She cocked her head to the side, confused. "Of course she is. Why wouldn't she be?"

"I don't know . . . What happened tonight?"

Alyssa sighed heavily. "Lock the door and follow me. I don't want to wake Brooke."

John locked both the top and bottom lock then followed Alyssa to her room. The lights were off in the house, all the blinds closed tight.

Walking into the bathroom, John followed as she answered his questions. "Nothing is going on. I was in the bath tub when you called. My cell was on silent since I had just laid Brooke down for bed. I didn't want to wake her, but I didn't hear the vibration."

There went her down time. Pulling the plug from the drain, she shook her hand, water sprinkling around. Turning, she looked at John. "What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

John swallowed hard. Water slowly trickled down her legs onto the floor, and her robe fell open allowing him to see the outline of her plump breasts. He could see droplets on her chest and had the sudden urge to lick her dry. She looked like a mess, her eyes so tired and sad. He wanted to know was going through her mind, what caused her to look sad.

Taking a step forward, John asked, "Why didn't you go to work Alyssa?"

"How did you know I didn't go?"

"I showed up. I wanted to surprise you and say hi. When I got there, they said you called in. What happened?"

Alyssa glanced at the ground, embarrassed. "It's none of your business," she said softly.

"The hell it isn't," he growled. "You could have called me if you needed help."

"What do you care anyway?"

"Why did you call in?" he repeated, stalking toward her.

"It doesn't matter, Johnny. Just leave it alone."

"Yes, it does."

She blew out an irritated breath. "My babysitter bailed on me! Okay! That's why! I had no one to watch Brooke. So what was I supposed to do? Leave her alone? I had no choice!"

John closed his eyes and shook his head. She should have called him. He told her this a thousand times. Why wouldn't she just lean on him?

"We always have a choice, Alyssa. Always. You could have called me. I would've come over here to take care of Brooke, yet you didn't call. Why?"

"I don't want to have to call you," her voice cracked.

"Why the fuck not?"

Alyssa shook her head.

"Why, Alyssa?"

She stood up and walked to John with determination in each step. "Why? I don't know? I need to do this on my own. You do everything for me, and I need to stop relying on you like that."

"But that's the thing-you don't rely on me. Ever. I have to ask you to, and when I do, I have to beg for it. I feel like I'm pulling teeth sometimes. I offer to help yet you never call. It's always me. What's wrong with you?"

Alyssa flinched back.

"What's wrong, Alyssa?" He asked, closing the small distance between them.

"There's nothing wrong, but you help out so much already." She shrugged as if it was nothing. "That's why. If I get fired, I can find another job. It's just a waitressing job anyway."

John pinched the bridge of his nose. Jesus Lord this woman. She sure knew how to get under his skin.

"There's no need for that if you just let me help."

"I'm trying, I swear I am. I'm working on it," she whispered.

John loomed over her. "Why are you trying so hard, though? You've never had to before. What's going on?" Planting a finger under her chin, he tilted her face up. Her sad, blue eyes met his and he crumbled. "Let me in. You don't have to do this on your own."

Leaning down, he was ready to lay his lips to hers but he stopped himself within a centimeter from her mouth. Jesus, it was getting more and more difficult to hold back. He hadn't had sex in what felt like forever, not since the last time he and Alyssa had been together. And even though he was irritated, he still wanted her. She was standing before him in a robe, still wet and so naturally beautiful.

Whispering against her lips, he took a chance. "May I?" His eyes met hers and he waited for her answer.

She nodded very slowly.

The first nod was all John needed. He pressed his lips to hers in a bruising kiss, he wasn't holding back this time. This time she would feel just what it was that she did to him. She would feel that he wanted her, because he desperately did. Her soft pliant lips heated his whole body. Damn, he wanted her. Leaning into her, John pushed her up against the wall, feeling her body against his.

But it wasn't enough.

He needed more.

He always needed more when it came to Alyssa.

John reached down and grabbed her hips, feeling the terrycloth material in his hand. He needed to feel her skin against his.

He broke the kiss and laid his hand at the opening of her robe near her neck. With his forehead pressed against hers, and their eyes never leaving each other's, his fingers glided down her damp skin and a heated sigh rolled off her lips. His fingers danced over the plumpness of her breast until he met the material. He pushed her robe aside baring her chest and it caused his blood to stir at the sight of her pointed nipple. Her breathing was shallow, the outline of her collarbone showed with each breath. Goose bumps were visible on her chest and he reveled inside knowing it was from his touch.

John untied her robe, dropping the tie to the ground. His hands met her silky skin and she flinched, trying to close the robe.

"Don't," he begged.

"You don't understand . . ."

Rejection showed in his eyes. "Then make me understand, please."

Alyssa tried not to pull away, but she wasn't the same Alyssa she was before she got pregnant. She was worn, and used, with stretch marks embedded in her skin. She wasn't tight and elastic like she had once been. Not to mention she was absolutely terrified of sex again.

She took a deep breath and sighed. "Holding back and questioning you repeatedly about being here for Brooke goes back to my childhood. My father walked out when I was born and shows up every once in a while. I'm not on his mind or was ever his priority, and that hurts. How do I know you won't do the same thing?"

"The difference is that he walked out once you were born, I walked in after she was born. I don't want to leave, Alyssa."

At that, Alyssa burst into tears and John held her to his chest. "It's taking everything to open up again. I'm afraid of being hurt as badly as I was, so I pushed you away, and I'm sorry for that. I didn't want to, I just didn't know what to do." She was truly sorry and hoped he believed her.

John placed both hands against the wall near her head. Leaning down he said hoarsely, "I'm not going to force you, Alyssa, you know that, but know that I want you so bad. I have from the moment I saw your swollen belly. Even then I wanted to take you and make you mine. You were so beautiful, soft and round with my baby. Brooke is mine in every word. And so are you." John finished, planting his lips to hers and taking her in a breathless kiss.

Alyssa grabbed his neck, clutching John to her. She needed him as much as he needed her. She devoured his kiss as he gripped her hips, his hands roaming and kneading every inch of her backside as if he needed to touch every part of her. Heat flooded her core and a groan escaped her lips.

Alyssa fought hard to stifle her moans, but it was pointless. John's touch ignited a heat inside of her that she thought had long been extinguished. His fingers changed tempo and grazed her naked flesh then cupped her ass, right next to her sex.

Her wet sex.

Fuck yeah . . . John thought at the little sounds she was making. Her fingers dug into his neck and his dick strained against his jeans. She felt so good against him that it took all of John not to take her right then and there.

"Johnny."

A guttural groan vibrated in his chest. He fucking loved when she called him that. "Don't worry, honey. I've got you."

John scooped Alyssa up and carried her into her darkened bedroom and laid her down. Her legs parted, and then closed up quickly.

"Don't, baby. Let me see you."

Alyssa gulped. "It's hard, Johnny. I'm not like how I used to be."

"I know."

Alyssa's eyes rounded in surprise. Before she could say anything he shook his head and said, "You're even better than before. Don't worry about how you used to be. I want you now and that's all that matters." He said, placing his hands on her knees and slowly opening her up. "I want you," he repeated, looking in her eyes, forcing her to believe his words.

Alyssa sucked in a breath and John's eyes widened. Damn. If he thought Alyssa was beautiful before, well, he was dead wrong.

The post pregnancy Alyssa was stunning. She had small, lush curves and weight to her bones that he wanted to feel all night long.

"Fuck yeah," he grumbled, arching into her. His dick was rock hard and ready to sink into her. Alyssa struggled to keep herself together, he could tell as she chewed on her lip. But John couldn't resist. He leaned down and took her mouth, capturing her kiss. She made a little sound, wrapping her arms around his neck. She held him tight. His chest ached knowing she was holding back by the touch of her trembling fingers.

"It's okay," he mumbled against her mouth. "I'm here, honey." His fingers slid along the crease of her breast and ribs, his thumb rubbing in circles.

"Sit up," he ordered. He slid the robe down and took it off, flinging it over his shoulders. "Alyssa," he groaned, staring at her. John cupped her much fuller breasts and he almost came in his pants. Fuck, he wanted her more than ever. He needed her so bad he ached.

"Alyssa. I want you."

"You do?" she asked with doe eyes. "Even with all my stretch marks? I look terrible." Her heart pounded against her ribs at John's admission.

John's eyes were filled with arousal. He cupped her face and said, "So. Fucking. Bad. Your body after pregnancy doesn't bother me. If anything, it makes me want you even more. You're so incredibly sexy that it pains me to hold back when you tell me to stop. I want you, stretch marks and extra weight and all. Just know every time . . ." he said, looking away shaking his head. "I want you. Even when you were pregnant, I wanted you so fucking bad it hurt, but I knew you weren't in the right frame of mind so I held off, but knowing you need me now, and you're refusing it, it kills me. You have no idea how bad it kills me inside. I want to make everything better for you."

"I'm sorry . . ." she sniffled.

Sitting up, she reached for John. She cupped his cheeks in her palms and whispered, "Truth is, I'm scared, Johnny. I'm truly scared to open up and allow you into me, into my body, but into Brooke's life as well. It's hard. I don't want to push you away, but I can't stop it from happening either. I'm petrified you're going to leave. Tell me that I'm wrong. Fight against me. Push and shove and tell me no, that no matter what I do that you'll be there. Just be there, Johnny. Even when I say no over and over. I'm stubborn and hard headed. I don't want to push you away, I swear, but it's a defense mechanism that I can't stop. You want us, both of us so bad? So fight for us and show me I'm wrong. Just. Be. There. Can you do that? Please?"

Alyssa trembled inside. Her jaw quivered and her eyes watered.

"Alyssa, I promise I'm not going anywhere, but you're asking for so much. To go against you like that? How will I know when I've pushed too far?" Her shoulders dropped. No, that's not what he wanted to happen. He got his words wrong. "I meant you're asking for a lot, meaning for me to push your boundaries. You're putting your trust in me, and I have to hold the responsibility. I don't want to hurt you, Alyssa, because I think I could."

She swallowed. "Maybe I need you to push me. Even when I say no, just do it."

"Alyssa . . ." he kissed her tears away. His nose grazed her cheek then along her jaw and back up so their lips would touch. They hovered in front of each other, breathless, waiting for the next move.

"Just do it . . . I want you," she confessed. Deep down she knew he would never truly hurt her the way Ben did.

"There's no going back once I start. Are you sure?" his voice sounded like gravel. He almost didn't recognize it.

She nodded. "Positive."

"Get the monitor and bring it into the room just in case Brooke wakes up."

Alyssa's heart melted knowing Brooke was on John's mind. She grabbed the monitor from her bathroom and headed back into her room. The sight before her stopped her in her tracks. He was on her bed naked, his perfectly honed body made her mouth water.

"Uh uh. None of that. Get your ass over here."

As she tilted her head to the side, John said, "I see the look in your eyes, and I know what you're thinking. Come here, honey. Don't shy away from me."

Step by step, Alyssa placed the baby monitor on her dresser then made her way over to the bed. She pressed a knee onto the mattress but before she could take another step, John reached over, grabbed her by the waist and hoisted her to him. She yelped, surprised by how fast he moved. Gulping hard, she looked into John's eyes as she lay naked on him. His knees where propped up, her ass pressed against his thighs where his cock cushioned her sex. Alyssa's cheeks flamed, heat rose to her face knowing John could feel how wet she was. One hand was on the small of her back, the other holding the back of her neck, trapping her on him.

"Shhh . . . Just relax, baby."

"I am relaxed," she lied, and he grinned. A panty melting kind of grin.

"You're such a liar," he chuckled. His fingers moved seductively across her lower back and she shivered in his hold. John flicked his chin up then captured her mouth with his. Their tongues wrapped around each other naturally, warmth seeping through and connecting them. John began slowly rolling his hips up, his cock sliding up and down her wetness. His fingers threaded through her hair and gripped the back of her neck. John lapped at her lips slowly and methodically. If she wanted him to fight for her, then he would break her down with his touch and make her beg for him.

Pulling back, Alyssa asked against his lips, "Am I too heavy for you?"

John's brow arched and a smile tugged at his lips. He brushed the damp strands of hair away from her face. "Are you serious right now? No, Alyssa, you're not too heavy for me." He chuckled. "In fact, you feel perfect in my arms."

"Okay."

"Now give me those lips."

Alyssa's half smile flashed before she kissed John. As he thrust his hips into hers, heat coursed through her blood and she found herself moving at the same tempo as John. It was sexy, and it was hot. It was what she needed. They held on to each other while their hips rocked slowly back and forth. Heavy breathing and deep breaths were the only sounds in the room.

Nibbling on her bottom lip, John wrapped his arms around her back and then rolled them over. A startled Alyssa stared up at him and he grinned. Her skin glimmered from the bathroom light that dimmed the room. Her rosy nipples puckered. They were much pinker and larger than he remembered.

"They grew," she said softly, answering his question.

"I know that, Alyssa. I just didn't know they'd go from light pink to dark pink or so big."

Alyssa's smile faltered. She brought her arms to her chest to cover herself. She told him she wasn't the same as before . . .

John sat back on his heels. "Stop." He reached for her wrists and gripped them.

"No. I told you I wasn't the same," she pulled away.

"And I told you I like you the way you are," he reminded her. John laced his fingers through hers and placed their joined hands by the sides of her head. She wanted him to push? He was going to.

He slanted his mouth over hers and stretched out down her body. One leg was bent under her knee while the other was laid out by her side with his hard cock nestled in her sweet folds. He kissed her senseless until she held still. John leaned down and traced his tongue around her areola until every part was wet from him. Alyssa groaned so seductively that his cock twitched. He tongued her nipple with no reserve, nibbled and pulled on it until she was pushing her hips into his. She fought under his hold, but he wasn't letting up.

"Johnny . . ." she moaned.