"How can you be so blase?" he snaps.

"I'm not! I hate this too!"

A movement behind me catches Bryn's attention and I look over. Jax stands in the bedroom doorway, barefoot and shirtless. He pushes a hand through his mussed hair and smiles at us.

Does the guy have a death wish?

"Hey, Bryn."

Bryn's face darkens and I swear he's holding his breath.

"Jax!" I mouth at him.

"Anybody want breakfast?" he asks.

I'm unsure who's the most speechless as we watch Jax head into the next room. My heart thumps and I tense, ready for Bryn's comment. Or worse.

I place a hand on Bryn's leg, warning him to stay. "Don't say anything. I need you on my side here."

"It's f.u.c.king hard for me to see the man I've seen with a different girl each night, now coming out of my sister's bedroom!" He pushes my hand away and stands.

I swallow against his words and the image of that Jax, the one I'm counting on him leaving behind. I stand to face him. "My choice, Bryn."

The tension rolling from him scares me, and I step in front of Bryn as he stares at the direction Jax went. "Every time I see his hands on you, I want to smack him. Hard."

"What for? I understand you're looking out for me, but Jax hasn't done anything wrong!"

"I warned him to stay away, he should've respected that," he growls.

"Sit down, Bryn." I push him onto the sofa and stand between him and the doorway again. Bryn sits and scowls. "I'm twenty years old. I am big enough to make my own decisions, and you are not making them for me. If you don't like this between me and Jax, tough. My life, my f.u.c.k-up if things go wrong." Bryn opens his mouth to speak. "I won't let him mess me around. First hint he is, and this is over. So back off!"

Bryn's silent shock amuses me. "Man, you're feistier than usual at the moment."

"Look at what I'm facing around me! The last thing I need is more conflict. Draw a line. Move on. You're wasting energy interfering in my life."

"Yeah, I know. I've tried telling myself I'll keep out of this and only step in if I needed to, but it's hard! You're my baby sister."

I grit my teeth against raising my voice. "Look at me, Bryn. I'm not a kid."

He shakes his curls from his face. "I told you before, that's the problem! You're still my kid sister. I don't want you to get hurt."

I sit next to Bryn and take his hand. "I'm lucky to have you as a big brother, but please back off. This situation is becoming too much now - me and you are going to fall out if you don't stop."

For a moment, he says nothing and stares at the floor. "Fine! But if he puts one foot out of line -"

"I'm d.a.m.n sure he won't step out of line around you."

Bryn's focus remains on the carpet. "One thing..."

"What now?"

He stands again and tucks his hands beneath his arms, before fixing me with concerned eyes. "You are being careful, yeah?"

I cringe. "Bryn! Please, don't..."

"Yeah. Right." The awkward hangs between us. Surely, he's not going to give me a talk on contraception. "Fine. Jax. I need to talk to him before I go."

My heart rate picks up as Bryn heads in Jax's direction.

When low voices rather than raised ones come from the next room, I hesitate. I will go in there if I hear Bryn raise his voice. He reappears a few minutes later with an impa.s.sive look.

"Switch your phone back on, Tegan. Please."

"Okay."

"And don't go out on your own."

I nod and kiss his cheek. "I'm fine. This reaction to me will blow over soon. Maybe you could find something scandalous to do? Take the heat off me."

Bryn's eyes darken for a moment and he shakes his head. "You chose the front man, I'm just a drummer."

"But you're Bryn Hughes," I say with a smile. "My awesome rock star brother."

With another indistinguishable grunt, he heads out of the room.

Will that be the end of this conflict? Somehow, I doubt it. Did Bryn swallow my lie about being fine and thinking the outside scrutiny will blow over?

Jax reappears with the menu. "Awesome, they do full English breakfast. I'm b.l.o.o.d.y starving after last night!"

I blink at how nonchalant he is. "What did Bryn say?"

He shrugs. "Same old. I have nothing to worry about because I'm going to take care of you."

"I'm not a puppy. I don't need taking care of."

Jax sets down the menu and strokes my hair from my face. "You're a fierce chick, Tegan, but you're like me underneath."

"And what are you?"

"Out of my depth."

27.

VIENNA, AUSTRIA.

TEGAN.

Another morning, another city.

I'm becoming lazy, alternating tiring nights of addictive s.e.x with Jax, and sleeping in until near lunch. Over the next week, my trust in him builds. He hasn't joined Will and Nate on their hedonistic nights out, instead taking me with him to the bar in the hotel, or to any after parties held here. I've told Jax to go out, because I don't want him resenting me for curtailing his tour lifestyle. He explains that my plans have been interrupted; and as long as I'm around, he's focusing on us. Besides, he doesn't want press scrutiny any more than I do.

The pessimist in me wonders how long his self-control will last. By the end of the first week, he's starting to crack, and I tell Jax I'm cool with him going out. Jax refuses unless I'm with him. This att.i.tude is sweet, but not sustainable. Doesn't he trust himself?

I stand in the window of my gilded prison and stare out at the Viennese skyline as I pace the treadmill in the gym. Today, the sun shines brightly, the cathedral spire central and stretching into the blue sky. In the distance, the Alps dominate. One day I'll come back to Europe and an Alpine resort; ski on a beautiful winter's day like this one. The only fresh air I've breathed recently has been in and out of cars between airports and hotels, and I'm at my coping limit.

I check my watch. Jax is with Will and Nate until later, and he's into his usual sound check, perform, drink routine. I told Jax I'd check in with him before he leaves and then... What? The boredom grows and suffocates.

There's a park a few hundred metres from the hotel, bordered by thick tree canopies. Temptingly close. As I stare at the green oasis from the gym window, I justify my oncoming decision. When we arrived yesterday afternoon at the airport, most fans I saw were closing in on Blue Phoenix while Jax and me slipped into our waiting car without any ha.s.sle. Austrian fans could be calmer; I doubt the small group of people following the bands from city to city are part of the mental fan base who post poison on the internet. Most of the bulls.h.i.t directed at us is from social media.

Everybody is overreacting.

h.e.l.l, I'm wearing running shoes, if anybody does approach me I can move fast.

I slip out of the hotel and cross the busy city street. When I reach the Volksgarten park, I jog along the paths bordering manicured lawns; and with each step, a sense of easy freedom pushes in. Other tourists nod in greeting when I smile at them as I pa.s.s. Hair in a ponytail under a baseball cap, I'm hardly recognisable unless somebody is a true stalker. One thing I suspect is the most vicious of people probably never step out from behind the keyboard. Most wouldn't know what to say to me if we did meet.

Despite working out in the gym every day, there's something magical about doing the same outdoors, especially in such beautiful surrounds. I track my distance on my watch, annoyed my pace and times have dropped, but I am using a lot of energy on Jax currently.

Jax. If it weren't for the c.r.a.p that comes with his fame, he'd be too good to be true. Okay, so much of his attentiveness to me is s.e.x, but there's a definite connection beyond the physical. Otherwise, why else would we be comfortable spending long periods hidden away in each other's company?

Then there's the fact Scott wasn't as confident a lover as Jax is, or as adventurous. Occasionally, I have to blank my mind of Jax doing the same things with more than a handful of girls before me; but as the days pa.s.s, the images are pushed out.

I feel as if I've known Jax months and not weeks.

I pause at the edge of the road, readying myself to return to the hotel and spot a coffee shop nearby. The coffee sold in the hotel is pa.s.sable, but the popularity of this place and the aroma spilling out onto the street draws me in.

The cafe is busy with tourists and locals, the staff coping well with their diverse clientele. Some tourists attempt to speak German and others shout in English as if this'll improve their chances of being served. I hang back and wait my turn.

n.o.body pays attention to the perspiring girl with a pink face.

Unable to resist the array of pastries on offer, I pick two strudels, one for me and one for Jax. With a cup in each hand and a bag of pastries between my teeth, I head to my neighbouring hotel.

When I enter, the elderly concierge studies me with a frown as I nod. I guess I don't look like the usual guests of the prestige establishment.

He breaks into a smile of his own as he remembers who I am. "Good run?"

I nod again.

Filled with well-needed endorphins, I head to the elevators and back into the artificial light and air con of the band's hotel floor. I can cope with another day stuck inside now. Maybe. While jogging, I ran through the original plans I had for my visit to Vienna in my head. I could go further afield; slip out when the attention shifts to the venue, where fans head to catch a glimpse of - and possible selfie with - the band members if they can catch them outside.

"Tegan!" I stop at Jax's panicked voice and turn.

He strides over, brow tugged into a deep frown. "Where were you?"

I hand him a coffee and take the bag out of my mouth. "I went out, for a run around the park. Picked these up on the way back, do you like -"

His eyes grow in surprise. "You did what?"

"I went out. n.o.body was around, the press must be out chasing somebody else."

"Tegan! What the f.u.c.k do you think you're doing?"

I blink. "Excuse me, but don't you dare speak to me like that!"

He rakes a hand through his hair. "I couldn't find you! You said you were in the gym and when I looked you weren't, or in your room. Why didn't you answer your phone?"

"I didn't hear it," I snap back. "Are you stalking me now, too?"

"No! I was looking for you. I have to go to the stadium early and won't be back until late tonight. I wanted to see you before I went."

"Well, I'm fine."

"Leaving the hotel was a b.l.o.o.d.y stupid thing to do!"

"I said I'm fine!"

We stand off, glowering at each other. I don't care how worried Jax is; this is a total overreaction.

"What if something had happened?" he asks.

"Like what? Everybody is too paranoid. Most of these trolls only exist behind keyboards! If there were any paparazzi, they'd have a shot of my a.s.s; but that's about it!"

Jax crosses his arms and his mouth thins, in a gesture all too reminiscent of my brother. "You can't go out on your own."

The tension I've contained for the last week threatens to explode at his words and I grip the paper bag attempting to quell the oncoming anger. "I what?"

"Don't do it again."

Too late. My voice rises. "f.u.c.k off, Jax. I'm not twelve!"

His face reddens. "Don't tell me to f.u.c.k off!"

"Don't try and tell me what to do! I was in broad daylight, in a crowded place. I'm fine!"

"You don't get it, do you? You're with me and -"

"And you're a rock star? Yeah, you told me. But I'm not going to be your appendage!" I shove the paper bag at him and it falls to the floor. "You sound like my brother!"

When Jax looks down at the pastry that fell out of the bag, a thought hits. "Did you talk to Bryn?" He doesn't say anything. "Jax?"

"I thought he might know where you are and -"