"I'll be just a phone call away. You can count on Mom and Devin. Dad, too, to a degree. This is probably not the time or the place, but I find myself very attracted to you. I'm not going to do anything about it, because you're my brother's wife. I just wanted you to know."

Fanny wanted to say something, but the words wouldn't come.

What was so hard about saying, yes, I'm attracted to you too? She was still a married woman. She could not be the one to muck up her marriage. If and when she walked away, she wanted to do it with her head high, knowing she'd done everything possible to make the marriage work.

"It makes me a failure," Fanny whispered.

"How can you even think you're a failure with those four great kids? You made a wonderful family. Look at what you've done with this house, these grounds. And while you were doing all that you managed to start up a business that earns megadollars. There's no way you're a failure. Ash's problem is Ash's problem. As a kid, I found out that I had to stand firm with him. He used to try and intimidate me. Before I got -wise, it worked. Once I got in his face and called him on whatever it was we were dealing with, he backed right down. He doesn't deal well with confrontations when the con-fronter is as tough as he is. Tuck that away for future reference."

Fanny nodded. "It's nice out here in the evening, isn't it? I can't teU you how often I come out here once the kids are asleep. I try to count the stars. I watch the moon and try to find a face. Twice I saw a shooting star. I made a wish both times. Neither came true. Simon, I'm afraid of what the future holds. If I had a wish right now, this very minute, I'd wish for time to stand still. I'd wish for star-filled n^hts, warm summer breezes and someone to . .. to ... talk to, someone who understands me and cares about what I think and feel. When I was littie, I'd wish on a star at night for my mother to come home. I wanted a mother so bad. Why in the world am I telling you this?"

"Because you trust me," Simon said lightiy.

"I do, you know. Isn't that strange? I just met you. I have a confession to make. SaUie showed me pictures of you. She had them in a big box and kept them in one of the closets. When we moved here for good, I put the box in my closet and from time to time when I needed an immediate friend, I'd get the pictures out and line them up. I'd tell Ash's picture what I thought of him, and then I'd ask your picture for your opinion. It was a stupid, silly thing to do, but it got me over some very bad times. I used to study those pictures for hours at a time. I saw so many different emotions in both of you even though you were smiling for the camera. The last time I looked at the pictures I felt like I really knew you. Are you going to laugh at me now?"

"No. I even understand it."

364 Fern Michaels "You do?"

There was such amazement in Fanny's voice that Simon laughed. "We should be getting back. I imagine our guests are long gone. Are we going to do the fried egg thing?"

"Hard to tell. Depends on the kids. This is their night. I wouldn't be a bit surprised if they all went down to Chue's house to play basketball. EspeciaUy if Seth and Agnes have gone to bed."

"Will I be out of line if I ask where you're spending the night?"

"The studio. I gave up my room to Seth and Moss. Ash is sleeping on the third floor as you are. I meant to tell you that earlier."

"That's fine. I can sleep anywhere, anytime."

"Really. Sometimes I'm like that too. I'm a light sleeper, though. That's because when the kids were Httle, I slept with one ear and eye open. Sometimes I have been known to take a nap."

"No! I do too. I have an old leather couch in my office. The leather is all broken in and is softer than butter. I can he down and snooze for thirty minutes. Do you like peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with mashed banana?"

"Oh, yes. Have you had one with melted marshmallow on top of the banana? Sunny calls them Fiendish Delights. She only makes them for the boys when she wants them to do something for her."

"What a wondeHul family you have, Fanny. I'm glad you shared all of them with me even if it was for just a short while. I don't want you to worry about the twins. West Chester isn't that far from New York. I'll go up every so often. Once they get into the swing of things and make friends they won't want me visiting. I'll take them into the city and show them around. I have a cabin on a lake in the Poconos. I can take them there too." They approached the house; the door stood open.

"Everyone's gone!" Fanny sjiid.

"We're still here," Agnes called. "We've been visiting and getting to know one another. I want to thank all of you for a wonderful day. I think it's time for me to head upstairs. Unless you need some help cleaning up."

"Mazie and the others will clean in the morning. Go to bed. That was a great baseball game you played today, Agnes," Fanny said.

"That's what Billie said. Then she hugged me. She hasn't hugged me since she was a litde girl. It was nice. Good night, everyone."

"I'll walk you home, Mrs. Thornton," Simon said.

"People are going to start to talk, Mr. Thornton."

Simon heard the smile in her voice. "Let 'em," he said.

At the door to the studio, Fanny said good night, her voice husky with emotion. Simon's voice was just as husky when he said good night.

"I'll wait until you're inside. Sleep well, Fanny."

"You too, Simon."

The sun was barely up when the twins crept down the steps. "One last look, one last walk around the property. It won't be the same when we come home again. We'll be college men," Sage said.

"Where'da think you two are going?" Sunny demanded from the kitchen doorway.

"Yeah, where are you sneaking to?" BiUie asked.

"Here," Sunny said, holding out a sandwich. "I made them just for you. You won't get any for a long time. We just came down thinking you'd want us to . . . you know. . . walk around with you. If you don't, we can stay here in the kitchen. We wanted to say good-bye here so we won't embarrass you later. Do you want us to write, you never said."

"Heck, yes. Write and tell us everything. You can call us too. Look, we're going to miss you as much as you're going to miss us. Come on, you can walk with us. I don't want you trying to talk Mom into letting you go to West Point, Sunny. Ted Alexander is .. ."

"A real drip," Sunny said. "I was flattered, though."

"Okay. You looked pretty good last night. All those guys are going to be sniffing around you. You be careful. Don't go teasing them, either. Guys don't like that."

"Yeah, yeah," Sunny said.

The walk was leisurely, consisting of scuffing feet and lots of, do you remembers. "If you use up all of your allowance I can float you a loan," Sunny offered. "They say dorm food is awful and the kids eat out. That's where your money goes. You have to budget."

"Thank you for sharing that. Well, this is it. Want to sit on the front steps for a few minutes?" Sage asked.

They lined up, their faces solemn as they stared at their Uncle Simon's car.

"What have we here?" their father asked jovially.

"Nothing. We're just waiting for Uncle Simon. He said he wanted to get an early start," Sage said.

"He's having coffee in the kitchen. Is the car packed up?"

366 Fern Michaels "Uncle Simon did it earlier. Mom shipped our trunks out last week," Birch volunteered.

"Well, everyone is up to make sure you get a good send-off. Any misgivings about going off on your own?"

The twins shook their heads.

"You'll write and call?"

"Sure," the twins said in unison.

"You're young men now. I expect both of you to conduct yourselves properly."

Birch looked pained. Sage squeezed his eyes shut. Sunny bit down on her lower lip. Billie put one hand on Birch's shoulder and one on Sage's. She squeezed hard.

"I'll get your Uncle Simon," Ash said, retreating into the house. For some strange reason he felt like crying. Rebuffed by his own children. And it was all his own fault. Suddenly he didn't want to walk into the kitchen, didn't want to see his brother or his wife, his mother and father. If he did walk in, conversation would stop. They would all look at him with blank faces as much as to say, what are you doing here? They wouldn't say, you don't belong, but that's what it would mean. He needed to get out of here. Now.

Ash walked back to the front door, opened it, and walked down the steps. "Take care of yourselves. Remember to call your mother. If you need anything, let me know." A moment later he was gone, his car roaring down the mountain. The Thornton children exhaled as one.

"Time to hit the road," Simon bellowed from the other side of the door. "Ah, they can't wait to leave this lush paradise; they're all ready. I don't want to hear any weeping and wailing."

Fanny swallowed hard as she hugged her sons, her eyes bright with unshed tears. "Be good." It was something she always said when her children walked out the door. The response was always the same: Okay, Mom.

"Okay, Mom."

"I'm allowed to be misty-eyed, I'm your grandmother," Sallie said. The twins hugged her, their own eyes misty.

Philip hugged his grandsons, a wicked smile on his face. "You're gonna love it, boys," he said heartily. "Make sure you write often."

Devin extended his hand as did the Coleman men. Billie and Agnes kissed them lighdy on the cheek.

"Where's your dad?" Fanny asked.

"He said good-bye and left," Sunny said.

Billie started to cry as she hugged her brothers, a pitched keening wail that raised the hackles on the back of Fanny's neck. "It won't be the same anymore."

"Shhhh, honey, they'll be home before you know it."

'*Why are you standing there like two big boobs? Get in the damn car and go," Sunny said.

"Jesus," Simon said. "Get in the car! Everyone's going to call and everyone's going to write. Everybody say good-bye."

A chorus of good-byes rang across the mountain as Simon shpped the car in gear. Fanny cried into a tissue as Sallie put her arms around her.

"I might as well say my good-bye now, too," Moss Coleman said. "Chue was kind enough to lend me his truck. I'll leave it at the airport. It was a great party, Fanny, thanks for inviting me. Pap, I'll see you back in Texas in about a week. Riley, look after your mother and grandmother." He waved airily in Agnes's and Billie's direction.

"Sun's up. Seems to me it's time to eat," Seth growled. "I'd like some steak, potatoes, and eggs. Easy over. Take care of it, Aggie."

"Would you like me to bring it to you here on the porch?" Agnes snapped.

"Kitchen table will do just fine," Seth said as he stomped his way into the house, his cane making a loud thumping noise as he went along.

Three days later, Seth set his bag down in the foyer and bellowed for Agnes. "It's time to go, Aggie."

Agnes bellowed in return, "We have a full hour before we have to leave. Cantankerous curmudgeon," she muttered under her breath. "Now, Billie, you stay as long as you like. This will be good for Sawyer. You need to stop coddling her so much. A few bumps and scrapes is what she needs. And a firm tone. I'll call when we get home."

"Agnes, I'd like to give you a little going-away present," Sallie said "Goodness, SaUie, that isn't necessary. I can't teU you how much I enjoyed this visit. Seth did too, but he won't admit it. I'm looking forward to the time you aU come to Texas so we can show you some of what Seth calls down-home Texas hospitality."

"Seth invited us all for Christmas," Sallie whispered, "Did he now? That should be a feather in your cap, Sallie. Seth never invites anyone to the ranch except his cronies, who stink up 368 Fern Michaels the place with their smelly cigars. You simply wouldn't believe the condition of the walls at Sunbridge. It took me years, but we finally got them clean. What was the little present?" Her face started to twitch when Seth bellowed again.

Sallie withdrew a small velvet box fi-om the pocket of her slacks. "It pleases me to give this to you, Aggie, because I know you'll wear it. My taste sometimes stiU runs to the gaudy and this litde trinket is more .. . genteel."

Trinket. Agnes wondered if it meant the dime store kind or if trinket was just a word a wealthy woman like SaUie would use. She opened the box and gasped. "My goodness, Sallie, I can't accept this. Why this must have cost a fortune. If I wore it, I'd be scared to death I'd lose it." Fijty thousand if it cost a dime. Agnes felt dizzy and disoriented at the thought.

"There's a safety catch on the back. You can't lose it. The appraisal and insurance receipt are folded in the bottom of the box. You'll need to insure it in May of next year."

"I don't know what to say," Agnes said, at a loss for words for the first time in her life.

"Thank you is more than enough," Sallie said. "Would you like me to pin it on your jacket lapel? Diamonds show up nicely on black and navy blue."

There had to be at least a hundred svmW. diamonds in the star lapel pin. Agnes grew light-headed as Sallie pinned the "trinket" on her jacket. "Oh, my," was all she could utter. Seth's eyes were going to pop right out of his head.

"Oh, Mother, it's gorgeous," Billie said. Fanny concurred.

"Thank you, Sallie."

"My pleasure. Have a safe trip. Be still, Seth, she's coming," Sallie called down to the foot of the stairs. "Good lord, is he always like this?"

"Worse," Billie said. "Mother, when Moss gets home, tell him I don't know when I'll be back."

"I'll tell him, Billie. Stay as long as you like. You deserve this respite."

"Take care of your grandmother," Billie said, hugging Riley.

"Okay, Mom."

Everyone waved wildly as one of Chue's cousins drove Seth, Riley, and Agnes down the mountain.

"I'll be going too, Fanny," Sallie said. "It's time for me to get back to town. Thank you so much for letting me stay as long as I did. Any- time you feel the need for bright lights come down and we'll have dinner at Peridot. A night out with just us girls."

"That sounds wonderful," Billie said. Fanny nodded.

"Now that we're alone," Fanny said later, "let's see if we can't get into some trouble. Delicious trouble with a happy ending. We have until six o'clock, when Chue gets back with Sawyer."

"What do you have in mind?"

"Well, for starters, I thought you could call Admiral Kingsley and I could call Simon. Just to talk, of course. I'm not very good at this and I know you aren't either, so we need to come up with an excuse we're both comfortable with."

"Moss wanted to have sex with me the night before he left. He was going off to New York the next day to meet Alice. I felt like a whore, Fanny."

"Did you do it?"

"I wasn't exacdy an active participant, if that's what you mean. I've never refused him. I should have told him I knew where he was going, but 1 couldn't because then he would have known you overheard him on the phone."

"You could call him on some pretext or other. Or, if you want to catch him you could head for New York right now. I can take care of Sawyer. There's a plane for New York right after lunch. Around one o'clock. You'll be there by six. The desk clerk will give you a key to the room. After all, you are Mrs. Moss Coleman. How could they refuse?"

"Fanny, if I do that, if I actually catch . . . him ... see him with Alice, then I have to do something about it. Hearing about his infidelity is one thing, seeing it is something else. A part of me will always love Moss. It's a small part, and it gets smaller by the day. One day it won't be there anymore and then . . . then I'll do what I have to do. I know that makes me a fool in your eyes. As a woman I guess I'm a fizzle."

"If that's true, then this fizzle recognizes your fizzle. I guess we aren't glamorous enough. We're mothers. Maybe that has something to do with it. Ash told me once I was used. I was too ashamed to ask what he meant. He can be very cruel sometimes, and when he's like that, he convinces me I'm not good enough, and I hide out to lick my wounds."

"I can relate to that. It's the power and the money behind them. Moss feels he deserves whatever he wants. He offers no apologies because he's entided to whatever it is. Seth agrees with him. In your wildest dreams would you ever think a man would bury his horse next to his wife? Moss thought that was just fine. I want to take Sawyer and run as fast as I can. Riley too, but I know he would opt to stay with his father. It would tear him apart if he had to leave Sunbridge."

"You need to sign on for Simon's runaway cruise on his boat called Someday." Fanny laughed. "I did. Fll go if Simon ever gets it under way. I swear, Billie, I could walk out of here and not look bacL Ever. It's the kids that bother me. Lately, more and more, I've been thinking about my mother and why she left me and my brothers. My father was a good man ... is a good man, but I don't know how it was between them. I saw him through a child's eyes, not a woman's eyes. To this day, he's never divorced her. I can't figure it out."