Oh my God. The few butterflies that had already stirred in my stomach just swarmed into a thousand. Walking alone with Jesse on a warm summer night. I wrung my hands and glanced over to Kat playing her guitar by the fire. I let out a breath.

"I'd love to. Let's grab a beer from my cooler to take with." Agreeing to go with him came so easily to my lips. I said it so willingly, when still I had Jason to deal with. Jason who had no clue this was happening. Jason who would be blindsided. My stomach constricted. The guilt could have been wrung out of it like a wet sponge. However, undeniably, "the heart wants what the heart wants" and although I felt as if on the cusp of a journey filled with both roses and thorns, I quickly pushed that thought aside.

I scooped the last two bottles from the cooler. Kat gave me a nod and a wink, not breaking the rhythm in her song, still playing and singing softly by the fire. I handed one to Jesse, he twisted off the cap and flipped it into the embers of the fire. I turned to face him, my eyes seeking his for direction.

"Come." He jerked his head to the direction of the open beach. A full moon was forming at the edge of the sky. I followed him willingly into the darkness, my heart pounding. We pushed off in the soft sand, my feet slipping a little out of my sandals as I walked. He slowed down when he saw me shifting my weight, and tripping in the sand ruts.

"Do you wanna walk or do you wanna sit?" He stretched his arm in a sweeping motion, opening out to the expanse of the ocean view before us. "Isn't this fantastic?"

I caught up next to him and laughed. "Yes, I love it."

"Do you know what I see?"

"No, what?" I pulled my long dark hair around to the side with my free hand, as the night breeze whipped it across my face.

"I see a dirt track. I could kick up about a ton of this sand riding my motorcycle up and down this beach and doing donuts in the sand. Woo..." He made a motion in the air like he was holding onto the handlebars and revving the throttle. He was beaming, lost in thoughts of riding. I laughed at his pantomime of a wild ride and he exhaled with a woosh, shaking his head.

"Wow, that's never gonna happen." He stomped his foot and looked down. "Well, who gives a shit anyway?"

Even in the darkness I could see his sadness and the smile faded from his face. He kicked at the sand, walking away, leaning his upper body in a motion for me to follow. I fell in beside him, letting the silence fill the night air. Peering up, sideways into his downturned face I asked, "Why will that never happen?" The way his face dropped stabbed at my heart. Something had hurt him. Or someone? In one moment my problems were gigantic, in the next they seemed miniscule.

"I mean... you are not allowed to ride motorcycles on these beaches. You'd get a ticket. But that wouldn't stop you, would it? So supposing you could get your bike here, why can't you ride your motorcycle on the beach?

He lifted his left hand in the air and wiggled his fingers, splayed them out, then formed a fist. "This." He looked at his hand and dropped his arm to his side. "I injured my hand...and leg in an accident, the last race I was in. It wasn't a clean break, so I needed surgery on both my hand and leg. It's complicated."

"Oh. Isn't it healed by now? I mean it looks fine to me."

He plopped down on the sand and rested his elbows on his bent knees. I followed suite and sat cross legged next to him. I could sense a story was about to erupt. Needles were prickling my skin. I wanted to know his story. I wanted to know everything about him. Our walk had taken us just far enough from the bonfire to be secluded from the others, just enough to tempt fate.

"It's taking longer than I thought. I mean who gets a broken leg or broken hand and it takes this long to heal? I want my hand to have the precision needed to work the clutch. That's on the left handlebar of a bike. I have a little gripping ability, but not enough, it's not tight enough." He looked out at the waves.

"Oh, I see." I said softly. I hadn't realized the severity of it all. I felt like an insensitive fool. "And your leg?"

"The left leg is used to shift the gears. On a bike it's the foot that clicks the shift, up for first gear, then down for the others. That kind of movement takes refined muscle coordination. So you can imagine, it's one thing if a person rides for fun, but someone like me, a racer, needs the precision of these movements to a greater extent."

Impulsively I reached out and took his left hand, stroking it. He locked eyes on me, staring into my face. I could see his frustration.

"Niki, it's not just that I can't make a living racing anymore, it's the thought that I may never be able to ride a bike again that scares me the most. I used to need to feel the freedom of riding. Riding soothed my soul. At first, right after the accident, I did feel lost. I didn't give a damn about anything. I just wanted to exist without responsibility, without faith or friends or warmth. But now, well," he gazed into my eyes. "I have a feeling that good things are happening and everything is going to look much better in the future."

"You're' crazy. I'm sure it will heal just fine." His eyes slipped over my face in the dark until they found my eyes.

"And you're crazy beautiful."

My pulse picked up speed, racing through my body. Touching his hand made me feel secure, warm and special. It started at my toes and filled me all the way up to my smile. He glanced down at my hand stroking his, then back up to my face.

"I didn't mean to...I mean, with my hands..." My head feel so light and dizzy. Suddenly, I was aware of my breathing, aware of his touch, aware of how fatefully close our bodies had come to each other.

"Your hands? They don't offend me. What if I want your hands on me?"

The visual of that made my stomach dropped to my feet. That's exactly what I wanted and I was dying inside. We sat there in the darkness on the beach locked in an intense gaze in what seemed like an eternity of silence. And yet, he didn't withdraw and my skin burned like fire, from the mere touch of his hand.

"I, I...." My words were caught in my throat, I couldn't find enough air on the entire beach to breathe.

He adjusted his position towards me further, taking my hand in both of his. Stroking and kissing, he pressed his lips to my hand, gently rubbing the backside of my hand against his cheek. I knew I should pull my hand away. My emotions were battling against my logic.

"I really want to kiss those lips of yours," he murmured.

My lips were parted, my breath was ragged. All I saw in front of my face were his perfectly kissable lips and he so much as said he wants me to touch him. To hell with Jason and my dad. The desire to be in Jesse's arms, to feel his touch, to kiss his lips, was like an uncontrollable hurricane. I don't think I could have stopped it if I tried. But he could. And he did.

I sat there transfixed, leaning in for the kiss, my lips were right by his, and I could smell the lingering scent of his shave cream, when the look in his eyes shifted. He gently laid my hand down in my lap, leaned back and took his hands away.

"You have a boyfriend." He cocked his head to the side and blinked at me.

The ocean rolled and the crashing sound of water invaded my senses. Dammit, this was an odd quality for a "bad boy". Maybe I had misjudged, but my heart sank. I wanted him to be bad, so I wouldn't have to feel so guilty for what I was about to do to Jason.

I looked down. It was hard to swallow. "I, I don't really...I mean. We broke up." I bobbed my head up and down and pursed my lips. "Yup. we broke up. A day, err, a couple days ago, yea, couple days." He stalled out for a moment. I could see the gears churning in his head. My heart was pounding out of my chest. I felt like an idiot. I thought I saw a look in his eyes. A kind of "I don't give a shit" look.

He leaned in and tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear. He let his fingers trace down my cheek and caught my chin in his hand, tilting my head back. My lips spontaneously parted for him and I felt his warm sweet breath. He pressed his lips to mine and the sandy beach fell from beneath me. My head swirled as he stroked my tongue with his, prodding and teasing. I met his advance full on, submitting to his passion, my blood rushing in my veins, spiking higher and higher with each stroke of his tongue. Dragging my lower lip between his teeth, he gently pulled away. I was caught breathless.

"No boyfriend? That was just a little taste of what we could have. We will see if you still have a boyfriend by tomorrow."

I fell back reeling, intoxicated by his kiss, basking in the magnetic energy that was privately and uniquely ours. An energy that had never existed on the planet until now. A new creation that burst into flames in that single igniting moment.

My back pocket buzzed. What the fuck?

"Do you need to get that? You can. Go ahead." He sat back into his previous position staring out to the horizon over the ocean. I knew who it was. I didn't want to look but it was like seeing an accident on the side of the road. I had to look.

I grabbed my phone, "It's just a text." I'm home. Can't wait to see you. Jason.

The blush that rose to my cheeks was not visible in the darkness, yet I was sure Jesse saw it. And I knew he had seen the text. We were sitting close enough for a kiss so we were close enough for him to see the screen in the darkness.

My face fell. I was at a loss for words. I shut down the screen as fast as possible. I rolled up onto one butt cheek and shoved the stupid thing back in my pocket.

"I suppose we should go back," I mumbled as I scrambled to get up.

"Yea, I suppose..." He stood up and brushed the sand off the seat of his shorts. He placed his hands on my shoulders as I turned to walk away.

"Niki- Before we go back let me just tell you, I'm not stopping until you are mine. You didn't resist the kiss just now. You didn't tell me to leave you alone, so be prepared to be stalked." He smiled and in that smile I saw his determination.

I giggled and flushed.

"We'll see." Destiny had just hit the download button on my life and there was no stopping it. I fixed my eyes on the light of the bonfire in the distance, as we walked the short walk back. My emotions were caught between a rock and a hard place. What the hell was I going to do now? The answer loomed over me like the proverbial elephant in the room, but before I could face it, I needed a good long girl talk session with Kat.

Chapter Fourteen.

Jesse "You told her you are going to stalk her?" Chase asked. "Are you fucking kidding me? I mean, that's really the way to get a girl?" He laughed and threw a wet bar rag hitting me in the face.

"You dickhead. That towel is gross." I threw the towel to the ground. "I'm gonna have to kick your ass tonight."

"Tonight? Sorry, dude, don't have time for any ass kicking. I have a training session at the gym."

Chase picked up a couple water bottles and began tossing them up in the air like a juggler.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Practicing to be a flair bartender."

"You mean, a gay bartender. What are you gonna do? Join the freaking circus?"

"No asshole, a flair bartender. I want to be good enough to work in Vegas as a bartender."

"No way. You're shittin me."

"I even invented my own speciality drink."

"What's it called? Chase's Pussy Drink?" I laughed. "Is it a little pink drink to attract all the girls?"

"Jackass." His face went deadpan. "It's called Chase's Chaser. It's made with layers of liquor in a martini glass. The bottom layer is red, then yellow and blue on top. The final touch is that I light it on fire just before I serve it to the ladies and they love it. I can even breathe fire."

"I hope that gets you far in life." I was yanking his chain.

"As long as it scores some points with the ladies. They eat this shit up." He landed his last bottle on his shoulder and balanced it between his head and shoulder.

"Just keep acting like a panty liner and that's what will get you far with the ladies." He threw a bottle at me. I ducked and laughed. "Hey watch it!" It hit the wall with a bang but luckily didn't bust open.

My uncle probably wouldn't appreciate us dickin around like this in his bar. He was the same cool guy I knew years ago and I wanted him to know I took this serious. He was doing me a solid, putting me up and giving me a job at his bar. Jimmy was right, taking a break from my fucked up life in New York was exactly what I had needed. No longer did I feel like a fucking waste of sperm. Or feel like the only reason I was alive was because my dad forgot to pull out. Ever since I came here to California, I hadn't been drinking much and now that I met Niki life was looking like blue skies ahead.

Niki was beautiful, smart and funny. She was firmly planted in my head now and I sure as hell wanted her to stay there. I was consumed with her. All on my mind was how to have her in my arms against my chest, her soft lips on mine again and.... Oh shit, time to adjust the family jewels. She had that effect on me. But I liked it and I schemed on ways to get to see her again. Damn, I really was acting like a stalker.

"Well, if you think you are going to get Niki, you had better step up your game man, cause...you know about Jason, right?"

"She's gonna dump him. Wait and see. She will send him packing."

"I wouldn't be so sure, dude. Jason's got you beat hands down. Sorry to say, I mean, I don't want to be the bearer of bad news but he's going to be a lawyer, plus he's in with her dad." Chase handed me a cutting board and pointed to a bowl full of lemons that needed slicing. "And you? You have nothing going on right now, except your panty dropping good looks and charisma."

"You are such an ego booster, Chase. I feel like crushing one of your testicles right now and I say that shit with love. Way to be there for me." I raised an eyebrow and tipped my head as I picked up a lemon. He wasn't' making this easy for me. All the more of an indication that Niki, was something really special. I mean if he's sticking up for her this much, she must be dynamite. I grinned from ear to ear.

Chase looked up at the bar clock. "You can take your lunch break first today."

"Great. I have some stuff to do anyway. I'll see you later," I said as I filled the "set up" trays with lemon wedges. I skipped out the door of the bar and hoofed it over to Fourth Street Promenade. I felt a buzzing from my cell. A text. I pulled out my phone and started pounding letters of the alphabet on the screen as I walked.

Now is the time, loverboy Crap. You are sure todays the day?

Yes, yes! Jesus, you are like a lost little boy. I told you a hundred times, today is the day!.

My bad. What if I'm too late?

Lame! Be there or be six feet under. :) The screen went dead. I shoved my cell back in my pocket and pushed my hand through my hair. I pulled up short as I rounded the first stone corner of the sandwich shop next to a cell phone store, on the pedestrian mall. I exhaled and leaned up against the side of the building, tense, waiting, heart pounding. I lifted my sunglasses off my nose for a clearer look. Nothing. Just a million muther fuckers walking around this place. Shit. This wasn't gonna work.

I had come to try to catch Niki on her lunch break from her fashion design classes. Kat had tipped me off, but now I was about to chicken out. What if she didn't want to see me?

I saw her. She's breathtakingly beautiful, walking towards the sandwich shop across the mosaic brick pavement. I didn't want her to notice but my eyes zeroed in on the movement of her tits bouncing as she walked. My eyes had a mind of their own. Her long dark hair flipped in the breeze, caught on the upstroke of her bounce. My mouth was dry. She closed the gap between us. Her head was down with a large bag slung over one shoulder and her eyes hidden behind large sunglasses. Damn. Did she see me? Did she want to see me? I tried to act cool. She was getting closer. I stared in the other direction. She was practically on top of me. She wasn't looking. She didn't see me. She was about to walk right past me.

"Niki!" My voice was a little too loud and she startled.

"Oh Jesus!" She caught her breath. "You scared the shit out of me." She held one hand to her breast and slipped off her sunglasses.

"Excuse me, Miss. Did anyone ever tell you, you look a lot like my first wife?"

She laughed and rolled her eye. I wanted to get lost in those eyes.

"First wife? You've got balls. How many do you plan to have?"

"Well, rumors have been told..." She raised her eyebrows and smirked.

"What are you doing here?" She pulled her chin in and gave me a look. "Are you stalking me? Wait, how did you know I would be here?"

"Just chance." She still looked at me with disbelief.

"Seriously. I came here to um...," I looked up at the sign in front of the cell phone store. "I had to fix my cell phone. Yea." I nodded. She turned slightly and looked at the cell phone store, then turned back to me.

"Oh, what's wrong with your phone?"

I still had my phone in my hand, waving it around as we talked. "It...it's broken."

She nodded, her head bobbing up and down.

"Uh huh...I see. And how is it broken?" She narrowed her eyes speculatively at me.

"It has um, a...broken screen. Yea, broken screen." She craned her neck a little to look over at my phone in my hand. I flipped it over so she couldn't see the screen.

"It doesn't look like it has a broken screen." She stared at my phone in my hand and then up to my eyes. "Let me see. Where?" She reached out to touch my phone. I flipped it again, screen side up and held it out in the palm of my hand.

"There. Right there." I pointed to the smooth screen. "There's a crack right there." She leaned over for a closer look, putting her nose down to the phone.

"You're crazy. I don't see any crack in the screen." She straightened up.

I held the phone, screen side out and smashed it up against the stone side of the building, then laid out my palm with it. Her mouth dropped open and her eyes got wide as saucers. "See? There's the crack."

"Oh my God! Jesse, you are fucking crazy! You just broke your phone." Her voice squeaked and she laughed at the same time.