"Trust me. You are not alone in that department." I glanced over at Kat with a crocked smile.

"What," Kat interrupted. "Are you insinuating I can't hold my liquor?

"I was saying no such thing," I lied. "I'm sure you can drink me under the table any day of the week."

"Oh boy, let's not go there." Niki laughed making Kat roll her eyes.

"Hey, so listen," I said. "I gotta get back to my work out here. But how about you two meet up with Chase and me down at the beach tonight for a bonfire?"

Niki opened her mouth to speak but Kat answered for her, "Awesome." She got down from her elliptical machine and placed one hand on my triceps, rubbing it. "It's gotta be more than beer bottles you lift to get this toned, Jesse. I can't wait for tonight."

Kat's flirtations were becoming an annoyance, like a pesky fly that won't leave you alone. Just like last night I hardly had a chance to talk to Niki. I wanted to get to know everything about her. I wanted to pull her long dark hair down out of that twitching ponytail. Watch it fall down over her bare shoulders.

This was all new territory for me. It was pretty obvious last night that Kat wanted to hook up and normally, I would have gone all the way with a girl like her. But not last night. Last night it was all Niki. I couldn't get my fucking eyes off her. I didn't want to get tempted and mess things up by getting drunk and do something stupid with Kat. That's why I called a cab for them. A one night stand with her roommate would have fucked up any chance of getting closer to Niki. For once I didn't just want a girl for her tits and ass...Well, who the fuck was I kidding, I always wanted tits and ass, but there was something about Niki that made her special, a kind of gentleness in her eyes. I couldn't explain it but last night I just knew right then and there I had to have her. The stupid old cliche "struck by lightning" was making perfect sense. Only bump in the road would be getting her to ditch that damn boyfriend.

"Text me the location later. Is the bonfire going to be at Santa Monica?" Kat asked.

"No, actually, it's a private beach at Malibu."

"Well, whatever, just text me where it's at," Kat said.

"Sure. And Niki..." She stopped her movement on the machine and turned her head. "I'll see you later," I said with a smile.

My heart almost skipped another beat as she smiled back. Yes, this one was almost already in the bag.

Kat interrupted my lusty fantasy with her non-stop chatter, not missing a beat. "Later Jesse. Text me. Can't wait. This is going to be awesome. I'm stoked for a bonfire. How about you Niki? I haven't been to a bonfire in ages, no wait, I think we went last fall with, oh what's his name, you know..."

I walked away grinning from ear to ear and Kat's chatter faded into the noise of the gym.

Chapter Thirteen.

Niki "Niki, will you grab my guitar?"

"I've already got the cooler and chips. I can't carry everything."

Kat sighed, opened the back car door of her Prius and grabbed her tote bag, guitar case and a folding beach chair. We left the car in the paid parking lot near Malibu Cove Beach. The sun was streaking the sky orange and red as we were to meet Jesse, Chase and some other friends for a bonfire. Kat was about to shut the back car door when she shrieked, "Wait, wait, my hoodie. I need it."

I was already ten steps ahead of her with a light weight, folding, aluminum beach chair stuck under one arm and a small cooler of beer in the other. I rolled my eyes and huffed. "Come on Princess. Let's go." I was impatient to get there. Jesse would be there and despite my efforts to push him out of my mind, his hard hunky body with his unruly locks of hair falling in his eyes kept invading my solace. What the heck was wrong with me?

Jason had called earlier this morning. Luckily, I was on the elliptical machine at the gym so I had a good excuse to hit the ignore button. And it wasn't until later I returned his call. I chastised myself for not missing him while he was away at his grandma's birthday and my guilt made me nervous about going to this bonfire. Jason would be back in town tonight and although I felt obligated to see him, I had put him off with some lame excuse about having to study. Oh, this was not good. I had managed to keep myself in line for years, be the good girl and behave. Now, some hot motocross rider had come along, with bad boy written all over him, and I gravitated to him like the mythological Homer drawn to the Siren's song. Acting like a teenage groupie obsessed about some rock star.

"Okay, I'm cool now," Kat said breathlessly, as she caught up to me hoisting her guitar case, tote bag and a chair. Stepping off the asphalt parking lot, my feet sunk into the soft sand. It felt good. Familiar and filled with promises of warm summer nights at the beach, cuddled close to someone who makes your heart flutter, stealing a kiss while draped in the seclusive cover of darkness.

We trudged through the deep sand to the attendant and paid our fee for parking and entrance to the private beach area.

"Do you see Jenna or Tanner anywhere?"

"Not yet," Kat said, "But I'm sure they are here already. Jenna had texted me that they came earlier around four o'clock just to get one of the fire pits before they were all taken."

We scuffed our way past couples on blankets, with iced buckets of beer that they had purchased from the Beach Cafe. There was an outdoor patio area attached to the restaurant that opened to the stretch of sand that belonged to the private beach. Food and beverages could be purchased at the Beach Cafe, but we brought our own since the prices of alcoholic drinks were a little steep there.

"There they are." I let the small plastic cooler drop to the ground and waved.

"Where? I can't carry all of this stuff much longer," she whined.

"Right over there to our right. Just follow me."

Kat was struggling with all of her items slung onto her petite frame. We dragged our feet in the sand as we made our way to the group with Jenna and Tanner and dropped our chairs with a clatter into a pile on the sand.

"You are such a wimp, Kat," I laughed as she let go of her chair and it fell on mine.

"I wasn't meant to be a pack animal, you know. I have to be careful of my hands. I don't want to ruin them and not being able to play guitar. That's my living now."

"Hey Kat. Hey Niki." Jenna said walking over holding an amber beer bottle in one hand. "Good to see you two hot chicks." She gave us each a hug. "What's not good for your hands?"

"Strenuous weight lifting," Kat said like we were all idiots for not knowing this.

"Well, come on and set up your chairs by the fire." Jenna laughed. We had been friends for years and she knew how much of a drama queen Kat could be.

I ran my eyes over the figures sitting around the fire pit, searching unobtrusively for Jesse's familiar outline. I unfolded my chair and dug the legs into the sand. Damn, I didn't see him anywhere. I had hoped he would come. Maybe he got side tracked, or held up at work. God, it was like high school all over again, all giddy hoping to see the hot guy in the halls.

"Kat, do you remember back when I first met you, sophomore year in high school?"

Kat plopped down in her chair next to mine. She opened her guitar case and carefully took out her acoustic guitar, sanded and waxed to a honey-yellow finish. Her slender fingers pulled at the strings, as we talked. "Yea Nik, how could I forget? You had just come back to California after boarding school. You were so different then." She glanced back and forth between the guitar head and her fingers, as she tuned the strings.

"I know. I was a mess back then." I pulled a bottle of Corona from my little blue cooler and popped off the top. "Do you think people can change? I mean change for good? Or will they just go back to their old self someday, given enough time?" I took a long draw on my beer.

"Mmm, maybe. It's hard to say. Why?" She paused from tuning and looked straight at me with a changed demeanor. "What's wrong, hun? What's bothering you?"

When needed, Kat could be serious and drop the dumb blonde act, and each time she did, it reminded me why we were such good friends.

"Spill it."

"Jason called earlier. He's on his way back."

"Oh my God, is this about Jason? You need to let that one go. He is such a drag. There are more than one fish in the sea and what you need is lobster baby, the best and tastiest, and not some gray flatfish." She giggled and stopped talking long enough to take the beer I just opened for her. She noticed that I wasn't laughing. "Hey, I don't really mean what I say about Jason...well okay, maybe I do, but it's just that I want the best for you, Niki. You deserve it."

"But he's the kind of guy that every girl wants, steady, good job, prospective future. And my dad love's him. The kind of guy I should want." I stared into the fire. "Something inside of me just keeps resisting."

"You are resisting for a good reason. Besides, you haven't dated him for very long. Just tell your dad, you are old enough to pick your own boyfriend." She turned her focus back to her strings.

"Oh God, he's already pissed at me for moving out. Now this is going to send his blood pressure sky high. Plus he doesn't know my plan of maybe never going to law school. He doesn't even know I've started classes at The Fashion Institute."

"Oh shit. Niki, you're becoming such a rebel. I love this new side of you." Her eyes laughed.

"Yea, but he is going to have a fit when he finds out. He might cut me off all together. Don't be surprised if you see me down there in Hollywood, standing on the street with a cardboard sign next to the homeless people. I'm not cut out for that shit." I was trying to make light of the situation for the moment, knowing my dad's hot temper and controlling attitude. What scared me more than my dad was this desire that was rumbling in the depths of my being. Rumblings, that were awakened the moment I met someone who was a lot like the old me, the uncontrolled, unsanctioned me. I thought I had put away the old rebellions for good, years ago when I came back from boarding school. Now that Pandora's Box had been opened, I was terrified that once let out, part of me would never be contained again.

"Do you think your dad would really do that? Cut you off financially?"

I just shrugged and took another drink of my beer.

"I doubt it. He still feels guilty for all that happened back when mom died. But, what if my dad was right after all. What if the best thing for me is to eventually marry a safe, boring guy?" I looked down and picked at the damp label on my beer bottle, teasing off little shreds and flicking them into the fire. I was worried that I had stirred up past behaviors that could overpower me and ruin my future. Behaviors, I thought had been buried and laid to rest years ago.

"What are you talking about Niki? You don't want a boring life with a lame ass husband."

I slouched back in my chair exasperated. "No, but on the one hand I feel liberated finally doing what I want, yet, on the other hand I feel guilty and nervous about going against dad who is the voice of reason. What am I gonna do Kat? What am I supposed to do?"

In my mind I knew that Jesse was part of the mix, hell he was the catalyst for all of my inner turmoil, but I stopped short of revealing that to Kat. I could feel the tension rising from the depths of my stomach. Just talking about it, giving a voice to my feelings made them seem larger than life. It was nerve wracking and I knew that my excitement about seeing Jesse just added acid to the toxic stew already brewing inside.

Kat stopped strumming the strings on the guitar and reached over to put her arm around me. "Hey hey now, it's all gonna be alright. Don't worry so much about your dad, just sit down and have a heart to heart with him, tell him how you feel and I'm sure you can make him understand. Taking risks is part of life. Part of growing up. Maybe you will fail, but you can't let your fear of that stop you from trying. What would your mom have said if she was here now giving you advice?"

"Probably what you just said." I blew out a long breath and stared into the fire that Jenna's boyfriend had made. I felt the wind blew, and the hairs on my arms prickled and stood up.

"Hello ladies." The low vibrato of a familiar male voice caressed my ears. My pulse quickened and I turned around. Kat was jumping up out of her chair and practically catapulting herself onto Jesse. She squeaked, "Hi Jess," and gave him a hug, holding her guitar by the neck. He was swinging a bottle of beer in one hand and looked delicious in the dark, with the golden glow of the bonfire reflecting on his face. Oh, that uncontrollable hair of his. It hung just right; just enough in his eyes to drive me crazy and just enough to get him to run his hand through it, and push it back. I loved that push. It was a seductive movement that showed the underside of his upper arm, the tender side. It's like saying, "I'm vulnerable now".

I was preparing myself to stand up and give the "hello" hug. Does he know how difficult that will be with wobbly legs? Does he know how much control I'm going to need to keep it at a little hello hug and not jump into his arms? This was exactly what stirred my inner fears, this kind of control he had over me. I stood up and greeted him, forcing myself to keep a lot of air between us as I hugged, when secretly I wanted to take my tongue and run it up his bicep along his sexy hot tattoo.

"Are you alone?" Kat asked. "Here, come sit by me." I feigned acting all casual, but my heart twitched. I wanted him next to me.

"Kat is gonna play her guitar for us. She has a super voice," I said.

"Aww," Kat replied. "Niki is my biggest fan. Actually, I think you are my only fan, Niki" She looked at me laughing.

"That's not true. I have seen you play gigs and the room is always packed," I continued. "She's really good, like good enough for American Idol or something. I think you should audition, Kat. Next time they are in Hollywood. I'm serious."

Jesse stood behind us, one hand shoved in his pocket of his shorts and the other holding his beer, watching me. He hadn't taken Kat's invitation to sit next to her. I felt the heat of a blush rising in my cheeks. This was awkward. He seemed restless, then pointed over to where Chase was standing, talking to friends.

"Chase is over there. I'm gonna go say hi to those guys for a minute." He smiled a beautiful white smile at me, took a sip off his beer, and pierced me with his gaze again. "Be right back," he said to my eyes. He didn't break his stare until the last possible moment before he turned. I felt like someone had a corkscrew and twisted it in my stomach, all the way down, to the area between my legs. This guy was going to be so much trouble for me.

"Wow," Kat went back to plucking the strings of the guitar. "That was really obvious."

"What?" I bit my lip and looked down at my feet.

"Hell, he nearly fucked you with his eyes just now." She let out a short breath with her words. "I mean, Jesus Christ Nik, if you didn't see that you are blind."

I cringed inside and stared down at my beer. A mass of blackness invaded my peripheral field of vision, closing it down like the aperture of a camera lens. I squeezed the neck of the bottle. I saw small shards of amber glass shatter in my hand, the heavy part of the bottom piece fell to the sand. I stood there staring through tunnel vision, at the sharp pieces lying in the palm of my shaking hand. Slowly, I picked up a pointed piece. I turned over my opposite forearm. The sheen of my smooth skin mesmerized me and invited the glass. I saw the point of the glass drag across its surface. It trailed a path of bright red. I thought quite possibly, I might fly away. Looking down at my feet, crimson teardrops spattered the sand below.

"Niki. Hey Niki!" Kat's steady voice pierced my illusion, dissolving the hallucination. My field of vision expanded, and opened back up again. My weight settled in the center of my body.

"Where did you go there? It seemed like you spaced out there for a while," she laughed nervously. "Here, hand me your empty bottle. We don't want it to break and leave glass all over the beach. Someone might step on it and get hurt."

I watched her take the bottle out of my hand.

"Sit down girl. You look like you just saw a ghost." She strummed a soft soothing melody on her guitar.

I looked down at my feet and everything looked right again, the sand looked like it should in the light of the fire. I sat down in my chair and took a deep breath, slowly rubbing the smooth clear skin on my forearm.

"Kat, I, I..." I didn't know what to say. My emotions were splitting me apart. I didn't want to hurt Kat, and I was sliding down a slippery slope with Jesse. I didn't want to face Jason who was on his way home, and I didn't want to disappoint my dad.

"It's okay, Niki." She continued looking at her hands working up and down the guitar. "Don't sweat the load. I know you are crushing on Jesse. Go for him girl. I saw the way he looked at you."

"But, but, argh, I feel like a jerk."

"Nah, sweetie. It's cool. I'm fine with it. I noticed how he eyed you at the gym earlier and I knew it was all over for me and him, right then and there."

"Don't hate me."

"Never, hun. Nothing can ever come between us, especially not some hunky guy. You are every girl's best friend. Come on, let's have a good time and enjoy this beautiful summer night on the beach. Come on baby light my fire..." She started playing the song, and my thoughts turned to Jesse. I wanted to go to him.

I stood up and stretched my legs. "I'm gonna go mingle. Do you mind?"

Kat looked up with a soft smile, "Go find him already."

"Thank you Kat. You're the best."

"Just give me a heads up if you end up going home with him."

I gasped. "No way. I just met him...and you know,...Jason."

I woved my way over to another group of people. As I passed by the fire, Tanner had his arms wrapped around Jenna and they swayed to the soft melody of Kat's guitar. I pushed on past them to another group gathered up near the patio of the cafe, lit up with multi colored lights flanking the beams that held up a gauzy sun canopy. At first I observed him from a distance taking a few moments to admire his stature, to read him unobtrusively. Was he really a disaster just waiting to happen? I tried to take an objective point of view as I observed. He had an athletic solid frame and was tattooed on his right biceps. In him was a generally recognized quality of confidence. Nothing scared him. The way he talked so easily in front of people...he had a fearless self-assurance that set him apart.

He saw me closing the gap between us, and broke away from the group to meet me. My nerves were frayed. My stomach felt like I just hit the first drop on the roller coaster. I stopped and waited for his path to meet mine. I didn't want to join the group he was talking with and have to make a bunch of polite conversation. I wanted to talk to him, just him and no one else.

"Do you always come to these shindigs looking devastatingly beautiful?"

I nearly dropped my beer and was painfully aware that my mouth was hanging open. He smiled a heart stopping pearly white smile and pushed his unruly hair out of his eyes. Damn, he was fine. I was frozen, speechless. I knew I had to say something but my mouth was as dry as the Sahara.

"Hi," I managed to crackle out. Oh, that sounded really smooth. My greeting sounded like a chicken cackle. I cleared my throat, ducked my head down and blushed in the dark. "Let's try that again, Hi Jesse." I laughed. He did too and I was glad to see that my blunder amused him.

"Enjoying the bonfire?"

"Yea, it's really beautiful here at night in the summer. I love going to the beach. It was one of the things I probably missed the most when I lived in New York." I tried not to stare at him. I looked down at my feet and kicked at the sand.

"Wait, what? You lived in New York? I'm from New York, well upstate New York. When did you live there?"

My eyes looked up to his chest, the t-shirt he wore stretched tight across its expansiveness. My eyes tracked the ripple of muscles shifting under the fabric as he tilted his beer bottle to catch the last few drops.

"Oh, a long time ago, before high school. I went to a boarding school there." I locked my gaze down at a small mound of sand I was raking to the side with my foot. When I tilted my head back up, he had a perplexed look on his face. He shot a glance over to the fire and back.

"Would you like to go for a walk on the beach?"