Niels Klim's Journey Under The Ground - Part 5
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Part 5

Harramba, whose eyes occupy the whole forehead; and finally,

Skodolki, who have a single eye in the neck.

The most numerous and powerful of these races, are the Nagirians. Kings, senators and priests are always chosen from this cla.s.s. None are admitted to any office, but those who acknowledge and testify by oath, that a certain table, dedicated to the sun and placed in the temple, is oblong. This table is the holiest object of mardakanic worship. The oath, to be taken by aspirants to honors, is as follows:

"Kaki manaska quihampu miriac jakku, mesimbrii caphani crukkia, manaskar quebriac krusondora."

In English:

"I swear, that the holy table of the sun seems oblong to me, and I promise to remain in this opinion until my last breath."

When the neophyte, of either cla.s.s, has sworn this oath, he is taken up among the Nagirians, and is qualified for any office. On the day after my arrival, as I walked in the market-place, I met a party bearing an old man to the whipping post. I asked them the nature of his offence, and was told that he was a heretic, who had publicly declared that the holy table of the sun appeared square to him.

I immediately entered the temple, being curious to know whether or not my eyes were orthodox. The table was certainly square to my view, and I said so to my landlord, on my return. This tree, who had been recently appointed a church-warden, drew a deep sigh on this occasion, and confessed that it also seemed square to him, but that he dared not express such an opinion, openly, from fear of being ejected from office, if not worse.

Trembling in every joint, I quietly left this region, fearful that my back might suffer on account of my heterodox vision.

The duchy of Kimal is considered the mightiest and richest of the states on this planet. There are numberless silver mines within its borders: the sand of its rivers is colored by gold, and its coasts are paved with pearl oysters of the finest water.

The people of this province, nevertheless, are more miserable than those of any other I visited. They are miners, gold-strainers and pearl-divers, condemned to the most infamous slavery, drenched in water, or secluded from air and light, and all for the sake of dear gain. How strange and senseless is the l.u.s.t for brilliant baubles!

The possessors of wealth are obliged to keep a continual watch over their property, for the land is full of robbers. None can travel without an armed retinue. Thus, this people, on which their neighbors look with longing eyes, should deserve pity rather than excite envy. Fear, mistrust and jealousy rage in all hearts: each regards his neighbor as an enemy. Sorrows and terrors, sleepless nights, pale faces and trembling hands are the fruits of that very wealth, which their neighbors look upon as the greatest good.

My wanderings through Kimal were the most unpleasant and dangerous in all my experience. My course was towards the east. I journeyed among many people, who were generally polite and social, but whose customs were not singular enough to merit particular attention. I had much cause to wonder, when I came among the Quambojas, in whom nature was entirely perverted. The older these people grow, the more l.u.s.tful they become.

Rashness, lasciviousness and roguery increase with years. None are suffered to hold offices after the fortieth year. At this age, the wildness and moral insensibility of boyhood begins; the sports of childhood, only, are tolerated. The tree becomes a minor, and is placed under the guardianship of his younger relations.

I did not think it advisable to remain long in Quamboja, where in a few years, I should be sentenced to become a child again.

I witnessed a perversion of a different kind in Kokleku. In the former province, nature is the agent of this perversion; here the law is the agent. The Koklekuans are juniper trees.

The males alone cook and perform all domestic duties. In time of war, they serve in the army, but always in the ranks. To the females, are entrusted all civil, divine and military offices. The females reason thus: The males are endowed with greater bodily strength, and greater powers of endurance; therefore, it is clear that nature intended them to do all the work. But this will keep them so busy, that they will not have time to think. Moreover, as continual physical labor degrades the mind, if they should presume to think, their thoughts would be puerile, and practically useless. Therefore, it is plain, that to the females belongs the direction of affairs. The lady of the house may be found in the study with books and papers about her, while the master is in the kitchen cooking and washing.

I saw many mournful effects of this inconsistent custom.

In other places, females are to be found, who bring their chast.i.ty to market and trade with their charms. Here the young males sell their nights, and for this end congregate in certain dwellings, before which signs are hung out. When these males get to be too troublesome, they are punished as prost.i.tutes are, elsewhere. Females stroll about the streets, beckon to the men, stare at them, whistle and cry psh! to them; chuckle them under the chin and do all manner of tricks, without the least sense of shame. These females boast of their victories, as dandies, with us, plume themselves on their intimacy with ladies, whose only favor may have been a sharp box on the ear. None are here blamed for besieging a young male with love letters and presents. But a young fellow would be looked upon as having outraged all decency, should he stammer out a faint yes, to the first entreaty of a young female.

At the time I was in the country a terrible commotion arose on account of the violation of a senator's son by a young virgin. She was generally condemned for this high-handed and abominable action. The friends of the youth insisted that she should be prosecuted, and if the crime were proved, sentenced to mend the young fellow's honor by marrying him, especially as it could be sworn to that he had lived a pure and virtuous life till this libertiness had seduced him.

Blessed Europe! I exclaimed on this occasion; thrice blessed France and England! where the names--weaker s.e.x--frail vessels--are no idle names:--where the wives are so entirely subjected to their husbands that they seem to be rather machines or automatons than creatures endowed with free will and n.o.ble aspirations!

The most splendid building in Kokleku is the Queen's harem, in which three hundred beautiful young fellows are shut up for life. So jealous is the queen, that no female is allowed to approach the walls within one hundred yards. Never beholding any of their race but the queen and a few dried-up and ugly spinsters, the poor creatures vegetate, mindless and joyless.

Having heard, accidentally, that my form had been praised in the presence of the queen, I hastily escaped from this unnatural and execrable land:

--Fear to my feet gave wings.

Continuing my course still to the east, I came to the philosophical-land, as its inhabitants, who are princ.i.p.ally engaged in the study of philosophy and the sciences, vain-gloriously call it. I had long and earnestly wished to see this land, which I enthusiastically ascribed to be the seat of the muses.

I hurried on with all possible celerity. But the roads were so full of stones, holes and bogs, that I was delayed, besmirched, and bruised.

However, I endured these troubles patiently, antic.i.p.ating the delights that awaited me, and well knowing that the path to paradise is not over roses. When I had struggled onward for an hour I met a peasant, of whom, after saluting him, I demanded how far distant the borders of Maskattia were? "You should rather ask," he replied, "how far you must go back;--for you are now in the very middle of it!"

In great astonishment I asked, "How is it, that a land inhabited by pure philosophers, should appear like the abode of wild animals and ignorant barbarians?" "Indeed," said the peasant, "It would look better if the people could find time to attend to such trifles. At present they must be excused, for they have higher and n.o.bler things in their heads: they are now speculating about the shortest road to the sun. n.o.body can blow and swallow at the same time."

I understood the meaning of the cunning peasant, and left him, after getting the direction to the capital city, Casea. Instead of guards and the usual collection about the gates of a large town, hens and geese strutted about at their ease: in the crevices of the gate hung birds-nests and cobwebs.

In the streets philosophers and swine were mingled together, and both cla.s.ses being alike filthy, they were only to be distinguished from each other by form.

The philosophers wore a kind of cloak, of the color of which I should not dare to give an opinion, so thick was the dirt upon them. I was run into by one of these wise men, who seemed to be enraptured by some speculation.

"I beg pardon, master of arts!" I exclaimed, "may I ask of you the name of this town?" He stood for some time immovable, with closed eyes; then recovering somewhat from his trance, and rolling his eyes upwards, he muttered: "We are not far from noon!"

This untimely answer, which betrayed a perfect insensibility, convinced me that intelligence resulting from methodical and practical study is preferable to the torpid insanity incident to much learning.

I went on, hoping to meet with some sensible animal, or any body rather than a philosopher. In the market-place,--a very extensive square,--were a great many statues and pillars, covered with inscriptions.

I approached one of them to get, if possible, the meaning of the characters. While engaged in spelling the words, my back suddenly became warm, and immediately after I felt warm water trickling down my legs. I turned round to discover the fountain of the stream, and, lo! an abstracted philosopher was performing, at ease on my back, the same operation that the dogs do against the study.

This infamous trick excited my wrath, and I gave him a severe blow.

The philosopher regained his wits at this, and seizing me by the hair, dragged me around the market-place. Our struggles soon brought us both to the ground. Then a mult.i.tude of philosophers came running towards us, and having dragged me from under my opponent, beat me with their sticks till I became senseless. I was then carried to a large house and thrown into the middle of the hall. I now recovered in a measure from my ill treatment.

On seeing this, the wise man who first insulted me, recommenced to beat me, notwithstanding my prayers for mercy. I now learned that the intensity of no anger can be compared to the philosophical; and that the teachers of virtue and moderation are not called upon to practise the same. The longer my oppressor beat me, the more did his blood boil. At last there came into the hall four sophists, whose cloaks proclaimed them to be of a different cla.s.s from my late tyrants. They had some compa.s.sion for me, and soothed the rage of the others. I was taken to another house, and right glad was I to escape the hands of the bandits, and get among honest people.

I related to my protectors the cause of the calamity. They laughed heartily at the whole matter, and then explained to me that the philosopher, absorbed in deep thought, had mistaken me for a pillar before which it is customary, on certain natural occasions, to stop.

Just when I supposed myself in safety. I nearly gave up the ghost from fear. I was led into a dissecting room, filled with bones and dead bodies, the stench from which was intolerable.

After languishing in this disgusting den for half an hour, the lady of the house brought in my dinner, which she had prepared herself. She was very polite and amiable; but looked at me closely, and sighed continually. I asked the reason of her sorrow. She answered, "that she became sick when she thought of what I was to suffer."

"You have, indeed," she said, "come among honest people, for my husband, who lives in this house, is a doctor of medicine, and the others are his colleagues: but your uncommon figure has awakened their curiosity, and they have determined to take your internal structure into close consideration. In fine, they intend to cut you up, in the hope of finding some new phenomena in anatomy." I was thunder-struck at hearing these tidings. I cried out indignantly:

"How can people be called honest, madam! who entertain strangers only to cut them up?"

"You should stick your fingers in the ground," she replied, "and smell the land you have got into!" I begged her with tears in my eyes to intercede for me. She answered, "My intercession would be of no service to you: but I will endeavor to save you by other means." She then took my hand, carefully led me out by a back door, and guided me to the city gate.

Here I would have taken leave of my kind and gentle guide; but while manifesting my grat.i.tude in the most lively expressions, she suddenly interrupted my speech and signified her intention not to leave me till I should be in perfect safety. She would not be persuaded to return. We walked on together. Meanwhile she entertained me with just and sensible remarks on the customs and follies of the people. Afterwards she turned the discourse to more delicate matters. We were at some distance from the city. My soft companion adverted to the danger from which she had saved me, and suddenly demanded of me, in return, a politeness which was morally impossible.

She told me with much feeling and warmth of the unfortunate fate of females in this land:--that the philosophers, entirely absorbed by their speculations, and buried among their books, neglect to an alarming extent, the duties of marriage. "Yes," she continued, "I can swear to you, that we should be wholly undone if some polite traveller did not occasionally take pity on our miserable condition, and mitigate our torments."

I pretended not to understand her meaning, and showed the usual common-place and complacent sympathy.

But my coolness was as oil to the flame. I increased my pace. The poor lady, whose heart had hitherto been subjected to the sweet-smiling G.o.ddess, now changed to a fury.

I fled from my new danger. Fear and length of legs enabled me to outstrip her. Mingled with her shrieks, opprobrious epithets fell fast; the last I could distinguish were: _Kaki Spalaki_:--ungrateful hound!

I pa.s.sed on to other provinces, in which I found but little uncommon and peculiar.

I now thought that I had seen all the wonders of Nazar. But when I came to the land of Cabac, more curious and more incredible things were disclosed to my gaze. Among the Cabacans there is a certain cla.s.s without heads. These are born without that appendage. They speak through a hole in the middle of the breast. On account of this natural defect, they are generally excluded from offices where brains are thought to be useful. They are notwithstanding a serviceable cla.s.s: the most of them are to be seen at court; being gentlemen of the bed-chamber, stewards of the household, keepers of the harem, &c.