"Why did he beat someone up?" I ask.

"He's pissed and wants to find you. His buddy said he has quite the temper that he struggles to control."

"He does," I admit while drifting back to all the times he protected me with his fists.

"Friendly advice from a person who has been around the block a few times. Hear him out."

"I can't."

"Why?" She presses.

I blow out of my seat with my hands flying in the air and tears streaming down my face. "Because he's my past. He WAS my best friend and we were torn apart. He has a new life and I'm not in it, nor do I belong in it."

"That's not your choice, Baylor. The man needs you."

"I needed him time and time again, but he left." I fall to my knees and wail out the hatred. Yes, hate for the way things went down between State and I. Alley wraps me in her arms, soothing down my hair, and rocking me until I'm able to drive home.

Ten.

"Alley called me last night." Miss Tami begins picking up the table.

"Nice," I reply, trying to act cool.

"She's worried about you."

"It's fine." I grab the casserole dish helping her with dishes.

I've escaped the topic of State until now and it seems the time has come to spill. Miss Tami will be pissed if I don't tell her. She loved State as much as I did, and she'll also be disappointed in me for running from my problems. What can I say? It's a bad habit I can't kick.

"Want to talk?" She asks, turning on the hot water to the sink.

"No, there's nothing to talk about. It's a closed book."

She bites her bottom lip, keeping in the words she really wants to say because Rowe just rushed in.

"Spoon. Spoon." She reaches her little hand up to the Jell-O salad.

I hoist her up to the counter and scoot her back until her heels are on top. I hand her the spoon and push the nearly finished Jell-O bowl towards her. Rowe is her own dishwasher with certain dishes.

"We're not done talking about this," Miss Tami warns me.

I slam my hand on the counter and don't miss the fact I startled Rowe. "We are."

My voice is harsh and hurtful, and I immediately regret it. Rowe begins sobbing and I feel like an even bigger piece of shit.

"I'm sorry." I ball my fists at my side. "I'm sorry, Rowe, I shouldn't have done that."

"Don't be mean, that scares me." She wipes the tears from under eyes.

I go to her and pull her to my chest. "I'm so sorry. That was wrong of me."

I stare at Miss Tami while talking to Rowe.

"Let's just finish cleaning up." Miss Tami turns her back to us while busying herself with the dishes. "You girls put stuff away in the fridge."

"Can you help me with that?"

She sniffles. "Yes."

I'm thankful she doesn't bring up the topic again, and before bathing Rowe I apologize to her and do my best job of explaining my reasoning. It's foolish I know, but where I'm at right now.

The doorbell rings.

"I'll get it," Miss Tami sings out. "Delores is bringing over a new yarn for me tonight."

I hear her open the door and greet the person into the house. Delores has a very deep and muffled voice. Miss Tami squeals loudly and I know something is off.

"I'll be right back. Get dressed in your PJs." I kiss the top of Rowe's head before leaving the room.

When I round the corner, I freeze in my step with the sight before me. It's State hugging Miss Tami with one arm and a huge bouquet in the other.

"I swear my eyes are playing tricks on me," she squeals practically hanging from his neck.

His hearty chuckle fills the house and warms my insides. He's here. State is really here in my house.

"Sorry, I would've called, but didn't have a number."

"You never have to call, State, you're family. Come in." She closes the door behind him and that's when we lock eyes.

His smile goes on for days while his eyes bore holes in mine. His scent hits me from across the room. He's dressed in gym shorts and a University of Florida football t-shirt with a gator chomping on a football.

"Baylor." His deep voice hypnotizes me. "I got these for you."

"Those are gorgeous." Miss Tami claps her hands together. "I'll put them in water."

She takes them and rushes into the kitchen.

"What are you doing here?" My words are cold.

"I have to see you, Baylor."

"No."

"Yes." He takes a step closer to me. "Why are you avoiding this?"

"Because you have a new life."

He clasps his hands behind his head and grows pissed off. "Are you an idiot?"

His insult hurts and cuts deep. He's never said a cruel word to me, but I don't show the effect it has on me.

"I guess so if that's what you want to call it." I shrug. "You have a new life and world. Go live it."

I leave out the girlfriend part, but aim loaded to throw that in his face too.

"There's no life without you. My world has been black and white since the day we were torn apart. You color my world. You're my second half, Baylor."

"You never looked for me."

"You don't know that." He steps in closer until his chest is pressing into me. "I looked. You didn't."

"You're right, I didn't. You're better off without me and our past."

"You're wrong. I need you. You complete me." He cups my face in his huge palm and I melt into it.

Like so many times before when I burrowed into him for protection, loyalty, and friendship.

"My lips can't get you out of my head. I've felt you on me since finding each other the other day."

I close my eyes and feel everything inside of me shatter. All my barriers begin to crumble, the walls fade away, and the buried core of me comes to life. I reach up on my tiptoes needing to feel him again.

"Kiss me, State."

He bends down tentatively and covers my lips with his. It's me this time who moves first kissing him back, darting my tongue out, and taking advantage of his mouth. I moan in pleasure and grow confused with my actions. All I know in this moment is that State is in my house, has me wrapped up in my arms, and is kissing the hell out of me.

We both pull away when we hear Miss Tami rushing back in to join us. State steps back and adjusts the crotch of his shorts. My eyes follow his hand and stay mesmerized on the bulge pushing through the thin material.

But we were just friends.

"Come have a seat, State." Tami points to the couch.

"Princess Sissy," Rowe sings out rounding the corner.

She throws her head to look up to State. He easily towers all of us girls. She scrambles to me, clutching my leg, and begins screaming in fear.

"Hey." I bend down to her and pick her up. She's near the point of not being able to be picked up anymore. She locks her legs around my middle and buries her head in my neck, screaming to high hell.

"Football. Bad men. Football. Hurt Rowe."

Oh shit, the football on his shirt.

"Hey, hey, hey." I bounce her softly and rub her back. "This is State. he's my friend. He's a good guy."

"No. Football. No."

A warm sensation flows between Rowe and me. I can hear the urine dribble down on the hardwood floor. I look up into State's eyes and follow his vision. He stares at the urine and our coated bodies. I'm instantly reverted right back to my younger years of fear.

"Oh shit, I'll go." He holds his hands up with hurt in his voice.

"No." It comes out panicked. I need him right now. "Take off your shirt, please."

He looks at me as if I've lost my damn mind. "Just do it. I'll be right back. Miss Tami will fill you in."

I rush into the bathroom between Rowe's room and mine, and start a tub of water.

"Rowe, you're okay. Look up."

She's still sobbing and yelling out gibberish.

"Baby, look up."

It takes her several minutes to look up from my neck. A wave of relief washes over her features, but her sobs still control her little body.

"He's bad guy."

I shake my head side-to-side, knowing she's in a real panic attack with her short sentences.

"No, he's my friend." I comb my fingers through her hair. "He used to be my best friend when I was your age."

"Bad guys play football."

"No, baby. Remember bad guys can be anywhere."

We've been working with her on this for some time now, but it's her one trigger she can't get past. I strip her wet panties and princess nightgown, and place her in the tub.

"Don't let me go, sissy."

"I'm right here."

"No." She shakes her little head in my direction.

I bend down on my knees and put both arms in the water. "Miss Tami and I will always keep you safe. Do you trust me?"

She shrugs her shaky shoulders.

"I princess promise you on top of Pop Tarts, I'll do everything to protect you." I run my soapy hand up her back. "Football isn't bad, sweetie."

"I'm scared."

"I know, honey, I'm here."