"Honey, no guy is perfect but I don't think you hate him. So what happened?"

"I caved. I just melted right there under the stare of his dark blue eyes. I said, let's just get the hell out of here and we left. We got outside and that's when Trevor came barreling out the door yelling a bunch of shit, like I was a cunt and how dare I walk out on a date with him, blah blah blah."

"Wha-a-at? He called you a cunt?" Kat slapped the counter top with her palm.

"So when Jesse heard him call me a cunt, he walked right up to him and punched him. I was so freaked out I ran away and took a cab home."

"Jesus Niki, are you fucking crazy or what? Jesse loves you like no one else. Of course he would punch him for saying that. And quite frankly, if I was in your shoes and someone called me a cunt, I would demand my guy to stand up for me. Jesse's your knight in fuckin shining armor, girl." She cocked her head to the side, "don't you get it?"

"You don't think that shows he's a whack job? Unstable?"

"Hell no! He was defending your honor. What did you want him to do? Just let the guy get away saying that shit to you? No, I'm telling you, Jesse is not a psycho nutcase kind of dude. He may be impulsive--and damn hot--but deep down, he's really a good guy. He's passionate about the things he believes in and has a hard time expressing it in words. But most men are like that."

"Do you really think so?"

"I know so. You need to stop all this wishy-washy, namby pamby, "I don't know if I can handle him", bullshit and claim him before another girl gets a chance. He wants you more than anything else in the world. He is in love with you."

"He is?' How do you know?"

"Chase told me. He said Jesse is head over heels with you."

"He really said that? He likes me that much?"

"He worships the god damn ground you walk on, sweetie. Ask Chase yourself." Kat pushed my cell phone across the countertop until it was under my nose.

I pursed my lips and turned my chin up to the side. I picked up my cell phone and called Chase. My heartbeat picked up its rate as I waited for him to pick up.

"Hey Chase. It's Niki."

"Hey Niki. What's up?"

"Are you at work?"

"I'm always at work these days. What do you need?"

"Um, I need your advice on a matter, but first is Jesse there? Cause I don't want him to hear..."

"No, Jesse's not here. As a matter of fact, he's home right now packing. He is going back to New York."

My heart dropped to the floor. I turned and looked at Kat and she mouthed the words, "Oh my God." She had heard everything.

"He can't leave..." I blurted out. Desperation was rising in my body. I felt like the air being sucked out of my lungs. My mind was screaming the words, NOOOO! but my mouth said, "I mean, moving back to New York? Why? I thought he was here all summer helping at the bar?"

"Niki, I'm gonna level with you. The guys in a hurt locker. He told me he messed things up with you again so he is throwing in the towel. He's leaving, Niki. He might even be gone already for all I know. If you care about him, get your butt over there before it's too late and talk him into staying.

"Can't you talk to him and convince him to stay?"

"No, only you can do that. He's broken right now. I've never seen him like this, Niki. I think he's in love with you."

My hands trembled as I placed the phone back down on the counter. Tears were stinging my eyes. I swallowed hard and cleared my throat.

"Kat, what should I do? He's leaving."

"Do you love him?" She asked in all seriousness.

"Yes." I squeaked through tears spilling down my face.

"Then go! Go, girl! Tell him how you feel." She tugged on my arm, pushing me towards the door, grabbing my purse and keys along the way. "You will be losing a great guy if you don't hurry."

I stumbled along, sniffing and wiping tears with the back of my hand as I went. I paused before shutting the door. "Thank you Kat. I love you, girlfriend." She snatched a tissue from the box on the counter and waved it in my direction. "Here. Wipe the mascara from your eyes."

As I peeled off towards Kenny's house I took a deep breath and gripped the steering wheel tighter, hoping it would steady my trembling hands. My mind was racing. What should I say? What if he refuses to talk to me? Slams the door in my face and tells me to get the fuck out? Maybe I could go with him to New York? Oh shit. What was I thinking? I can't leave my classes and my life here for him? Oh yes I can. I can do whatever I want. I never even realized what I had with him. He was standing right in front of me the whole time and like an idiot I almost missed the best thing that has ever happened in my life. I figured it out and now it's clear. He was right here in front of me the whole time.

As I got to the house I parked my car on the street. I fussed over texting him first to let him know I was on my way but I didn't, afraid he would say, don't come. I swallowed hard and made my way up the driveway to the door. I passed by his black, big wheel pickup truck. A pang of nervous desperation pierced my heart as I saw two boxes already loaded in the bed of the truck.

Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit. I can do this.

I shook my hands out like I was a boxer about to enter the ring. My nerves were rattling me to the bone. I jabbed the doorbell with a trembling finger and waited. One-Mississippi, two-Mississippi, three-Mississippi... I was counting the seconds. It was a nervous habit to distract my mind from overwhelming fear. I think I audible exhaled when the door swung open.

"Niki." His voice sounded surprised and his face revealed it as well.

I closed my eyes and swallowed hard. "Um...I...was just, driving by..." I turned and waved a hand palm up to my car. "And thought I'd stop and say hello." I bounced up and down on my heels, pursed my lips and nodded my head. I had rushed out without a thought for what I was wearing. I looked down my plain white tank top. Not exactly dressed to sway someone's heart but it would have to do.

He shot me a sidelong glance, eyeing me up and down. "Whatever you say. Come in," and swept a hand in a welcoming gesture.

At least he didn't slam the door in my face. I looked down and I was nervously wringing my hands. I grabbed onto my purse strap. I practically tip-toed past him, brushing close enough to his powerful chest to remind me why I was there. Once inside the family room I stood awkwardly in the silence of the house. His uncle must be at work. There was no sound but the ticking of a large brown clock on the wall and the pounding of my heart was drowning it out.

"Can I get you something to drink? A Coke or bottled water?" He strode over to the kitchen and paused in front of the refrigerator with his hand on the door handle.

"Oh, no thanks."

He pushed his unruly hair out of his eyes. The move that was my Achilles heel. The move that drove me crazy watching his muscle ripple and flex over the tattoo. Did he know what it did to me? Was he that calculating? Or just an Adonis who didn't know his own power? I dipped my chin to my chest and cleared my throat hoping that if I didn't look up it would release me from the magnetic pull he had on me. I had to get this out. I had to say it.

"Jesse, I'm just going to say it straight out. I came because I heard you were leaving, moving back to New York." I shifted my weight from one foot to the other. He walked forward and stood leaning one hand on the breakfast bar and the other on his hip.

"Yea, I plan on leaving in the morning."

"Oh, I see." I took a couple steps towards him, licked my lips and swallowed hard. "Well, um...what about us?" I cocked my head a little to the side.

He closed the remaining distance between us in two strides and took both of my hands in his. Dipping his head down to look in my eyes he said, "Niki, I'm sorry, but after I saw you last time, I figured I fucked up one too many and you would never want an "us". I figured I'd lost you. And I can't stay here if there is no chance of us. This place...this city will always remind me of you. So, the only thing to do for me would be go back to New York and try to forget I'd ever met you."

His eyes pierced mine and the connection caught. I felt the flood gates open but I fought to pull it together.

"Jesse, you can't go. I don't give a damn about the fights and whatever. I need you here. I won't let you leave. You can't go."

"Why not? Why do you care so much? I'm fighting for you and every time you have given me such a hard case. Do you even like me, Niki?"

"Like you? Of course I like you. You mean everything to me. You came into my life and filled a huge hole in my heart. All this time, ever since my mother died. I have had a hard time feeling anything, until I met you. I don't know how it happened but I feel connected to you and if you leave, I don't know how I can go on and...and...."

I was talking fast and rambling in my attempt to get everything out I wanted to say. The more I spoke, the more his features softened until he was cupping my face in both of his hands, looking deep into my eyes. It rendered me breathless. His eyes flicked up and down from my eyes to my lips and back again.

Before I could catch my breath, he claimed my mouth with his, tears welling up behind my closed eyelids. He pulled back just enough to let me feel his breath on my lips. "Say it, Niki." He whispered, almost pleading, "I want to hear you say the words."

Tears spilling, and my chest rising and falling from my irregular breathing, I choked out the words, "I...I want you, Jesse. I want you to stay. Stay for me, Jesse. Stay for us."

"But why? Why should I stay?"

"Because...I love you. I love you, Jesse. With all my heart."

He crushed my mouth again, swirling his tongue, pushing his hands first up into my hair and then running them down my back, pressing me up against his warm muscular body. Granting fate to follow its path, I leaned into his embrace and met his kisses with un-abandoned submission, my mind whirling, all thoughts lost to the moment. In that one simple movement, that one willing gesture, all of his wishes and future wishes were affirmed. He knew I was his and he was mine. He pulled back from our kiss, and dipped his head to touch my forehead, still holding me in the crook of his elbow, his arms wrapped around me so tight, while I trembled.

"That's all I wanted to hear Niki. You are my fantasy angel, so beautiful and good. And good for me. I never had much faith in love, or miracles, never wanted to put my heart on the line, until I met you, and everything changed. I don't want to imagine a life without you, so now I'll say goodbye to the old me, it's already gone. You are everything I've been looking for. Every kiss and every touch feels new yet so familiar. Looking at you I'm seeing the other half of me, my reflection, like a mirror." Tears rolled freely down my face as I blinked up into his eyes. "Of course I'll stay. I'll stay for you, Niki. I'll stay for us. I love you even more."

He loosened his vice grip on me and put just enough space between us for him to bring his hands to my face. Using both hands, he wiped away my tears with his thumbs his burning gaze never leaving mine.

"I want to be with you." Goose bumps raised on my skin as he caressed me. Before I could catch my breath, he ran his hands down my arms, taking both of my hands in his. He pulled my hands, as he walked backwards, driving me towards his bedroom with his intense gaze, our eyes never unlocking. With the weight of his body, he pressed my back against the hallway wall as the solid pack of his chest muscles firmly compacted my breasts, igniting a torrent of heat that ricocheted up and down the entire length of my body. I could feel the hardness of his erection against my thin tank top and sweat shorts, and my nipples budded up in immediate response. He interlaced his fingers in mine, palm to palm and pushed my hands up over my head pinning me. As my arms went up, my chest arched out and my head tilted back reflexively. He held my petite hands tightly. I released a soft whimper and my lips obediently parted for him. He claimed my mouth again, hungrily, as if he were a man starved of every basic human need, darting his velvet tongue in and out of my mouth, and sucking my lower lip as he pulled away slowly. Heat pulsed in my stomach. He pushed his knee between my legs, coaxing them apart. A long hot tingle raged between my legs.

He trailed hot kisses down my neck, his free hand running up the inside of my thigh and then all the way up where his hand pushed the crescent of my breast into his kisses. I rolled my head to the side and looked down tantalized by the sight of his mouth working my breast, watching as the tattoo on his bicep danced to the tune of his tugs, pushes and squeezes, until the pink of my nipple rewarded his tongue. I groaned a deeply salacious moan and whispered his name into the late afternoon shadows of the hallway.

The loose soft cotton fabric of my sweat shorts moved compliantly as his hand slid down inside my panties. He crushed his lips to mine as he slid his fingers easily between my separated and wet folds, ratcheting up the delicious tingle that he had already activated in me. He kissed and fondled me, his tongue and fingers moving in synchronicity, in and out, swirling, pushing, and stroking two frenzied erogenous zones at once. My mind screamed, overwhelmed with pulsing sensations that assaulted my ragged nerves. My breath caught, as he pushed his fingers up inside of me, every last coherent thought spilling out of my brain. He pulled his fingers out of me, and pulled back, his breath ragged with desire. He pinned me with a gaze from his burning blue eyes, looking down at me from beneath those long unruly locks, anointing himself with my wetness like holy water.

In a hormone infused fog, we stumbled the rest of the way into his bedroom, pawing and tearing at unwanted clothing. He kicked the door shut with his foot, his hands slipping up under my flimsy tank top, and pulled it off over my head in one swift sweep. The shock of having me alone, nearly naked for his pleasure registered like a ten on the Richter scale. He paused for a moment, stunned as if in disbelief, drinking in my body. Roaming and caressing every curve with his eyes. I slowly slipped my bra straps off, first one shoulder and then the other. I pulled my arms out, one at a time, with my arm across my chest. I held the cups of the bra to my breasts with splayed fingers, pushing and squeezing for his viewing, teasing his adrenaline level to the max. I looked down at my breast, pushed them up hard to overflow the cups and lifted my eyes to catch his reaction from under my lashes. It was magnificent. His eyes were so hungry, the expression on his face like an open book, and I knew that he wanted me badly, as much as I wanted him.

As if suddenly released from a frozen time warp, he blinked and ripped his t-shirt off over his head, letting it fall to the floor. He exhaled a slow breath. My eyes flickered and widened as a solid pack of muscles moved under his tan skin. I licked my lips and raked my teeth over my lower lip. My eyes trailed down to the bulge in his jeans. I closed my eyes and swallowed hard. He pushed his hand through his hair, pulling my attention back to his inked bicep, and slowly unraveled any last ounce of resistance I had left in my body. I wanted him to fuck me. I wanted it so badly, more than anything I'd ever wanted in my life.

I threw off the remainder of my bra and wiggled out of my shorts leaving my hot pink lace panties on for further tease appeal. He leaned forward like he was about to reach for me but I planted my palms flat against his chest, in a signal to wait. The warmth of his skin permeated my palms and my fingers splayed with anticipation across his tight pecs. My fingers jittered, then stilled. I looked up into his eyes, then lightly trailed my fingers down his chest, his abdomen, stopping my tactile exploration at his belt buckle, as I lowered myself to my knees.

His jeans came off, boxers and all and his hard cock sprang free, a magnificent piece of artwork of the male body. I circled my hand around it and stroked his flesh while cupping his balls. He hissed and tossed his head back. I wrapped my warm wet lips around his engorged manhood and sucked. I squeezed his balls, sucking and stroking. He put his hand gently on my shoulders, then grabbed my hair and tousled his hands in it, guiding it, moaning with delight. He gently pushed my head back to release his cock and smiled down at me. "Ladies come first." He lifted me by my arms and guided me to the bed.

Laying me gently down on its softness, he kissed my stomach right above my panties then enjoyed the tease as he pulled them down over the curves of my hips. Now all of my nakedness was totally in his view and I could hear his excited breathing.

For a very long time, his warm hands moved along my thighs, tracing up and down, and each time he strayed towards my wetness, I moaned louder and louder. I couldn't help it I had wanted him to touch me like this, since that first night on the beach. He sucked my nipples using his other hand to guide each one, budded with pinkness into his mouth and gave equal attention to both.

His mouth slid down my rib cage, down my stomach and to my mound. I gasped flushed with anticipation. Using His fingers he parted my folds and flicked his tongue on my pulsing clit. I bucked against his mouth wanting more.

He licked and fingered me, building the intensity. I tensed and he fucked me with his fingers, as my orgasm took reign over my body, building, climbing, and accelerating nearly to the exploding point. I looked down and the second I saw his head moving between my legs pleasuring me so erotically, I wailed and my orgasm came with a sharp edge to it, crashing and shattering me to pieces.

He rose up to his knees, stroking his cock, priming it for action. I saw in him and intensity so great, a desire so wild that I thought I couldn't take any more. He leaned over to the bed stand and ripped open a small foil packet. A moment later, he slid into me, filling me. Delicious tingles of pleasure rocketing through my entire body. He groaned, and panted with the satisfaction of finding his destiny. His rhythm picked up, with each thrust and I moaned louder and louder, my body bucking and writhing in response. I pulled my legs up, bending my knees to offer him the deepest penetration. I longed to please him completely. I felt the pull again. I couldn't believe it. He was making me come a second time. Then feeling as if I had been transported, I was out of my mind, out of my body with sexual pleasure.

Repeatedly screaming out his name and God's, in gasping breaths, I dug my fingers into his flesh frantically positioning him where I needed for the second orgasm. The wave of tension rose then broke, and I was taken with such ferocity that it resembled convulsions. He growled and released deep inside of me, shaking and trembling as his hot breath fell in steamy puffs on my neck. Collapsing onto me he exhaled a final long audible breath and rolled to the side, waiting for our breathing to regulate.

He leaned over and stroked my hair and looked into my eyes. "Baby, that was amazing. You are amazing. You are everything I've ever wanted."

I tried to swallow the heavy knot forming in my throat. Uncontrollable tears threatened my eyes.

"Hey, now. What's this?" he asked. His voice turned soft as he leaned up on his elbow and touched the tears now springing from my eyes. "No crying allowed when you're in Jesse's arms." He kissed my cheek and brushed away the wetness with his thumb.

I gave a short laugh feeling ridiculous for being so emotional. "Don't worry, they are tears of joy. That was so intense just now. You shook me to my core. I don't usually trust someone, well guys that is, so easily. But with you Jesse, I feel safe, like I can trust you with my heart. You've opened up something in me that has been closed for a long time and it just hit me really hard right now. That's why the tears." I smiled and looked up into his eyes with a long deserved happiness and I was convinced that I saw the same returned in his look.

The slant of the afternoon sun had moved the shadows on the wall. I had totally blown off my classes for the day and school work had completely left my mind but now a glint of guilt stung at me and despite the fact that we both could have easily lingered in the throes of love making all day, we decided to get up.

I put my clothes back on while Jesse stepped into the adjoining bathroom. I sat on the edge of the bed, dressing and gazed around at the moving boxes he had started packing, grateful I had gotten to him in time. My eyes stopped on what appeared to be old books and memorabilia that his uncle stored in this room before it became Jesse's bedroom. The fact that his uncle had not completely removed his belongings was a sharp reminder that Jesse's stay here in California was only intended to be for a couple months.

There on the wooden bookshelf, wedged between a small family Bible and another book was what looked like a worn green photo album. The thought of discovering old photographs of Jesse as a child piqued my interest so I reached for the album.

I sat back down on the edge of the bed and gingerly opened the album, careful of its dried plastic page covers, now brittle and yellowed on the edges with age. I smiled as I turned page after page, of old photographs recognizing some with a much younger and quite handsome version of Uncle Kenny. There was picture after picture of smiling faces, arms around shoulders, family vacations and kids on dirt bikes in what I assumed was New York State somewhere.

Jesse walked out of the bathroom and seeing me with the album rolled his eyes with a groan. I was dying to have him confirm my notion that the one I had my finger on was him and his mother. He was cute as a child, such a sweet and innocent face looking out at the camera. I couldn't wait to rib him about being "mama's little man". Guys hated this kind of stuff. Girls loved it.

"Who's this?" I pointed to a photo of a little boy standing in front of a calm lake, wearing jeans and a t-shirt. He was holding a fishing pole, with a tiny fish on the end, and had a big smile. Jesse walked over and stood in front of me examining the page.

"Ha. That's me as a kid."

"Aww. You were so cute."

"Look how small that fish is." I leaned in for a closer look.

"What fish? I don't see a fish."

"Right there." He pointed to a tiny fish dangling on the end of the line, about the size of a minnow. His finger moved to another photo. "Look, here's a picture of my 65cc bike. That was such a cool bike. Jimmy and I made our own dirt race track on our property. Man, we had a blast."

"Is this your mom?" I traced my finger across a woman's plastic, covered face. The photo, a professionally taken headshot of a smiling woman with long flowing hair, was marred and dingy, as if at one time it had been rescued from the bottom of a trash can. It had a crack that had once been a fold, whose sharp creased edges had curled up over years with dryness, curving up and separating the surface of the photo into a tiny crevice that ran diagonally across the lower portion of the photo straight through his mother's heart.

"Yea." His voice softened and he stared at the page like he recognized something familiar in the curve of her smile.

"She's very pretty. I can see you have her smile."

Then he opened his mouth and the hurt that came out astounded me.

"She...tried to commit suicide, took a bunch of pills. She never got over my dad's death. She had been sick for a long time."

"How did your father die?"

"A car accident. I was only eight at the time. That's when my uncle came to live with us for a while. He's the one who taught me and Jimmy how to ride."

The weight of his story sat heavily on my shoulders. I felt my body sink into the bed a little more as his face sunk with grief.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring up sad memories."

"It's okay. It's just...I felt that if I could have been there for my mom it wouldn't have happened. I was too busy racing. It all happened so fast. One day she was fine and then next, she overdosed on the medicine for depression, clearly it was a suicide attempt. It's my fault. If I had been there she wouldn't have done it."

"No it's not your fault, Jesse. People don't do this kind of thing out of nowhere. There must be an underlying reason. A person can't watch over someone twenty four-seven. Don't blame yourself."

"But you don't understand, after my dad died and my uncle left, she became much worse, she became clinical depressed. Jimmy sort of took over and became the man of the family, helped me and my mom. My brother and I swore that we would never abandon her like the other men in her life."

"That's a lot of responsibility to put on a child, I mean how old were you when your uncle left? Ten? Did she ever see a therapist and get help?"

"Yea that's when she got some pills and it seemed like she got a lot better, at least for several years, It wasn't until I left and started touring and racing all over the world. If I had stayed put she wouldn't have tried to end her life."