Not having a lot of time to think, I watched as she ripped it open, that same excitement still in her eyes.

"Hope you like it."

She buried her hands in the piles of tissue paper I'd used, grin still wide.

Silently, I watched as she pulled out the small key chain plated in silver. Tiny diamonds made up her initials in the center, and I studied her face as she flipped it over to read the engraving.

"'What's mine is yours,'" she read out loud, eyebrows pushed together in what looked like confusion.

I crouched down next to her, leaning forward to kiss her lips. "I'm so sorry for being a dick. I love you. Want you to be with me and Chloe all the time." I swallowed. "Move in with us." I whispered the last four words, tucking some of her hair behind her ear. "Please."

Her smile fell. "Collin..."

"Idiot," Lia mumbled. I glared at her from around Addie's shoulder, willing her to shut her mouth. Instead, she got up and grabbed her phone off the dining room table, burying her face in it.

My sister had told me to leave it be, that when Addie was ready for more, she'd tell me and make the next move. But I couldn't wait anymore. Not only did I want her because I loved her, but also because I secretly needed the reassurance that she wasn't going anywhere.

I knew I was a crazy bastard, but that didn't stop the insecurities running through my head. Even if she did decide to take a new job, I had to know that the two of us were solid. After the night we'd gone out with Amy's parents, I felt like I was grasping at straws to hold on to her. And it scared me shitless. Yeah, things between us had happened fast, but when you know...you just. Fucking. Know.

Least that's how it was with me.

"It's really gorgeous, Collin, but..."

My throat burned when I swallowed. Even when she turned to look at me, I knew I had my answer already. And yeah, it hurt like I'd been beaten in the chest with a hammer.

Not wanting to wait another second, I tugged her onto my lap. "Not a marriage proposal, sweetheart."

She sighed and wrapped her arms around my neck. Killed me to say what I did next, but at the same time, scaring her away would hurt me more in the end. "Just wanted you to know that the option is there whenever you're ready." But that was a lie, because what I really wanted from her was a yes, or even a hell yes.

"You sure you're okay if I take more time to think it over? I mean, I just caught up on my rent. I feel like I should, I don't know, do it for a little while longer to prove I can actually manage taking care of myself." She bit her lip.

I pressed my hands against her cheeks and lowered my forehead to hers. Not just because I wanted to kiss her, but because I didn't want her to see me breaking. "I'm sure."

Then she kissed me, tangling her hands in my hair. I kissed her back, trying to convince myself that she wasn't saying no for forever.

"Hey, you two." Gavin whipped a blanket over our heads. "Knock that shit off."

Addie smiled against my mouth between kisses, then whispered, "It's still Christmas, and I really wanna give you your present, but I can't 'til they're all gone and Chloe's asleep."

Didn't matter that my heart was nearly breaking in my chest, my cock was already up and ready, telling my emotions to piss off.

"Let's make it happen, then."

A little hand grabbed my knee from over the top of the blanket. I kissed Addie between the eyes before I yanked the blanket off our heads and said, "Boo."

Chloe giggled, and I reached down to tickle her waist before plopping her at my side. Right away, she laid her cheek on the blanket that'd been piled up on my calf, yawning and content as she stared at the Christmas lights. I reached down to run my fingers through her curls, finding my girlfriend's hand already doing the same thing. Instead of stopping, I helped-my hand on Addie's as we moved in sync over my baby girl's soft head. These were the moments I wanted every day for the rest of my life.

Lia plopped down on the chair to our left, and Gavin sprawled out on the couch and shut his eyes.

"Who's next?" I asked, not wanting to move.

Addie sighed. "I told McKenna I'd call her before I opened her present. Might as well get that over with. No doubt it's some extravagant gift that cost a fortune."

My hands tightened around Addie's waist, wishing I could keep her close. I nuzzled my nose into her hair, groaning five minutes later when she stood. Chloe had fallen asleep against my calf, a little baby snore coming out of her nose. Then a louder snore sounded from the couch, where Gavin's eyes were shut and his arm hanging off to the side.

Like uncle, like niece, I thought to myself before looking at Addie's ass as she bent over to grab a long envelope from under the tree.

Lia was on her phone, probably texting the dirtbag she'd been seeing from that club, so I took the spare minute to get my mental state in order and grabbed Chloe to put her to bed. She didn't make a sound as I changed her diaper and tucked her in her pajamas, only whining when I had to take her thumb out of her mouth to get her shirt off. In a way, I didn't want to leave her room because that'd mean the day was over, that I'd have to feel the rejection every time I looked into Addie's eyes. She didn't want to live with us yet. I got it. But why did I still feel like I was losing her?

Out in the living room, Lia was getting her coat on. "You leaving?" I asked.

"Yeah, figured I'd swing by Travis's house before I headed home."

Any other day I'd have told her what I thought about this Travis guy. But I figured since it was Christmas, I'd let it go.

"You okay?" She motioned her head toward the kitchen, where Addie was talking to someone, I assumed McKenna, on the phone.

"Don't start with the I-told-you-so's."

"Collin." She squeezed my shoulder. "It's been, what? Almost three months? Don't rush it."

Didn't realize my hand was shaking 'til I ran it up and down my face. "I know. I just...I fucking love her, Sis. I don't know how to handle the way she makes me feel sometimes. Tangles me all up."

She reached for me and pulled me into a hug. "I know, Big Brother. But you have to remember that she's been through a lotta crap in her life with her parents. Give her time to adjust to being loved like crazy by a man who'd do anything for her."

I shut my eyes and pressed my chin against Lia's shoulder. "I'm trying."

She patted my back. "I know you are."

After she left, I lowered my forehead to the door. The place where it had all started between Addie and me. At the time, I thought I was just some screwed-up guy in need of a piece of ass. But thinking back on it, I knew I'd been lying to myself. I didn't know love until the second I knew Addison Booker. And if I had to wait a little while longer to make her feel the same way, I would. Just prayed she wouldn't change her mind in the end.

Addison My eyes watered as I pulled Kenna's present from the envelope. A plane ticket to Maine blurred before me.

"It's one week, Addie. That's it. You told me you needed some space to get your head together."

"But that was before he apologized and asked me to move in with him. I feel like if I go now, he'll think I'm running."

McKenna sighed from the other end. "Isn't that what the plan was? To run for a bit until you realized that it wasn't what you wanted after all?"

"No." I frowned, flicking the paper between my fingers. "I just want to make sure is all. I love him so much, but he's so..." I squeezed my eyes shut, Passionate was the first word that came to mind, and filled with love. The way Collin reacted to situations wasn't just him being a bossy ass. It was just him being him: a man who loved hard and fought harder for what he wanted. Still, every time he tried to tell me what to do, all I could think was: Am I my mother after all? "I mean, what if I don't move in right now and he decides later I'm not good enough after all?"

She laughed. "No guy like Collin will change his mind that quickly. The guy is flipping nuts about you. I saw it that night in the bar." She huffed. "Besides that, even if he did decide not to wait, he'd be crazy and definitely not worth your time."

I was nuts about Collin too. So nuts, in fact, that I'd almost told him yes when I opened that key chain tonight, though I knew deep down that I was still not one hundred percent ready.

Being on my own for a little while longer in my apartment and paying my own bills was for me and me alone, not because I didn't want Collin, but because I was looking for solidification in my life-to prove my father wrong, though he'd never know. To be able to take care of myself and prove to the world that, financially, I could be the person I was required to be in order to be a stepmother to Collin's daughter some day. I was almost there, believe me. But not quite yet.

"Just talk to him. Tell him I bought these tickets because I want to spend New Year's with you. Because, in truth, that's what it comes down to."

I shut my eyes. "I will."

"All right. The little nugget kids are calling. Gotta go do the last-minute, nighttime auntie...things." She paused a second. "Being around all these little germy boys makes me realize that I do not want children anytime soon. Maybe never."

I couldn't help but grin. "Don't knock it yet. You still have a lot of years left." I twirled the ends of my hair and stuffed the ticket into my jeans pocket, storing it away for later.

"Yeah, but the supply of men to help me make them is severely lacking."

This time I laughed out loud, just as Collin came up beside me to lean against the counter. "Gotta go," I said to Kenna. "Talk tomorrow."

"You're coming to Maine. We will drink all the problems away with the new year." She yelled through the phone, so loud that Collin cringed.

Holding my breath, I clicked End and waited for the inevitable bomb to drop.

"Hi," I said.

"Hey." He lowered his chin to his chest and rubbed the back of his neck.

"How much did you hear?"

"Enough." He looked at the floor, obviously avoiding my eyes.

"Collin, I don't have to go."

Silently, he leaned closer and pulled the white ticket from my pocket.

I shooed it off, trying not to make a big deal about it. "It's nothing. Just a dumb gift from McKenna. I'm not gonna go."

"New Year's?" he asked.

"Yeah, I mean, I know it's last minute so-"

"You're going."

I swallowed hard. "No. There won't be anybody to watch Chloe and-"

"Said you're going. Suzie'd love to watch Chloe. It'd probably be good for her to spend some time with her grandmother." He handed me the ticket, not meeting my stare. I stuffed it back into my jeans, ignoring the metaphorical weight against my thigh.

"Oh. Well, yeah, that's probably true..." If it was, then why did I feel like he was dismissing me? My eyes burned. Before he could look at me, I walked to the fridge to grab a bottle of water. I took a long drink, begging the lump in my throat to go away.

"Ready for bed?"

"Yes." My voice cracked. I turned around, scared to see his face, his expressive eyes. If they were blank, it'd hurt more than anything else.

Before I could get a good look, he flicked the lights off. Still, he reached for my hand, not hesitating to lock our fingers together. I took another deep breath, but my heartbeat still pounded like an out-of-control drum cadence in my chest.

Palms pressed together, he pulled me to the living room, avoiding my eyes as he flicked all the lights off along the way, leaving Gavin asleep in the living room, snoring.

The tension flowing off Collin's body had my skin burning with unease. I wanted to speak but had no idea to say. Collin was a man who always said what was on his mind, but the second he got me into his bedroom, he switched off the light and pressed his mouth to mine.

Wordless and greedy for anything he could give me, I pulled him closer, desperate for him as I grabbed the front of his shirt. He pulled me down on top of him on the bed and immediately gripped the bottom of my sweater. Still, he hesitated to pull it up, always asking before he took. When I nodded once, he drew it up and over my head, only to let his hands run down my sides. Seconds later, he worked at the button of my jeans, flicking it open and slowly slipping them down and off my body.

When I couldn't take the silence anymore, I grabbed his arms and settled them against the bed. He didn't fight me, just lay there, eyes shut. "Look at me, Collin."

The curtains on the window to our right were open, revealing the moon reflected off the new dusting of snow outside. The light outlined his face just enough that I could see his eyes when they opened, shiny and blue and filled with a dangerous emotion that nearly stole my heartbeats.

Collin was scared.

I lowered my head to his, the move he'd always done to me. "I love you, Collin."

His fingers tightened around mine. The power in his arms was no match for me as he flipped my body beneath his, then nuzzled his nose in my hair. "Never wanna lose you." The whispered words were tender and shaking.

"You won't," I said, needing his skin on mine, needing to feel his heartbeat closer.

Minutes later, he was free of clothes. Kissing me with a burning fervor, he reached for the straps of my bra to tug them down over my shoulders. Then his hand was on my breast, kneading and pulling, tugging my nipple, until his mouth replaced his fingers.

I moaned, wiggling to get my panties off. I needed him inside me. I needed to prove to him that I loved him by doing to his body what he always did to mine. But when I finally shook off the last leg of my panties, I knew he had other plans. Kissing his way down my stomach, he took his time to caress and lick my nipples, until he landed between my spread thighs.

"Collin," I cried just as his tongue and mouth crashed against me.

With a low groan in his chest, he gripped my thighs tighter, the pleasurable ache only sending me closer to the edge. He licked and nibbled, sucked, then licked again, as lightning bolts of desire and pressure pulsed between my hips.

Before I could reach the end, he stopped, leaving me gasping as I arched my back. I didn't have a moment to cry out at the loss because he was there on top of me, his erection at my center, pressing inside.

"Deeper," I hissed as he filled me. "Faster," I begged as he pushed inside a little more. Still, he was wordless, only staring at me with pain and pleasure and more love than I'd ever known.

His hips were relentless yet slow, savoring yet desperate. Never once did his beautiful blue eyes leave mine.

This man...this brilliantly hard-loving man was treating me with kid gloves. The kind that made me feel fragile. The kind that made me want to cry out with frustration but hold on to him forever.

He pushed me close to an edge I wasn't afraid of, only to pull me back from it every time. Forty minutes turned into fifty minutes, until an hour passed. All of those minutes were torture to my heart, pain to my soul, but brought perfect pleasure every second they lasted.

Finally, when sweat had coated our bodies completely and when our breaths had turned into pained gasps, I found my release, calling out his name with I love you. Soon after, he followed, but with the sort of finality to his cries that made tears flow down my cheeks when it was all said and done.

Collin had made just made love to me like he was saying good-bye...and I could do nothing but let him.

Chapter 38.

Collin "I'm going. Booking a flight at the airport, then leaving." I grabbed my rugby duffel in the closet and dumped all my crap on the floor. Then went back to my room and threw in a spare set of clothes and underwear. Back in the living room, I looked at Max, who was feeding Chloe in her high chair.