"'"Good morning, king," said the farmer; "where are you folks going?"

"'"Hunting," said the king.

"'"Hunting! You'll all get wet," said the farmer.

"'The king trusted his astrologer and kept on, but at midday there came up a tremendous rain that drenched the king and all his party.

"'On getting back to the palace the king had the astrologer decapitated, and sent for the farmer to take his place.

"'"Law's sakes!" said the farmer, when he arrived, "it ain't me that knows when it's going to rain, it's my donkey. When it's going to be fair weather, he always carries his ears forward, so. When it's going to rain, he puts 'em backward, so."

"'"Make the donkey the court astrologer!" shouted the king.

"'It was done; but the king always declared that that appointment was the greatest mistake he ever made in his life.'

"Mr. Lincoln stopped there," said the office-seeker.

"'Why did he call it a mistake?" we asked him. 'Didn't the donkey do his duty?'

"'Yes,' said the President, 'but after that every donkey in the country wanted an office.'"

ENCOURAGE LONGING FOR WORK.

In 1861, the badgered President had so novel an application that he wrote the annexed note to facilitate its harvest:

"To Major Ramsey: The lady--bearer of this--says she has two sons who want to work. Set them at it, if possible. Wanting to work is so rare a merit that it should be encouraged."

"BUT AARON GOT HIS COMMISSION!"

To animadversion on the President appointing to a post one who had zealously opposed his reelection, he replied:

"Well, I allow that Judge E----, having been disappointed before, did behave pretty 'ugly,' but that would not make him any less fit for the place; and I think I have scriptural authority for appointing him. You remember when the Lord was on Mount Sinai getting out a commission for Aaron, said Aaron was at the foot of the mountain, making a false G.o.d for the people to worship? Yet Aaron got his commission, you know."

SOMETHING LINCOLNIAN ALL COULD TAKE.

When the President had an attack of spotted fever, and was told he must be immured, as it was catching, he smiled and said:

"It is a pity to shut the public off--as while every act of mine is not taken to, _now_ I have something everybody might take!"

"NOT MANY SUCH BOYS OUTSIDE OF SUNDAY-SCHOOLS!"

A Boston business house was deceived in an errand boy. Fresh from the country he succ.u.mbed to temptation and robbed the mails. His father tried to get him off the penalty as the United States Government took up the case. He went to Washington and prevailed on his representative, Alexander H. Rice, to intercede for him. Rice and the President were on familiar terms. As soon as the pleader presented himself, Mr. Lincoln a.s.sumed an easy att.i.tude, legs stretched, leaning back, and read the pet.i.tion.

"Well," said he, "did you meet a man going out as you came in? His errand was to get a man out of the penitentiary, and now you come to get a boy out of jail. I am bothered to death about these pardon cases; but I am a little encouraged by _your_ visit. They are after me on the men, but appear to be roping _you_ in on the boys. What shall we do? The trouble appears to come from the courts.

Let us abolish the courts, and I think that will end the difficulty.

And it seems to me that the courts ought to be abolished, anyway, for they appear to pick out the very best men in the community and send them to the penitentiary, and now they are after the same kind of boys. I don't know much about boys in Ma.s.sachusetts, but according to this pet.i.tion, there are not many such boys as this one outside the Sunday-schools in other parts!"

It was settled that if a majority of the Ma.s.sachusetts delegates signed the paper, a pardon would be given.--(Testified to by Honorable Alexander H. Rice, former governor of Ma.s.sachusetts.)

THE GOOD BOY GETS ON.

According to White House etiquette, as a congressman and a senator, Wilson and Rice, called together on the President, they were admitted in company. As they were readmitted from the anteroom a boy of about twelve, on the lookout, slipped in with them. After the salutations the host became absorbed in the intruder, as he was always interested in the young.

But the two gentlemen were unable to answer the natural question:

"Who is this little boy?"

But the boy could speak for himself, and instantly said that he was "a good boy," come to Washington in the hope of becoming a page in the House of Representatives. The President began to say that Captain Goodenow, head doorkeeper there, was the proper person to make that application to, as he had nothing to do with such appointments. But the good little boy pulled out his credentials, from his folks, the squire, and the parson and schoolmaster, and they stated not only that he was good, but good to his widow mother, and wanted to help the needy family. The President called the boy up to him, studied him, and wrote on his pet.i.tion:

"If Captain Goodenow can give this good boy a place, it will oblige A. LINCOLN."

(Vouched for by Alexander H. Rice, member of Congress, and ex-governor of Ma.s.sachusetts.)

HOW McCULLOCH WAS CONSTRAINED TO SERVE.

For two arduous years Hugh McCulloch, banker of Indianapolis, served in organizing the Currency Control. He was looking forward to release and repose at the second Administration, when the renewed inc.u.mbent begged him to become secretary of the treasury. He remonstrated.

"But I could not help myself," he confessed to Janet Jennings. "Mr.

Lincoln looked at me with his sad, weary eyes, and throwing his arm over my shoulder, said:

"'You must; the country needs you!'"

That was a gesture worth all the elegant tones in the elocution-books.