I went home to write in my performance art notebook. Already some of the slate is coming off the cover.

Ms Fox said strangely fascinating. Is that good?

Make the bicycle ballet 'strangely fascinating'.

I've sort of mapped it out now.

The girls sing the Sugar Plum Fairy song in chorus on bikes at the back-It starts with swirling snow as they go to the Land of Sugar and Sweets. (Note for swirling snow: get a fan from Bob and lots of bits of paper.) The chorus goes up and down the back of the stage on their bikes, first with legs out to the sides. (Will have to give big shove to get it across stage.) Then one knee on the saddle.

Then both legs out at the back.

Then the Sugar Plum Fairy dance. I will be the Sugar Plum Fairy. (Costume note: get lots of sticks of rock from village store and net underskirt from Ruby's ballet class.) Could I get a unicycle from somewhere?

And dance with bike in centre of stage before I ride really fast off, and then come gliding back on when I have momentum. With no hands.

Eating rock?

We've rounded up five bikes from Ruby, although one is a bit small as she had it when she was six. Jo can have that one. And the rest are ones that have been left at The Blind Pig after people had The Blind Pig special ale (Ruby says).

We've got the music. And most of the costumes, and we're rehearsing every day at the back of college. I popped round to see the Rubster (and Matilda) on the way home, to see if the owlets were hatched yet and if Alex was about.

Ruby was eating an apple on the wall and she said she'd had a scientific idea.

"Dad is redecorating the downstairs ladies' loos, we could do your corker outline there. You know, a sideways outline. And see the difference the next time you are up here."

I said sadly, "Rubes, I don't think there is much chance of me being here next year. We've got our halfway assessments this week."

Matilda was hurling herself at my legs. She loves me. And goes mad with excitement every time she sees me. Ruby said, "Tha must smell like a doggie treat."

I said, casually, "Is Alex about?"

And Ruby tutted.

On Thursday, we were just going to check that the bicycles were oiled when I saw Alex in the corridor, talking to Lavinia.

I wished I had got my Barely Pink lipstick on to make me seem a bit more grown up.

They looked like they were sharing a private joke, and Lavinia was grinning like a beaver.

As we passed them I was pretending to find something in my tote bag, but Lav spotted me and said, "Hellooo, little Oirish, how's the crack? I'm railly looking forward to your piece in the performance lunchtime. What is it called?"

Damn.

"Um, well, ah..."

She and Alex were looking at me.

"It's called...Dance of the Sugar Plum Bikey," I said wildly.

Alex had a slight grin on his face. He said, "Dance of the Sugar Plum Bikey. Yes, that's got a nice ring to it."

Lavinia smiled.

I smiled back.

But I didn't really mean it, to be honest.

And also she was the only person who called me 'little' anything. I've never been called 'little', even when I was little. Which was never.

Alex then said something which made my bottom quake a lot. "Look forward to seeing it, I'll be there at the performance lunchtime."

No!

Out in the bike shed, as we were oiling away, I said to the girls, "I can't do this!"

None of them said anything, they just went on oiling.

I said, "I want to stay on at Dother Hall, but I can't let Alex see my knees."

Flossie said, "You've got to do something, Lullah."

I said wildly, "I could do my Egyptian mummy thing!"

The girls handed me my bike.

CHAPTER 14.

Dance of the Sugar Plum Bikey

My heart was thumping

My knees were bruised

I think I have sprained my ankle. Certainly I have destroyed a stoat mask made out of corn on the cob and a hula hoop. The bike might be fixable.

It took Bob and a couple of the bigger girls a little while to untangle me from the stage lights. When I eventually hobbled back on stage for the crit there was a big round of applause. And I heard someone yell "Encore".

But I think they may have been being ironic.

The singing was good, the lights went on and off, the bicycles' chorus across the back was good, it was all going so well. I think the audience was a little bit surprised by my bike solo when I did a jete and then the bike did a jete but...

It was when I came to do my final piece de resistance: the lying on the saddle with my legs outstretched at the back. I was fine, I was balanced and focused. Vaisey's singing had reached a crescendo and I had my sticks of rock ready when my net skirt caught in the back wheel. And ripped off. Leaving me in my apple catchers.

In the spotlight.

The net skirt also jammed the wheel so the bike suddenly stopped and I plunged over the handlebars and into the backstage area through the blackout curtain.

Gudrun handed me some hessian to cover my knickers. As I hobbled back in front of the audience, all I could think of was that maybe, by the grace of God, Alex had been in a minor car accident.

But then Lavinia hopped up on to the stage and said, "Well, that was soo railly good." And she glanced over to me, "And railly brave. Well done, you. You may have noticed that we have a tall handsome stranger with us today. Besides you, Bob!"

Bob flicked what was left of his ponytail back. And gave a thumbs up. He truly does think he is handsome.

Lavinia went on. "May I introduce you to the lovely Alex Barraclough. A local boy made good. Alex has starred in West End shows and is now on his way to take up a place at Liverpool Rep. So very exciting. He kindly said he would give us a word or two about today's performance. So over to Alex."

Alex stood up and swung himself on to the side of the stage. All of the girls and most of the staff (especially Monty) were practically drooling and flicking their hair.

Alex seemed very relaxed, he was probably used to it.

I pulled the hessian around me more tightly. God, my ankle hurt. I could never ever go round to The Blind Pig again. I didn't want to listen to what he was about to say. And also I thought I was probably having a heart attack. My heart was thumping, my knees were bruised and Alex had seen me in my knickers.

Vaisey was standing next to me and she squeezed my hand.

Jo mouthed, "You've got some rock in your hair."

Oh goodie.

Alex talked about "exploration" and "pushing boundaries" and not being afraid to fail. He said he'd enjoyed each piece in its own way.

Then as a final thing he said, "It's always hard to say what you like and why, but I have to say, in all honesty, I have never seen anything like the Sugar Plum Bikey. Never. It was ambitious and daring and...of course, accidents do happen. I once opened a door on stage and the whole set wall fell down. I haven't actually crashed off a bike head first into the wings. But maybe one day I will be lucky enough."

Everyone laughed.

I felt a bit better, actually. I think he was trying to make me feel less of an idiot.

He went off to massive applause.

The girls were very nice to me. They said it was a brave effort and everything, but I knew.

We were getting our assessment marks after lunch. I couldn't eat anything so I sat on the front steps just looking at the moors. I didn't have what it took. I wasn't full of Northern grit. I was full of some kind of grit from the stage floor, but it wasn't the kind I needed.

Blaise Fox came striding down the steps.

Please, please don't let her say anything horrid.

She said, "Tallulah, that was a triumph. You don't know how funny you are."

We got our assessments in little sealed envelopes. So this was it.

We went to our special tree to open them. I was hobbling along at the back.

Vaisey said, "Let's do it all at once. I'll count. Ready? One, two, three."

And we ripped open the envelopes.

Tallulah Casey Dother Hall Summer term assessment Dear Tallulah, You are clearly an intelligent girl as well as being very tall. You have an unusual presence and on the whole a slightly wild, but pleasing disposition.

However, I regret that so far my staff and I have seen nothing that would suggest to us that you are cut out for an artistic career. As we have tried to emphasise, this is not a career choice for the faint-hearted. In the time that you have left here, we hope that you will charge your glass with courage and show us that you can do something extraordinary.

Sidone Your overall assessment is 45% Vaisey, Jo, Honey and Flossie all got over sixty per cent.

Honey and Vaisey were specially mentioned for their singing.

I didn't want them to see my letter but they wanted to.

Jo said, "Come on, Lullah, it can't be that bad."

I gave it to her and she said, "Blimey, that's bad."

Vaisey said, "She says that you're tall and you have an unusual presence. That's good, isn't it?"

And that's when little tears came splashing out of my eyes.

I didn't want to cry in front of them. But I was.

Vaisey started crying then as well, when she saw me. She said, "Please don't, Lullah, I can't bear it if you cry and are upset. I think you are lovely, I thought you were lovely the minute I met you and you took me to Heckmondwhite High Street which isn't there. But that is what I love about you."

Flossie and Jo put their arms around me. Jo looked up at me and said, "I bet you can do something, I just bet you can show them. What about singing a really big belting song that-"

Flossie said quietly, "The singing tutor sort of said that maybe, you know, Lullah should concentrate on other things."

Jo said, "Oh yes, yes, I remember..."

No one could think of anything else to say. I was just standing in a huddle by our tree with my friends cuddling me. I've never been so unhappy and happy at the same time.

Then Honey said, "Thometimeth you've got to wait for a happy ending. Evwything workth out awight in the end."