The last thing I need is her prying into my business. This is something I need to deal with on my own.

After I tilt back my fifth shot of Jack for the night, I swallow back my pride, stand up, and look back at Sara. "Give me a bottle of whipped cream." Sara reaches in the fridge, tosses it to me, and I catch it and walk away.

I stand in the doorway of the back room for a few minutes pushing my thoughts away, until a slow seductive song plays over the speakers. Without thinking, my body starts moving to the rhythm of the music.

I run my hands down the front of my body while grinding my hips to the beat. My jeans are sitting low on my waist and my b.u.t.ton down shirt is rolled up at the sleeves, halfway undone. The girls take notice and instantly start screaming while waving their money around.

Stopping at the first round table I set the bottle of whipped cream down, grab the closest girl's chair, and spin her around to face me. Her eyes go wide as I straddle her lap and grab the whipped cream off the table.

I start grinding my hips to the music, pushing my erection into her as I grab her hands and place them on my chest. "Undo my shirt. Slowly."

She starts doing as told. I tilt my head back and spray whipped cream into my mouth. Reaching beside me, I grab for the s.e.xy brunette close by and run my whipped cream covered tongue across her soft lips, slowly and teasingly. I love teasing these women. It's the perfect distraction.

When I pull away I see the brunette run her tongue over her mouth, licking off every last drop of cream. She sits back in her chair and watches me with hooded eyes, no doubt wanting to taste more.

Noticing that my shirt is now undone and hanging completely open, I yank my shirt off and wrap one of my hands in the back of the blondes hair with one hand, while squirting whipped cream all the way down my chest, stopping at the top of my jeans.

I grind my hips against her one more time before standing up and reaching for the brunette's hand, pulling her to her feet. "On your knees," I command.

She gets down on her knees and all the women start screaming random things.

"Take it off, Hemy!"

"Grab his d.i.c.k, Katy."

I block out the noise and smirk down at her. "Take my pants off."

Looking up into my eyes, she reaches for my jeans and slowly starts undoing them.

"Faster," someone screams.

That must motivate her, because she yanks my zipper down and rips my jeans down the top of my muscular thighs. I place my hand on her head and push it against the thin fabric of my white briefs.

After rolling my hips a few times, I pull away from her and smear a huge amount of whipped cream down the length of my hard c.o.c.k. "You ready to get dirty?"

She nods her head as I rub my finger over the fullness of her lips, getting a feel for what's going to be wrapped around my c.o.c.k. "Lick it off. All of it, from the dirtiest place first."

Running her tongue over her lips, she grabs my waist and leans in to press her tongue against my pelvis, rolling it in the trail of whipped cream. Her eyes watch mine as she slowly lowers her mouth, running her tongue down my defined abs and over my c.o.c.k.

I wrap my hands in her hair and close my eyes as I slowly rock my hips into her face. I feel her teeth softly nibble my piercings and I yank her head back before stroking my hand over my c.o.c.k and stepping away from her.

Ignoring the screaming women, I make my way over to the couch, and grab for the chick in a small black dress and heels that is standing up waving money at me.

Gripping her a.s.s, I wrap her legs around my waist and start grinding my hips to the music. I move, slow and deep as if f.u.c.king her. She arches her back and wraps her hands in her own hair before sticking a wad of cash in the front of my briefs and moaning out.

I pull her back up and thrust into her one more time before setting her back down to her feet.

Just as I'm about to head over to the next table, I catch a glimpse of a woman with platinum blonde hair and tattoos. I stop dead in my tracks, my heart racing as I watch her, until she turns around to face me.

As soon as I realize it's not Onyx, my heart rate slows down and I let out a breath of frustration. A part of me wishes it were her.

"f.u.c.k!"

I run my hands through my hair and just stand there. The screaming doesn't die down as they wait for me to continue my rounds.

A part of me doesn't want to. I knew this s.h.i.t would happen. I told myself I wouldn't let myself think about her anymore. Yeah, well great f.u.c.king job.

"Hemy. Dude!"

I snap out of it enough to see Stone approaching. He grips my shoulder and pushes my chest. "What the h.e.l.l is up, man? You're just standing here. You've been acting funny since last night."

I push his hand away and grind my jaw. "Nothing. I just needed a second." I pause and exhale, hating myself for what I'm about to do. "I have to go."

"What the h.e.l.l? What do you mean?"

I grab for my jeans and start heading for the door. "I have somewhere I have to go. It's important. I need you to take over my room."

Stone gives me a confused look, but doesn't question me further. "Sure. Yeah. Go then."

I walk through the bar, past Sara who gives me a confused look, and outside over to my truck. I quickly hop inside and shove my keys into the ignition while tossing my jeans into the pa.s.senger seat. As stupid as I know I'm being, I know it's smarter than just letting her walk away again. I refuse to let her disappear from my life now that I've found her. There's always been something about her that draws me in, holding me to her. It's a curse as much as a craving.

I start the engine and pull out onto the dark street. Without a second thought, I head toward the house I saw her at last night. I don't give a s.h.i.t what anyone thinks. I'm going to find out where she's at and I'm going to make her mine. Her and I both know that we are meant to be together. The hard part is making her see that, making her see the new me.

After about ten minutes, I find myself pulling up in front of the small white house. I kill the engine, grab for my jeans, and hop out to put them on.

Just as I'm b.u.t.toning them, the front door opens and two girls walk out. I notice one of them right away: Jade.

She gives me a curious look before smiling and walking over to me.

"Look who's back," she says teasingly. "You come back for your tie?"

I lean against my truck and look over her shoulder at the door. "It's not what I forgot, it's who," I say firmly. "Where can I find Onyx?"

Jade quickly turns away and starts heading for the little black car that is sitting in the driveway. "I don't know," she calls over her shoulder. "I'll let her know you're looking for her."

I quickly catch up to her and grab her arm. "Tell me." I walk over to stand in front of her. I look into her eyes so she knows how important this is to me. "I need to know where she is. Can you just tell me where to find her?"

She lets out a breath of frustration before looking over at the other girl who nods at her. She turns back to me and rolls her eyes. "Follow us. She's at work and we're heading there now. I'm going to get in deep s.h.i.t for this," she mumbles.

"Thank you, Jade." I don't waste any time jogging over to my truck and jumping inside. I've waited too d.a.m.n long for this s.h.i.t and she's going to listen to what I have to say.

I follow the little black car for what seems like forever. In reality it was probably a whole fifteen minutes. Still, fifteen minutes too long, and now I'm anxious as s.h.i.t.

When we pull up in front of the huge black building, I sit there wondering if this is some kind of joke. There's no way that the Onyx I knew would work at a place like this.

I sit here for a few minutes until I see Jade and the other girl get out of the car. Jade looks over at me and waves her arm for me to follow. "You coming or what?"

I take a deep breath to calm myself before getting out of my truck and slamming the door behind me. Every part of me wants to scream and break something. The idea of her working here makes me sick to my stomach. "Vixens Club," I growl to myself while staring up at the neon sign.

She's a d.a.m.n Vixen? A stripper . . . like me. Well f.u.c.k me.

Chapter Five.

Onyx "Okay, girls, just remember to have fun. This is free night. You are welcome to roam as you wish. Just remember the rule: no touching unless you put their hands there. You know what to do if someone breaks the rule. I'm sure there's no need for me to go over it again."

I get a few head nods from the girls and a h.e.l.l yeah from Ash.

I stand up from straddling my chair and walk in front of it, facing my group of girls. The first shift of the night is almost done, and I made sure that all of my girls work together all night. I always stress their safety on free nights. I don't like the idea of not being able to keep my eye on them individually. There are quite a few creeps that come in here and I would hate to have to break a heel off in a few of their a.s.ses. That's why I have "the talk" with my girls once a week.

"Alright, ladies. Let's get ready to make some cash then." I smile and head over to my makeup station as the other girls head over to the floor.

I've been hiding in the back for the last twenty minutes. I'm not really sure why, but my game seems to be a bit off tonight. I keep telling myself it has nothing to do with Hemy. The truth is, I'm not very convinced. I could never convince myself of anything when it came to him. I went to sleep with him on my mind and woke up with him on my mind. I guess not much has changed over the years.

"s.h.i.t. Stop thinking, Onyx." I rub my hands over my face and take a deep breath. "He'll only hurt you again. Don't do this to yourself. You finally got rid of that pathetic little girl that was nothing but a doormat for him."

I curse to myself when I feel a hand grip my shoulder. I have no idea who it is or how much of my rambling they have heard, but I suddenly feel really nervous. I'm not ready to explain Hemy to anyone. I'm not sure I'll ever be.

"What's going on, Onyx?" Jade takes a seat at the makeup table next to mine and starts digging through her makeup bag. "Something's been bothering you since last night. You can talk to me . . ."

"I'm fine." I force a smile and look at myself in the mirror. My blonde curls are wild tonight and my makeup is a little too dark on the eyes. I look a lot different than I did four years ago. I can't even imagine what Hemy must have thought when he saw me at the party last night. He seemed a little shocked, but couldn't seem to keep his eyes off of me. It made my heart race, making it hard for me to think straight.

I let out a little laugh and stand up, fixing my black lingerie. It's barely covering anything, yet it makes me feel more confident and alive than I have felt in years. "You know I just get a little stressed on free nights. I worry about you girls roaming around where I can't see you all. That's all."

Jade gives me a look as if she wants to say something. She almost looks nervous. She opens her mouth a few times and then shakes it off before starting in on her makeup. "Yeah. I know," she says softly. "We do fine though. You taught us all well. Stop worrying so much."

I stand here for a few seconds before I realize that Lily isn't here yet, or that I've seen. The girls usually show up together since they're roommates. "Where's Lily?"

Jade nervously clears her throat while walking over to the closet to grab her outfit. "She's here. She'll be back in a minute. She's, ah . . . showing someone around."

"Alright," I say softly. She's definitely acting a bit strange right now and I'm not so sure that I like it. "I'll see you out there."

"Sounds good. See you in a few."

After walking through the door, it takes my eyes a couple minutes to adjust to the dim lighting. The music is playing loud and the room is filled with a light fog so I can barely make out Ash and the other girls dancing at tables for the overly eager dirtb.a.l.l.s.

I barely get ten feet into the room before I am called over to a table. Although I'm still feeling a bit off, I shake it off and walk over with a seductive smile.

"Hey, boys," I say sweetly.

"Mmm . . . very nice." One of the three men holds up a handful of cash as I lean over and grab his tie, winding it up in my hand. I hear him let out a little moan, so I wrap it tighter and pull myself to him, straddling his chair.

"So you like it rough, big boy?" I yank his hair back and starting moving my hips to the music, grinding myself against his erection.

He bites his bottom lip and gets ready to place his hand on my a.s.s, but I yank his hair as hard as I can, causing him to growl. "d.a.m.n, you're rough, baby," he says with a hint of laughter. "I would love to see the things you do in bed."

"That won't be happening," a deep, rough voice growls behind me.

My heart instantly drops to my stomach as soon as the words leave his lips. It doesn't take me having to look behind me to know who it is. I've heard that voice a million times before and I'll never forget it. The only difference is, now it has a deeper edge to it.

"Excuse me," the guy below me bites out. He lets out a sarcastic laugh and places a possessive arm around my waist. "She's in my lap. Wait your turn. If it ever comes."

With my left hand, I choke him with his tie while yanking his head back with my right. "Don't ever touch me again."

The guy starts choking and I look back at Hemy to see his fists balled at his sides. I don't need him to protect me. He has a history of fighting and that's the last thing that I need him doing right now. He would kill this guy. This douchebag is nowhere even close to Hemy's huge build.

"Don't even think about it, Hemy." I push away from the guy and he starts fighting for air and pulling at his tie. "What the h.e.l.l are you doing here?"

"Crazy, b.i.t.c.h," the guy chokes out through breaths.

Hemy looks down at the guy with a hard look, so I place my hand across his chest and push him away.

He takes in a deep breath and exhales, his jaw steeled. I can tell he's fighting really hard right now to keep his control. "I could ask you the same," he growls. "This place isn't you."

"Ha!" I walk away from him, but he keeps following at my heels. "Like you have room to talk. You're a male stripper. Do I need to remind you of that?"

He grabs my arm to stop me from walking. "Yeah, and I'm a piece of s.h.i.t. That is the difference." He turns me around to face him and backs me up against the wall with his arms and body blocking me in. "You are too good for a place like this. What the h.e.l.l, Onyx? You could get hurt here. I would f.u.c.king kill someone for hurting you. Do you get that?"

I find an empty room in the back and push him into it. Then I turn away and fight to calm my breathing.

Neither of us speak for a few minutes.

"What are you doing here, Hemy? How did you . . ." I stop as I put the pieces together. "d.a.m.n you, Jade," I whisper.

I feel the warmth of Hemy's body as he steps up behind me. A part of me wants to lean into him, but the rational part of me moves away. "I can't stop thinking about you, Onyx. You've been on my mind every day for ten years." He wraps an arm around my waist and presses his body against mine. It feels good. So d.a.m.n good. "Don't tell me I haven't been on yours," he whispers, leaning into my ear. "Tell me I've been on your mind." He pushes my hair behind my ear before brushing his lip piercing up my neck. "Say it."

I let out an unwanted moan as my eyes close to his touch. The feel is so familiar, yet it feels so much better than before. My body is reacting in a way it hasn't reacted to anyone but him. It's unstoppable. "Yes," I admit while finally pulling away and spinning around. "You have. What do you expect? You hurt me. You broke my heart, dammit."

He lets out a frustrated groan and runs a hand through his short beard. That s.e.xy beard. I can't help but to imagine it rubbing against my naked flesh. Everything about Hemy is s.e.xier than I remember. He's taller, thicker, full of tattoos and has long, thick, hair that I want to pull. Not to mention those piercings. It makes me wonder where else he might be pierced. He always was the wild one.

"I'm not the same person I was back then." My eyes land on his bare chest as he takes a step toward me. "I'm different now."

"Oh yeah?" I swallow as I reach out to trace his tattoo with my fingers before pulling away. "How so?"

He wraps his hands into the back of my hair and presses me against the wall with his body flush against mine. "I would give my last breath to be with you." He looks into my eyes with an intensity that makes my knees go weak. "I will stop at nothing to make you mine, Onyx. I'm not letting you run away from me again, from us. You can hurt me all you want. You could stomp on me till I'm no longer breathing and it wouldn't make a difference. I'm. Not. Going. Anywhere."

Inside, I am going crazy. I can't think straight and my body feels like giving out on me. I can't give myself away though. As much as I wish I could, Hemy can never be trusted.

"Hemy," I say firmly. "Don't start something you're not going to like. I'm not letting myself get crushed by you again. Things are different now. You're not the only one that has changed. Do you get what you put me through?" I place my hands on his chest and push him away. "How many girls had their hands on you, how many nights I cried myself to sleep not knowing if you were even alive."

"I'll be with you every f.u.c.king night. You'll never have to worry about that s.h.i.t again." He pounds his fist into the wall before placing both hands against it. "I'll wake up next to you and fall asleep holding you for the rest of my f.u.c.king life. Nothing else matters anymore. I've learned to let go and move on."

I suck in a burst of air and cover my face. Those are the words I longed to hear for so long in the past and they never came. Hearing those words makes my heart feel as if it's about to burst out of my chest. The ache is so strong that I have to grip my chest.