'Well, supposing we did build a great wooden horse, and fill the thing with soldiers, why on earth should the Trojans drag it into the city? They'd be far more likely to burn it where it stood

and a pretty lot of fools we should all look then! Especially the soldiers!' he added, after a pause.

'No, especially us,' Steven pointed out, 'after Odysseus got through with us! I'm afraid you're right, Doctor. And that being the case, you'd better hurry up and think of something else.

We've only got forty-eight hours, remember!'

'Forty-two now, in point of fact,' said Odysseus pleasantly, climbing out of a sort of hatch-way, and swatting a wasp with a paint-brush. I suppose he'd been down in the bilges, caulking or whatever it is you do in bilges. 'Haven't you thought of anything yet?'

'Nothing of any particular value,' admitted the Doctor, 'at least, nothing to bring about the fall of Troy. But I have have thought of some conditions of my own.' thought of some conditions of my own.'

'That's very presumptious of you, I must say. I really don't see how you're going to enforce them. But you may as well tell me what they are, I suppose. After all, it's your time you're wasting not mine.'

'It's simply this: if I'm to help you sack the city, then you must promise that Vicki will be spared.'

I was glad he'd remembered her at last. I was beginning to wonder. Odysseus looked puzzled. 'Vicki? What's that? And why should I spare it?'

'Oh, do pull yourself together, and pay attention!' said Steven rather unwisely I thought. 'I told you about Vicki only this morning. And if they have taken the TARDIS into Troy, then she's probably still inside it.'

'I hope so, for her sake,' acknowledged Odysseus, 'because, if she left it, they'd a.s.sume she was one of our our spies; and, in that case, I'd say she's probably past worrying about by now.' spies; and, in that case, I'd say she's probably past worrying about by now.'

'We can't be sure of that,' said the Doctor.

'Perhaps not but I really don't see what you can expect me to do about it? You don't imagine, do you, that if and when we enter Troy, I shall have time to ask every young woman I see if she's a friend of yours, before I cut her throat? It just wouldn't be practical.'

'Then,' said Steven, 'let me me go now, and try to get her out before you attack. After all, I'm no use to you here. The Doctor can manage very well without me.' go now, and try to get her out before you attack. After all, I'm no use to you here. The Doctor can manage very well without me.'

Odysseus rubbed his chin with the paint-brush fortunately without noticing. Bluebeard, the bigamous pirate, to the life! 'I hope you don't think it's as easy to get into Troy as you suggest?

If it were, I'd have done it myself years ago, and the war would be over by now.'

'I'm not proposing to break break in there are other ways.' in there are other ways.'

'Oh, are there indeed?' He yawned, inhaling a certain amount of paint. 'You must tell me about them sometime. At the moment I happen to be rather busy. Dam' barnacles get in everywhere,' he explained, preparing to descend to his bilges again.

'Listen a moment,' Steven persevered, 'it's quite simple. You You can't afford to let yourself be taken prisoner I can!' can't afford to let yourself be taken prisoner I can!'

Odysseus looked as near to pitying as he ever would. 'You really are anxious to die, aren't you? They'd take you for a spy, as we did.'

'Not if I were wearing uniform. I should be a prisoner of war.'

For a moment I was afraid Odysseus was going to laugh again. But wiser tonsils prevailed, and he spat out a gob of paint instead. He regarded it with astonishment and then returned, a trifle subdued, to the subject under discussion.

'Hmm... I'm not sure what they're doing with their prisoners of war at the moment. It may may be just imprisonment, as you said. On the other hand, it may be hanging in chains for the vultures. Depends on how they feel at the time, I imagine. An unpredicatable lot, the Trojans.' be just imprisonment, as you said. On the other hand, it may be hanging in chains for the vultures. Depends on how they feel at the time, I imagine. An unpredicatable lot, the Trojans.'

'I'm prepared to take the risk, if you're prepared to let me go.'

You could tell Odysseus was impressed, because he said so.

'You know, that's really very brave of you...!'

'Then you'll help me?'

'I don't see why not. And, of course, if you can manage to kill a couple of them before you let yourself be captured, we shall all be very grateful. Every little helps. And, as you say, you don't seem to be of any particular use here.'

'All right I'll do my best. What about a uniform?'

'Can't help you there, I'm afraid you'd look ridiculous in one of mine; altogether different fitting. Wait a minute last week my friend Diomede died of his wounds on board and they don't know he's dead so you can take his ident.i.ty as well as his armour. I'm sure he wouldn't mind, under the circ.u.mstances.

You'll find his things up for'ard and you're about his size, so, off you go.'

'Thank you, Odysseus I'll try to be worthy of them.'

Tactful, I thought. A good lad.

'I'm sure you will be. I should have been quite distressed to have put you to death myself.' And he looked quite as if he meant it. So off Steven popped and Odysseus turned to the Doctor: 'Well, now,' he said, 'after that, I hope you're you're not going to disappoint me?' not going to disappoint me?'

'I sincerely hope not. Tell me have you thought of tunnelling?'

'It's been tried. The men won't work the hours. No, what we want is something revolutionary.'

'Dear me! I wonder have you considered flying machines?'

Oydsseus raised an eyebrow, as with a winch. 'I can't say I have,' he admitted, 'tell me about them...'

'Flying machines, indeed! Enough of his nonsense!' I thought.

'It's time for my siesta.' For, in fact, the boar-chops were beginning to lie rather heavy so I padded stealthily out of earshot and made a cautious way back to the plain, where there was a shady tree of which I had pleasant memories.

Just before I went to sleep, I remember thinking, 'Perhaps I'll give Hesperides a miss this year, after all. This is where the action's going to be, however eventually! And when it happens, it's sure to make good copy: The Fall of Troy an eye-witness account from your man in Scamander!'

Eye-witness? Well, Zeus be thanked, we don't know what to expect until it hits us!

Next time if there is one the Hesperides!

14.

Single Combat You will hardly believe this, but for the second time in twenty-four hours I was woken up by the sounds of battle or by what I at first took to be the sounds of same or by its vocal preliminaries, shall we say? Which, as we have seen, tend to be long and orotund, when compared to the usually brief and b.l.o.o.d.y sequel.

But, of course, I had forgotten that the war-like Paris was patrolling the plain, seeking whom he might devour as per definite paternal instructions. So he was almost bound to make at least some sort of vengeful gesture, if he wanted his supper to be kept warm for him.

'Achilles!' he was calling quietly, 'Come out and fight, you jackal! Paris, the lion of Troy and brother of Hector, if you remember? seeks revenge!'

There was, of course, no reply; not even an echo from the ramparts, which weren't entirely sure they'd heard correctly.

He mopped his brow, and after a moment's thought enquired gently, 'Do you not dare to face me?'

And suddenly to the vast surprise of those present, there was was an answer. ' an answer. ' I I dare to face you, Paris. Turn, and draw thy sword!' dare to face you, Paris. Turn, and draw thy sword!'

And, so help me, out of the bushes stepped Steven, looking every inch the long-awaited folk-hero, returned to save his people!

Well, he could have his people, and welcome, as far as Paris was concerned he wasn't going to stand in anyone's way, that was quite obvious. But rallying swiftly, he put his finger on the flaw in Steven's suggestion. 'Ah,' he said, wagging a fore-finger, 'but then you you are not Achilles, are you?' are not Achilles, are you?'

'I am Diomede,' said Steven, 'friend of Odysseus,' he added, to establish his credentials.

Paris smiled with relief, and took the way out so kindly offered. 'Diomede, I do not seek your your blood I seek Achilles!' blood I seek Achilles!'

He turned to continue the search; but Steven tapped him on the shoulder. 'And must Achilles, then, be roused, to undertake the death of such as you, adulterer?'

I must say he'd hit off the style to the very last alpha and delta most impressive! You'd have thought he'd been talking like that ever since drama school. But Paris took the question as being rhetorical and never mind the insult: 'I... er... I'm prepared to let that pa.s.s, for the moment. I a.s.sure you, I have no quarrel with you, Diomede!'

Not what Steven wanted at all. He resorted to out-dated patriotism. 'I am a Greek, and you a Trojan! Is that that not quarrel enough?' not quarrel enough?'

'Well, perhaps, in a general way,' conceded Paris, gracefully, 'but personally I think this whole thing has been carried a great deal too far. I mean, they should have let Menelaus and me settle it by the toss of a coin, like gentlemen...'

This was becoming far more difficult than Steven had antic.i.p.ated. He tried again. 'You are no gentleman, Paris! I've never thought so, and now I'm sure of it. Neither is Menelaus, come to that...' he added, letting the style slip a little. Never mind it worked: Paris stiffened indignantly.

'Now be very careful! You're taking everything far too seriously. Besides, are you aware you're speaking of one of your commanding officers? And And one of my oldest friends, come to that? The Helen business was just a misunderstanding.' one of my oldest friends, come to that? The Helen business was just a misunderstanding.'

'Which I now propose to resolve,' parried Steven, neatly.

'Draw thy sword, I say!'

To my astonishment, Paris began to do just that although, as if he'd read somewhere that slow motion indicated menace.

'Very well,' he contrived to growl, 'but you'll be sorry for this, I promise you!'

'That is a comfort, Trojan; I would not trust you to keep a promise!'

There was no stopping the boy: but I thought he might perhaps have overdone it now, because for the first time, Paris looked angry. A chap can only take so much, after all.

'Now there,' he said, 'I'm afraid you've gone very much too far!' And suddenly he was no longer the fool and coward he had looked and sounded; but a remarkably efficient swordsman, out for the kill.

Fortunately for Steven he was quick on his feet, and managed to dodge the first astonishing a.s.sault: but obviously you can't keep that sort of thing up for ever, if you haven't the remotest idea how to use a sword yourself. So he did the only thing possible under the circ.u.mstances; pretended to trip, fell on one knee, and as Paris moved in triumphantly for the death blow, said 'I yield!'

Paris was completely disconcerted. 'I beg your pardon?' he enquired.

'I yield I am your prisoner!' added Steven, clarifying the position.

'Oh, but, now, look here that simply is not done... Surely you would rather die than be captured?'

'Well, yes, of course, as a rule I would,' admitted Steven; 'but little did I know when I challenged you, that you were indeed the very lion of Troy! I am not worthy to be slain by you.

I should have listened to my friends...'

'Really?' enquired Paris, interested; 'Why, what do they say?'

'That rather would they face Prince Hector aye, and Troilus, too than mighty Paris. You are said to be unconquerable.'

'Well, you really do astonish me! They don't say that in Troy...'

'Then they must learn to! Oh, I could tell them tales about your valour which would make even grey-haired Priam blanch to hear them...'

Paris glowed. 'I say, could you really?'

'Aye and will do! I pray Achilles may not meet you. Even now he prowls the plains and what would happen to our cause, if he he were vanquished?' were vanquished?'

'Yes, I take your point,' said Paris, looking round apprehensively. 'But if I have a prisoner, I hardly think I can oblige him at the moment, can I? There will will come a day of reckoning, no doubt; but not just now, obviously.... On your feet, Diomede! If that's your name? Now will I drive you like a Graecian cur into the city! Farewell, Achilles! For today, Paris, Prince of Troy, has other business.' come a day of reckoning, no doubt; but not just now, obviously.... On your feet, Diomede! If that's your name? Now will I drive you like a Graecian cur into the city! Farewell, Achilles! For today, Paris, Prince of Troy, has other business.'

Well, of course, like a fool, I wasn't going to miss a moment of this for anything; so off I trotted after them, back to the dear old impregnable fortress... just in time for a late tea, I hoped...

15.