"Please don't make promises you can't keep. I've had enough broken promises to last a life time, Johnny.

John didn't come home the next weekend. Or the weekend after that. Or the next.

In fact, the last time she saw him was when he came home briefly for Christmas, two months ago. At this point she was in her ninth month and ready to pop at any minute.

Alyssa missed John fiercely. She yearned for him on a daily basis, but she learned to live without him even though his absence was all around her. It wasn't easy being surrounded by his loving parents while living in his room, but what choice did she have? Aside from their daily texting, he wasn't actively there. Many times he told her he could come home, but she vetoed against it. She could hear the exhaustion in his voice and didn't want to add to it. Plus, she'd been working at Roxie's Diner a lot so it's not like they would get much time together anyway.

Who knew? He probably had a girlfriend now and wasn't counting down the minutes like he said he would be. And he had every right to have one. He was insanely attractive with a big heart and Southern charm to boot. What's not to like about John? His green eyes and cute as hell dimples caused a stirring in her belly. Every time she thought about him, her heart kicked up.

Shit. She missed him. So. Fucking. Much.

Lying back on the bed, she rubbed her belly while she elevated her feet. They throbbed from being on them all day long at the diner. She purchased comfortable shoes, but that didn't seem to be enough. As much as she loved being pregnant, she couldn't wait to hold her son in her arms. Her stomach was growing every day and her back was bending at an ungodly angle.

Alyssa agreed to not move out once the baby was born. John didn't like the idea of her being alone, and his parents wanted to help her. They said it would be too much too soon. And honestly, she was worried about being alone with a newborn. As much as she read up on babies, she knew nothing could prepare her for what it would be like.

Seeing someone as tough and sweet as Diane suffer from Multiple Sclerosis made Alyssa feel bad. Some days you'd never guess she was in pain dealing with side effects. Clark was always by her side trying to help and comfort the tiny little woman. He loved Diane something fierce, as it showed in his eyes. Alyssa could only pray for a love like that one day.

After pulling a double at the diner, Alyssa was beyond exhausted. She yawned, closing her eyes for a moment. Her body relaxed on the comfortable bed. Sleep came easy these days. She felt herself sinking away.

Just as she was about to nod off, she felt a tightening in her stomach. Alyssa gasped, holding her belly. It lasted for a couple of seconds and then released. It was something that had never happened before and it scared her. A few more minutes passed without pain and she began nodding off again. A vibration woke her next. Alyssa groaned. She just wanted to sleep.

Reaching for her phone, she read the caller IDYours Truly. Alyssa smiled to herself thinking back to when John added the contact name for himself. It felt like many moons ago.

Yawning again, she answered. "Hello?"

"Hey, baby." Alyssa smiled, hearing the drawl in his voice.

"Hey yourself."

"Were you sleeping?"

"Not really . . . just nodding off a little. What's up?"

"Want me to call you back tomorrow?"

"No, it's fine . . . I expected you to be sleeping."

"I couldn't sleep." He paused. "I was thinking about you too much. I wanted to hear the sound of your voice before I went to bed."

Alyssa melted. "You're so-" Alyssa gasped and clutched her stomach. "Shit."

"Alyssa? What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she said between clenched teeth. "Nothing is wrong."

"Don't lie to me. What just happened?"

"My stomach . . . It's weird . . . I've never felt this before . . . it's tightening up and squeezing together."

"Is it contractions?"

Alyssa paused. "Okay . . . It's gone." She released a breath of air. "I don't know? Don't you think I would know if I had a contraction?" She was utterly clueless. "I imagine it would be much worse, right?"

"Where's my mom? Go ask her."

"Johnny, it's midnight and she's sleeping. I'm not waking her up."

"Dammit Alyssa! What if something is wrong with the baby?"

"There's nothing wrong with him. And it passed."

John was quiet. He wished he could be there for her instead of four hours away. "How long does it last?" He knew next to nothing about pregnancies which just made him realize what an asshole he was because he should have read up on it.

"Just a few seconds."

"Well, if it happens again you better tell me. I don't care what time it is, tell me."

"Okay-"

"You there?" he asked.

"Yeah . . . Oh shoot. It's doing it again."

"For the love of God," he gritted. "Go get my mother."

A few seconds passed. "Phew. It's gone. So tell me, what kind of training are you doing now?"

"Don't think I don't know what you're doing." Alyssa chuckled from the other end of the line. "It's hard to say because each day is different, so I never know what to expect. Aviation is intense and extremely challenging, but I love it. There are so many different areas to learn. Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever be able to learn all of it."

"When will you be done?"

"About another few weeks then I'll be going to my station."

Alyssa's bit her lip. She hoped he wasn't placed far away, or in another country. "Where's that?"

"My base will be MCAS Beaufort, South Carolina."

"What does MCAS mean?"

John smiled. He could hear the tiredness in her voice. "Marine Corps Air Station."

"Oh. I should've figured that out," she laughed shakily. "So," she took a deep breath, "I have the arraignment coming up with Ben." Just saying his name made her shiver.

"When's that? I can try and see if I can get down there for it."

"John, please don't take this the wrong way, but I don't need you to hold my hand. I'm not a child. I can do things on my own. Plus, I don't think it would look good for Ben to see you. He might get the wrong idea."

"I know you're not a child, Alyssa, but it doesn't hurt to have someone supporting you there." He paused, growing agitated. "And the wrong idea how?"

"You know, thinking we're a couple and all. I don't need any more drama in my life."

"Just curious, what are we?"

She bit her lip. "Nothing? Friends?"

"Nothing," John deadpanned. "Nothing?" Was she serious?

"What do you want me to say, John? I need to figure my life out. You're away. We're friends like we always have been. Nothing more."

A tick worked in his jaw. "I see. Well, friend, I'll talk to you later. I have to be up early."

"John-"

Click.

John hung up. He had to or else he was going to lose his shit. They were nothing? Since when? They were always something, and definitely not nothing. That word left a sour taste in his mouth. She was his, and he was hers. End of story. Did she not see that? That his heart was tied to her irrevocably?

Plugging his phone into his charger, John rolled onto his side. He'd love to go for a long run right now, but he needed to be fresh and awake for class tomorrow so that was out of the question. He'd go for one after class. John looked at the clock1:00 am. Damn. He had four hours of sleep to get.

He had a feeling it was going to be a restless night.

John groaned at the blaring alarm. His eyes felt like sandpaper and his head pounded. He was lucky if he got two full hours of sleep.

The conversation he had with Alyssa weighed heavily on his conscience, pretty much the sole reason he couldn't sleep. It didn't help that he hadn't seen her in months either. He regretted acting the way he did. She was under a tremendous amount of constant stress and like the asshole he was, he was only adding to it. But at the same time, they were just friends? John shook his head over the stupid word. They were definitely more than friends.

Knowing she was probably still sleeping, John sent Alyssa a quick text.

I'm sorry for hanging up on you. Forgive me?

Standing up, John grabbed some clothes and headed to the private bathroom he shared with his roommates who were still asleep. He turned the water as hot as he could stand, stripped his clothes off leaving him in only his dog tags and then stepped in. The scolding hot water flowed over his shoulders, cascading down his back and his chest, slipping past his ripped stomach to his muscled thighs.

Just friends, John said to himself as he palmed his cock. They were not just friends two months ago when they were kissing on his bed. Friends don't do that. Friends don't touch friends the way they do. Friends don't look at each other with heat, passion, intense need. And friends don't lean on each other in the way they do, running to one another at their darkest hour.

But if she wanted to be just friends, that's all she would get from him then. Friendship. He'd give her some space to work things out and wait. He wouldn't call or text, he wouldn't drive home to see her. He'd wait for as long as he could, until she was ready.

John stroked his cock slowly and groaned. Damn. He hadn't been laid in months.

He was ruined for anyone else. Another stroke . . . And John moaned, squeezing the head tight. He thought of Alyssa and her cute belly, her beautiful ocean colored eyes. Another pump in his hand. He thought about the first time he kissed her, the way her lips felt against his, so soft and sweet. The first time he made her go four wheeling that led to their first time making love. The way . . . John groaned loudly at the thoughts going through his head as he pushed his hips forward. The way it felt when he slid into her for the first time, her thighs squeezing him the way she squeezed his shaft. John picked up the pace, caressing his dick and thrusting his hips into his hand. The way she looked at him each time they were together. Even under the hot shower, he shivered thinking about making love to Alyssa again. His balls tightened, his orgasm impending. John leaned against the wall, holding himself up with one hand as he continued to pump his shaft. He was so close . . . the blood was rising and his heartbeat sped up as he stroked faster. Almost . . . There . . . So . . . Close . . . One more stroke and John saw stars as he orgasmed into his hand. He tightened his grip around his cock feeling the straining veins along the side and twisted it up and down, drawing out the overdue orgasm as long as he could. Sweet Jesus that was heaven on earth. It was exactly what he needed.

John stepped out of the shower, toweling dry his body. He wiped the mirror with his palm. His chest was beet red and his eyes had bags under them. He grabbed his phone to check the time and noticed a text from Alyssa. He hadn't expected her to be awake.

You're forgiven.