Chapter Forty-nine

EVERYONE, EXCEPT MARTYN, EMILY AND THE ENGINEERS, HATED Jackpot on arrival. One glance at the flimsy defences made the soldiers uneasy.'This'll be good in a mortar attack,' they said miserably.The sangars were solid enough, built up on hesco, but the rest of the perimeter was trench and wire with, in places, sandbag protection. The civilian zone was marked by a low wall of sandbags but they, too, had to use the exposed oil drums for toilets. Except for Emily. She had a small, private area with sheeting around it.'Can't I use that too?' demanded Martyn.'No,' said Emily. 'This is the Ladies.''I don't want to take a c.r.a.p in front of everyone in this camp,' Martyn complained to the OC.'You'll have to,' said Major Willingham, 'unless Emily agrees to share it.'Otherwise the camp consisted only of a collection of tents and the perimeter wire.Martyn studied the wire.'Nick,' he said to the OC. 'Think we could move it about twenty feet to the right? Seems to me that part of our exploration area is just outside the fence.'The OC said, in a voice that was many degrees lower than the ambient air temperature: 'No, Martyn.'Martyn burst out laughing.'Just kiddin' you, Nick!'The OC did not smile.The camp sat at the base of the hills which swept up to the huge, looming purple mountains. The hills were to the north and so gave it no protection from the desert sun, which was even more merciless here than at the FOB. A constant hot wind created dust devils, tiny tornados that span purposefully across the desert, through the wire and straight into the camp. In the distance, the Early Rocks rose out of the flat plain like weird and lonely skysc.r.a.pers.The wind distributed the sand everywhere. It got into people's clothes, their tea, their ration packs, their boots, their ears.Dave and Sgt Somers of 2 Platoon did not keep their men on boil-in-the-bag; they had resolved that every day they would boost morale by cooking something from the ration packs. Dave liked to think he could turn virtually any ration pack into a presentable meal: he'd trained as a cook when he first left school, before he'd been seduced by the army recruitment ads. And he had persuaded Masud to let him take some fresh food and a few spices from the kitchen to Jackpot.But the men's reaction to his first concoction was unenthusiastic.'Delicious, Sarge,' they said, digging their plastic spoons into his stew. 'Tastes of sand.''Oh s.h.i.t,' said Dave.'No, Sarge,' said Finn. 'Sand. That's better than s.h.i.t.''I can sense that you've attempted to include a subtle blend of herbs and spices,' Boss Weeks told Dave. 'But I'm sorry to tell you that the predominant taste is definitely sand.''If we had to stay here and eat sand for a long time,' said the OC, who had heard Dave was a good cook and so was eating with 1 Platoon, 'our teeth would be ground down to almost nothing. That's precisely what happened to the Native Americans. Ancient skulls show that, by the end of their lives, desert dwellers had no teeth left.'The men looked at him miserably.'We could just swallow without chewing,' suggested Jamie. 'That way we'd f.u.c.k up our intestines but we'd keep our teeth.'Dave laughed at that. It was relieved laughter because this was the first time he'd heard Jamie speak since they'd left Sin City. He walked around looking so miserable that his eyebrows were knitted together. It could only be something to do with Agnieszka.The soldiers were soon bored. All they could do was keep watch and stare in disbelief at the wild enthusiasm of the engineers for this desolate and empty place. Even Emily stalked around the camp in her sensible shoes, rubbing her hands and smiling happily.'I told you. This is R&R for us, while the civvies do a bit of work for once,' said Finn, dealing another hand of cards to a group of lads from 2 Platoon, who he a.s.sured Dave just played for cigarettes.Angus preferred to be busy. He volunteered for any job going, helped the engineers carry their kit and did other people's stag for them while they slept or played cards.He stood up in the tower surveying the endless flatness of the desert. He liked to stare at the Early Rocks in the distance; they looked like something that had been there since the beginning of time. He also kept an eye on the antics of the civilians. They'd brought a lot of equipment in separate wagons, including some kind of drill.'They're never drilling for f.u.c.king oil already!' he said to Streaky, who was on stag with him.Streaky yawned. He was not interested in the oil exploration. 'I am so f.u.c.king bored. At least back at Sin City there was a bit of to-ing and fro-ing and stuff in the town to look at. I even got to like that geezer calling from his tower every five minutes.''Moslems have to stop what they're doing and pray about twenty times a day,' said Angry knowledgeably. 'That geezer's telling them to get down the mosque.'Streaky yawned again. 'I used to think he was a noisy b.a.s.t.a.r.d but at least he kept me awake.''Don't you write rap in your head when you're on stag?''I'm so bored I can't even write nothing,' said Streaky. 'I just want to go back to the FOB. And so does everyone else. I never seen so many miserable soldiers. There's the boss was fighting hammer and tongs in the wagon with that Intelligence woman and now he's gone sad, there's Dave worried because his missus is having a baby, there's Jamie in a strop about something. Even Mal's not his normal self.''I'm my normal self,' said Angry.'Me too. And Binman. I reckon it's because we've been out here a long time but we've still got a couple of months to go.'Angus said: 'I could do another six months. I don't want to go home.'Beneath, the contractors were burying something that looked like a bolt. They had drilled a hole and buried three so far. Emily and Martyn argued about the exact location of each hole. The last bolt had been buried and then, after a heated argument, dug up again.'Streaky . . .''Yeah.''I saw something move over there.'Streaky looked. 'Emily?''No! Up in the hills.'They both stared at the rugged and scarred landscape. Where they rose out of the flat sand, near the perimeter fence, there were p.r.i.c.kly, moisture-starved bushes that looked as hostile as the desert itself. Huge boulders, which geological eons ago might have cascaded down from the mountains, lay like pebbles on the hillside.'Where?''See Three Boulders? See Red Bush? In between.'Streaky creased up his eyes to peer at the landmarks.'I can't see anything. Nothing's going to f.u.c.king move in this heat.''I saw a shadow or something!'Streaky stared and stared.'You imagined it. Everything looks as though it's wiggling about a bit in the heat.'Angus was stubborn.'I saw something . . .''Well, nip down to the boys at the entrance and tell them to get on the radio,' said Streaky, yawning. 'And I'll keep looking.'Angus ran down to the men from 2 Platoon on stag. They looked anxious and immediately radioed the tent that had been set up as an ops room. Angus ran back up to Streaky.'Seen anything else?''Nope.''Have you been looking? Just to the left of Red Bush?''I've been looking but there's nothing out there.'Word was now spreading around the camp. A few people came out of their tents with their weapons. Everyone was staring towards the hillside. Even the contractors realized that something was up and stopped work. The OC emerged, pen in hand, hands on hips. Dave came up to the sangar.'What did you see, McCall?'Angry began to feel embarra.s.sed.'I don't know, Sarge. Just movement.''What sort of movement?''I don't know.''Did you see anything, Bacon?''Nope. And I've been looking.'Angus described again where he had seen the movement and Dave stood still watching for some minutes.'It was probably the wind,' he said at last. 'Look.'He gestured out across the desert behind them to the Early Rocks where a sandstorm was visible. A hot breeze had begun to bl.u.s.ter against their helmets and throw sand onto their faces. It was approaching.People went back to their tents and closed them up against the sandstorm. Only the contractors worked on.'Can't you stop until the storm is over?' asked the OC.Martyn looked astonished.'Why would we do that? We're just getting to the exciting bit.'The OC did not share his excitement. 'Which is?''Dynamite!'Even Emily looked pleased.'For many years now, for environmental reasons, dynamite has been rarely used. But because we are working under exceptional conditions here we have been given permission.'Martyn grinned happily. He did not seem to notice the sand in his hair, teeth and ears. He wore sungla.s.ses but it was probably in his eyes too.'In my view, dynamite's always been the best. See, we send a charge down into the shot hole over here . . .''It will be over there,' corrected Emily.'And the geophones we've planted will give us seismic readings. Now, if we've got them in the right place and if Emily can get her signal and imaging processing right . . .''It will give us a sort of picture of what lies beneath the surface,' finished Emily excitedly. She walked off to the group of waiting engineers. When she was out of earshot Martyn leaned towards Major Willingham.'Which we don't need because when you've been in this game as long as me you know from the aerial photos, some elementary surveying and the gravity readings exactly what's under there. But I'd hate to put these guys out of a job.'There was another radio message from the sentries.'Excuse me,' said the major. 'We have a keen rifleman who's insisting once again that he can see something moving in the hills.''Which keen rifleman?''McCall.'Martyn smiled. 'Angus. He's too darn keen. Probably just wants something to do.'Anyone prepared to brave the sandstorm came out to look at the hills. But there was noticeably less interest this time.'Where was it?' Dave asked Angus patiently.'Same place!''Did you see it, Streaky?''Nope.''It must have been something big if you saw it in a f.u.c.king blizzard.'The hot wind lashed their faces and threw handfuls of sand at them. The sky was turning orange.'Yeah, it was something flapping. Like, in England it would be washing on the line. But here it's probably someone's clothes.'Dave watched the hills.'Angry,' he said at last. 'Either it's gone or you're imagining things. Now you two get down off this tower and send Jamie Dermott up. We'll finish your stag for you.'Streaky looked grateful but Angus said, as he climbed down: 'I definitely saw something, Sarge.'Jamie arrived.'Thanks, Sarge. Stag in a sandstorm is every soldier's dream.''They only had another ten minutes to go and McCall kept seeing things.''He just wants something to happen.'Dave told Jamie where Angus claimed to have seen movement but now there was so much sand you could barely see the hills at all.'I wanted to talk to you, Jamie,' said Dave. 'Anything up?'Jamie did not look at him.'No.''Don't p.i.s.s about with me. You don't have to tell me but I wish you would. I'm getting sick of seeing you slope about like a sore p.r.i.c.k at a stag party. What's happened?'Jamie shuffled round so his back was to the wind. Dave waited. Jamie's lean face looked dark. It wasn't the tan and it wasn't the facial hair or even the sand. His face was shadowed the way rooms get dark when you close the curtains and shut the doors.'Is it Agnieszka?'Jamie swung to look at him.'What have you heard about her?'Dave tried to appear startled by this question. He shrugged innocently. 'Jenny's in hospital so I'm not getting any gossip. Have people been telling you things?'Jamie sighed.'No. But Niez's changed. She's sort of . . . cut herself off from me.''Why would she do that?''She might just be p.i.s.sed off with me being away. Seriously p.i.s.sed off. Or she might have met someone else. Or both.''Got any evidence?''Not really. It's just the way . . . Well, she used to be really pleased to hear from me. You could tell by the end of the call she felt better about everything. And now it doesn't make any difference when I ring. That's how it feels.'There must be rumours flying around camp, Dave thought, about Agnieszka and this bloke. And the rumours must have reached Jamie.'We have to trust our wives,' he said. 'Because that's all we can do.''Yeah,' said Jamie miserably. 'Yeah.''I wish I could ask Jen to go over and talk to her . . .'Jamie looked embarra.s.sed. 'Your problems are worse than mine. Jenny's ill and she's having a baby and you can't even phone her.''Know how I cope with that one?' asked Dave. 'I don't think about it. I could worry about Jen all day but what's the point? There's nothing I can do and worrying about it'll mean I can't do my job properly here. That's what a professional soldier has to do, mate, and you're a professional soldier. He has to leave home behind.'Jamie gave the ghost of a smile. 'It'd be easier to leave home behind if we had a bit more to do here. I mean, I can understand why Angry keeps seeing flipflops under every boulder. At least that'd mean there's a chance of some action.'They finished the duty in silence. Dave was thinking that, despite his claim, he hadn't managed to cut Jenny out of his thoughts. At any random moment in the day, no matter how busy he was, he would suddenly hear, as though in a dream, their last phone call, punctuated by her sobs. At night he tried not to give in to the panic he felt because he was in the middle of the desert, unreachable, while Jenny and the baby lay in hospital in a life-threatening state.When they came down from the tower, Dave was about to busy himself with his next sand stew when the OC called him over. Boss Weeks was already there, smiling. Dave hadn't seen him smile since his pretty friend from Intelligence had sat at the front of the Vector bawling him out.'Good news,' announced the major. 'I've had word from Bastion that Broom and Connor were stable enough to leave Afghanistan yesterday. They'll be landing shortly in the UK.'Dave smiled too.'They wouldn't have sent them on stretchers if they thought they could hang on and send them in body bags!' he said.'Exactly!' The OC was beaming. 'There are so many long faces around here that I'm hoping it'll cheer everyone up.'

Chapter Fifty

BEN BROOM HALF OPENED HIS EYES. THERE WAS A STRONG POSSIBILITY that he was dead. He did not try to remember the event that had led to his death but images floated through his mind. A blue, blue sky, the colour burned away to one side by the white heat of a ma.s.sive sun. His mates shouting to him but never coming near him.There were other, darker images, of people standing over him and talking to him. But he didn't know any of these people. They weren't in his platoon or in his family. No one he loved was there. So death was full of strangers.A stranger was standing over him now.Broom thought that probably the dead didn't speak to each other but he decided to try anyway. He was surprised by the sound that emerged, of a wheezing, clanking old motor.'Come again?' said the man.'Am I dead?' repeated Broom.'Nah. You're not dead. This isn't heaven. And I'm no angel.'Broom stared at the man and gradually he felt his life and his past taking shape inside him. He had been blown up in a minefield and taken here to Bastion where the surgeon had told him he'd lost the lower part of his leg. He felt sad as the weightlessness of not-knowing left him and was replaced by the burden of this knowledge.'Funny, you look like a bloke I used to know.''Who would that be then, Ben?''He was in our platoon. But he got casevaced back to England.'The man grinned. 'You don't say.''His name was Steve.''That's a coincidence, then,' said the man. 'My name's Steve.''Steve . . . Buckle.''f.u.c.king incredible! The same! That's my name too!'Broom blinked. He raised his eyebrows so they disappeared somewhere under the cover of his bright red hair.'h.e.l.lo, Steve.''h.e.l.lo, mate.''So . . . did they fly you back out? To pick up your leg from the cookhouse?''My leg! In the cookhouse! Now you're really talking c.r.a.p, mate. They've had you drugged up to the eyeb.a.l.l.s. They didn't fly me back to Afghanistan, they flew you back to England.'Broom looked at him trustingly.'Where am I then, Steve?''Selly Oak. Just look at the telly and you'll know you're in England.'Broom did not move but his eyes swivelled to the screen. Two glittering bodies, strangely linked, cavorted in unison across a lit stage.'I was watching it while I waited for you to wake up,' said Steve. 'And know what I was thinking? Could I be the first amputee on Strictly? Strictly?'Broom's eyes moved from the TV, with its swirling, complete human beings, to Steve Buckle.'Must be Sat.u.r.day then.''You've got it, Ben! I'm at Headley Court now but they brought me up here for a long weekend to see the docs and to see you and a bloke called Ryan Connor who took over a gimpy after I got blown out of the platoon.''Ryan's really been poorly,' said Broom.'Yeah, right. Not like you, Ben, you picture of good health, you.''The bottom half of my leg got blown off by a landmine. f.u.c.k me, Steve, am I going to be explaining that to people for the rest of my life?''Yeah. See, it's not, like, a temporary thing.'Broom felt his eyes go wet. He had lost a leg. He had lost it for ever.Steve Buckle sat down.'Go on then, cry. I f.u.c.king cried, mate.'Broom's arm was bandaged and so was part of his face. He was lying flat and had no idea how to move. He lay crying quietly until Steve placed a tissue in his good hand. This was a revelation. Broom had forgotten he had a good arm. Very slowly he closed his fingers on the tissue, bent his elbow and aimed the tissue at his nose.'Well done, mate,' said Steve.'Oh, f.u.c.k it,' said Broom. 'What's going to happen now? What's happening with my bird?''Your mum's outside with the bloke from BLESMA. He's getting her prepared to see you without your leg.''What about Kylie?''Dunno,' said Steve dully. He had heard about Kylie from Leanne.'Is she out there?''Dunno, mate.''s.h.i.t, what will I do now? What can I do without my leg?''Well, it took me a long time to understand this, or maybe a long time to believe it. But you can do pretty much everything. And it'll be easier for you than me because I've got a short stump and it's a f.u.c.ker for fitting a socket. Yours came off below the knee. That's much easier.''I won't be good enough for the Paralympics. I won't be good enough for anything. I won't be good enough for my bird. Buckle, why did I have to be in that minefield? There are a hundred and twenty men in R Company, I don't see why it had to be me.'Steve switched off the TV.'At least you admit it. I spent more than a month telling everyone my leg was still there. I could feel it, see. Can you feel yours?'Broom looked thoughtful.'I can't feel anything at all. I'm sort of numb. I hope I don't pee in the bed.''You're on a catheter, probably. And you can't feel anything because of the pain relief. But you will.'Broom stared at him.'Does yours still hurt?''Yeah. And I mean it's sometimes excruciating. That's where there's no leg any more. Explain that if you can. The doc can't.''Can you walk yet, Buckle?''Just wedge yourself up on your good elbow and watch me. I'm not very good yet because we're having trouble with my socket.'Broom, with a supreme effort, raised himself a couple of inches from the bed and leaned on his elbow. Steve Buckle, a big, tall man and one of the platoon's dominant personalities, shuffled, very slowly, with intense concentration, along the side of the bed. He did not speak until he had sat down breathlessly on the chair.'See? I mostly use a crutch but I'll be throwing it away soon. I'm getting a leg for running, maybe a couple of them. And there'll be a leg for walking. Then I could have a very smart leg which looks like the other one. A leg for the shower . . . probably even more legs than that. But I've got to learn to walk first.''You'd turn into a f.u.c.king spider if you tried to use them all at once.''You'll have that too, Broom. You'll have a leg for every occasion. We'll start feeling sorry for those poor b.u.g.g.e.rs with only the two.'Broom remained propped on his elbow but closed his eyes.'Buckle, you didn't look ready for Strictly Strictly just then.' just then.''Listen, mate. I don't know about dancing but I do know about fighting. And Afghanistan is the best f.u.c.king fight for years. I'm getting used to the idea that I'm missing this tour but I'll tell you something: I'm not going to miss the next one.'Broom kept his eyes shut.'Get real.''You feel that way now because you're still at the beginning. You're at the bit where you think your life's over. But it's not. It's all a big challenge but challenges are what we joined up for, mate. And I'm going to get back to the frontline. That's my biggest challenge yet.''You're married,' said Broom. 'Got kids?''Twins. Boys. They're not two years old yet. I'm going to be outrunning them until they're at least twenty-one.''What about your wife then?''What about her?''Does she fancy you any more?''Dunno.''Haven't you seen her then?''She visits me in Headley Court. Just a few hours at a time.'His tone was indifferent. Broom looked at his big face and saw he was angry.'So, how is she with it?' he persisted.'With what?''You having one leg.'Steve shrugged.'She p.i.s.ses me off, to tell you the truth. It's the way she looks at me. All sympathy. Sit there. Let me do that. How are you feeling? Sit there. Let me do that. How are you feeling? Dabbing her eyes when she thinks I won't see. I want to clock her one. I went home for the weekend between Selly Oak and Headley Court. Big mistake. I ended up chucking my crutch at her.' Dabbing her eyes when she thinks I won't see. I want to clock her one. I went home for the weekend between Selly Oak and Headley Court. Big mistake. I ended up chucking my crutch at her.'Broom was silent, thinking that Steve Buckle could be a scary sort of bloke.'It's not her fault, mate. Why are you so p.i.s.sed off with her?''Dunno. She's overweight. Doesn't take care of herself. Sits around doing nothing in front of the telly. Then she comes in looking all sorry for me and I think: I could live without you easier than I can live without my leg. And other times I think: why've you got two legs? You hardly use them.'Broom eased himself off his elbow and lay back down.'I do get really angry,' Steve said. 'You will too.'Ben Broom was a.s.saulted by fear after fear. They came sneaking up on him like a series of ambushes.'Will I have to leave the army?''Shouldn't think so.''What will I do?''What do you want to do?''Same as before.'Steve got up.'Then do it.''My bird might not fancy me any more.''So find one who does.'Steve started to leave the room. He used a crutch this time, moving forward with comparative ease.Broom felt desperate. He didn't want to be left alone.'When will they make me look at it?' he called.Steve was near the door now.'What? Your stump?'Stump. The word was horrible. Broom nodded and swallowed.'Not until you're ready. They know what they're doing.''When are you coming back?''When I've seen Ryan Connor and after your mum's been and your bird if she's here. And if either of them starts crying all over you, just tell them to f.u.c.k off. I mean it. Don't put up with their s.h.i.t. You're soon going to be skiing better than they ever could.'Ben Broom started reorganizing his face. It took a bit of effort. The muscles felt tired before he'd even started to practise a smile. But by the time his mother walked in with the welfare officer, red-haired, freckled and too tearful to speak, he was ready for her.'Hi, Mum! Great to see you. For Chrissake, there's no need to cry because I'll be learning to ski soon . . .'

Chapter Fifty-one

'I'M GETTING FED UP WITH CLEANING WEAPONS ALL THE TIME AND never using them,' said Sol.They had just eaten another sand sandwich. The civilians were busy. Angus had disappeared on stag again.Binns said: 'I'm wishing the Taliban would attack us just to give us something to do.''Write a rap about Jackpot, Streaky,' Finn said to Bacon. 'We'll help. It'll give us something to do.''You can't write a rap about nothing happening,' said Streaky. 'Rap's rough and angry. Not bored and sleepy.''It's another game of cards then, lads,' said Finn, reaching for the pack.Jamie groaned.Mal closed his eyes.'OK, guys, we've finished with the dynamite for now.'Martyn had appeared in a cloud of fine dust.'That's a shame,' said Finn. 'It was the only interesting thing going on around here.'Everyone had wanted to set the dynamite off but Emily had shaken her head and wagged her finger.'This is a radio-controlled explosion and human error could have a catastrophic effect on our results.''What happens now, Martyn?' asked Jamie.Binns looked up hopefully.'If you've finished with the dynamite, can we go back to Sin City?''Emily has to collate the results from all the seismometers. When she's put them together in the lab ' Martyn gestured to one of the Vectors 'they should give us a complete picture. But if the images are wrong then we'll have to adjust them and repeat the experiment. So we can't go anywhere until she gives us the all-clear.''What are you going to do, then?' demanded Finn. 'While Emily's in her lab?''Play blackjack with you,' said Martyn, sitting down on an upturned crate.The sandstorm had ended a couple of days ago but the camp was still covered with its sand. Even the playing cards retained a gritty residue.Dave came out of the ops room holding a radio.'McCall thinks he's seen some movement in the hills again,' he said.Everyone groaned.'Right, we'll have a few more pairs of eyes over there,' said Sol. 'Mal, Binman, Streaky, go for it.''But last time he said that we called out aerial surveillance and they didn't find anything!' moaned Binns.'Yeah,' said Dave, 'but there was a sandstorm so the eye in the sky might have made a mistake.''Certainly,' agreed the OC, emerging behind him. 'And we shouldn't get complacent.'But the men came back reporting there was nothing to see.'Maybe,' said the boss to Dave, 'Angus should spend less time in the tower.''Well, let him finish his stag,' said Dave. 'He's down in ten minutes anyway.'When a lad from 3 Section had replaced him, Angus climbed down from the tower to find Martyn sitting in the shade of the sangar.'Hey, Angry, come talk to me.''What? Now?''Yeah. I'm sort of interested in this movement you keep seeing.'Angus was already red from the heat and now he reddened still more.'No one believes me.''Well, describe it, can you?'Angus was surprised, but he sat down and got out a cigarette. He offered Martyn one and looked relieved when he didn't accept.'Well, it's like a shadow. When the sandstorm was starting and I could hardly see the hills, that time it looked like it could have been a person. But the other times it's been like when you see a cloud shadow. Which sort of appears and then disappears when the sun goes in . . .''What do you think it is?'Encouraged by his interest, Angus said: 'At first I thought maybe it was the shadow of an aircraft. Some sort of aerial surveillance. But I don't think so. I don't know what it is.''An animal?'Angus shrugged.'You want it to be Taliban. Right?'Angus flicked his ash down. 'Well . . .''Because you want some action. Right?''That's what I signed up for.''You've already shown one h.e.l.luva lot of courage. I've heard about some of the things you've done. Your dad must be proud of you.'Angus looked at the ground.'Not really. See, my dad was in the Regiment. So he did some amazing things himself. Especially in the Falklands war.''This is really none of my business . . . but can I say something?'Angus watched Martyn's corrugated face curiously.'Supposing I told you that you've already done much more than your dad ever did? Supposing I said that you don't have to keep trying to impress him, being a hero, looking for action. Because he never was in the Special Forces. Would that be a relief?'Angus's eyes had grown suddenly bulbous. His cheeks were bright red. His cigarette was turning to ash.'What do you mean?''I've grown to like you, Angry. I used to think you were a big thug but since then I've seen that you're a good guy underneath all that noise. That's why I'm telling you this.'Angus seemed to swell in the heat.'Your dad wasn't the hero you think.''What?''I'll tell you something. It's going to upset you at first. And then, in a little while, you'll begin to feel good about it.'

Chapter Fifty-two

JENNY LAY IN BED STARING AT THE DOCTOR. HE WAS YOUNG, brown-skinned, very busy and ordinary in every way. Except that his head kept erupting into bright stars.'Feeling terrible?' he asked.'Yes.''We can't let you go on with blood pressure like this. We've tried everything to get it under control but it's moving the wrong way. So I'm afraid we'll have to induce you.'The doctor had no idea, Jenny thought, that now his head was spinning round and round like a horror movie.'I just want it to stop now.' She meant his head, her sickness, the pain, the swelling, the whole horrible pregnancy. She wanted to swap it for a baby.'It's not doing the baby any good either. So we'll go for some oxytocin now and we'll see how dilated you are in an hour.''OK.'The nurse nodded and the doctor began to leave.'Oh!' He turned. 'It may be quite quick once it starts, so I should get your partner here as soon as possible.''Ha!' said Jenny. It was a cross between a laugh and a cry. 'Ha!'The nurse muttered something to the doctor.'Afghanistan?' Jenny heard him say. 'Well, I don't think he's going to get back in time.'Jenny wanted to shout: Get back in time! He won't even know about it until next week! Get back in time! He won't even know about it until next week!The midwife bustled in and started messing around with drips.'Do you want to phone your birthing partner?'Jenny called Trish who did her best not to appear fl.u.s.tered.'Right. OK. I'll get Vicks over to your friend's house.''Mum. You don't have to do this. If you take Adi's children, she'll come.''Of course I want to be there!''Are you sure?'Jenny found herself wishing that Dave's mum was staying again and could be her birth partner instead of Trish, who would approach the entire process antic.i.p.ating that it could and probably would go wrong.'Well, I think so . . .''Listen, just dial the number I left by the phone and talk to Adi. I don't care who comes.'She felt too sick to argue. The nurse was taking her blood pressure and frowning.'This had better work quickly . . .''Or what?' asked Jenny.The nurse didn't answer but she continued to frown.Jenny closed her eyes.'Oh, Dave, Dave, Dave. You are such a f.u.c.king b.a.s.t.a.r.d.''I beg your pardon!' said the nurse.'My husband. Should be here.''Your blood pressure would be just as high. Actually, it drops on some women the minute their husband walks out of the room. Now the best thing you can do for yourself and Baby is close your eyes, breathe slowly and relax.'Jenny tried to close her eyes, breathe slowly and relax. But her heart was beating ludicrously, as if there was something big and scary in the room. And maybe there was. Her own loneliness. Dave's absence. The knowledge that she was bringing a child into the world and it would be a long time before he even knew about it. She felt hot water fall from her eyes, as though whatever was driving up her blood pressure was squeezing out her tears too.Later, someone came in. Another nurse, another blood pressure check. She kept her eyes clamped shut. But whoever was here did not take her blood pressure. They were standing in the room silently, watching her.'Who is it?' she asked.'It no one really,' said a small voice.'Agnieszka!''Oh my G.o.d, Jenny, I come at wrong time. I bring you flowers! I thought you ill in hospital. Then they say this is birthing room. I didn't know you have baby right now!'Jenny opened her eyes and smiled.'Agnieszka, give me a hug. I've never been so pleased to see anyone.'Agnieszka leaned close in her squeaking leather jacket and jangling earrings.'But you have baby now, this minute!''Not yet, they've only just induced me. Will you stay with me a while? Where's Luke?'Agnieszka put the flowers on a shelf.'Friend waits with him in car park.'Jenny had never seen Agnieszka with a friend. Except that man.'You'd better not stay too long then,' she said.'Oh, Jenny, you have baby all alone?''My mum or Adi or someone should get here soon . . .''I stay till they arrive.'She felt ridiculously grateful. She suddenly loved Agnieszka, for the way she stood so shyly, put the flowers where Jenny couldn't see them and then picked up her hand and squeezed it tight.'G.o.d, it awful that Dave can't phone. I think our boys are now far away from base because I have no telephone call for days.''Yeah. They're out of contact for a while.'Jenny bit her lip and fought tears. Agnieszka did the same but less successfully.'These men! They say they love us. Then they leave us to have baby alone!'Jenny thought of how Agnieszka struggled daily to deal with Luke's fits and his anger. 'And then they leave us to bring them up alone.'Agnieszka nodded sadly.'Dishwasher break. Gutter water run down wall. Drain blocked so bath full for hours. Things fall down. Buggy squeak. And where are men? In Afghanistan.'They smiled at each other. Then Jenny watched Agnieszka's face dissolve into shooting stars.'Why baby come so early?''My blood pressure's gone bananas. It's called pre-eclampsia.''I know this thing. I was nurse in Poland.''You're a nurse!' Jenny realized that she didn't know Agnieszka at all. They had never talked about her life in Poland, as if she hadn't really existed before she came to England.'I come here so I never finish training. Sometimes I think that, if Jamie here to help, I continue training in England. But how is this possible with Jamie away?''OK,' said the midwife, bustling in with a file. 'Is this your birthing partner?''No, I stay until partner arrive,' said Agnieszka.'Sorry, you'll have to go now,' the midwife told her. 'We can't have people coming in and out.'Agnieszka looked pale and distraught as she hugged Jenny.'Good luck,' she whispered as she left.'Right.' The midwife was brisk. 'I have to take your blood pressure and we hope it's dropped. Then I'll check your dilation and we hope it's increased.''Supposing it's the other way around?''Then it's a C-section I'm afraid.''I don't want a Caesarean!'The midwife took her blood pressure and pulled a face.'You've got to do what's right for you and Baby. Which means you may not have a choice. I'll call the doctor now and I think he'll say he wants you in theatre right away. To be perfectly honest, I think they're ready for you in there.'Jenny burst into tears.'It's not the end of the world,' said the midwife. 'A lot of women ask for them.''But there's no one here with me!'The midwife smiled.'Only an obstetrician, an anaesthetist, a midwife, G.o.d knows how many theatre staff and two paediatricians. You can't be lonely in a crowd like that.'But they're all strangers, thought Jenny.After a mumbled conversation at the door the doctor nodded to a porter and Jenny was swept off along a hospital corridor towards the operating theatre.

Chapter Fifty-three

ANGUS AND FINN WERE ON STAG TOGETHER AGAIN.'Just one more day here,' said Finn. 'Topaz Zero has promised we can go back to Sin City as soon as Emily's results are right, and they're almost right.''Great,' Angus said, without enthusiasm.'They can't keep us here any longer because Marty needs a c.r.a.p. He's not going to use the oil drums out in the open like everyone else. And Emily won't let him use her toilet.''He hasn't had a c.r.a.p all week?''Nope. His bowels are probably silted up with sand.'It was morning. The Early Rocks were at their clearest, lit up from the east. And the desert didn't look so flat when the sun was at this angle, lighting its contours. Across the camp the hills were mysterious with morning shadows.'He had a talk with me,' said Angry suddenly.'Topaz Zero? About his bowels?''No, Finn. About my dad.'Finn had been scanning the hillside to discourage Angus from seeing things there. But now he swung round to look at his mate. 'Your dad?'Angus did not meet his gaze.'You know all about it. You're the only one who does.'Finn turned back to the hillside.'All about what?' he asked cautiously.'Finny, stop p.i.s.sing about. Masud told you and Martyn about my dad.''And Martyn's told you. What a f.u.c.king s.h.i.t! Why did he do that?''You didn't tell anyone else?''No, Angry. f.u.c.k it, I didn't even tell you!''Why not? We've come to blows before now over my dad.''Because he's your hero. I wasn't going to take that away from you.'Finn looked at Angus and saw the pinched look of sleepless nights and disappointments.'Masud might not be right, Angry.'Angus's face twisted. 'That my dad was a cook, nothing more? I believe him.''Why?''Well . . . things.''Like what?''Like, I never saw my dad's medals and he always said they'd been stolen. I thought it was weird that he never tried to get them back. And . . . he told me a load of s.h.i.t which didn't sound right. But I tried not to f.u.c.king notice.'Finn took a deep breath.'Going to have it out with him?''I've been lying in my cot at night thinking about killing him.'Finn said: 'I want to kill Martyn. Why did he have to tell you?''First off I hated him for it. But now I think he was right when he said I was living under my dad's shadow. He said I should crawl out from behind it. See, I kept thinking I was seeing movement over by those boulders. And that was because I was looking extra hard. Because I wanted to be extra sharp.''What's going on down there?' asked Finn suddenly.They looked across the camp. There was a small commotion. Sergeant Dave Henley seemed to be at the centre of it.The OC called Dave over to his poncho. Here at Jackpot with its heat and inactivity and civilians moving freely among them, there was a new informality. The major was wearing body armour with shorts and flipflops. There were papers spread all over his sleeping bag and the day was so airless they didn't even flutter.The major said: 'I've got some news for you.'Jenny. Dave felt his body turn to stone. Everything inside it that had been moving, the blood running, the cells growing, stopped for a moment. Dave felt his body turn to stone. Everything inside it that had been moving, the blood running, the cells growing, stopped for a moment.The major's tone was hesitant. It must be bad news.'Congratulations, Dave. You are the father of a new baby girl.' The OC's face broke into an enormous smile. Dave took a breath in but could not breathe out again until he knew more.'And Jenny? Is she all right?''The baby was delivered by Caesarean section because of some kind of emergency. But she's doing well now.'The news knocked Dave from behind. His knees almost went from under him. He reached out and held onto a tent pole. A baby girl. And Jenny was fine. Something was banging away behind his eyes. s.h.i.t, it was tears. Tears of relief and tears of joy. He turned away from the major in embarra.s.sment while he fought with himself to contain his feelings.Major Willingham coughed.'I wish we had more information. I wish you were able to speak to her. I understand you knew that she's been very ill and this week must have been h.e.l.l for you, Dave, unable to communicate. Like a true professional, you gave no indication.'Where did all this emotion come from? It appeared so suddenly, and with such a f.u.c.king intensity, that it must have been contained somewhere inside him waiting to explode. When the wagon had blown up at the beginning of their tour, he had felt like a rag doll thrown across it. Now he was a powerless rag doll again. But this blast came from inside him.The major said carefully: 'When my children were born, I probably cried more than they did.'Permission to cry. Well, Dave didn't want it. He was not going to give in to tears in front of the OC. He closed his eyes and thought of Jenny, lying in bed with a tiny baby lying on top of her, the way she had been with Vicky. He thought how much he loved her and Vicky and the new baby. The little girl had a pa.s.sport to his love, an automatic right of entry, and he didn't need to see her to know that. She was his baby and Jenny's, and a new birth brought with it the joy of hope and possibility. It didn't matter where in the world you were, that joy was the same. And now all the worry was over because everyone was safe.'I gather there is an email on its way with pictures which I will show you as soon as we get back to base,' said the major, stepping forward to shake his hand vigorously. 'Congratulations. Warm congratulations.'Dave managed to speak, although there was a thick crust around his voice. 'Thank you, sir.''It's very hard for you, not having access to a phone. As soon as we get back . . .''Yes, sir.'Dave wandered off into the camp, dazed. A number of people had seen the OC shaking his hand.'Everything all right?' asked Iain Kila. 'Got some news?'Dave nodded and told him. He managed to keep his voice on a railway track, straight and strong, so it couldn't be shunted by emotion. Kila pumped his hand and Dave was startled to see that the big, hard man had damp eyes.'Congratulations,' said Kila. 'Looking forward to buying you a drink when we get to Cyprus.''s.h.i.t, I'm really happy for you, Sarge,' said Jamie, and Dave could see he meant it.As the news spread, Dave received many congratulations and promises of drinks. He was surprised how affected some people were by the news, particularly those who were already fathers.He answered the same questions over and over again.'Pre-eclampsia, it's something to do with blood pressure.''Don't know how much she weighs.''Yeah, I bet Vicky's all over her.''Dunno what we're going to call her.''Jenny's mum was supposed to be there. I hope she was.'n.o.body said it. n.o.body said: 'You should have been there too.'When he came down from the tower, Finn was particularly happy with the news.'I'm certainly buying you a drink. Didn't like to tell you this, Sarge, but I was offering eleven to ten on that it was a boy.'Dave frowned but felt too happy to b.o.l.l.o.c.k him.'How many lads had a punt on that?' he asked.Finn grinned.'The whole f.u.c.king platoon.'

Chapter Fifty-four

DARREL TOOK AGNIESZKA AND LUKE TO THE BEACH. THEY MET AT THE supermarket and transferred a mountain of baby equipment from her car to his. Finally they transferred Luke himself.'You need a break,' said Darrel as they headed south to the coast. She had been upset after Jenny had given birth in an operating theatre without Dave or her mother or even Adi to hold her hand.'I should have stayed with her. But she was expecting her mother to come. And Luke . . .''You did the right thing, Aggie,' Darrel a.s.sured her.Agnieszka had continued to look miserable.'No. Dave in operating theatre is right thing.'But heading south for the coast was making Agnieszka feel more light-hearted and relaxed. They were having an Indian summer and the air sparkled in the sun.They parked on the clifftop and by now Luke was awake and beginning to look angry.'I think he a little bit hungry,' said Agnieszka, worrying that they would not get down to the sand before he had started to express his hunger in the earsplitting way he expressed all his needs.'OK, well, let's feed him now,' said Darrel. 'Where's the milk, where's the food?'She pointed to a bag and he lifted it out. With the other hand he unstrapped Luke. He carried everything to a sheltered seat overlooking the sea, sat down and proceeded to feed the surprised baby.Agnieszka stood watching. He held the child so tenderly in his arms. It moved her. It was the same with Jamie. She knew Jamie was now machine-gunner for his section and she had seen pictures of him in the past with an immense, dark weapon of crafted metal. She knew it was his job to kill people. Then he came home and held his baby with the same hands that had worked the killing machine and his gentleness never failed to touch her.She looked across the blue bay to the strange white rocks that stuck out of the water at the land's edge like teeth.Darrel was saying: 'There you are then, mate. Enjoying that? OK, let's wipe your mouth and have another go. Good, isn't it?'She swung round.'Why you so nice to my baby?''Because,' Darrel said, 'he's your baby.'He handed the contented bundle that was Luke to Agnieszka.'He needs a hug from you.'Agnieszka felt doubtful about this. She had found the baby buggy with its sheepskin lining far more to Luke's taste than any hug from her. Holding him when he screamed had never been a successful strategy. But she took him now. She looked down at his relaxed, satisfied face. He almost smiled. She began to rock him from side to side. He fixed his big, blue eyes on her and now he did smile. She smiled back.'How often do you do that?' asked Darrel.'He not usually like it.'She'd tried cuddling him and rocking him when he was born but nothing she did had been right for him. He'd glared at her with an angry pout and loudly, continually, endlessly expressed his dissatisfaction. And so he had become a nappy that needed changing, an open mouth that needed feeding, a loud scream that only walking, walking and more walking could silence, an angry, demanding little emperor who had to be placated and rocked to sleep. Then he was a patient, with his fits, his hospital visits and his doctors. But he was almost never a baby who needed cuddling.She said: 'He so calm it must be sea air.'Darrel agreed, and told her to carry him down to the beach while he followed with the stuff.So she carried Luke down the zigzag path, past sweet-smelling flowers, and he kept his eyes fixed on her all the way, except for the occasions when his focus slid to the blue sky and puffball clouds or the sharp outline of agaves on the cliff. He was asleep by the time they reached the beach.'Oh, I thought to change his nappy,' said Agnieszka.'Leave him, he's peaceful,' Darrel told her as they found a spot on the sand to make their own and laid out the towels and set up the sunshade over Luke. Agnieszka placed him carefully beneath it and he did not wake.She was embarra.s.sed to take off her clothes and reveal her body in its bikini. She fussed around the baby and the bags until Darrel had changed into his swimsuit under a towel.'I'm going for a swim,' he told her and she watched him walk towards the sea, lean and strong.Quickly she took off her own clothes and adjusted her bikini. Then she lay down under the warm blanket of the sun, feeling its rays bless her and kiss her, basking in its generosity. It was different from the sun Jamie was always sheltering from in Afghanistan. The English sun was kind. She closed her eyes and felt its light and heat on her eyelids.Everything was all right when Darrel was around. He had been a good friend to her lately. He had said that they would be friends, no more, and the friendship had made life more pleasant. She was happy. Luke was happy. Darrel was happy. It was a simple structure and its simplicity gave it strength.She became aware of a shadow falling over her. She opened her eyes. Darrel was standing nearby, looking at her.'Asleep?' he asked.'No.'He lay down beside her and it was like the tide coming in: she could sense his presence straight out of the sea, wet and cool.She opened her eyes. He was lying close to her.'You are beautiful,' he said.She told him: 'Please don't say this.'He kissed her. Not a long kiss, or a hungry one. His lips were salty. She pulled away and lay back in the sand and closed her eyes. She tried to imagine Jamie's face. But it was a blur. Jamie was an absence. And Darrel was here, he was now.He said: 'Aggie . . . when we get back tonight, I don't want to drop you off by your car and drive away.'She kept her eyes closed.'Aggie . . . look at me.'She opened her eyes. He was leaning over her. The sun had already found his cheeks and forehead. He looked healthy and full of fresh air.'Aggie. I want to come home with you tonight. I don't want to leave you outside a b.l.o.o.d.y supermarket.'She felt relaxed and happy. She certainly did not want the day to end with Darrel driving off while Luke screamed. And she did not want to go home alone to the blocked drain and the dingy house. Jamie was away somewhere and would not ring. Luke would have a fit. It was unbearable.'Well, Aggie?'She said: 'I want you to come home, Darrel. I do. But . . .''We'll go to your place, then. And see how we feel.' He rolled to one side. He had been shielding her face from the sun and now it smothered her again. 'No pressure, Ags. I just want to make this a perfect day.'

Chapter Fifty-five

JAMIE AND DAVE WERE ON STAG. THE CAMP WAS QUIET. ONLY THE air moved a little, descending slowly down the hillside. When it reached Dave's cheeks it felt like hot breath. He watched a piece of litter, lying inside the wire fence below them. It didn't even flutter.He looked out across the plain and then back to the hills. Nothing moved. He looked inside the camp. Nothing. He knew Emily was in her lab. There was no sign of any other civilian at work. The soldiers who weren't on duty were under their ponchos, asleep. He glanced over at the major's poncho. The soles of two feet were visible beneath it.'Thank G.o.d we're going home tomorrow,' said Dave, realizing he had just called Sin City home. But compared to this G.o.dforsaken piece of nowhere it was full of comforts. The cookhouse, with tables to eat at. A phone to call Jenny from. The chance of seeing pictures of the baby on the OC's computer. Even the Colour Boy's bowls seemed like a luxury if they had some cool, clear water in them for a good wash. But most of all he wanted to speak to Jenny.There were strange, unpredictable moments, just standing here on stag or sitting in the ops room, when he got what felt like an actual physical ache in his heart for Jenny. He always meant to tell her about those aches next time he spoke to her. Although he never did.'You're definitely first in line for the phone when we get back,' said Jamie, as though he could read Dave's mind.'Yeah. For once I won't be waiting.''And I want to get the phone after you. I really want to talk to Agnieszka.''Going to try to sort things out?''Yeah. I'm hoping we've just got our wires crossed. Or she was just having a bad day last time we spoke.''You'll probably find that everything's all right,' said Dave. 'It's easy to read too much into a short conversation when you're this far apart.''But after six months, she'll have changed. And so will I. So will Luke.''Yeah. Nothing's ever exactly the same. You have to work hard to find your place in the family again.''It'll be different for you at home.'Involuntarily, Dave smiled.'Two kids. It's going to take a bit of getting used to.'The silence returned. The half-hearted breeze gave up and stopped completely. Nothing moved at all in the intense heat. Even Jamie, at Dave's side, was as still as a reptile. Was there life somewhere in that vast expanse of sand? Small mammals, bugs? Maybe they burrowed down deep where the earth was cooler and went to sleep until last light.It would be easy to fall asleep on stag in this heat and have the p.i.s.s taken out of you for ever. Except that suddenly Dave felt wide awake. His back straightened. His senses strained.Jamie looked at him.'What's up?''There's something happening.'Jamie looked around at the camp with its hardware and soft tents. The flat desert plain was so still that even the dust lay pinned to the ground by the sun. The Early Rocks rose like statues. And on the other side of the camp were the hills and then the purple shadows of the mountains.'Can't see anything.''Over there.'Dave's back was stiff now and his face alert.'But it's so quiet and-''It's the wrong sort of quiet.'Jamie put his head on one side and Dave knew he was considering whether it was possible that his trusted sergeant had finally cracked.'Don't look at me like that. Look at the hills. Look across the camp to Three Boulders and then right and down some. Now stare.'There was a long pause.'I'm staring. And I'm not seeing anything.''Keep looking at the shadows. They seem still but they're not. They're moving. Very, very slowly.'Jamie watched.Dave said: 'I only saw it when my eyes started to glaze over a bit.''What are your eyes, f.u.c.king infra-red?' There was admiration in Jamie's voice and Dave knew that he could see it too now.'Doesn't look right, does it?' Dave said.'It's like watching a ship going over the horizon. You think it's still, then it disappears and you realize it was going all the time.'Neither man moved. Their eyes were fixed across the camp to the side of the hill.'I reckon Angry McCall might have been right,' Dave said. 'I reckon there's someone-'But he was silenced by an extraordinary sight. A small, hunched figure in shirt sleeves and body armour but without a helmet was walking outside the perimeter wire towards the hillside.

Chapter Fifty-six

AGNIESZKA AND DARREL DROVE UP FROM THE COAST, ACROSS moorland and forest, through the centre of the city and finally towards the rolling countryside where the camp was situated. And all the time, Agnieszka was asking herself what she wanted to happen next.When the time came to turn into the supermarket where they had left her car, Darrel did not turn. He did not look at Agnieszka or ask her if she wanted to change her mind, he just drove on past the supermarket towards her house.Luke was quiet. Agnieszka did not speak. She was frightened now. What was she doing? Did she still love Jamie? You didn't just switch off love. Thinking of him caused a strange, twisting feeling like a corkscrew buried inside her chest. She loved him but his absence was immense. Gradually he was becoming a ghost, a vapour, a shadow, as though one day he would disappear altogether.She glanced at Darrel. His face and body were more than the light and shadow of memory. But if he went home tonight then he would just be a memory too.Her heart beat faster as they entered the camp. She felt sick.As they neared the house she saw, at the end of the street, a dark-skinned woman surrounded by small children. Adi Kasanita. Trailing home from the rec with her kids before bedtime on a summery evening. Adi's walk was slow and relaxed. She swung her hips as she pushed the buggy with one hand and held a toddler with the other. The older children were playing some sort of game at her side, surging around her like water. Adi was talking to them and laughing. She looked content with her uncomplicated life.Agnieszka watched her and knew that Adi had got it right. Yes, Adi, relaxed and smiling with her kids on a warm evening, was the way it was supposed to be. The day by the sea, her car hidden at the supermarket, their furtive kisses on the beach, it hadn't really been wonderful. It had been complex and furtive.She stole another quick glance at Darrel. For a moment she hated him. He made her feel so good that she had chosen not to notice that he was a huge, threatening storm gathering over peaceful waters. But she knew it really. That was why her heart thudded and her head spun with nausea.'Darrel. Don't come in. You can't come in.'He looked across at her in surprise.'What?''I very sorry. I want that you drive back to supermarket for my car.''Ags, you're scared. You don't have to be scared.''Don't come to house, Darrel, it very dangerous for me.''Listen-''No, please! Please don't come home now.'He sighed and pa.s.sed her house without even slowing. At the end of the street they turned.'What changed your mind?''I very sorry, Darrel.''Was it that woman with the kids you were looking at? Is she a friend of yours?''Yes.''I thought you said you don't have any friends here.'Agnieszka closed her eyes. It was true that Adi wasn't really a friend. She was one of a group of women who had invited Agnieszka into their circle often enough, and Agnieszka had chosen to remain outside their orbit. She had thought it was boring, stifling and small-minded. Now it looked warm and attractive. It looked safe. But if Darrel came home with her she would be stepping far, far from its protection.He said: 'If you're worried what your friends think, I could come back later, maybe. When it's night.''No.''I'll make sure no one sees me.'She shook her head vigorously.'No, Darrel. Please. It wrong to do this.'She waited for his reaction. For a minute his face darkened and he looked angry. Then she saw him wrench a smile from somewhere.'OK, Ags. We've had a good day. We won't ruin it now. We'll stay friends,' he said.'Yes,' she said. 'We are friends, just friends, Darrel.'At the sound of her own sureness, her nausea evaporated and she felt the relief, all through her body to her nerve endings, of a narrow escape.

Chapter Fifty-seven

'f.u.c.kING h.e.l.l!' SAID DAVE.He and Jamie stared in silence for a moment at the sight of Martyn Robertson crossing the desert, alone, unarmed and unguarded. His walk was shambling in the heat. He leaned slightly to the left as if he'd grown that way over the years. He was crossing the flat area around the base and now reached a spot where the hills began. That spot was directly to the right and down from Three Boulders.Dave's body was already swelling and his face expanding as he filled himself with breath to yell.'Staaaand tooooo!'Before his words could bounce back at him from the hillside he was leaping down from the sangar.'Keep shouting,' he told Jamie. Stand to, stand to, stand to Stand to, stand to, stand to, whispered the desert to the camp and the hills to the desert.Heads started to appear under ponchos. Jamie could see Dave running towards the sentries at the main entrance. He looked up into the hills. Martyn was still visible, scrambling over the layers of pink rock now, towards the suspect shadows. He had heard the shout, glanced over his shoulder and evidently chosen to ignore it. He continued climbing. Jamie waited to wave at him, but Martyn did not turn again.'Staaaaaand tooooooooo!' Jamie roared.Now more men were emerging from ponchos, stumbling in untied boots, cramming on their helmets, looking around them bewildered.'Staaaaaaaaand toooooooo!' Jamie yelled into the echo of his last shout.Dave had reached the sentries.'What the f.u.c.k is that idiot doing out there?'The lad looked scared.'It was all quiet and he said he needed a c.r.a.p. Wanted a bit of privacy.''f.u.c.king d.i.c.khead!' Dave grabbed the lad's radio.'It was all quiet,' the other sentry repeated defensively.'What's going on?' Major Willingham's voice over the radio.'Topaz Zero's out there and so's the Taliban,' Dave told him.'Out there! Outside the fence!' the officer roared. 'What's Martyn doing?''Said he wanted a c.r.a.p in privacy but he's walked right into the choggies. Look to Three Boulders, right and down a bit . . .'The major had his binoculars out but by now Martyn had gone. He had completely evaporated. Dave wanted to believe he was crouching down enjoying his privacy somewhere but he knew it was too late. It had been too late five minutes ago. They had lost Martyn Robertson. Their primary task here, the focus of all their efforts, had been to protect the contractors. And they had lost their key man. He had walked into the arms of the Taliban.'Get two vehicles out there NOW, and f.u.c.king get him back,' the major roared. Within seconds Dave was up in a Vector with the driver, eight men and another wagon behind him, but the pit in his stomach told him they were wasting their time.They were barely out of the gate when the firing began. The Vectors headed straight towards it. Behind them, inside the barbed-wire fence, their own firing team were already in trenches, a line of helmets and weapons looking strangely neat inside the dust clouds. On the other side, hidden somewhere in the pink-purple rock of the hillside, were the enemy. And Martyn. Dave thought he could make out his footprints in the sand.Men were starting to pile out of the wagons into the dust and clatter of machine guns and AK47s. Dave saw an RPG sailing gracefully in the direction of Emily's lab.He did not have time to see where it exploded, or whether it had exploded at all, because the OC, recognizing the enemy's superior fire power and the vulnerability of the vehicles, had ordered the men back inside. The drivers roared straight on around the perimeter and in through the entrance.'That's just about the fastest lap I've ever done,' Dave's driver said. Dave looked across to Emily's Vector. She was standing at the door, her arms crossed. Her engineers were lying face down on the desert's sandy floor, their bodies half under the wagons, as they had been told to do in case of attack. One was remonstrating with her, trying to persuade her to lie down but she remained defiantly standing, glaring at the Taliban.'Get down!' he yelled at her. 'We've lost one civilian, we don't want to lose another.'She turned to him now and, even from this distance, he could see not confrontation but shock and bewilderment on her face.'Get down!' he repeated. She slowly lowered her body, hanging onto the side of the Vector.But he knew the firing wouldn't last long. The Taliban had their hostage. While most were putting down fire, some would be spiriting Martyn away. If they hadn't already killed him.Sure enough, the firing eased rapidly and then stopped.Dave listened as the OC, standing with one hand on his hip, spoke into his radio. 'Contact initiated when Topaz Zero decided to go for a c.r.a.p outside the base. Vehicles sent to retrieve him. Enemy then engaged us with RPGs. By the time we got to a.s.sistance of Topaz Zero we had lost him. I repeat, we have lost Topaz Zero. Unknown dead or alive. a.s.sume taken hostage. Over.'The voice from HQ was crisp and formal. 'Roger. Topaz Zero has been taken hostage. Wait. Out.'The major kept a few men back to guard the camp and civilians and sent the rest out to scour the hillside. While he requested Apaches to help with the search he stood helplessly staring at the spot where Martyn had disappeared, as though he would mysteriously reappear.1 Platoon ran across the desert to the hills. Outside the wire the expanse felt bigger and the heat fiercer. And the hillside itself was different when you were climbing across its face. The boulders were not big, round shapes but ma.s.sive, dark obstacles. Hostile bushes tried to hold you back, small, sharp rocks slid treacherously away beneath your feet.'f.u.c.king h.e.l.l, Sarge,' said Bacon. 'It's steeper than it looks.''If we had our Bergens on, we'd never get anywhere,' said Binns. His wiry body coped well with the climb when he had no weight on his back.'Stop kicking f.u.c.king rocks down here,' roared a red-faced Angus, from further down the hill. He was carrying ammo.'Can't f.u.c.king help it,' called Finn. 'They just slide out from under our feet.'Dave halted and turned to where he thought he had seen the shadows. Breathlessly he spoke on PRR. 'Can you hear me, Jamie?'The sangar looked far away. Jamie held up a hand.'Are we anywhere near the place we saw them?''Nope, you're way out.'Angus arrived and flopped down on a rock next to Dave, gasping loudly for breath.'We can't be!' said Dave. 'We're down and to the right of Three Boulders!''You're too far down and you're hardly right at all.''f.u.c.king h.e.l.l.'They sighed and carried on across the sizzling face of the hill, sweating and silent, too shocked by what had happened even to moan.A shout went up from the boss.'They were here! They left ammo!' He held up some spent cases.'Yeah, you're in the right sort of area now,' Jamie told them.'They've made quite a nest around these bushes,' reported the boss. 'The ground's all flattened out. There's a bit of food and a couple of rags . . . they were here a long time.''I knew it,' said Angus. 'I f.u.c.king knew it. They've been there for days. I saw them.'No one looked at him.'You were right, Angry,' said Jamie on PRR.'s.h.i.t, McCall, I wish we'd taken more notice of you,' said Dave. 'f.u.c.k it.''Pity Martyn didn't believe you,' said Finn quietly.Angus and Finn looked at each other for a long moment.'Nah,' Angus said. 'Nah, the poor b.a.s.t.a.r.d thought he was doing the right thing.''Er . . . Sarge . . .'Dave turned to Binns.'What'll they do to Topaz Zero?'CSM Kila stumbled up to them before Dave could answer.'I'll tell you what they'll do to Topaz Zero!' They waited while he tried to catch his breath.'I s'pose they'll kill him,' said Streaky.'Oh, they'll kill him,' agreed Kila. 'And they'll put it online for everyone to see. So they'll make sure they behead him or skin him alive or disembowel him or something really entertaining.'There was a silence. It was broken by the distant throb of helicopters.Boss Weeks, who was further around the hillside, stooped by a bush.'Here too! Another nest.' He held up a sandal. The sole was worn away. 'They even made a path . . .'He ordered 2 Section to accompany him and they stumbled off, scrambling on loose rocks, hanging onto boulders, swearing at the bushes as they tried to follow the path the insurgents had made. Dave thought how quickly and stealthily the Taliban hiding there must have moved along these paths. It was easy to dismiss them as primitive but their thin brown bodies were lightly clothed and burdened only by a weapon, which made them the fittest fighting force for the terrain.The voices of 2 Section grew faint. On the radio the boss said: 'There's so many paths it's like