Famous for The Eiffel tower, a sky-sc.r.a.per that contains no offices and the Magasin de Louvre which is visited by thousands of Americans daily.

There is also another Louvre containing some pictures (hand painted) and statues.

II. Paris Improper.

(See Appendix.)

The inhabitants of France are the most Moral and Patriotic people in the World, and their army is second to none in bravery and won the World War.

CHAPTER x.x.xI

GERMANY

_THIS s.p.a.cE TO LET_

[Ill.u.s.tration: "The apparel oft proclaims the man."--HAMLET.]

While Repairs are being made, in the temporary absence of Messrs.

Hohenzollern & Co., the Show Window of this establishment may be rented for the display of Bolshevism, Anarchism, Socialism, or any other popular Ism that may apply.

CHAPTER x.x.xII

SWITZERLAND

Switzerland is famous for its Condensed Milk, Cuckoo Clocks, Yodelers, and Heroes.

The Swiss are an Artless people.

"What more worthy people! Whose every Alpine gap yawns with tradition, and is stocked with n.o.ble story, yet, the perverse and scornful one (Art) will none of it, and the sons of patriots are left with the clock that turns the mill, and the sudden cuckoo, with difficulty restrained in its box."

_Whistler._

The inhabitants of Switzerland are the most Moral and Patriotic people in the World and their army is second to none in bravery and won the World War.

CHAPTER x.x.xIII

MONACO

[Ill.u.s.tration]

Monaco is the centre of the spinning industry of the world.

Over a million and a quarter people go to Monte Carlo every year to spin.

The inhabitants of Monaco are the most Moral and Patriotic people in the World, and their army is second to none in bravery and won the World War.

CHAPTER x.x.xIV

TURKEY

[Ill.u.s.tration]

When what was once a Turkey comes before us on a platter (like this) shorn of all that endeared it to itself, a burnt offering to Appet.i.te, fresh from the burning, no one questions what will be the "_ ... last scene of all. That ends this strange eventful history._"

All he wants to know is whether he will get the particular slice he has mentally reserved for himself.

Just so that other Turkey that sits on the fence between Europe and Asia and gobbles defiance at an avenging world.

The avenging Powers sit round as they have sat round before, waiting each one for the slice he has mentally reserved for himself. But there won't be any slices!

_You may burn, you may shatter_ _The Turk if you will,_ _He will rise from his ashes_ _And roost with you still._

He is the modern incarnation of the indestructible Phnix Bird.

Nevertheless we must give the Devil his due; the Turks are a fearless people; they have many wives.

The inhabitants of Turkey are the most Moral and Patriotic people in the World, and their army is second to none in bravery and they won the World War.