"Are you all right?" Ellen asked again and reached for Jody.

"I'm f-f-fine," Jody said and realized she was shaking. "The room is too cold." She forced herself to smile.

Denise removed her suit jacket and handed it to her. "Here, take this. I'm having so many hot flashes today, I could melt the polar icecap."

When Jody hesitated, Denise placed the jacket around Jody's shoulders. The small act of kindness was almost Jody's undoing. She was saved by the sudden appearance of a tiny woman wearing a smock printed with blue and yellow sailboats.

"It's time for La-La Land," she announced as she hung an IV bag on the pole at the head of Ellen's bed. "If I can just scoot in here," she said, brushing by Beth. The woman tore open a small packet and removed an alcohol pad.

Jody looked away as the woman ripped open a large packet and removed an IV needle. Jody concentrated on rubbing Ellen's feet.

"There we go," the woman said. "Now you may start to feel a little groggy. This is just a mild sedative to relax you, but you won't be completely out." Seeing the look of fear on Ellen's face, she stopped and patted her arm. "It's all right." She placed a piece of tape over the IV needle. "You'll be fine. Dr. Wray is one of the best surgeons I've ever worked with." She gathered up the empty wrappers. "An OR nurse will be here in a few minutes. She'll take you back. Good luck." She disappeared through the curtain.

The frightened group huddled inside the thin cotton coc.o.o.n. Jody listened for the footsteps that would take Ellen away.

"Mom," Ellen said in a voice that was already beginning to soften with the drugs being fed into her body.

"Yes, baby?"

"I'd like to be alone with Jody. Can you take Beth to the waiting room?"

Denise hesitated. She clearly did not want to leave, but she nodded. "Sure, honey." She kissed Ellen's cheek. "I'll be right here when you come out."

"Thanks, Mom. I love you."

"I love you, too." Denise started out of the enclosure. "Come on, Beth."

"I'm not leaving," Beth declared, throwing herself across Ellen. "I have every right to stay here. We make the perfect couple. All our friends said so."

Jody had the unkind thought that most of Beth's display of concern was more for dramatic effect rather than concern.

Denise spun around, grabbed Beth's arm and yanked her upright. "You and I are going to the waiting room. Is that understood?"

For a second, Jody thought Beth was going to put up a fight, but something in Denise's face must have convinced her this was a no-win situation.

After they left, Ellen turned to look at Jody. "Come up here."

Jody took Ellen's hand.

"You look kind of disoriented," Ellen said. "Are you going to be all right?"

Jody wanted to shout, "h.e.l.l, no, I'm not all right. I'm scared to death." Instead, she nodded and swallowed before saying, "Don't you worry about me. I'm fine. Just a little cold."

"You're not a very good liar."

Jody blinked rapidly to keep the tears at bay. She was not going to break down and worry Ellen further.

"Come here and kiss me," Ellen said, and pulled Jody closer. "You take care of Mom."

Jody forced a smile and said, "I think your mom can take care of herself."

"Then you take care of yourself. Have you eaten?"

Jody shook her head. "I'm not hungry."

"Go eat. You didn't eat breakfast, and I'll bet Mom hasn't either."

Jody shrugged.

"Don't just sit out there worrying. Promise me you'll get something to eat."

Jody started to protest but saw Ellen needed the rea.s.surance. "I'll get something to eat, and I'll make sure Denise and Beth eat also."

Ellen rewarded her with a beaming smile. "Good. I love you."

"I love you, too." Jody leaned down and kissed her.

"Pull that chair over, so you can sit and talk to me."

After moving the chair over, Jody asked, "What do you want to talk about?"

"Tell me about roses."

Jody tried to remember some of the information she had read or learned from Leti but drew a blank. She was about to say so when a nurse pushed the drapes aside and came in.

"It's time to go," she said as she removed the IV bag from the pole.

She turned to Jody. "You can wait in the OR waiting room. If you'll follow us, I'll show you where it is."

Two other nurses appeared, and suddenly the small group was moving. Jody followed them out. She saw Denise and Beth and motioned for them to come. Jody trailed the gurney through a maze of hallways, constantly twisting and turning around corners. She was glad Denise and Beth were there, because she wasn't sure she could have found her way back to get them. The gurney stopped by an open elevator and the nurse turned to Jody.

"The OR waiting room is at the end of this hall, on the left." Before Jody could say good-bye, the doors closed and Ellen was gone. Jody continued to stare at the closed door until she felt Denise's hand on her arm.

"Let's go find the waiting room," Denise suggested.

Chapter Twenty-Six.

The OR waiting room was a bit more comfortable than the previous one. Instead of the molded plastic chairs, this room had padded armchairs, and rather than the dull white paint of the previous room, this one was painted in relaxing pastels.

Jody removed the jacket from her shoulders and handed it to Denise. "Thanks, for what you did in there," she murmured.

"Don't worry about it. I really was burning up."

"I wasn't talking about the jacket," Jody said. "Thanks for giving me those last few minutes alone with Ellen. I know it was hard for you to leave."

The two friends stared at each other for several seconds before Denise nodded.

Jody sat by a window overlooking the entrance of the medical complex. Beth sat in a far corner by herself, while Denise sat close to the door.

Jody stared out the window where another wing with an identical wall of windows stood facing her. She wondered if someone was sitting behind those windows staring out at the windows on this side, while waiting for a stranger to come with news of a loved one.

She glanced around the waiting room. Seven or eight cl.u.s.ters of people sat scattered about the room. Some watched a vaguely familiar-looking talk show host on the television located at the far end of the room. Jody's attention rested on an elderly man who sat alone. She watched his work-roughened hands as they continuously turned a sweat-stained straw hat in slow, agonizing circles. She wondered who he was awaiting news on. Was it a wife, a child, or a lover perhaps?

A middle-aged woman dressed in scrubs walked in and all eyes in the room turned to her. She went to talk to a young African-American couple. Jody tried in vain to read the woman's lips as she explained something to the couple. She could feel tension tightening her neck as she sat unable to look away from the drama playing out before her. At last, the couple let out a collective cry of relief that echoed throughout the room. From the smile on the man's face, it was truly good news. Jody found her own spirits being lifted by their joy. The couple shook the woman's hand, and the three of them left the waiting room together.

How much longer would it be before someone brought them news? Ellen had said the surgery could last one to three hours. Jody looked at her watch. She had only been in the waiting room for forty-two minutes. It was going to be a long wait.

Twenty minutes later, a nurse appeared and informed them there had been a delay and Ellen had not yet been taken to surgery.

"Can we see her?" Denise asked.

"Since it won't be long before they take her in now, we recommend that you don't. It's less upsetting for her."

"She's back there by herself," Jody said. "I'd think that would be rather upsetting."

The nurse smiled. "Actually she was sleeping when I last checked on her. The mild sedative given in pre-op will help her sleep."

By eleven-thirty, Ellen was still waiting and Jody had a pounding headache. She closed her eyes against the glare on the window. She knew she should go get a cup of coffee but was afraid she would miss the nurse who had promised to let them know when Ellen was taken into surgery.

Jody opened her eyes and watched as Beth walked over and spoke to Denise. She seemed to be trying to convince her of something, but Denise kept shaking her head. Denise pointed toward Jody. Beth turned and saw Jody watching. She seemed to hesitate a moment before she walked out of the waiting room.

Denise frowned as she watched Beth leave. Jody remembered the promise she had made to Ellen to eat, but the thought of food made her stomach roll.

She considered trying to talk to Denise but was afraid Denise would reject her effort. Denise had been civil around Ellen but had said nothing more after Jody returned her jacket. She a.s.sumed the temporary reconciliation had been for Ellen's benefit.

A few minutes later, a man in scrubs entered. Jody watched him. Something about him made her decide he was a doctor. Even from a distance, she could sense his exhaustion. He slowly made his way to the elderly man and sat on the edge of the chair next to him. As the doctor spoke to him, Jody watched as the man seemed to shrink before her. The doctor patted the man's shoulder and left. The old man continued to stare into s.p.a.ce for several seconds before painfully making his way out of the chair and across the room. As he grew closer, Jody could see the tears in his faded blue eyes. His loss fed her fear. She glanced away, ashamed that she wasn't strong enough to reach out to him and offer him the smallest hint of human kindness.

Was it her imagination or was there a small collective sigh as the old man left the room? Jody glanced around but nothing had changed. The talk show host continued to rave, and Denise was still mad at her. Jody shook off the feeling and looked at her watch.

Jody began to shake. At any moment, a stranger could walk in and tell her Ellen was dying, but the world would continue to whirl around her. Suddenly she had to get out of the room. She couldn't sit here and watch as another family received devastating news.

Jody jumped up so quickly several people turned to stare. Seeing her sudden movement, Denise sat upright and looked around. Jody walked to her. "I'm going to stretch my legs. I'll be out in the hallway."

Jody paced until her feet hurt and there was still no sign of the nurse. She glanced at her watch. It was only twelve-forty. She returned to the waiting room. The television was now showing an old sitcom rerun. Denise was standing by one of the windows gazing out at the same wall of windows Jody had been staring at previously.

She looked up as Jody came in. Jody returned to her original seat and was surprised when Denise came to sit next to her.

"Did you see Beth while you were out there?"

Jody shook her head. "Where is she?"

Denise sighed. "She said she was going for coffee, but I think she may have left."

"What do you mean left?"

"I thought I heard her packing this morning, and I know she made at least one trip to the car before I came out. I heard the car door slam."

Jody couldn't resist the twinge of hopefulness that ran through her.

"After we got home the other night all she could talk about was how beautiful Ellen was, and how horrible it was that Ellen would be scarred after the surgery and how all their friends would know. It was almost as though she cared nothing about Ellen beyond her physical appearance and what their friends would say. I finally had to go to my bedroom to keep from tossing her out on her ear."

"It's hard to believe people can be so shallow." Jody ma.s.saged her aching temples.

"Where is that nurse?" Denise asked.

Jody glanced down at her watch and as she did, Denise jumped up and sped off. Jody looked up. The nurse stood at the door searching for them.

Even though Denise had a head start, Jody managed to beat her across the room to the nurse.

"How is she?" Jody asked.

The nurse gave a small rea.s.suring smile. "I'm sorry I took so long in getting back to you, but we had an emergency with another patient."

Jody suddenly recalled the old man. Could that have been the delay?

Denise appeared at Jody's side and clutched her arm.

"Ellen was taken into surgery about ten minutes ago. She is doing great," the nurse told them. "The surgery will take about two and a half hours, barring complications."

"What kind of complications?" Denise demanded.

The nurse placed her hand on Denise's shoulders. "Mrs. Murray, your daughter is fine." She glanced at them both before adding, "I think you both should go eat. You need to be taking care of yourselves." She glanced at her watch. "I'll come back in a hour. That'll give you time to eat. If you'd rather not leave the hospital, our cafeteria is actually very nice."

Denise started to argue, but Jody interrupted her. "She's right, Denise. We need to eat. I'm starting to get a little shaky and I can feel you trembling." She patted Denise's hand that was still clutching her arm.

"If there's an emergency, I'll page you in the cafeteria," the nurse a.s.sured Denise.

Denise removed her hand from Jody's arm and nodded.

After the nurse left, Denise returned to her seat by the door. Jody sat down beside her.

"Denise, you need to eat. Making yourself sick won't help Ellen."

"I'm really not hungry. You go on. I'll wait here."

Jody stood. "All right. If they page me in the cafeteria, I'll have someone come by here to tell you."

Denise's head shot up.

"The nurse won't come here looking for us since she thought we were going to eat," Jody said. "So, if there's a page, I'll send someone for you as soon as I have time."

Denise's eyes shot daggers at Jody. "I'll wait in the cafeteria," Denise said as she stomped out of the waiting room.