"Thanks. You look like hell yourself." I snapped back.

He pursed his lips and took a sip of coffee. "I'm gonna ignore that remark."

"Sorry, I'm a dickhead." I winced as another hangover hammer blow exploded inside of my head. "Do you have some aspirin?" I asked through squinted eyes.

"I should just let you suffer, you little son of a bitch, teach you a lesson. But yea, I'll get you some." He turned to open a cupboard near the sink. "Listen Jess, we need to talk."

Aw, shit. He wants to talk. What's to talk about? I'm an asshole end of story. But I complied and planted my ass on the big overstuffed chair next to the brown leather couch in the family room.

"Here." He extended his hand, palm up with three pills. I swallowed them down with a mouthful of coffee.

"Jesse, I'm not one for beating around the bush, so let's cut to the chase. You have been fucking up, man, drinking too much and ditching work. I don't like it and it has to stop."

My uncle was a man of few words when it came to getting something off his chest. He placed his cup on the coffee table in front of us, in a definitive gesture. He leaned back and folded his arms across his chest. I just sat and listened hoping like hell the pounding in my head would ease up.

"I know you like that girl, Niki and I know she broke it off with you because of what happened at the bar with Chase. Yes, you were helping a friend, but you can't solve all your problems with booze and violence. Women don't go for that shit."

"Tuff shit. I am who I am. Too late for me to change that." I leaned forward with my elbows on my knees, holding the coffee mug between both hands.

"You've got too much negative energy in you right now. You need to grow that shit the fuck out of you. Getting drunk doesn't solve anything; it just defeats your goals. If you want Niki back, you are going to have to change, you will need to show her that you have changed. " Kenny said.

I hung my head and listened. I didn't know what to say, he was right, this was all about Niki. I just wanted Niki back in my life, and not pissed at me for being a dickhead.

"Why do you keep doing this, acting like a fool? You never used to be this way. I used to be so proud of you. Hell, you had a great career. Winning races and shit. I taught you how to ride and you made me so proud. Everything was going good in your life. Now you just let it all go to shit. What's going on inside your head?"

I flung myself back against the couch and stared at the ceiling, fighting the urge to just zone out and withdraw. Putting my feelings out in the open, on the line, was damn uncomfortable for me. "Thing haven't been going well..." I mumbled. God, that sounded like some weak ass excuse.

"I thought you were over all this...this drinking and recklessness once you came here, but now....I don't know Jesse. I don't know." He shook his head sadly. I felt like a jackass. I had let him down. "You've got to get your shit together. You have to be responsible for your own actions."

"I, I..." I blew out a long breath and got up the nerve to spit it out. It was painful, all this soul searching shit. It may be all well and good for pussies, but it's not my style. Glancing at him, I knew I had to explain. I drew in a breath and paused for a second. "I just want Niki back, That's all. That's what makes me act all crazy like and go ballistic."

He pursed his lips and nodded solemnly. His features softened as a glint of recognition appeared in his eyes. "I see. So, you think she might be the one? She's that special?"

"She's a fucking angel." I threw my hands out to the sides. "I get all high and shit whenever she's around and I can't stop grinning like a stupid cheshire cat."

"Hmm. You feel light and happy when she's around?"

I nodded. He had a twinkle in his eye as he talked and I saw a hint of a smile tug at the corner of his mouth.

"Like you can't think of anything else when she walks in the room? Like you can't breathe without her?"

"Yea, yea. That's exactly it. How did you know?" My uncle was the goddamn Albert Einstein of love.

"Yup, sounds like you've got it pretty bad for her."

"But she won't even talk to me. What do I do now?"

"First of all, going on drinking binges doesn't work. Cut down on your drinking, control your anger, and show Niki that you've changed. I'm not saying you have to stop drinking completely, but Christ almighty boy, you don't have to make it a way of life. Give her a little time to cool off and I think she'll come around once she sees the old Jesse, the real Jesse. The Jesse that I know."

Well, what the goddamn hell. How about that.

I slapped my hands on my thighs. "Kenny, you da man." I leaned over and raised my fist for a "fist bump". The answer was right in front of my nose and I didn't even see it. I jumped to my feet, my head still pounding a little from my hangover. "Kenny, I think you are right. I'm gonna go win her trust back. I don't have a damn clue as to how, but I' gonna do it."

I stepped a little lighter as I retreated to my strategic planning room, AKA my bedroom. The dark gray storm cloud that had been raining on my parade finally lifted and I was stoked.

Chapter Twenty.

Niki "You're moping. Stop picking at your sandwich." Kat scolded and shoved the large half of a turkey and avocado on sourdough into her petite mouth. Kat was joining me at my favorite sandwich shop on my break between my fashion design classes. Right outside this very shop, Jesse had brought me the ice cream cone study break treat. Where he first showed up, unannounced, to "stalk" me, then smashed his cell phone as an excuse for being at the mall.

Most of my sandwich sat untouched on my plate. I teased half a red tomato slice out from between the slices of bread, lifted it to my lips then let it drop onto the plate.

"I don't even want this." I sighed and wiped my fingers on the napkin, then rested my chin in my hand. Why the hell was I so drawn to Jesse?

"Have you heard from him today?"

"Is the Pope Catholic? Of course, he's begging to see me. He texts me day and night, well he backed off for a while, but now he got his second wind." I pushed the plate away. Kat set her sandwich down, her fingers still wrapped around it, a sure sign that a lecture was about to ensue. She stared me in the eyes with one of her serious big sister looks and leaned forward.

"I totally don't understand you Niki. Give the guy another chance. He was defending Chase. We've been over this before and...I've seen how he looks at you. God, it's like your shit don't stink girl." She laughed.

I broke a smile at Kat's attempt to sway me, but...if I went back to Jesse wouldn't I just be igniting the path to my own destruction? "Oh, Kat. Guess who sent me a message last night." Her eyes went blank. She'd never guess so I blurted it out. "Hot guy from Vegas." Her eyes widened.

"Shut up. You mean Trevor? What's he want?"

"He wants me to go out with him."

"I thought he lived in San Francisco." She sipped on the straw in her drink.

"He's in town on business or something."

"You're not seriously thinking of going out with him, are you?"

I sat up straight and I jutted my chin out defiantly. "I am."

She slumped back down in her chair and took another sip, "You're sick. I can't believe you would even waste your time," she said in an even voice.

"I can do what I want; besides, I need to get my mind of Jesse." I said indignantly. "Trevor will be like a test. He will be my litmus paper. I'll go on a date with Trevor and see how it compares to when I'm with Jesse." I felt damn proud of myself for creating this idea.

Kat crumpled up her paper napkin and threw it on her empty plate. "Whatever. Do what you feel you need to do." She stood up, leaned over the table and took one last sip on her straw, then gave me a hug. "You know I love you. I gotta go. I have a rehearsal in about....fifteen minutes ago." Holding her large Coach purse in the crook of her arm, she flung her trash into the garbage and pushed the door open with her backside.

I fished my cellphone out of my purse and opened the text message from Trevor that had been waiting. I responded that I would love to get together. What harm could it do? I told myself. I justified that it would get my mind off of Jesse and help me think clearly. Jesse was blinding me. He was exciting. He was dangerous. And I had decided to steer clear of him for my own good.

Thursday night rolled around and I was ready to put my plan into action. The restaurant was nice and expensive. I wanted to meet Trevor there but he had insisted on picking me up in his rental Mercedes. I didn't even know you could rent a Mercedes. As the waitress seated us, I moved clumsily first in front of him, then moved aside, saying excuse me, and tried to get in my chair gracefully. I felt stiff and out of my element. But despite some initial awkwardness, the evening got off to a good start. Or so I told myself as I sat across from him wringing my hands under the table.

"Good to see you again, Niki." He jangled the ice in his scotch on the rocks and drained it. "What have you been up to down here in So Cal, the land of the crazies?"

"Um, wow, nothing much, just mingling with the other crazies here. But tell me, what is wrong with Southern California? Do all you people from up north act like this part of the state is a foreign country?"

"It may as well be." He pointed out self-righteously. "You all talk weird, like, you know, like, like, like. And everyone is so vain. The women are so fake, with all their hair extensions and everyone wants to look younger than they are. Jesus Christ they dress like sluts and the guys all think they're surfer dudes." The waitress placed another scotch on the table. I sipped my wine. Things were going splendidly.

I chewed on the celery stick from my salad, bearing down hard trying to grind out the bitter taste forming in my mouth.

"Excuse me. I need to use the Ladies room."

"Sure sweetheart. Hurry back." He downed his third scotch slammed it on the table, pushed his chair back and half stood up as I turned to find the restrooms. I walked away feeling his stare burn a hole in my backside, sure that he was getting an eyeful of my ass. I pushed into the ladies room and leaned up against the wall. What the hell was I thinking agreeing to go out with this idiot? The thought of climbing out the bathroom window occurred to me, expect this restroom didn't have one. I decided to suck it up and try to politely make it through dinner then bail.

I came out of the restroom and gave a tug on the hem of my short skirt. I hoisted my purse over my shoulder and looked up to find a searing pair of blue eyes. My heart jumped.

"Jesse! What are you doing here?" I hissed. He was leaning on the bar with a Jack Daniels, neat. I scowled and leaned close so Trevor wouldn't hear, though he was halfway across the main dining area.

"Hey Niki. Nice to see you too."

"Are you stalking me? Again? How dare you. That's so wrong. I'm on a date. How did you know I was here?" I asked through clenched teeth.

"Who's to judge what's wrong or right? Maybe I am stalking you. I have been known to be guilty of it before. " He leaned casually on the bar. A playful smirk turning up the corner of his mouth.

"Kat told you I was here, didn't she?" I glared at Jesse realizing that the moment I had laid eyes upon him, my desire for wanting him ricocheted through my veins. I should be mad at him, I wanted to be mad at him, but deep down inside I was thrilled that he was there. "I'm gonna punch her in the arm next time I see her, the little snitch."

"Hey look Niki. What are you doing here with that dufus over there?" He set his drink down on the bar and slid off the bar stool to stand next to me, so close that I could feel the heat emanating from his body. He pierced me with his gaze. The intensity and truthfulness of his stare rendered me helpless.

"Just tell me why you are here, Jesse?"

"Don't you see? I came because I need you. I came to beg for your forgiveness. I had a talk with my uncle and I realized something. I know I scared you and I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have gone all ape shit on that guy." He leaned in even closer and I could feel his emotions filtering through his eyes. "Please, Niki. I'm gonna turn over a new leaf. I'll do anything to have you back in my life. Come back to me."

The sincerity in his voice melted me even more. I looked down silently at the granite bar top, white knuckles gripping on the strap of my purse, holding on like it was the sole tether to my sanity. Fearful that if I gave in, and let go, I might be slipping away into an unpredictable world with Jesse. I threw a nervous glance back over my shoulder. Trevor was still waiting at the table. I wasn't sure if he could see me.

"Actually, I'm glad you showed up. Things weren't going so well with Trevor over there." I pointed with my eyes.

"I'm here now." He slid his hand over my forearm, his touch ran smooth and warm across my skin. I sighed. With his head bent down close to mine, his intoxicating musky scent swayed me even more. I closed my eyes and whispered, "Can you take me home?"

"Of course. Let's get you out of here. Go tell him you changed your mind and let's leave. Or do you want me to tell him?" He stroked my arm, the breath of his words fluttering in my ear.

"No, I'll tell him. Just give me a minute." I pulled away and walked over to Trevor's table. He was on his phone texting hardly even noticing me coming back.

"There you are. I thought you had gotten stuck in the toilet." He chuckled.

I managed a faint smile. "Sorry Trevor, I gotta take off. I'm not feeling so well. Thank you so much for the dinner...and I'm really sorry."

"Wow!" He looked at me up and down. "Can't you at least wait until I'm done eating and I will take you home?"

"Don't worry. Stay and finish. I can't get myself home. Bye." I turned and walked towards the exit.

Chapter Twenty-One.

Jesse The guy Niki had ditched came up behind us as I was holding her hand waiting for the valet. "What the fuck is going on here? Who is this dude?" he said in a gruff voice.

"Take it easy, man. My friend is not feeling well so I am taking her home. Just go back to your dinner," I said. The dude started walking back but stopped at the entrance, turned and yelled holding the door open.

"Bitch, really? You're leaving with another guy?"

Niki's eyes got all wide and her mouth fell open but before we had a chance to respond, he launched another insult.

"You're nothing but a cunt and a cock-tease!"

My car was here and I was about to enter when his words froze me in my tracks. "What did you say, muther fucker?"

"I said your girlfriend is a fucking cunt."

I turned to Niki and spoke as calmly as possible. My blood was boiling in my veins. "Excuse me, can you wait right here for a second?"

"Ignore him, Jesse. Just take me home."

I was already halfway back towards the entrance facing the dude, "I thought that was what you said." My breath was coming quickly now. "But you know what? I totally forgot something." I was now close enough to the guy, I could see sweat pearls on his forehead.

"Yea, what did you forget?"

"I forgot this!" I wounded up my fist and without warning I launched it, square on his jaw. I leaned down as he hit the ground and shouted in his face, "That's no way to speak to a lady. Learn some fucking manners, asshole."

I left the dude groaning into the pavement and turned back towards Niki, but she was gone. I ran to the corner but she had vanished like a fucking magician. I grabbed my head with both of my hands. "Fu-u-ck!"

Niki "What the hell happened last night?" Kat popped out of the bathroom and padded down the hall to the kitchen in her pink pajama pants. I poured a cup of coffee in her favorite mug and pushed it across the white tile counter in her direction.

"Jesse's an asshole. I don't know why I keep thinking he is worth pursuing. He hasn't changed at all." I slid the half-and-half in her direction and stuck the handle of a spoon out for her to take. "He showed up at my date with Trevor, thanks to you." I wasn't really mad at Kat for tipping him off. My real anger was at myself for being weak and allowing Jesse's charm to pull me in again. "It happened all over again, like deja vu of that Five O Four place when he got in a fight...well, this time he didn't go completely bananas, he just punched the guy. I think."

"Oh my God Niki. You have men fighting over you. That's so cool."

I rolled my eyes. Kat had a unique way of looking at violence.

"Kat, it's the same behavior. He's solving his problems with violence and I just don't know if I can handle a guy like that." I looked down at my coffee and stirred it again with the spoon. "What if I'm his problem one day? Is he gonna go all ape-shit on me?"

"No! Are you crazy? That guy adores you. Why did he go off on Trevor?" She took a seat on the stool and leaned her elbows onto the counter, intent on hearing all the details.

"Everything started a little weird with Trevor...well he was being a jerk actually. Halfway through my date I went to use the restroom. When I came out Jesse was at the bar waiting, or stalking me, thanks to you. Well, I talked to him and..." I exhaled a breath. "God Kat, I really do like him. I don't know what he does but he's got my heart. That why it's so hard. How can you love someone like this, yet hate him at the same time?"