"Put the ribbon in your hair."

"I've had to be careful about letting my hair down," she confessed nervously. "Aunt Ellie has eyes like a hawk. She would have spotted that bare spot on top of my head right away." Vanessa tried to smile while her fingers worked at the hairpins. He lay there watching, his great tawny eyes wide open and staring. She unraveled the thick braid, then bent over and raked her hair with her fingers until it hung from the top of her head. She tied it at the crown with the ribbon and when she lifted her head it hung down her back like a flowing mane. "This is the only way I can hide my bald spot," she said lightly and waited, hoping Kain would smile.

He didn'ta"not even slightly. There was a strange quietness about him and he lay staring at her. She didn't know what to say. He lifted his good arm from the bed and she clasped his hand in both of hers. His fingers squeezed hers then reached upward. She flung her hair over her shoulder and he grasped the strands between his fingers.

"I . . . hated for Ta.s.s to have this. I was going to get it back."

"It's just hair. It will grow back."

They looked at each other for a long time. Her eyes were brilliant with unshed tears. Her eyes were what he'd noticed about her the first day he met her in Dodge City. Now they anxiously searched his for a glimmer of forgiveness.

"I don't know if I can get up. You'll have to get Henry or the Hookers to help me."

"You can't get up. You'll break the st.i.tches and start bleeding again. If you lose any more blood you'll go into shock."

"I can't stay in your wagon."

"You certainly will! You don't realize how close you came to being killed."

"It doesn't matter. Call Mrs. Hill. I want to talk to her . . . alone."

She met his gaze evenly. "You're not going to forgive me, are you?" she whispered.

"There's nothing to forgive."

"I almost got you killed! John said I should be ashamed for what I did. I am ashamed, terribly ashamed. Why am I so headstrong, Kain? Why is it so hard for me to let someone else take charge?"

"Vanessa . . . Vanessa, you can't help the way you are. You're a woman who needs a strong hand."

"A ch.o.r.e you're unwilling to take on?" She almost choked as the enormity of her words. .h.i.t her. When he didn't answer her taut nerves made her rush into speech. "I was going to meet him and kill him before he killed you. I couldn't stand to just sit and wait for that . . . animal to make the first move," she told him, unable to keep the quaver out of her voice. His rejection was the hardest thing she had ever had to endure.

"It isn't easy to shoot a man, and while you hesitated, which you would have, he would have had you. You didn't stand a chance. Now, say no more about it," he added impatiently.

Vanessa looked down at him. Even his voice was closing her out. When he said nothing more she placed his hand gently on the bed beside him and stood.

"I'll get Aunt Ellie. Are you going to tell her about Adam Hill?"

"No."

Kain watched her leave and closed his eyes wearily. She was hurt. But what the h.e.l.l could he say? He had nothing to offer her. It would have been better if Ta.s.s had killed him, he thought. But then Vanessa would have had to live with the guilt that she had caused his death. He opened his eyes, afraid he would fall asleep. He had something to do, something he should have done before this.

Ellie came in and took the stool beside his bunk. Her cool hand smoothed the hair from his brow and then rested on his forehead for an instant.

"No fever, thank goodness. We were so worried about you. Are you hungry?"

"No, ma'am. I want you to write something for me. Will you get a pencil and paper?"

"Of course . . . but Vanessa writes a beautiful hand."

"I don't want her to know about this yet. Please, Mrs. Hill."

"All right, Kain."

Ellie took a box of writing supplies from the compartment at the front on the wagon and returned to sit on the stool beside him. She opened a tablet of lined paper and took a pencil in her hand.

"I want to make a will." Kain's quiet words dropped into the stillness and Ellie almost dropped the pencil.

"Oh, no! You're not . . . Didn't Vanessa tell you that we have every hope you'lla""

"There's a chance I won't die from the bullet wounds, but nevertheless, I'm going to die soon," he said calmly. "I want Vanessa to have a house and some land I have near Junction City. If I die without a will, my estate will go to . . . a relative I'm not fond of and I don't approve of."

"Oh, Kain! Oh, dear boy! What are you talking about?"

"I have a cancer that will surely kill me."

"Oh, dear G.o.d!"

"I want your promise to say nothing about it."

"Of course, I promise. But . . . are you sure?"

"I'm sure. Now write, please. I, Kain DeBolt being of sound mind. . . ." He dictated slowly, then asked her to read back what she had written. He nodded his approval, and she handed him the pencil and held the tablet so he could sign his name. "Date it at the top, and sign your name as a witness," he instructed wearily. "You'll find the address of my solicitor in New York in my saddlebags. If . . . when something happens, write to him and tell him about the will. He'll know what to do."

"I can't believe you're saying these things to me." Ellie clasped his hand tightly. "Don't you have anyone? Family ora"" She sniffed back the tears. "Oh, shoot! I'm trying hard to not . . . break down."

"Don't cry for me, Mrs. Hill. I asked you to do this because I know you're a strong woman. You've got to be to endure what you have and still hold your head high."

"Thank you, Kain. You'll not be alone. Vanessa and I will take care of you."

"No! Vanessa is not to know. When the time is near I'll know and I'll go away."

Ellie brought his hand to her tear wet cheek. "I'll do whatever you want me to do. But until . . . I'll be with you."

"Thank you. It means a lot to know someone cares."

"You've become very dear to me, Kain. I care, and Vanessa cares. She may be in love with you. I've never seen her in such a state as she was today while we were working on you."

"She feels guilty is all."

"Oh, no. It's more thana""

"Aunt Ellie?" Vanessa's voice reached them from the end of the wagon.

"Put that away," Kain whispered.

"Don't worry." Ellie lifted the lid of her trunk and slipped the tablet inside.

"Are the Hookers out there?" Kain asked in a louder voice.

Vanessa climbed into the wagon and glanced curiously at her aunt as she moved aside.

"You're awfully pert for a man with three holes in him."

"Three? You said I was. .h.i.t twice."

"Don't forget I had to cut a hole in your back to get the bullet out."

"I bet you enjoyed that," he said dryly.

"He's going to live, Aunt Ellie. He's back to being mouthy." She gave a nervous little laugh.

Kain tried to smile, but it was a meaningless flexing of his facial muscles.

"Could you eat a cup of potato soup?" Ellie asked.

"Don't go to any bother, ma'am."

"I saved it from supper. I'll get it."

"Did I hear you ask for the Hookers?" Vanessa inquired after Ellie left. "They're not out there, but John and Henry want to see you if you feel up to it. Theya"we were all so worried about you. We're glad you're going to be all right."

"Is this your bed?"

"Yes. I'll sleep in Aunt Ellie's so I can hear you if you need anything. She'll sleep in with Mary Ben. It's all been decided."

"I'll get up tomorrow."

"Tomorrow? You'll do no such thing. You'll stay flat on your back for a week if I have to tie you to the bunk."

"We should get to Junction City the day after tomorrow."

"We're not traveling tomorrow. We're staying here so those wounds can start healing."

"d.a.m.n it, Vanessa! John and the Hookers know this is dangerous country. We have to leave here at daylight."

"I was thinking of you. Tomorrow you may feel a lot worse than you do now."

"I know. I've been shot before. I could be out of my head with a fever by this time tomorrow. That's why I'll tell you this now. Do what John and the Hookers think best and don't give them any sa.s.s."

"All right, Kain. If that's what you want, I'lla"" she had to stop when sobs threatened to close her throat. She found herself looking directly into his eyes and watched his gaze fall away and become fixed on her blue sunbonnet hanging at the end of the wagon.

"When we get to Junction City, ask directions to a place called The House. All you have to say is The House. It's about five miles out of town. I own it and the land around it. The woman that rented it wrote that she left it boarded up. I want you to stay therea"all of you. Don't argue, Vanessa," he said tiredly. "Do this one thing for me without arguing."

"We'll take you there and stay until you're on your feet." She said the words as though they were being dragged out of her against her will. "Do you want to see John and Henry?"

His gaze returned to her white face and he felt his mind grind to a halt. The silence that enveloped them was so complete that he could hear Ellie's voice in the Wisner wagon telling Mary Ben how glad she was they were nearing the end of their journey. Every word was as distinct as though she were speaking a few feet away. Into that continuing stillness, he turned his face away and murmured, "I guess so."

At the end of two days of hard travel they came down out of the foothills and entered a wide valley that stretched for miles. On each side lay rolling hills topped with glossy evergreen, and beyond were snow-capped mountains. It was a breathtaking sight, one Vanessa was unable to appreciate because she was so worried about Kain. He was hurting and as cross as a bear. His stomach had been troublesome, and he would allow only Ellie to attend him.

Junction City was a town of unpainted buildings and rutted streets. Small boxlike houses set in rows fanned out from the main street which was lined with false-fronted stores. Vanessa drove into town with Jeb and Clay Hooker leading the way. She looked with dismay at the crude buildings, the curs that ran out from between the buildings to nip at the heels of the mules, the big-wheeled freight wagons, the loafers sitting along the boardwalks and the drunken Indians who staggered along the street. The double swinging doors of the saloon opened and a man was tossed headfirst into the street.

Ellie sat stiffly erect, her face white and drawn, her hands clenched tightly together. She turned her head and stared dully at Vanessa.

"We've traveled hundreds of miles for this?" she asked in a low, strickened voice.

Chapter Eleven.

Jeb reined in his horse and waited for the wagon to catch up.

"Stop here, ma'am, and I'll do some askin'. Ain't no use us goin' on if'n the place we're lookin' fer is back yonder."

Vanessa pulled up on the reins and the wagon stopped in front of the harness and blacksmith shop. It was no longer difficult for her to remain quiet and let someone else take over. Humiliation had drained her of energy and she hurt as she had never hurt before.

"Hey, thar, mister." The man Jeb spoke to had come out of the harness shop with several horse halters hanging from the crook of his arm. The cowboy put his foot in the stirrup, swung into the saddle and turned his mount toward them.

"Were ya talkin' to me?"

"Howdy. We'd be obliged if you'd give us some help in findin' a place. We're looking fer The House. That's what the feller said the place is called: The House. Would ya be knowin' where it'd be?"

"The House? Why sh.o.r.e. Ever'body knows where The House is at." A huge grin split the cowboy's weathered face. He leaned on the saddle horn and grinned with open admiration at Vanessa and Ellie, then craned his neck to see who was in the wagon behind. "Yo're a-goin' to open The House?"

"Figgerin' on it." The Texan's voice was less friendly and he edged his horse between the cowboy and the caravan.

"The House is openin'?" The cowboy threw back his head and let out a wild yell. "Yahoo . . . ee!"

Vanessa looked at him in astonishment, then looked quickly around. His bellow hadn't attracted the slightest bit of attention from the people in the street or on the boardwalks.

"Yo're a-goin' to open The House!" he repeated excitedly. "Doggy! I'm pure proud to hear it. If thar's anythin' I can do to help ya get settled in, ma'am, jist send out a call fer Stan Taylor. Now, don't ya be fergittin' that name. Yes siree, Stan Taylor'll sh.o.r.e be proud to help ya ladies out. Jist wait till the fellers hear."

"Give us a pointer, mister, so we can be on our way." Jeb's voice was hard with impatience.

"Jist go right on through town and foller the river road. Hit's a plank house painted white. Hit's a right purty place, but it's been boarded up fer 'bout a year now." The cowboy leaned over and spoke to Ellie. "Don't ya be frettin' none, ma'am. Stan Taylor'll spread the word. The boys'll be plumb tickled to hear The House is openin'."

Jeb nodded to Vanessa and she slapped the reins against the backs of the mules and the wagon moved ahead.

"We're obliged to ya." Jeb dismissed the man with a nod of his head.

The cowboy grinned. He tipped his hat to Mary Ben when she pa.s.sed, then headed for the saloon to tell the news.