She puckered her lips together. "Mason I could do, but then I'd always think of Mason jars so I guess I can't."

"How about Dierks? Like the country singer? He's incredible."

"A country-"she stopped to regain her composure. "John-I just can't. Not happening." No way was she naming her kid after some country singer she never heard of.

"Kip?"

"Is that another country singer?"

His lips formed a tight thin line. He tried to hide his smile but it was useless. John laughed and said, "You should see your face right now."

John was purposely provoking her. He had to be. There was no way he could be serious. "You want to name my kid after a country singer?" she said, horrified. "Since I'm carrying him for nine months, I should be able to pick the name. How about Ethan?"

John looked at the ceiling. "I could do Ethan. I like that name," and Alyssa smiled.

"Or we could name him Kayne . . ."

Alyssa's eyes thinned, glaring daggers at John. She opened her mouth to speak, but John burst out laughing. "I'm just playing with you." She laughed and then playfully pushed John. He grabbed her wrist and held it to his chest. It was so hard for him to keep his hands off of her.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing?"

"Liar."

"Come here," he urged. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

Silence enveloped them, and the only sound in the room was the spinning fan. Her breathing deepened. She scissored her legs, trying to play it off as if she was just moving into a new position, but the truth was his touch lit a fire inside of her. His fingers trailed her hips and close to her butt and a sigh rolled off her lips. John scooted closer to her and continued.

"Feel good?" he asked.

Her eyes rolled shut. "Yes," was barely above a whisper. She shouldn't like his touch right now, but she did. She craved it.

John grabbed for her thigh and hiked it up over his hip. Alyssa was wearing small shorts. What had she called them? Boy shorts? It didn't matter. All that mattered was feeling every inch of her skin and making her feel good and seeing her smile. In spite of their current situation, she still got under his skin.

Trailing his fingers along her waist and down her hips, he traced past her shorts to her sex, and she took a deep breath, inhaling loudly . . . and Those. Damn. Breasts. Rose. High. A groan reverberated in the back of his throat and she grabbed his wrist.

"Do you want me to stop?" he asked, hoarsely.

Opening her sleepy eyes, she said, "No. Your touch relaxes me."

"Then why did you stop me?"

"Because your touch is a lot to handle right now."

John paused, slightly confused. "Is that a good thing or bad thing?"

Alyssa smiled shyly. "It's a good thing." She nuzzled closer to John, burrowing her head in the curve of his shoulder. She inhaled and sighed, draping an arm over John's stomach and slipping her leg between his. Safe. It's the first thing that popped in her head. She felt safe and secure in his arms.

"Your touch feels incredible," she said huskily. John continued running his nails gently down her side, over her shoulder and down her back, repeating the motion. He drew closer and his lips grazed hers.

Alyssa froze.

Pressed against her lips, he asked, "Why are you holding back?"

"Because . . . Because as much as I love how it feels, I think you should stop," she responded breathlessly. It was a partial lie. She loved his touch, but she wasn't right inside. She didn't want pity kisses and she feared that's what she would get. Alyssa had gotten herself into her current situation and she would get herself out.

"Why's that?"

She bit her lip. "Because I'll want more, you're making me want more, but right now is just not the time. And . . ."

John looked at her in anticipation. She rolled her bottom lip into her mouth and bit down. "I don't want you here just for sympathy or thinking a kiss will fix it all. I want you to do it because you want to for no reason other than to feel me, not because you feel bad."

Falling onto his back, John threw an arm over his eyes, sighing loudly. "You're way off, but I guess it's a good thing you pulled back. This wasn't very smart of me . . . I shouldn't have even touched you to begin with."

Hurt surrounded her eyes. "Is it because I'm pregnant? The bruises?" She wasn't even sure why she asked that.

"No."

"Then why?"

He stayed silent for a moment. "I just think we need to talk things out instead of fuck. And if I touch you I'm going to want to fuck you. So I shouldn't have touched you."

Alyssa flinched. The last thing she wanted was to have sex-ever again.

Rolling over, he positioned her face to meet his. "You want this?" he asked, thrusting his hard cock against her. She may have said nothing, but her eyes said it all. Alyssa wanted him even though she denied it.

"Have nothing to say? Well, I want you, and more. How's that? I don't just want to fuck you. I want all of you right now. Happy?"

"Go away," she said, pushing at his chest. She didn't like how crude he was acting.

"No." He didn't budge. "You couldn't push me off even if you tried with all your might. And you know what? I don't think you want me to go anywhere. I think you want me here, between your legs begging for you."

"John . . . Please . . ." she said, tears forming in her eyes, fear taking hold of her. That wasn't what she wanted. She just wanted to be held. "Just stop." Her heart was beginning to pound. "Please . . . stop."

John let go and she could breathe again. "It's not fair. Is it, Alyssa? Touching you was stupid because it only leads to things we can't have right now. You want me and I want you, but we have bigger things to figure out."

"We have nothing to figure out. I have stuff to figure out. On my own."

John abruptly let go of her arm. "You got another thing coming if you think I'm just going to up and leave and forget about you."

Why did that have to break her heart? Alyssa should be happy that she had someone as wonderful as John willing and wanting to be there. "You can't help."

"There's a possibility you could be carrying my child and you think I'm just going to walk away? What kind of man do you take me for? A piece of shit, like Ben?"

Her cheeks flamed, embarrassed. She turned her head and looked away. Unfortunately, the first thing that popped in her head was John hitting the road if this wasn't his baby. "No," she said softly. "You know I don't think that."

"Get up. Let's eat and figure this shit out. I don't have much time left before I have to leave."

Hurt, Alyssa slowly go out of bed. She held her stomach, pain searing through her ribs. She gasped and reached for John's bed. In seconds he was at her side.

"I'm sorry," he said, instantly feeling guilty. "I'm so sorry if I brought on this pain. I'm always fucking up."

"You didn't," she grunted.

"Then why are you acting like you're in agony?"

Her eyes narrowed at him. "That's because I am? Did you forget I have fractured ribs?"

Closing his eyes, he said, "Of course I didn't."

"Well, they hurt right now. It's going to take me a minute to get moving."

"Let me help you," he offered his hand.

"No," she said, pushing him away. "You won't be here tomorrow and I don't know when you're coming back, so I need to do this on my own."

As much as John hated it, he let her win. "Okay . . . you're right."

Standing up slowly, Alyssa let out a gush of air, the veins in her neck straining and then began walking to the bathroom.

She hated her life right now.

After lunch, John took Alyssa over to Luke's house. Luke wasn't home and John wanted privacy with her to go over everything. She needed him, and he was going to be there for her.

"Your brother's home is incredible," Alyssa said absentmindedly as she rubbed her belly. "The way the lake glistens . . . It's so peaceful out here. I feel like I don't have a care in the world."

"He did a great job with all of it."

When Alyssa looked at John with a fractured smile, he knew he'd made the right decision about coming here.

"Listen, Alyssa, I don't have much time left, so I feel like we should get to the point. I spoke with my parents last night well into the early hours. They want you to stay at their house for as long as you like. So do I. I'll be sending money to help you with whatever you need too so you don't have to worry." She went to speak up, but John stopped her. "Don't even argue with me on this. It's done."

Tears formed in her eyes at their generosity, including John's. "Why are they being so nice?" Her own mother had kicked her out and here were two strangers willing to do anything to help her.

"It's just who they are, they both have big hearts. They love knowing that this could be their grandchild, too. This is your home now."

Looking at John, her jaw quivered. "It must be where you get it from, too."

John softened. "Don't cry, honey. You know how I hate to see you cry," he said, wiping away her tears.

"I can't help it," she hiccupped. "It's these stupid pregnancy hormones."

John chuckled.

"I can't stay there without paying my way, and I don't want to stay once the baby is born, it wouldn't be fair to your parents. I'll need to figure out something soon."

"I'm sure ya'll could come to some type of agreement." Gently caressing her jaw, his voice dropped. "Did you know your eyes change color?"

"They do?"

His face softened. "Yeah . . ." he brought his thumb under her eye, careful not to touch the bruise there. "The outside is a vibrant blue, like a sapphire, but the inside near your pupil is a light green. It reminds me of a gemstone . . . or the ocean on a sunny summer day in Florida."

"Alyssa?" he asked when she kept quiet.

"Yeah?"

"I know I shouldn't after this morning, but can I kiss you right now? I really need to."

Her heart dropped. She shouldn't . . . "Why is that?"

"Because I need to feel your lips on mine . . . because I miss you." John shook his head, dropping his hand. What she didn't understand was that he wanted her because he just did. Why did he have to have a reason?

"What if . . ." she stammered. "What if it was only once?"

John closed the distance with his lips. He pressed into her softly, careful not to hurt her. Her adorable belly pushed against him and he slid his hands around her neck and threaded his fingers through her soft hair. He held her to him as he sought entrance to her mouth. A soft sigh escaped her throat and her hands trembled on his shoulders. John could tell she was tense through her touch because she never used to hold back before.

"Don't be nervous. It's just like before," he whispered against her lips.

Alyssa nodded and he kissed her again. She had to dig deep for the memories of her and John, the course of their friendship, and kissing for the first time otherwise fear would consume her.

This time she tried not to hold back, but it was a struggle. She'd forgotten the smell of him, the taste . . . and she wanted more. As they released their hearts into one another through their kiss, it all came back. His sandalwood, earthy scent hit her hard and she parted her lips. When their tongues collided, they both moaned deeply. Arms wrapped around one another and they held on tight, tongues lapping and caressing as if they couldn't get enough of each other. His lips on hers, the touch of his hands on her body . . . were everything in that moment.

But it was all too much too soon, and Alyssa broke the kiss and abruptly stood up from the swing. She was hot, droplets of sweat pooling between her breasts. "We need to stop." What the hell had she been thinking?

John sat back, taking a deep breath, he expelled it and arranged his pants.

"You're right. Come sit. I promise to keep my hands to myself this time."

Alyssa eyed him suspiciously before she sat down. "I don't trust you."

"You shouldn't. I want you," he said, giving her the grin that she fell for.

Alyssa eased onto the swing holding her stomach. The searing pain in her ribs caused her to grind her teeth. She was in agony and she couldn't do anything for it. The doctor had given her pregnancy safe medication for pain, but she wouldn't take it. She refused.

"You don't have to do this alone, I'm here for you. Let me be here for you."

She looked at John with tired eyes. "I'm trying, Johnny, I really am. I'm just worried about the future. It's not just about me anymore, I have another life I have to care for, and it scares the shit out of me"

John scooted closer to Alyssa. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and said, "When Jace died, I realized sweating the small stuff only created more problems for me to worry about. It was a headache I didn't need. So I decided that I was going to live each day like it's my last because tomorrow it could all be over. You have a lot on your plate, more than most people your age, but don't worry about the future right now. Everything will work out because I'm going to be by your side to make sure it does. You have a place to stay with people who want you around. What you need to focus on is recovering and staying healthy."

Alyssa was rendered speechless. How did he make everything sound okay? She had no idea what to say, so she just rested her head on his chest and threw an arm around his waist, nodding.

He kissed her forehead and she tried not to tense. "I'll be counting down the minutes until I can have you in my arms again."

Her heart tightened. "Don't say that," she said quietly. "You don't know when you'll be back."

"You're right-but I'll try my best to come home every weekend. I'll do what I can for you while I'm away, Alyssa. I promise."