Ellen pulled Jody into her arms. "Please. Don't cry."

"I'm sorry," Jody whispered. "I'm supposed to be comforting you.

"You are. Come on, let's talk about something else. There's no need for us to get ourselves all worked up over this. There's nothing we can do."

Jody grabbed a tissue from the box on the bedside table. "That makes it harder. There's no way I can fix it for you."

"Your being here has helped," Ellen said. "I know Mom loves me, but there are so many things I can't tell her. She's already scared out of her wits."

Jody felt tears drip down onto her shoulder. She tightened her arms around Ellen.

"Let's talk about something else," Ellen said as she released Jody and sat up. She dried her face with her palms. "Speaking of Mom, she seems to be coming around to our side a little."

Jody's eyebrows went up. "Really."

Ellen crawled out of bed and began to undress.

"She actually spoke your name tonight, and there were no curse words on either side. I think she's missing you."

Jody felt a glimmer of hope spark inside her. "Then indeed, we are making progress. I miss her, too."

Ellen turned with her slacks draped over her arm. "I need to ask a favor."

"Sure. Anything."

"Thursday. No matter what happens, take care of Mom. You're so strong. I know you'll be all right. I'm worried about Mom. She's all alone."

Jody nodded. "I'll do what I can, but don't underestimate Denise. She could very well be stronger than both of us. She has been through a lot. You may not know this, but when your dad left, he didn't just walk out leaving you and Denise. He walked out leaving her with a mountain of debt and no job."

"I know. And I know it was you who bailed us out," Ellen said.

Jody flinched. The statement meant to show appreciation had only served to remind Jody of the age difference and the almost incestuous nature of their relationship.

"Does it ever feel strange to you?" Jody asked.

"What?" Ellen placed her slacks over the back of a chair.

"Us." Jody went to the bathroom to brush her teeth. "I mean, you're almost like a niece to me," she said as she walked back in the bedroom holding her toothbrush.

Ellen turned and stomped her foot. "Don't you dare try to weasel out of this with that lame excuse."

Surprised at the sudden burst of anger, Jody stopped brushing and turned to stare at Ellen. "What did I do?"

"If you want out of this relationship, at least have the guts to say so. Don't try falling back on that 'oh, I'm so much older,' or 'oh, she's Denise's daughter' bull."

"I don't want out," Jody sputtered.

"Then stop asking those stupid questions. You're not my aunt. You're my lover, my partner, my whatever, but you're not my aunt."

Jody held up her hands in surrender. "Okay, okay." She slunk back to the bathroom to finish brushing her teeth. As she put away her toothbrush, she glanced into the mirror and smiled. Ellen might not be Jody's niece, but the spitfire was sure Denise's daughter.

Chapter Twenty-Five.

On the day of the surgery, Jody and Ellen were both wide awake long before the sun came up. They lay in bed and cuddled while they discussed Jody's plans for the remainder of her backyard. As they talked, Ellen occasionally offered a suggestion. By the time the alarm rang, Jody's backyard had evolved into Jody and Ellen's backyard.

Without speaking the actual words, they had reached a subtle understanding that Ellen was now a permanent resident.

After the surgery, she wouldn't move back to the hotel, and she wouldn't need to search for a place of her own.

"Do you want Denise to ride with us to the hospital?" Jody asked as they dressed.

"No. Beth is going to drive her."

Jody tried to ignore the stab of jealousy that hit her each time Ellen mentioned Beth's name. "I'm going to go check on my roses."

"Can I come with you?"

Jody realized Ellen was nervous and didn't want to be alone. "Sure, but you might want to put some pants on first," Jody said and pointed to Ellen's slacks lying on the bed.

Ellen grabbed the slacks and struggled into them as she followed Jody.

As they walked through the kitchen, Jody looked at the coffeepot with longing. The doctor had told Ellen to fast the morning of the surgery and Jody hadn't made coffee out of respect for her. At the moment, she would have gladly handed over ten dollars for a cup.

The sun had barely cleared the eastern horizon when Jody went out. They went from bush to bush, checking each plant.

"Look. Belinda's Dream is about to bloom," Ellen cried out.

Jody examined the plant. Several of the buds were indeed showing thin streaks of pink. "It'll be a few more days before they burst open."

"It's a sign," Ellen said in a soft voice.

Jody looked at her and frowned. "A sign?"

"I told you. I was always safe as long as Belinda was around. The shadow demons disappeared from the walls. The huge scratchy claws of the ash tree outside my window stopped trying to dig their way in to grab me. All the monsters went away as soon as Belinda appeared."

Jody gazed down at the plant. If that's all it would take to keep you safe, I'd fill the yard with them, she thought. She glanced at her watch and her heart began a slow hollow pounding.

"It's time to leave."

Ellen had to be at the hospital early for the last-minute tests and to allow for her prep time.

"I'll get my purse," Ellen said as she again touched the leaves of the rosebush.

"I'll get it," Jody offered, but Ellen shook her head.

Jody walked through the house turning off lights and locking doors. Everything she touched felt cold and foreign. She glanced out the kitchen window as she slipped the chain on the back door. The rose garden looked fresh and crisp. She stared at the hardy little rosebush known as Belinda's Dream.

Belinda, she whispered. If you're still around, keep my love safe. And G.o.d, if you're listening, I sure hope you can overlook my past transgressions. Mom and. Pop always told me you would be there when I needed you most. I sure need you now.

The drive to the hospital was the longest Jody could ever remember. People were beginning to stir. They were going on with their normal everyday lives. How could it be possible she was so miserable while the rest of the world was clicking along at its regular pace?

Jody offered to drop Ellen at the hospital entrance, but she said she preferred to walk in with Jody. After finding a parking s.p.a.ce, Jody took Ellen's small suitcase out of the trunk and together they walked across the asphalt-covered lot. As they approached the hospital, Jody stopped and placed a hand on Ellen's arm.

"I want you to know I love you. I'll be here waiting for you."

Ellen kissed Jody's cheek. "I love you too and I intend to keep you around until you're a decrepit old woman."

Jody chuckled and said as she put her arm around Ellen and started walking, "That time may be closer than you think."

"That's true," Ellen said, shocking Jody. "I noticed you didn't make love to me last night or this morning." She tossed her head as the automatic doors to the hospital slid open. "I guess you didn't have the stamina."

Jody snorted, trying to hide the fear threatening to overwhelm her. She had thought about making love to Ellen the night before, but along with the thought came a simultaneous one that it could be the last time they ever made love, and she hadn't been able to do more than hold her. "You wait until you're out of here and well enough to handle it. I'll show you stamina," Jody said.

"Promises, promises, promises."

"Ellen."

They looked up to see Denise and Beth walking toward them.

Ellen turned to Jody. "I love you, Jody Scott."

Jody saw her own fear reflected in Ellen's eyes.

Denise and Beth descended on them before Jody could respond. Ellen gave Denise a long hug before turning to pat Beth's arm. "I have to check in. I'm not sure how long it will take. Find yourselves a place to sit, and I'll join you when I can."

Jody started to sit down, but Ellen grabbed her hand. "Come with me."

"Why does she get to go with you?" Beth protested.

"Because I want her to," Ellen replied. "Beth, I told you last night. You're free to stay in San Antonio as long as you like, but there's nothing between us anymore and there never will be."

"But I want to take care of you," Beth said.

"I don't need taking care of." Ellen stopped and held up her hand. "Beth, I don't want to end things between us like this. Please try to understand. I'm in love with Jody. I want to be with Jody."

Beth began to cry and Ellen's shoulders dropped.

Jody could have kissed Denise when she stepped forward and gave Ellen a quick hug and said, "You two go on. I'll take care of this."

Jody and Ellen walked away.

"I didn't want to hurt her," Ellen said, as she pulled a piece of paper from her purse.

"Stop thinking about her. You have enough to worry about without adding her to the pot."

"This is where I need to go," Ellen said, checking the paper in her hand. They walked into a small waiting room. Jody took a seat as Ellen went to talk to the young woman behind the counter.

Jody tried to control the slight tremors that were beginning to race through her body. She was getting a headache. Probably from the lack of caffeine. There were a dozen things she wished she had told Ellen the night before. Why hadn't she taken the time?

"She said it would only be a minute. They're going to do some tests. There's a room outside the pre-op area for family and friends. Someone's going to come for us. After I go in would you please go back and tell Mom and Beth?"

"Sure. I don't want you worrying about anything."

Ellen glanced at her. "Actually, worrying about Mom helps me keep my mind occupied."

"Then, I'll go and punch Beth out."

Ellen whipped around. "What?" she asked so loudly the young woman behind the counter looked up.

Embarra.s.sed, Jody shrugged. "I was just trying to give you something else to worry about."

Ellen rolled her eyes. "You're nuts."

"Ms. Murray, Ellen Murray."

They both froze and stared at the young man who stood in the doorway calling for Ellen.

Without speaking, they rose and followed him out.

"You'll have to wait here," he told Jody and pointed to a waiting room to the left of them. "Someone will come for you as soon as she's prepped." Jody nodded as he continued, "It's going to be a while, so you may want to go get some coffee or something. There's a small coffee shop at the end of the hall and there's a cafeteria downstairs." He pointed toward the end of hallway.

"I'll be here," Jody said to Ellen. Before they could say anything else, the orderly whisked Ellen away. Jody watched until they disappeared behind a set of double doors.

She walked across the hall and examined the ten-by-twelve waiting room. Green plastic chairs lined the walls and a double row, fastened back-to-back, ran down the center of the room. Even at this early hour, an older Hispanic woman with two teenagers sat in the far corner. Jody was about to sit down when she remembered she had promised to bring Denise and Beth to the waiting room.

Jody took the stairs down to the first floor. She might have promised to get them, but she hadn't promised to hurry.

The look of relief that crossed Denise's pale face when Jody walked into view made Jody regret her pettiness.

"Where is she?" Denise asked as she jumped up and met her.

"They've taken her back for tests and to prep her. There's a waiting room upstairs where we can sit. They'll come and get us as soon as they've finished."

The trio walked to the elevator and rode up without speaking. The silence held for the next hour and a half, when a nurse finally came out and said they could go back.

Ellen lay on a hospital bed separated from about two dozen other beds by nothing more than thin cotton curtains.

As Denise and Beth talked to Ellen, Jody stood at the foot of the bed rubbing Ellen's cold feet through the heavily laundered sheet. All around Jody came the low, urgent murmur of voices. She imagined she could smell the fear and anxiety that raced around the room, or maybe it was her own fear she smelled. Some of these people might die before the day was over. They would kiss loved ones for the last time before being wheeled away.

"Jody, are you all right?"

Jody looked up. The three women stared at her.