I can feel her wetness on my stomach, because she is wearing a short dress with only her panties between us, so I turn us around until she is sitting on top of a table. I run my hand across it to knock a few things out of the way before pulling my shirt and jacket completely off and throwing it aside.

I hear a few girls scream, so I look over to see Stone already down to a pair of white briefs. He has some girl in a chair and is grinding his d.i.c.k in her face.

"Holy s.h.i.t! Take it off! I can feel it on my face," the girl screams. "Oh my G.o.d, it's so hard."

"Bite it," another girl screams. "Take me next!"

I ignore all the noise behind me and focus on the birthday girl. She's s.e.xy with long red hair and big blue eyes. The dress she is wearing is now pushed up above her hips and she is looking at me as if she's ready to f.u.c.k. This drives me wild, especially with everyone watching.

"Just so you know, I'll let the birthday girl touch." I lean into her ear and whisper, "Anything you want."

Her breathing picks up as she looks over my shoulder and then back at me. "I like the sound of that." She smiles and bites her bottom lip. "Dance for me. I've always loved a man in a suit."

I pull her by her thighs so that her body is hanging slightly off the table. I wrap my hands into the back of her hair and press my c.o.c.k against her heat, while grinding my hips. "Touch me," I whisper. "I'll even let you taste it."

Her hand reaches down in between us as she strokes my c.o.c.k through the fabric. Her eyes widen as she takes in the size and piercings. "Oh. My. G.o.d." She licks her lips and closes her eyes as she strokes it faster. "I'm so d.a.m.n h.o.r.n.y. It's my birthday, you know." She leans in to my neck and kisses it. "No one will mind if I have a little fun. No judging tonight."

"Is that right," I ask. "I can take you right here if you want. I'm here for entertainment and it's what I do best. I'll f.u.c.k you here, in front of your friends, and put on a good f.u.c.king show."

Reaching down with one hand I undo my pants and pull them slightly down my hips so the tip of my c.o.c.k is showing. I move my hips into her and start swaying fast as the song picks up in beat. She's leaning into me, moaning, until her eyes land on the tattoo on my side. She eyes it for a few seconds before speaking. "Onyx," she whispers. "Holy s.h.i.t!" She looks behind me and around for a few seconds before smiling and fingering for someone to come join us. "Look at this. One of the strippers has your name tattooed on him. That is crazy. I don't know anyone else by that name."

I turn beside me to see a woman with platinum blonde curls, tattoos, and piercing green eyes. The whole world crashes around me. It's not just any woman. It's her. It's Onyx. My Onyx. Except . . . she's different now. She's even s.e.xier than I remember and she looks as if she's just seen a f.u.c.king ghost. I can't breathe for a moment as I take her in, trying to decide if this is really happening. It's been four years, four f.u.c.king years. She is the most beautiful woman, still, to this day.

Her eyes meet mine and her whole body stiffens, but she doesn't speak. Her eyes just take me in as if trying to figure out how I look so different.

Well, d.a.m.n! I am trying to figure out the same. When did she get all of those d.a.m.n tattoos and color her hair? She looks wild and dangerous. I love it.

She's stunning, hypnotic, and addicting . . . and I want her.

Four years I have wondered where she's at and here she is right in my d.a.m.n face.

Chapter Three.

Onyx My heart has literally just stopped in my chest. Four years. I have gone four years avoiding the very man that is standing next to me with his d.i.c.k practically hanging out of his pants. And of course, it's for another woman. I guess some things never change.

Hemy. My Hemy?

No matter how hard I want to deny it, my traitorous heart gives me away. This man still makes my heart beat wild in my chest and steals my breath away with just one look into those amber eyes. This is going to be hard. Really hard.

It takes every bit of strength in me to pull my eyes away from his gaze. He's looking at me as if he wants to wrap his hands in my hair and pull me into his arms. The pain in his eyes is so intense that it causes an ache in my chest. It's the very look he gave me for the six years we had known each other. What started out as a friendship, turned into something pa.s.sionate, wild and painful. Very painful. I really tried healing him. I did. But a person can only take so much before they lose control themselves.

I take a step back to compose myself before bringing my eyes down to Hemy's side where sure enough, Onyx is tattooed in big black fancy letters. I feel my throat close up as tears sting my eyes. I won't do this here. I won't show my weakness. I'm different now. I've changed. I'm no longer that weak woman that just let everything slide. I'm much stronger now and no one will break me down again and let me lose myself. Not even . . . him.

"Onyx," Jade squeaks. "Do you see this?" She runs her hand over Hemy's skin causing instant jealousy that I quickly push away. I won't let myself feel. I can't.

I bring my eyes up to meet hers and put on my mask; my game face. "Yup. That is definitely my name. How strange is that?"

Hemy has finally come out of his frozen state and is now staring at me, looking me up and down. I look different. A lot different. But . . . I'm not the only one.

Holy h.e.l.l!

He runs his hands through his long hair and takes a step away from Jade. His hair is much longer than I remember. It's s.e.xier, making me want to run my hands through it myself. "Onyx," he says in a painful whisper. "What the f.u.c.k?" He goes to reach for my chin, but I move away too fast for him to even make contact. "You're back and you couldn't even tell me."

I watch as he rubs his hands over his face in frustration. Of course I didn't tell him. He ruined me. Paralyzed my heart and soul. I wanted to live with him but the truth was, I was doing anything but. I was far from living. I was surviving and he was barely even doing that.

"I'm not doing this, Hemy." I turn to walk away but he grabs my arm to stop me. My heart skips a beat from his touch. "Let go," I snap. "I don't owe you anything. I told you I was leaving and I did. I had to. This is not the time or place." I give him a quick once over, taking in his thick build, tattoos and piercings before yanking my arm from his reach and turning away. "Just do what you're getting paid to do."

Why the h.e.l.l does he have to look so d.a.m.n delicious? Even better than before. Not good. Not good at all.

"I'm sorry, Onyx. I had no idea." Jade jumps down from the table and fixes her tiara. "I'll grab another one of the guys. It's not a big deal. You two umm . . . I'm going."

I grab her arm right before she walks away. "No. You won't. He is getting paid good money for tonight and he better d.a.m.n well deliver. I'll be upstairs if you need me."

"Onyx, wait!"

I hold my hand out in front of me and start backing away. "Don't! Just please let my girls enjoy the night. That is all I ask. What we had was in the past. It doesn't matter now." I bite my tongue and walk away as fast as my heels will allow me. I can't let him talk. I can't let myself fall back into him.

I take the stairs two at a time and rush into the bathroom without looking back. As soon as the door closes, my back is pressed against it and I'm falling to the ground with the door supporting me. My hands grip my necklace as I fight to catch my breath. The necklace that Hemy gave me eight years ago. The only piece of him I took with me.

I'm not ready for this yet. I thought it would be different seeing him again. I thought I would be over us. I'm not. I'm so far from it. The truth is, if I hadn't run away when I did, then I would be wrapped up in his arms, clutching him instead of this d.a.m.n necklace. I came back too soon.

Why do I do this to myself? Why am I still doing it?

Four years of not seeing his face or hearing his soothing voice has been d.a.m.n near torture. Not a day went by that I didn't wonder where he was or what he was doing. The other problem was, I had to wonder who he was doing. I couldn't allow that to bring me down so I found other things to occupy my time. I can almost see why he did what he did. Almost.

After a few minutes, I calm down enough to push myself back up to my feet. I need to just suck it up. I can't let him see the effect he still has on me. That will only allow him to hurt me again. I won't let that happen.

"Okay. You can do this," I whisper. "He's part of the past. He's part of the past." I try to convince myself but I suck at it. "Dammit."

I stand up tall and take a deep breath before exhaling and pulling the bathroom door open. What I see in front of me causes my breath to be taken away . . . again.

Hemy is standing there still shirtless, just staring at the door as if he had been waiting for it to open.

"Onyx," Hemy whispers. His eyes are soft and caring as they meet mine. Something in them looks different but I can't tell what that means just yet. It's like he's looking at me with different eyes than before. It makes me want to believe he's clean but I know that's almost impossible. "We need to talk about us."

"Hemy," I breathe in frustration. I run my hands through my hair and close my eyes. "There is nothing to talk about. There hasn't been an us in a very long time."

I try to step around Hemy, but he places one arm against the wall, blocking me in. "There is an us. There always has been and you know it." He stops and brings his eyes down to my lips. He licks his own and slides his free hand in the back of my hair. "I've missed you, Onyx. I've tried for the last four years to find you but your family are stubborn a.s.sholes. I've ended up at their doorstep once a month for the last four years. They're definitely dedicated. I give them that."

Hemy admitting he tried for years to find me shakes something loose inside me that I thought was long lost, but I must remain strong.

I suck in a breath as his body presses against mine. "Hemy." I place my hand to his firm chest to block him from getting any closer. "Please," I plead. "Don't do this to me. It's only going to get you hurt. I don't want to hurt you. Don't make me do it." My eyes land on his lip ring as he bites it. d.a.m.n! I want to bite it too.

He takes a step back and untangles his hand from my hair before placing it against the wall so I'm completely blocked in. "You already have. You are right now, dammit. I can't believe you didn't tell me you were back. We were friends before we dated and you decided to throw that away as well. You left! You actually f.u.c.king left! "

I try to concentrate on what he's saying but him being so close is making it nearly impossible. I can't think straight. Especially when I have a clear view of my name going down his side. It's not only there, but it's huge. It's definitely there for show.

"When did you get my name on you?" I ask while staring at his naked torso. "Why? Why would you do that?"

He drops his arms and takes a step back. "I got it a year after you left. Why? I got it because I couldn't get over you. And I'm still not."

My mouth opens but I can't speak. If I do then it will put me right where I don't want to be. So instead, I just walk away.

"Onyx." I keep going. "f.u.c.k!"

I hear something crash as I walk down the stairs as calmly as I can and try to ignore the fact that Hemy is still into me. All I have to do is make it through this stupid party and then I'll just pretend I never saw him. Pretend that seeing him doesn't still take the breath straight from my lungs.

"There you are." Ash appears at the bottom of the staircase looking up at me. s.h.i.t. Not good. She brushes her brown curls behind her ear. "Why did you run off? The party is just starting. These boys are so s.e.xy. You need a dance from Stone."

I reach for Ash's arm and pull her around the corner just as Hemy starts walking down the steps. Today is definitely not the day for all this s.h.i.t to happen. It's too soon and I can't be sure that Hemy has changed. I need to think of something fast.

I press Ash against the wall and force a smile. "Hey. I'm sorry. I was talking to Roman and he needs you to go into work. I would but I really have to be somewhere." I brush her hair behind her ear and try to calm myself. "Is that okay? Would you mind going in? It's Jade's birthday and I-"

"Onyx," she cuts in. "Of course I will go in. I could use the money anyways. No worries. I'll leave now."

She goes to walk away, but I grab her arm to stop her. "Thank you. I owe you."

She flashes me her perfectly sweet smile. "You've already done enough for me. I'll catch you later at home."

I nod my head and lean against the wall as she walks outside. How the h.e.l.l am I going to do this? I don't know if I can.

Hemy appears around the corner with a frustrated scowl on his face. He looks around for a few seconds before his eyes find me. And when they do, they go soft for just a brief moment. "Don't run away again. I can't do this s.h.i.t, Onyx."

My eyes rake over his gorgeous, toned body before I pull my eyes away and walk toward the door. "I have to go. Just please go take care of Jade. Tell her I had to run out."

I pull the door open and start heading for my Harley. I pull the ponytail holder from my wrist and wrap my hair in it before straddling my bike.

Of course that stubborn a.s.s can't listen and I feel his presence behind me once again. Hemy walks over with wide eyes as I grip the handle and start the engine. "You drive a motorcycle," he says in disbelief. His eyes take in my ride before it finally dawns on him. "Is that my old Harley? You had it fixed up?"

I toss my helmet on and kick the stand up with my foot. "I fixed it."

"Since when do you know how to work on motorcycles?"

I give him a stern look and rev the engine. "I learned from the best." I rev the engine again and force a smile, fighting back my emotions. "Actually, I've learned a lot from the best."

His jaw grinds as he watches me drive away. I don't look back. I just drive, needing to escape.

c.r.a.p! c.r.a.p! c.r.a.p!

Chapter Four.

Hemy Onyx hasn't left my mind once since last night, not that I tried very hard to forget her. After she rode off on my old motorcycle, all I wanted to do was chase after her. I fought so hard not to jump into my truck and chase her down. I know she needs time. I'm trying to respect that, but it's been four d.a.m.n years already. How much more time could she possibly need?

I stood outside for a good twenty minutes, just staring out at nowhere, until Cale came outside looking for me. Without a word, I followed him inside and went back to work. Nothing about it felt right. All I could think was that I was doing something wrong. How can I feel that way when we aren't even together? She practically hates me, yet I feel bad for stripping for other women. Now isn't that some s.h.i.t.

"How's that engine coming along?"

I look up when Mitch snaps me out of my thoughts. He's standing on the right side of me, chewing on a sandwich. He's shirtless and equally as dirty and greasy as I am.

"Good. It's all good." I toss down my dirty rag and grab for my t-shirt. "I'm going to head out so I can shower before work. I'll finish this later."

Mitch looks between me and the red mustang I've been working on since eight this morning. He doesn't look happy. He knows something is up, but it's too soon for me to tell him. I don't feel like getting into it just yet. "What's up with you? You've been at this s.h.i.t for the last eleven hours and now you're about to head out to Walk Of Shame? Don't you think you need a break? If I had known you worked tonight then I would have kicked your a.s.s out of my shop a long time ago."

"It's nothing, man." I throw my shirt on and reach in my pocket for a cigarette. "I just wanted to get this s.h.i.t done. This Mustang has been in the shop since last week and it's not even ready to go yet. I'm sure the owner is ready for his ride back." I brush the loose strand of hair out of my face that has fallen out from the rubber band before lighting my cigarette. "I'll be back after work to finish it."

"Nah, I don't think so. Not tonight. You can finish it in the morning." Mitch takes the last bite of his sandwich before shutting the hood. "This car is off limits until you come back after you've gotten some sleep. I hope whatever is bothering you isn't going to make you want to-"

"It's not. s.h.i.t, Mitch." I take a long drag of my cigarette and grind my jaw. "I'm done with that s.h.i.t. You don't need to worry about it." I grip Mitch's shoulder before giving it a shove and walking backwards. "I'm outta here. I'll see your a.s.s bright and early."

"Alright, man. Sorry. Just looking out for ya." He tosses his dirty rag at me and starts walking over to help some scrawny little dude with gla.s.ses. "See ya."

"Yup," I mumble, while blowing out smoke. "See ya."

I arrive at Walk Of Shame early and with three shots of Jack and one shot of Patron in my system. The last thing I need to do is let thoughts of Onyx ruin my d.a.m.n night. I've been doing this s.h.i.t for too long to care about what someone else might think. Who gives a s.h.i.t if I strip for the pleasure of women? Onyx left a long time ago. I shouldn't feel guilty. This is me now.

When I walk in, I instantly spot Sara behind the bar. She smiles, but then gives me an oh s.h.i.t look before reaching for a shot gla.s.s. "Jack?" She doesn't even wait for me to answer before filling up the shot gla.s.s and sliding it in front of me.

I take it and quickly toss it back with a moan. I slam the empty gla.s.s down and look around the bar. "It's slow as s.h.i.t in here."

She smiles. "Because you just got here." She reaches for a gla.s.s and mixes a drink for one of her regulars. "They'll start piling in soon. I had at least ten girls ask me if you were working tonight. I told them you'd be in later ready to shake your d.a.m.n d.i.c.k. d.a.m.n vultures." She hands her regular his drink and then returns to me. "You look like s.h.i.t by the way."

"Thanks for noticing," I scowl. I scoot my empty gla.s.s in front of her. "One more, Sara. You owe me now."

"d.a.m.n you, Hemy. I swear you boys have issues. Cale is the only one that doesn't drink his d.i.c.k swinging life away." She gives me a curious look and gets ready to speak.

"Just do it, dammit."

She rolls her eyes and pours another shot.