He filled his hand with the weight of her breast and she met him kiss for kiss, touch for touch.

"Is it easier for you in the dark?" he asked.

"You're the one who preferred darkness."

Against her cheek he asked, "Do you imagine I'm Levi?"

Her body stiffened and she inched back to stare at him. "What a dreadful thing to say. Do you imagine

I'm someone else?"

"Of course not. You're perfect. Beautiful. I can't imagine anything better."

She looked stunned at those words and blinked up at him.

"You have something to compare," he insisted. "I doubt I equal my brother."

"You think I'm beautiful?"

He skimmed her jaw with the backs of his fingers. "Sometimes just looking at you hurts."

"I never knew."

"That you're beautiful? How could you not know? Didn't Levi tell you?"

"Levi told me a lot of things that weren't true. That's what I have to compare you to, Noah. A whole

pack of lies and empty promises."

"I'm sorry for what he did to you."

"You had nothing to do with it. Even so, you took responsibility for us, Rose and I. That's more than

Levi did."

"The fact that I'm taking care of you dulls the unpleasantness of my appearance, I'm sure."

She pulled away completely and sat up. "So I'd be here in bed with any man who would've been willing

to 'take care of me'?"

"I didn't say that."

"You suggested that I pretend you're someone else and overlook your scars so that you will take care of

me." "You have it all twisted now." "No, you have it all twisted." Noah caught himself before he replied. He'd been determined to change, but here he was asking her to compare him to his brother, feeling less. Feeling inadequate. As always. He should be proving to her he was the best man despite his looks. "Sorry, Katy. In my head I'm so sure of what you're thinking that I don't let you tell me."

She scooted back on the bed, wrapped her arms around her raised knees and looked at him. His first instinct was to hide, to turn away, to douse the lamp, but he sat under her perusal. "You told me once not to tell you what you're thinking, do you remember?" He nodded. "But you assume what I'm thinking, don't you?" Again he nodded.

"What am I thinking right now?"

He glanced at her toes peeking from beneath her nightdress, then back to her face. Her gaze traveled from his eyes to his chest and shoulders. "I only know what I think when I see myself," he said finally. "And I'm disgusted."

"I'm thinking I wish I could see you better. So I'd know what it is you think it so terrible that I'll turn away."

"I guess that's the chance I wasn't willing to take." He got up, found the match tin and carried it to the lamp on the wall inside the door. "Will the light wake Rose?"

Katherine glanced to where the baby lay sleeping in her cradle. "I don't think so."

Having an idea, Noah moved the dressing screen so that it shaded the baby and struck a match. The smell of sulfur permeated the room and once he lit the lamp, the tin reflector spread the glow.

He felt her gaze on him as he returned the match tin to the bureau and returned to the bed. With uncertainty, he looked for her reaction. It took all his determination not to flinch and turn away.

She wore a half smile. "I'm thinking you look strong. I like the width of your shoulders. And the muscles across your chest."

He came forward slowly and sat beside her.

"The focus isn't all on those scars, Noah. Once a person has seen them and experienced the initial questions, they just don't matter much anymore. Every time I look at you I won't be thinking the same things I thought the first time."

He'd never thought that far ahead because he'd never wanted anyone to see him in the first place. But she was right. She had to be.

Now that he thought back, she had never treated him as though she couldn't bear the sight of him. She'd been accepting while he couldn't accept himself. She'd been okay with him the way he was until he'd made her not okay.

She moved behind him and rose to her knees. She worked magic along his neck and shoulders with her hands. "When I look at you, I see strength and honor and courage. I don't see scars."

"How can that be?"

"Maybe because I'm not looking for them. Or because I'm looking past them. I can't explain it."

She delved her fingers into his hair and stroked his scalp. He tipped his head to look up at her and she leaned forward to frame his face. The kiss they shared was awkward until Noah shifted, stretching out and pulling her down on top of him.

Nothing was awkward after he framed her face with his hands and kissed her the way she liked. As their passion grew, he slid both hands under her nightdress so he could enjoy her satiny hips and stroke her back.

Katherine sat up and tugged the garment over her head, tossing it to the floor.

Noah drank in the sight of her in the lantern light. Her shoulders were sleek and pale, her breasts full and

lush. "Katy," he breathed.

She curled her fingers into the hair on his belly and tilted her head as though to ask a question.

"You're as beautiful as I pictured in my head. Better."

Even her smile was seductive. "I like it when you call me 'Katy.'"

Once he'd thought he would call her Katy if he were a different man. Now he realized he'd been thinking

of her that way for some time. The significance was not lost on him. "Katy," he said again.

She leaned forward to kiss him and he captured her breasts.

"Katy," he breathed between kisses.

"You do want me like this, Noah?"

Her question didn't register in his head for a moment. "Like what?"

"In this way. For lovemaking."

"How could you think anything else?"

"I don't know. At first you were reluctant. I felt like.. .like you were doing it because it was just another

of your duties, not because you wanted to."

"I want to."

"I want you to need me."

He hadn't expected to need anyone this way. She was sustenance and life to his once-deprived soul. "I

do. I need you so much it hurts."

He took his fill of looking at her. He touched and kissed each delectable sight, tasting her skin, loving her sighs and whispers. There were few activities during which Katy didn't talk. He'd discovered them all: while she slept; early in the morning; and those tense drawn-out moments before he brought her release.

Afterward, Noah lay on his back, the sheet draped over his groin, and allowed Kate to see the scars on his legs.

"Turn over," she said, and he obeyed.

She straddled him and massaged his back and shoulders, then moved aside and pulled the sheet down to look at the rest of him. "You've seen it all," he said.

"Almost."

He frowned. "What else?"

She urged him onto his back and threaded his hair away from his face, then studied him.

It was all he could do not to turn aside, but he fought back his instincts and let her look. And waited for

a reaction.

"Thank you." she said finally.

"For what?"

"For trusting me this much."