I'm thankful she drops the topic and helps Rowe put in the DVD.

"Popcorn," Rowe squeals, clapping her hands together.

I hop up from my State trance and make my way to her. "I'll get it, sweetie."

My arms wrap her up in a tight hug and I kiss the top of her head. A princess movie marathon and Rowe are the perfect distractions from the incident earlier today. I drove around forever after leaving my shift early. Alley, bless her heart, didn't even ask a question.

I holler from the quaint kitchen bathed in salmon pink tiles. "M&M's or no."

"M's." Rowe's excited voice floats through the house.

My phone lights up with a notification while I lean on the counter waiting for the microwave to ding.

Mr. Moore: Have any openings for a massage this week? Had to break up quite the cat fight between two second grade girls today.

I giggle.

Me: Pull a hammy?

Mr. Moore: Something like that.

Mr. Moore: I know I only have your number for emergency purposes. I hope this is okay.

Me: No worries. It's fine.

He's a rapid-fire texter and I forget all about the popcorn, M&M's, and princesses.

Mr. Moore: Great.

Me: I have tomorrow at 4:45. Is that enough time to make it after work?

Mr. Moore: I'll be there. But I'm thinking it's a glute muscle that needs worked on.

Me: Are you sure you just don't want it pinched.

Mr. Moore: I'm pleading the fifth.

I laugh like a lunatic, set down the phone, and fix the popcorn before Rowe busts me. I have no idea why it's so easy to talk to Mr. Moore. Maybe it's because I know there's no chance of anything happening, but he makes me feel halfway normal like a twenty-two year old should.

Me: See you then. Off to a princess marathon with the fairest of them all.

Mr. Moore: So jealous Mr. Moore: God, that came across needy, eh?

Me: Just working on your prince swagger.

He doesn't respond and there's no sight of the three dancing bubbles in our text thread, so I grab the three bowls and head for the living room. Princess Rowe is in my seat with her hands in her lap and hypnotized by the previews. I give Miss Tami her bowl, but she clutches my hand before I can back away.

"What happened?" She eyes me.

"I, uh, I ran into..."

"Baylor, are you okay. Please just tell me that."

I nod my head up and down. "I'm fine. It's just that...Fuck, I can't say it."

She slaps my shoulder. "Language."

"Ouch, you mean woman."

She raises her eyebrows at me.

"Can we talk in the morning? I don't have it in me tonight."

"I love you, Baylor."

"Love you, too, child hitter."

She slaps me again and I giggle.

"Sissy."

I turn to see Rowe who is now perched up on the arm of my chair. I settle in next to her, extend the recliner, pull her into my lap, and cozy on in. We have our favorite blanket spread across us and both dive into our sweet and salty treat. My phone dings with a text, but I ignore it.

Way too fast, my eyes grow heavy. Seeing Tangled for the thousandth time just doesn't hold my interest. Rowe earned a new DVD since she wore out the last one. And truth be told, I want nothing more than to drift off to sleep to see State again.

Darkness hits me, and I'm magically swept off to dream land and State. We're not little kids anymore, but adults kissing and catching up.

Way too soon sweet little giggles bring me from slumber. When I pry open my eyes Rowe has my phone in her little hands and laughing way too hard.

"What are you doing?"

"Look."

She has my Snapchat app open and a picture of her as a dog with her tongue hanging out. I only have the stupid app for Rowe to play on. It entertains her for hours making silly pictures and videos to send Miss Tami. She's my only contact in the app. I'm not sure who enjoys making ridiculous Snaps more, Miss Tami or Rowe.

My phone chirps with a text and I see Mr. Moore's name at the top.

"He texted back."

"Rowe." I grab the phone from her and scroll up to my last text to him.

Mr. Moore: Sorry, had a school board meeting.

Me: Will you marry me?

Mr. Moore: Rowe?

Me: No, this is sissy.

Mr. Moore: I see.

The next picture text makes me gasp out loud and then shudder in horror. It's of me with my head bent backwards, mouth wide open, and a clear shot of my nostrils.

Mr. Moore: LOL Me: See it's me.

Mr. Moore: I see.

Several more pictures of me in the same position with popcorn up my nose and balancing on my lips are sent. Mr. Moore must be laughing like a lunatic because he only comments with LOL's.

"Why did you let her do this?" I stare at Miss Tami.

"I told her she could only do it if she spelled everything out."

I look down at the lapsed time between texts and can tell Miss Tami had to probably spell out most of the words and it's probably why Rowe reverted to picture texting.

The last picture is a Snap Chat pic of me with a bright yellow daisy framing my gaping piehole.

Me: This is the real Baylor. Princess Trouble Pants has been having some fun I see.

Mr. Moore: Quite entertaining that Princess is.

Me: Good Night! PS- My phone is going under lock and key.

Mr. Moore: Smart move.

Me: Moon (emoticon) I only remain silently embarrassed for a few moments, but then busy myself tucking Princess Trouble Pants into bed. There's no way I could be mad at Rowe. Actually, it was funny as hell and would've even been funnier if it wasn't my gaping hippo mouth in the pictures, not to even mention my nose hairs.

"Baylor."

"Rowe." I leap on her bed and snuggle into her.

"Will you sleep with me tonight?"

"Yes." I tap the tip of her nose. "What's up?"

"Just a bit spooked."

"Why? I mean you do have the coolest sister in the entire world."

"Are you sure I'm your sister?"

"Double promise, hop scotch, with butter on top, Pop-Tart princess promise."

"I love you, Baylor, so much." She wraps her hand around my neck and squeezes me tight.

"You make my world perfect, Rowe."

"Tell me one of your stories when you were little. You know the ones you tell me with your best friend?"

I generally love telling her embellished stories about State and I growing up, but tonight it squeezes my heart in all the wrong ways.

"Let me see." I pause for a bit.

"I really love the ice cream one where he was the prince and nailed those bullies in the nuts."

Like I said, they're embellished a lot. I try to open my mouth to share a time at the park, but his scent hits me and his sorrowful brown eyes gut me.

"Did you love him, Sissy?" She asks out of the blue.

"I do love him, so much, Rowe." I squeeze her tight to me.

"Let's go on an adventure and find him. We can get cool spy glasses and take our wands."

"What if he doesn't want to be found?" I ask.

"That boy is going to want you and your big butt."

I laugh hard this time at her frank honesty. I do have a big ass.

"Okay, one time we were at our favorite magical forest, set in a corner of a park on King's street. I was boiling up a witch's brew to give the mean kids in the class."

"What kind?" She perks up.

"The kind that makes them grow goat horns and oink like a pig when they say mean things."

"Ooohhh."

"State was busy shining his armor and sketching out..."

I never bring up football in front of her. It's an automatic trigger for her.

I begin again. "Sketching out his next enemy raid. We waited for hours in the magical land and passed the time by playing tic-tac-toe on the cement. State threw a fit when I kept winning, always claiming I was cheating. I pulled out my paper UNO cards and whipped him in another game."

Rowe's grip around me loosens and her little lids flutter off to dreamland. I'm thankful because every word about State hurts. I smooth down her messy hair and kiss her forehead.

"I'll give you the world, Rowe, you deserve it and so much more."

When I study her relaxed and sleeping features I see so much of me in her. I didn't have a disability, but just inverted in my own self and refused to talk. We were both hurt by others with no one to fight for us until Miss Tami.

I love this girl so much it pains me. A reflection of a young Baylor stares back at me and tears leak down my face. I cry for all the lost children in the world who never had a State or Miss Tami. None of it's fair.

Eight.