Chapter Fourteen.

Estelle did come for a short visit. Kate thanked her for taking care of Rose. "I was glad to do it, dear. You know you can call on me anytime." "That's comforting to know." Noah told Estelle when it was time to go, and she gathered her skirts and whisked past him. Annie visited her, too, bringing her a bottle of rose water. Kate unscrewed the cap. The scent immediately reminded her of Noah and his roses. The delicate fragrance had become a familiar comfort and it reminded her of her new home.

"I want to go home," she told Annie, and her friend went to get Noah.

"He's gone to get his buggy." Annie gathered Kate's belongings. "It's so good to know you're feeling better. We were all worried. I was concerned you'd be asleep for so long your milk would dry up."

"Before I got so bad, Estelle was bringing Rose to me."

"Thank God."

Kate realized then that if Estelle had had any mean intentions toward her, she could have kept the baby

away entirely, but she hadn't. On the other hand, she knew breast milk was best for Rose.

Once Kate was dressed, they found the doctor and his wife in a parlor near the front door.

Annie insisted Kate sit on a chair while she held Rose.

"Your husband has been so attentive to your needs," Mrs. Martin told Kate. "Can't say I ever knew the

man before this. Knew he lived out there and heard the tales, of course?most of them farfetched, I can

see now. He's a good man." It came to Kate then that Noah had been interacting with these people for the past couple of days. Another thought struck her, and she turned to Annie. "You said he went to get the buggy?"

"Yes."

"At Luke's livery."

Annie nodded.

"Why, it's right in town. He's been in town these past days."

Annie nodded, as did Mrs. Martin.

Noah avoided setting foot in town at all costs. The fact that he was here now amazed her.

"He went for the preacher, too," Doc told her.

"He did?"

He nodded. "Brought Reverend Davidson right here to your bedside to pray over you."

She was grateful, but she couldn't get too excited over something that didn't need more written into it

than was there. "He lost his mother when he was very young," Kate told them. "I'm sure he was afraid that the same thing might happen to Rose."

"Well, thanks to God and medicine, you're just fine." Annie leaned over to give her a hug.

Mrs. Martin moved aside her curtains to announce, "He's here."

Kate thanked her before Doc and Annie walked her outside. Noah jumped down and helped Kate into the buggy. Annie kissed Rose's forehead and handed her over. "I'll come see you," she called.

Noah seated himself beside Kate and lifted the reins over the horses's backs.

Kate was relieved to get back to the house. Marjorie fussed over her, but within a few days she was up and around, feeling better physically now that September was drawing to a close than she had in months.

She had Rose to take care of, and she loved her duties feeding, bathing, changing. But babies sleep a lot

and during those times, she was back to searching for ways to occupy her mind and hands.

Fall transformed the mountains into glorious displays of color. Kate admired the aspens from the porch and her bedroom window at least a dozen times a day. Noah had cut the last of the roses and she'd placed them in a jar of water on the kitchen table. There were any number of small pleasures to enjoy in

a day. Kate never forgot to be thankful for her new home. She had determined?and she was a very determined woman?that it was enough. When Kate had been so ill, Noah had realized that his solitary day-to-day existence was not enough.

He'd settled for less, because he'd never dreamed he could have more, but Kate had given him the gift of hope. He'd told her he wanted a family, and she'd agreed her desire was the same. Still, acceptance was only one part of their relationship and he cautioned himself not to dream that love would ever be in the equation.

With the oppressive summer heat gone, days were comfortable and nights downright cool. Their evenings together were now spent in the parlor with a fire warming the room. Kate sewed while Noah held and rocked Rose. He came in earlier than he had when he'd been trying to avoid her. He'd made up his mind to be the man she needed and wanted, and to do that he had to change.

Nearly losing Kate had shown him what he had and what he'd been resisting all along, and he was determined to show her he could be the man she wanted. This part, the family part, was easy. He loved Rose and her sweet baby smell. Whenever she saw him, her eyes lit up and a toothless smile broke across her chubby face. She was as accepting as he'd once only hoped.

"We should take advantage of the warm days left. Shall we have a picnic tomorrow?" he asked Kate.

She glanced up, her expression interested. "Do you have time?"

He nodded. "It will be Rose's first picnic."

"She has the pram you ordered for her. We'll take it along for shade."

Kate put away her sewing and went into the kitchen, returning with a pail of water. "I'll pour these in our

basins, if you will carry Rose."

"My pleasure."

After placing the baby in her cradle, he went to his room and washed. Since Kate's illness, he hadn't

gone to her room. Changing was going to take every ounce of courage he possessed. But he couldn't continue his life the way it had been, not if he wanted more. Not if he wanted Katy. And he did.

Dressed only in his denims, he approached her door and knocked.

A minute later the light visible through the crack along the floor disappeared and she called for him to enter. Maybe it wasn't entirely for his benefit that she darkened the room. Maybe she didn't want to see.

His stomach felt uneasy. Maybe it was easier to endure his attentions in the dark.

She said what she thought, however. Unless it was unkind and she thought the truth would hurt his

feelings. If he tested her distaste, what would he learn?

Choosing to make a change, no matter how difficult, he found his way to the bureau and located the tin of matches by feel. He struck one and relit the lantern. The wick was set so that a low glow illuminated the room, creating long shadows.

He turned to find her watching him curiously from where she perched on the edge of the bed. He walked

toward her and her gaze lowered from his face to his chest.

It wasn't daylight, he told himself when he wanted to turn away. She could barely see the scars she'd already felt and knew existed.

"Tell me what you're thinking," he said.

She shook her head.

"Why not?"

"You'll be angry with me."

"You're thinking I' m not much compared to Levi."

Her eyes widened and she stared up at him. "No. No, I'd never think that."

"What then? What would make me angry?"

"I was thinking about the way you've hidden all these years, and it makes me sad."

"You couldn't say that?"

"You called it pity last time I mentioned what I was thinking, though that's not what I'm doing?pitying

you. A person can't help feeling...sorrow...or regret when they imagine another person's feelings." "So you're feeling sorry for me?" She looked away. "Say it. You feel sorry for me." "No, Noah." She met his eyes. "You do enough of that yourself." If she'd struck him, he couldn't have been more surprised. He stood in front of her, absorbing her words and their meaning. Feeling sorry for himself? Is that what he'd been doing? The accusation made him

angry, but denial wasn't ready on his lips. The more he thought about it, the more he understood what she'd just revealed. He'd been counting on her to say what she thought, but he hadn't been expecting that.

"Maybe there's some truth in that," he admitted finally.

"I didn't make you mad?"

"Always tell me the truth, no matter what."

"All right."

He eased beside her onto the bed and she turned to face him. He loved the way she looked at him with

trust in her eyes. He stroked her cheek, loving the satiny feel. Her braid lay across her breast, calling his

attention to her thin nightdress. Noah leaned forward to kiss her and she raised a palm to his shoulder. Within moments the sweet blaze of passion drove him to deepen the kiss.