Small Prophet, Quick Return From what I had heard the Doctor tell Odysseus, I suspected that the machine was pretty well indestructible anyway, but on the other hand, at the last count, one of our time travellers was missing. Or so Steven had told the Doctor; a young girl, if memory served and naturally I didn't want her to be barbecued in her prime. So I mingled with the mob, and raised my voice among the general hubbub; and I raised it in quite a long speech too, because, if you notice, people are so used to short, snappy slogans on these occasions, that, in my experience, n.o.body pays a blind bit of attention to them. I mean 'Funeral pyre, out, out, out!' would simply fail to grip. So, clearing my throat, I said: 'Wait! It's not for me to tell you how to run things, of course, but before you actually initiate an irreversible conflagration, should we not pause to ascertain if such a gift would be acceptable acceptable to the G.o.ds? It may, of course, be exactly what they've always wanted, but, on the other hand, if it does harbour treachery, as Ca.s.sandra maintains, then might it not seem as if you're trying to shuffle it off on them? Because they'd hardly be likely to thank you for that, would they? Just an idea thought I'd mention it.' to the G.o.ds? It may, of course, be exactly what they've always wanted, but, on the other hand, if it does harbour treachery, as Ca.s.sandra maintains, then might it not seem as if you're trying to shuffle it off on them? Because they'd hardly be likely to thank you for that, would they? Just an idea thought I'd mention it.'

Not easy to say that sort of thing in a populist bellow, but I managed fairly well, I think, because it certainly held them for the moment. Paris tipped me the wink and gave me the thumbs up, and even Priam stopped in mid-ignition to consider my remarks.

'Yes, that is is a point we don't want a lot of offended G.o.ds to deal with, on top of everything else. Have a word with them, will you, Ca.s.sandra? Better to be on the safe side.' a point we don't want a lot of offended G.o.ds to deal with, on top of everything else. Have a word with them, will you, Ca.s.sandra? Better to be on the safe side.'

She wasn't that pleased, but could hardly refuse, under the circ.u.mstances. Once more she struck that long-suffering att.i.tude of hers. 'O, hear me, you Horses of the Heavens, who gallop with our destiny! If you would have us take this gift, then let us see a sign. Show us your will, I pray you, for we are merely mortal, and we need your guidance.'

Well, Vicki, as I had hoped, must have been glued attentively to the scanners watching the preparations for her incineration with some concern, because she very sensibly took Ca.s.sandra's harangue as a cue to come amongst us. She stepped out through the doors like a sylph from a sauna, and inquired politely, 'You need my guidance? I shall be prepared to help in any way I can.'

The effect was electric. Paris beamed and would certainly have twirled a moustache, if he'd had one about him. 'This is no Horse of Heaven,' he noticed approvingly.

'This is no Spartan soldier either,' Priam observed.

'Then who who is she?' demanded Ca.s.sandra, obviously prepared to object, whoever she was. is she?' demanded Ca.s.sandra, obviously prepared to object, whoever she was.

'Ah, I'm no one of any importance,' said Vicki, decisively, 'but I do know a bit about the future, if that's what interests you?'

Well, of course it did like anything! Except that Ca.s.sandra naturally felt that she should have a monopoly on that sort of thing, and bristled accordingly. 'How do you so? You are no Trojan G.o.ddess. You are some puny, pagan G.o.ddess of the Greeks.'

'Don't be silly of course I'm not! I'm every bit as human as you are.'

'How comes it then, that you claim to know the future?'

'Oh, really, Ca.s.sandra,' said Paris, before Vicki could answer, 'you know you're always going on about it yourself.'

Having already bristled, Ca.s.sandra now bridled. 'I am a priestess, skilled in augury!'

'Yes, yes, yes all those dreary entrails, flights of birds and so on. We know. Well, perhaps this young lady's read the same ones?'

'Are you a priestess?' demanded Ca.s.sandra, prepared to make an issue of it.

'Not as far as I know. I mean, I never took any examinations, or anything.'

'Then how dare you practice prophecy?'

'Well, I haven't done yet, have I?' said Vicki, reasonably.

'You are some drab of Agamemnon's sent to spread dissension.'

It was Vicki's turn to bristle or bridle. She did both. 'What an idea! I'm nothing of the sort. Don't be coa.r.s.e.'

'Of course she isn't,' said Paris 'I can tell.'

'Why, I've never even seen Agamemnon,' persisted Vicki, 'I wish I had, but I haven't.'

'Oh, you wouldn't like him at all,' said Paris, 'not at all your type.'

Priam coughed. 'Your judgement of young women, Paris, is notoriously unsound!'

Paris joined the bridling bristlers. 'Well, I don't care what anyone says she's as innocent as she's pretty!'

'Then you'd better give her a golden apple, and get it over,'

said Priam making an obscure cla.s.sical reference. He turned to Vicki. 'Come here, child I wish to question you.'

Cautiously, like a trout observing a label on a may-fly, Vicki left the shelter of the TARDIS, and approached the king.

'That's right. Now then, tell me and you a Greek?'

'No,' said Vicki, 'I'm from the future. So you see, I don't have have to prophesy because, as far as I'm concerned the future has already happened.' to prophesy because, as far as I'm concerned the future has already happened.'

This was a facer, even for the wise old autocrat. 'Eh?' he inquired, 'I don't think I quite follow.'

'Of course, you don't,' snapped Ca.s.sandra, going in to bat again. 'She's trying to confuse you. Kill the girl,' she suggested spitefully, 'before she addles all our wits! If she isn't a priestess, then she's a sorceress, and deserves to die! There are standing orders to that effect.'

'Oh, don't be absurd, Ca.s.sandra you're not to harm her,'

said Paris, for the defence.

She turned on him like a viper if that's the snake I mean.

One of those frightfully quick ones, anyway 'You purblind satyr. Why, you're half enchanted already. Get back to your Spartan adulteress, before you make a complete fool of yourself again. I tell you, she must die!'

'I do wish you'd both be quiet for a moment,' sighed Priam, 'Now, you mustn't be frightened, child; you shall die when I say so, and not a moment before.'

'That's very comforting,' said Vicki.

'Good girl! There you see? Neither of you has any idea how to handle children. It only needs a little patience and understanding. Now, tell me first of all what is your name?'

'Vicki,' said Vicki.

'Vicki?' he repeated doubtfully. 'That's an outlandish sort of name, isn't it?'

'A heathen sort of name if you ask me!' contributed his bouncing daughter.

'n.o.body did ask you, Ca.s.sandra! Well, I really don't think we can call you Vicki far too difficult to remember. No, we must think of another one for you. A Trojan type of name, that won't arouse comment. What about... let me see what about Cressida? I had a cousin called Cressida once on my father's side of the family. Always liked the sound of it. Would that suit you, do you think?'

'It's a very pretty name,' said Vicki.

'Very well, then Cressida it shall be.'

'Thank you,' said Vicki, 'that's who I am, then.' And from that instant she was lost forever, and at last found her proper place in Time and History! For we are the prisoners of our names, more than ever we are of what we imagine to be our destinies. They shape our lives, and mould our personalities, until we fit them. We are only what our names tell us to be, and that is why they are so very important. And why, incidentally, the Doctor never revealed his own. It preserved his independence from Fate, and made him an uncla.s.sifiable enigma; which was an advantage in his line of work, as you will appreciate. I mean, supposing his real name had been... but no never mind! I digress again and that's tactless of me, when Priam was still speaking.

'Now then, Cressida, you claim to come from the future?'

She nodded modestly. 'So, presumably, you know everything that's going to happen?'

'Well, not absolutely everything, because, after all, I'm only quite young. There are lots of places and times I haven't been to yet.'

'Quite so. But on the other hand, I expect you know a good deal about this particular war we're having at the moment? Or you'd hardly be here, would you, now?'

She considered the question. 'Well to be honest, I only know what I've read. And I'm told a lot of that is only myth nothing at all to do with what really happened.'

Confound the girl! My book is essentially true although to be fair, I do embroider a bit here and there, for the sake of dramatic shape. Poetic licence, it's called but then, as I say, I hadn't written it at the time; so I was as much in the dark as the rest of them.

'Never mind,' said Priam, the cunning old fox! 'Look, Cressida come along into the palace, and you can, I'm sure, give me some some sort of indication of what to expect, a general outline of Greek strategy, as it were; and in any case, I expect you could do with something to eat?' sort of indication of what to expect, a general outline of Greek strategy, as it were; and in any case, I expect you could do with something to eat?'

'Thank you yes, that would be very nice.'

'Yes indeed,' said Paris, 'I haven't had anything to eat since ' Priam turned on him impatiently: 'You get back to the front.

If you haven't killed Achilles by nightfall, I shall be very seriously displeased.'

'Oh, very well,' Paris agreed, gloomily, 'but I really don't see why Troilus shouldn't go? More his sort of thing.'

'Because you are now, Heaven help us all, my eldest son, and you must shoulder I use the word loosely, of course your responsibilities. And if, by any chance, Achilles should kill you you, then Troilus will have two two elder brothers to avenge and will fight the better for it. Do you follow? That's the whole point!' elder brothers to avenge and will fight the better for it. Do you follow? That's the whole point!'

Paris saw it at once, of course, and didn't care for it. 'Well, I just wouldn't want to stand in his way, that's all.'

'Now, don't argue, Paris just get out there!'

'Oh, all right. Goodbye Cressida. All being well, we shall meet this evening.'

'As soon as that?'

'Yes, we have to knock off as soon as the light goes, or you can't see the blood.'

'Oh, I see. Well, goodbye, Paris and thank you for standing up for me.'

'Not at all, not at all,' said the unhappy prince, 'only too pleased.' And with a lack-l.u.s.tre salute to whoever might be interested, he turned on his heel, and low-profiled back to the war.

'Now then,' said Priam, having thus inspired and invigorated his eldest, 'come along, Cressida you and I must have a long talk. I've got a feeling you're going to bring us luck.'

'She will bring us nothing but doom, death and disaster,'

remarked Ca.s.sandra, ever the optimist.

'Yes, yes, Ca.s.sandra you have have made your point. And your protest will be entered in the official records, so you've nothing to worry about. This way, my dear.' made your point. And your protest will be entered in the official records, so you've nothing to worry about. This way, my dear.'

Vicki hesitated. 'Are you quite sure? I dont want to upset anybody.'

'Oh, you mustn't worry about Ca.s.sandra she always takes the gloomiest possible view of things. It's a form of insurance, I suppose, so that, if things do do go wrong, she can always say I told you so! I remember once...' go wrong, she can always say I told you so! I remember once...'

But what he remembered we shall never know, because at that point, he and Vicki disappeared into the palace and I didn't think I should presume to follow them, on such a short acquaintance.

I was wondering what to do next, when Ca.s.sandra made up my mind for me. 'Hear me, you G.o.ds of Troy!' and why she should have thought they were deaf I don't know 'Strike with thy lightnings the fledgling upstart who seeks to usurp Ca.s.sandra, your true priestess! Or give me a sign, I pray you, that she is false then will I strike the blow myself!'

Well she certainly looked capable of it, as she stalked back into the temple, slashing about her with a snake-skin whip, or some such; and for Vicki's sake, I hoped no sort of sign, as requested, was in the offing. But it didn't seem as if there'd be a lot I could do about it, even if there were. And, quite frankly, having had enough of Ca.s.sandra for one action-packed morning, I thought my best plan would be to stroll gently back to the Greek camp, and see how the Doctor was getting along with his war-plans.

Who knows I might even be able to scrounge a bite of breakfast...

13.

War Games Compulsory I did, in fact, arrange to get a couple of rather bristly wild boar chops at the Greek commissariat, in exchange for a tune or two on my lyre did I ever mention that I used to play a bit? And thus fortified, set out to find Odysseus' quarters not easy in that ill-planned, haphazard straggle of a cantonment! where I a.s.sumed he would have taken his prisoners. But being so obviously Greek myself, I was able to mingle at will amongst the lower ranks without exciting much curiosity; and eventually a hoplite of sorts suggested that I try down by the sh.o.r.e apparently Odysseus kept himself apart from the other heroes whenever possible and he pointed out where the Ithacan flotilla was drawn up on the sand, looking like so many stranded sea-monsters.

'You can usually find him there,' said my informant, 'when he isn't busy insulting his allies, or putting the fear of G.o.d into the rest of us with his crack-brained schemes.'

So I trudged seawards, and wandered moodily along the beach, aiming the occasional kick at a dead dog-fish, and wondering if I wouldn't be better employed getting the h.e.l.l out of Asia Minor, and heading for the Hesperides, where I had a tentative concert engagement. In fact, I generally used to try and spend midsummer there when I could: cooler, you know, and very much nicer cla.s.s of girl. So, thinking on these things, my steps were beginning to drag a bit; and I dare say that in another second or so I might well have given up the whole misguided project when suddenly I heard my name mentioned. And that's something will always set a chap to eaves-dropping, no matter how many times he hears ill of himself.

So I peeked over the prow of the nearest longship; and yes there were the Doctor and Steven, brows wrinkled and so on, poring over a lot of papers, and what looked like machine-drawings, spread out all over the what do you call 'em?

thwarts, or something.

'No my boy,' the Doctor was saying, 'it couldn't possibly work in practice. It's obviously just something Homer thought up as a good dramatic device. I would never dream of doing it myself.'

Well, if he didn't dream of doing it soon, I'd never think it up at all. I could have told him that there and then!

That's one of the troubles with time-travel, you see. The Doctor was always so anxious not to alter the course of history by meddling, that he sometimes didn't realize history couldn't happen if he didn't give it a helping hand now and then. One sees the dangers, of course: get it wrong, and the whole future could be altered. And if you alter the future too much, you might very likely not get a chance to exist in it yourself, if you follow me? I suppose that's why, in later years, he always preferred to go forward rather than backwards in time; so that, whatever happened, he couldn't wipe himself clean off the slate by accident!

But the trick is: don't play the giddy-goat just apply to the history books for instructions, and then get on with it. And since, apparently, I'd have written one myself before too long, all he had to do was what I told him. And I couldn't wait to hear what that was! I soon learnt, however; and, I must say, I was tempted to agree with him. The whole idea was preposterous!

'I don't see why,' argued Steven.