3:45 and my palms are sweaty. What is wrong with me? This is my job not a damn circus show. I fight to finish up my last massage before Mr. Moore comes in. I should be excited and a bundle of nerves for him and the potential outcome, but the truth is my heart belongs to someone else.

It took me running into State to realize it. I've never felt whole since the day he left the orphanage. I know it wasn't his fault and in all actuality my life was saved as well. But it was never the same without him in it. When he held me yesterday, everything melted away in his arms. I was time warped back to our childhood days in Kings. I've never wanted to go back there, but now it's all I can think about.

Everything about State is bigger. His smile, his muscles, and his pull on me. When we were little he was never handsome to me because he was always just State, my best friend. But yesterday I saw the most beautiful man I've ever seen. His body is an empire of perfectly sculpted muscles bound together with beauty.

I shake him from my thoughts and clean up my small space for my next appointment. There's about thirty minutes to wait, so I work on an assignment. The intense assignment fades away yesterday and the thoughts of going back to work.

"Baylor." A light knocking and my name rolling out in a deep voice catches my attention.

I readjust my "Superman" style glasses on the bridge of my nose and look up to Mr. Moore.

"I'm so sorry." I stand running my hands down the front of my thighs. "I lost track of time."

He points to my laptop.

"School work," I offer.

"Good girl. Makes the principal in me happy." He shines with a friendly smile.

The man is really nice on the eyes and is genuinely kind to me.

"I'm always juggling," I joke and follow it up with a weak laugh.

"Living the dream, I see."

"Yeah." I brush back my hair, feeling nervous all of a sudden. "Well, you didn't come here for chit-chat. Let me grab you a robe and get you set up."

"We could grab coffee if you'd prefer."

"Oh, that's too nice of you, but sounds like you're need of a good massage."

"That I am." He grabs the robe from me and heads for the bathroom in my area.

I slap my forehead causing a loud smacking sound. Damn, could I sound like a bigger idiot? I'm so awkward and attribute it to my odd desire, or the lack there of, for the opposite sex. It's easy talking to him at school with Rowe's hand in mine and even easier texting.

When Mr. Moore appears from the bathroom in a white robe, I shake a bit. His tan skin is a great compliment to the bright white robe.

"I'm a virgin here. I left my boxers on, is that okay?"

I fumble for words before something coherent comes out. "Uh, yeah. I'll, um, work on your back and shoulders today to ease you in."

"Perfect." He smiles at me like he's sensing my nervousness.

I relax a bit when he lies face down on the table. I didn't even realize he took off the robe before he laid down. My mind begins comparing him to State. His shoulders aren't as broad and his muscles aren't as well developed. Mr. Moore is packing some buns though. Holy hell!

"Do you prefer a scent?"

"I don't think so." His words are a bit muffled. "Am I laying right? I've only seen this in movies."

"Perfect. Are you comfortable?"

"Yes."

I queue the calming music, dim the lights, and lather my hands in a new coconut oil rub I've just bought and begin to lightly massage his shoulders. They're incredibly tense and will require some deeper work in a later appointment.

"Let me know if anything hurts, okay?" I continue working my hands over his skin. "I'll try to loosen some of these muscles."

"Damn, that feels good."

I blush with his compliment. It's all really stupid, he's just another client, and hundreds have told me the same thing.

"Excellent. Just relax and enjoy."

I pay attention to both of his shoulders, tying my hands together down his back. I'm thankful when he stays silent the remainder of the time. It avoids all kind of weird conversation and awkward feelings brewing in me. Toward the end, I'm pretty sure I hear light snores coming from him.

I wash my hands and sanitize the area while he dresses back into his button up shirt and khakis. I have everything put up and ready to go before he exits. I texted Alley earlier this morning asking to switch shifts at bar. There's no way in the hell my heart can handle seeing State two days in a row. I mean, it's not like he's going to come back for me or anything. It's just a chance I want to avoid if, there even is one.

"There's going to be a lot of unhappy people when you get that degree, Baylor."

I look up from twiddling fingers to Mr. Moore dressed in all his glory.

"Thanks." I give him a half smile. "It will be a while, trust me."

And that's the fucking truth, at this point I may never get my degree with my pace of classes.

"I doubt that. You seem to go after what you want."

I laugh out loud at his last comment because he really has no idea who I am. I've grown up to fool the world, with the help of Miss Tami, but I'm polite back.

"Thank you," I say.

He pulls his wallet from his back pocket and digs around in it.

"This one is on me for always taking such amazing care of Rowe."

"Nope." His one word reply is certain.

"Seriously, I mean it. I can never tell you how much I appreciate it."

"It's not a hard job at all, Baylor. I love that little girl and, honestly, every morning that she runs up to me makes my day a bit brighter."

"She definitely has that effect." I smile, all of a sudden missing her.

"Baylor?" He runs his hands through his sandy blond hair leaving it standing on end.

"Yeah." I can't make myself look him in the eyes, so I busy myself fiddling with my teal chevron messenger bag.

"Would you like to have dinner with me sometime?"

Chills run up my spine. He's a nice guy, but I have no desire to entertain this thought. "I really don't get much free time these days."

"Yeah, you're right I don't either." He's defeated and I feel like an asshole.

"I'll let you know if I ever have an opening," I offer.

"Great. I'll work on Rowe to see if you can get an opening."

"Sorry, I didn't mean for it to come out that way." I shrug hopelessly. "And you know if you tell her she'll have our wedding planned out with matching crowns and tiaras."

We both share a good laugh as we walk out in to the parking lot and before we part ways he grabs my hand.

"Baylor, I'm very serious about wanting to take you out."

"Okay." I look down at the scuffed up tip of my favorite black pair of Converse.

He brushes the hair dancing in my face back, cups my cheek, and guides me to look at him.

"I'm trying not to be too forward here, but Baylor you're gorgeous with a huge heart, and I'd love to get to know you better."

"You won't like what you get to know."

"That's my decision, Baylor, not yours."

"You're not going to give up, are you?"

"Doesn't seem like it." He pulls his hand back since I'm staring at him. "But I'm not a creeper or stalker in any way. I'll always respect your boundaries."

"Okay, let me think about it, and just know it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with me."

"I get it." He takes a step back. "Give my princess a hug for me."

"Will do." I wave to him and then slump in my car knowing the date will never happen.

I feel as broken and shattered as I did the day State left me and I can't control it.

Nine.

"Damn the tips were on fire tonight," I say, giving a portion of mine to the bartender and cooks. Just keeping the cycle positive and well-oiled.

"Baylor, can I talk to you?" Alley peeks from her office.

"Yep, let me finish stocking the napkins and I'll be there."

I know I'm not in trouble, but can't force the fear out of my belly. Just like every time I was called to the principal's office in grade school. I was never in trouble, but always felt like I was.

I wipe my hands on my shorts after filling the napkin dispenser and peek into her office. "Hey."

"Have a seat Baylor?"

I take the one across from her in her sports decorated office. "Am I getting fired?"

"Hell to the no, dumbass." She laughs hard at my question.

"Well, you're scaring the shit out of me, Boss Woman."

"One, if I ever fired you, Miss Tami would cut my lady nuts, and two, you're one of my hardest and most productive workers. Three, everyone loves you here."

"Then spill already. I'm about to stroke out here."

Alley leans back in her chair and kicks her feet up on her desk. "Let's get real for a second here, Baylor. I'm not going to hold back."

I swallow hard thinking these words might be worse than actually being fired.

"You know that man that had you so shook up a few days back?"

My world spins and I want to bolt, but I'm caught in a trap, so I only nod.

"He's been back here twice looking for you. He wants to know where you live, but see, I can't give out that information."

"Okay." I clutch to the hem of my shorts, letting my fingernails dig into my flesh.

"Who is he?"

"Nobody," I answer quickly.

"Bullshit. I'm not your boss right now. I'm your friend. The joint is closed and we are sitting here as friends."

I shake my head side-to-side, feeling the tears well up in my eyes. "He's nobody."

"I could go to Miss Tami, but wanted to talk to you first. If you could look in the mirror right now you might convince yourself he's not a nobody."

"He's my past."

"How past?" She asks.

"Kings' past. He left me."

"The second time I had to turn him away, he was teared up just like you are sitting there. He beat the shit out of guy in the parking lot. His buddy begged me not to call the cops."