"What?"

"About this between us lasting."

"Oh. Right. Um." s.h.i.t.

"Don't stress. I think it's cute you can see us lasting beyond the tour."

Cute? I sit forward. "What the h.e.l.l? Don't you?"

"Who knows?"

I'm p.i.s.sed off now. I haven't thought hard about a future with Tegan outside the tour, as I can't see much beyond day to day currently. If she's doubtful, could the relationship that's causing this s.h.i.tstorm be over soon? Telling the world about Tegan was supposed to make things less complicated, not more.

I stand. "Fine. Whatever. I'm heading upstairs to fetch my gear."

"Yeah, I might come with you." Tegan holds her hand out so I can pull her up from the seat. When I do, she keeps hold of my shoulders and kisses me softly. "Don't be p.i.s.sed off with me for being realistic about us."

"I'm not," I lie.

She slides her hand into the back pocket of my jeans and squeezes my a.s.s. "But Riley's right, you'd better make this worth my while."

I nip her bottom lip. "Oh, I will. You already know that."

Tegan's face breaks into a smile, eyes lighting up with the happiness I want to see in them. I wrap her in my arms. There's nothing more natural than Tegan's warmth pressed against me; they can't take this away from us. I bury my face into her soft hair and focus my senses on us.

s.e.x with Tegan blew my mind. Yeah, cliche but true. She ripped everything I understood about f.u.c.king a girl out of my head and showed me a real connection. We were Jax and Tegan, not Jax and some girl who lies down to let the rock star screw her. Never mind that she has the sweetest p.u.s.s.y and amazing body, there was more. I looked her in the face. I never look girls in the face, or link myself to anything but the physical pleasure. Weird, but the moment I met her eyes, our bodies joined, something shifted. Tegan isn't just another in a long line; she's something else. She's mine.

Tegan stole any chance of this being purely physical the day she teased me after our first night out. I knew then if I was prepared to wait for her, this would be different. I cared about Tegan's pleasure. I want to be the man she can't ever let go because if s.e.x feels half as f.u.c.king good for her as it does for me, we've something here that I don't want to lose.

The worry is, with the openness comes more. I'm unsure if opening myself up to this girl was the right move. What if she takes my heart and smashes it into pieces?

TEGAN.

I switch off my phone and throw it onto the bed, unable to look at the screen any more. I sit and stare through the window of my hotel suite, into the dark sky where the stars are shrouded by grey clouds, and attempt to ground myself. Three solid days of this c.r.a.p. What the h.e.l.l am I doing? Jax is lying next to me, hands behind his head as he watches local TV.

"What's wrong?" he asks.

"Doesn't matter." My heart races as the comments on my Twitter feed seer sear themselves across my mind. Pure nastiness from people who don't know me. Today, I discovered a fake account set up in my name, filled with p.o.r.n images reported to be me.

"More of the same?" Jax sits and wraps his arms around me, pulling me into him. I rest my head on his shoulder and he kisses my hair. "You shouldn't have reactivated your account. I'm going to have to confiscate your b.l.o.o.d.y phone!"

I glance at the offending item. "I'm not switching it back on now."

"Good."

"I don't understand why they do this," I whisper. "The press, I expected but the fans... How can they say they're your fans if they want to do this to somebody you care about? People are threatening to find me and cut me."

Jax's grip on me tightens. "You'll be okay. We'll be okay."

"I'm scared," I admit and fight the tears I refuse to cry. "It's all right for you! You could go out in public if you want! n.o.body's sending you threats."

"Come here." Jax lies back against the mound of pillows; I rest my head on his chest and focus on the steady thrum of his heartbeat. As he strokes my hair, my anxiety subsides.

"Sorry I was so stupid," I say. "I really didn't think this through."

"I took part in posting the photo. Not your fault."

I sigh. "I really didn't think you were famous enough for the world to freak out."

"Hey!" Jax rolls me over and props himself up with his arms either side of my head. He settles himself between my legs, grinning down at me. "I told you I was a rock star, you were the one who told me I was too full of myself!"

"I guess the world loves you more than I thought."

"Yeah, like the people who won the VIP backstage tour tonight. Really weird. They hardly said two words to me, that's how blinded by my awesomeness they were."

I groan and poke him in the chest. "What were they like?"

"A thirteen year old who spent the whole time silent and bright pink, and her mother who kept checking her watch. To be honest, I think they're here to see Blue Phoenix and enjoy the free trip to Berlin."

"Aww, poor Jax."

"Suits me, means I get to spend time with my favourite girl."

'Hey!" I push him off me and roll over, pinning him down instead. "Favourite girl? Only girl!"

"Only girl." He pulls my hair from my face, lifting his head to kiss me. This is why I'm putting myself through this this. The effect this man has on me is unlike anybody before, kissing Jax triggers a slow burn inside from the moment his lips touch mine. I constantly crave his touch, and the pa.s.sion he returns matches mine, every time. We could lose ourselves in each other for a whole day, and I'd still want more. Jax shifts and I wriggle against him. He groans and pushes himself against me.

I sit back on his hips and smooth my hands across his chest. Jax looks up at me with darkened eyes and slides his hand up my leg. "You're f.u.c.king amazing," he says. "Seriously, you turn me on like that." He snaps his fingers.

"I guess I'm the awesome one." I slowly unb.u.t.ton his woven black shirt. The jade pendant hangs against his ridge of muscle at the top of his chest and I twist the leather around my finger. "Jade. Health, wealth, and happiness."

"Well, it worked for me."

"Hmm. Maybe not the health part if you don't watch yourself."

"Why?"

"The drinking, Jax."

He ignores me and reaches behind his head to unfasten the necklace. "Here." The stone dangles from the leather towards his face as he holds the pendant out to me.

"Why are you giving me that?"

"Jade protects against negative energy too. You could do with some protection from s.h.i.t."

I take the necklace from him. "You're strange. I'd never expect you to believe in this stuff."

"Sometimes I do. This is special, because since I started wearing the pendant good things have happened in my life." He runs his hands along my sides, settling them on my a.s.s. "And I'm giving it to you because you're special. Who knows, the jade might help keep the bad away."

The small green stone is warm from being against his skin and I swing the pendant around. "I think it would need to be bigger to make a decent weapon."

We share a smile as my heart opens that little bit further to him. Does Jax see the romance in his gesture?

"Well, the necklace is yours."

Hesitantly, I fasten the necklace. "Oh, wow! I feel better already! This is amazing!"

"Snarky!"

"Thank you, Jax." I lean forward and kiss him. "I love that you shared this with me."

I unb.u.t.ton the rest of his shirt and drag my fingernails along his skin, across his tattooed abs. The blue star tattoos are half-covered by his jeans, and I slide my fingers inside the waistband. Jax sucks in air with a hiss as I roll my hips against him. He's not the only one who's turned on with just a touch or kiss.

I meet Jax's eyes in challenge, and pull my t-shirt over my head. Jax raises a brow and holds the curve of my waist, pulling me down to him; our skin on skin the most natural feeling in the world. Sliding a hand up my back to my hair, Jax pulls my head down and kisses me again, harder; but I pull away and sit back up. As I unclasp my bra and throw it next to my t-shirt, he watches with a proprietary look in his darkened eyes.

"Are you seducing me, Tegan Hughes?"

"You never need any persuasion, Jaxon Lewis."

Grinning, he smooths his hands upwards, rough fingertips against my skin; but before he reaches my b.r.e.a.s.t.s, I seize his arms, pinning them back on the bed as I lean in to kiss him.

"I caught myself a rock star," I whisper and nip his ear.

His hot breath strokes my cheek and he doesn't struggle against my hands. I know full well he could tip me over and hold me down while he did delicious things to me, but I think Jax knows who he's dealing with.

This has to be equal, and that means he needs to know I won't be constrained - by him or his life.

26.

BRUSSELS, BELGIUM.

TEGAN.

The banging in my dreams grows louder and I groan. I'm spooned with Jax in the bed, his arms curled tightly around my naked body.

"b.l.o.o.d.y h.e.l.l!" I mutter and pull a pillow over my head.

The sound m.u.f.fles beneath the thick material, but Jax pulls the pillow away and covers my face in kisses. "Somebody wants you, they've been knocking for five minutes."

"What time is it?" I squint at him and he leans over to reach his phone next to the bedside table. Unable to resist, I place my lips on his back, on the winged heart tattoo similar to his band logo.

"Eleven."

"Wow." I sit and pull the sheet above my naked b.r.e.a.s.t.s. "Late."

"Late night." Jax's eyes shine as he loosens the sheet from my hands. "Or early morning, however you want to look at it." He runs a finger around my nipples until they peak before replacing his finger with his lips. I'm about to lie back down and enjoy whatever he has planned when the door bangs again.

"I have to answer that," I tell him and reluctantly wriggle away.

I grab my thin silk robe and tie it around myself as I leave Jax and walk to the door. Tiptoeing, I look through the peephole.

Big brother. Great.

I glance back at the bedroom, relieved I have a suite with a separate bedroom. "Hang on!" I yell, tighten my belt, and answer the door.

"Why the f.u.c.k aren't you answering your phone?" Bryn snarls and pushes past me.

"Good morning. Aren't you just a big bundle of happiness today?" I reply, closing the door and turning.

"Have you seen what's out there about you?" he demands. "Missed the latest threats? I can't contact you and I'm f.u.c.king worried!"

I touch his bare arm. "Bryn, I'm fine. I have my phone off because I'm sick of seeing the c.r.a.p too. I've been in here all night and I'm fine."

Bryn takes in my appearance and I self-consciously smooth my hair. He narrows his eyes momentarily and mumbles something to himself. "Is he still here?"

"Jax? Yes." I prepare to stop Bryn charging into my bedroom and confronting him; but since the night in Paris, his acceptance of the situation has improved. Or it had. "And don't you dare say anything."

He crosses his arms. "At least you're not on your own, I suppose."

"Jax cares. He's looking out for me too."

A humph is my response and a glimmer of Bryn's reasoning behind his dislike of Jax shines through. This isn't only his lack of acceptance that I'm growing up, but he's not happy somebody is taking his place.

"So, I'm fine."

Bryn crosses to the plush blue sofa and sinks into the cushions. From his vantage point he has a view of the bedroom door, and I edge backwards to close it as he stares at the carpet.

"This s.h.i.t is crazy," he mutters.

I head over and curl up next to him. "You don't need to tell me that."

"Seriously, this is bulls.h.i.t. When Phoenix hit the world, we had a s.h.i.tload of press attention, but nothing like this!"

"Eight years ago, the landscape was different." Bryn looks confused. "Social media."

"Yeah, but even Dylan and Sky didn't have to face this last year. Or I don't think they did." He rubs his face. "Maybe they did, I didn't pay much attention."

"Yay for me, I choose the rock star with the most vicious fan base."