"I already figured that out," Sunny snorted. "I wish Mom was here."

"She doesn't appear to be moving at all. How can anyone sit that still?"

"Maybe she's in shock. Maybe it's something terrible and the cemetery is giving her comfort. Her parents are buried there. That's part of what I always try to tell you guys. You only have one mother, one father and . . . and you always in the time of need go back to that one person who loved and comforted you. I think that's what Grandma is doing. I don't think it has anything to do with Mom. What do you think we should do?"

"Nothing. I think Grandma wants to be alone. Why else would she come here in the middle of the night?"

"She's crying, see her shoulders are shaking."

"This is your show, kiddo," Sage said. "What do you want us to do?"

"Nothing. I think we need to sit here and watch so that she doesn't. . . she would ... we need to watch. I can go downstairs and make some coffee. I can do it in the dark."

"Toast too."

"If she moves or... or anything, run down to the kitchen, okay?"

Sage nodded.

The two kept their vigil. They were still sitting on the floor by Sunny's window, their eyes glued to their grandmother, when they heard the sound of their mother's car just as dawn began to break.

334 Fern Michaels "WTiatever it is, it's going to be all right now," Sunny said in a relieved tone. "Don't go back to bed yet. Let's see what happens."

They watched as their mother sat down, Indian fashion, opposite their grandmother.

Fanny's heartbeat quickened as she sat next to her mother-in-law under the massive cottonwood tree. "Fm a good listener, Sallie. I stopped by your house twice last night but there was no answer when I rang the doorbell."

"I didn't feel like . . . Fm sorry, Fanny. I was wondering, would you mind if I stayed with you for a little while? I won't be in the way, Fll sleep in my old schoolroom."

"Of course you can stay, as long as you like. The children will love it that you're here. We're family, Sallie, this is where you belong. How long have you been out here?"

"I wasn't paying attention to the time. At eight o'clock, Devin is going to shut down the Silver Dollar and all of the bingo palaces. I screwed up, Fanny. Isn't that how the young people today say it?"

Fanny nodded. "It's not a bad thing."

"It means I failed. Because I was stupid and vain. I think it broke Philip's heart to tell me."

"What can I do?"

"Be my friend."

"Always," Fanny said.

"What were you doing in town last night?"

"Ash and I had a row. Actually, that isn't true. The children . . . there was this bike race and Sunny beat him. He threw his bike in the bushes and took off like a dragon was on his heels. All of a sudden I couldn't take it one minute longer. I looked for him all over town. I called the ranch, but Philip said he was here at Sunrise. I went by your house, and then I sat on the front porch all night long waiting for him to come home. I spent hours making excuses for him, lying to myself, searching for things that would make things right again. I don't think they were ever right and that's why I . . . It's a big mess. It doesn't matter anymore. I feel confident that I can go it alone as long as I have my children. We can talk about me anytime; you have a crisis in your life, and we need to work on that. I see you brought the pillow with you."

"It gives me great comfort, Fanny, because it was from your heart. There are very few things in this life that I truly treasure. Money can't buy happiness, Fanny."

Fanny thought she'd never heard a sadder voice in her life. "I know that." She had told Sallie, finally, about Jake and the 8200,000. The two women had laughed together; each of them had had a windfall of money. Then they had stopped laughing, remembering that neither windfall had brought happiness.

"Are you getting a good return on your money?" Sallie asked, as she had often asked before.

"It's not my money, Sallie. But, yes, it is getting a good return."

"We should get Simon to invest the money for you. Fm sorry you never got to meet him. I wish he would come home more often. I can count the times on one hand that he's been here in the last eighteen years. Three times. All three times you were in Pennsylvania visiting your family. At least he got to meet the twins, and then the girls. I might call him to come home. All of this ... is too important to discuss on the telephone. Do you still love Ash?"

Fanny picked at a blade of grass. She placed it between her two index fingers and brought them to her mouth. An ear-piercing whis-de was the result. "Try it, Sallie."

"So that's where Sunny learned to do it. Is this one of those things that takes practice?"

"Depends on how loud you want to whisde. You should hear my brother Daniel. Your ears ring for hours when he does it."

"I never wanted Cotton's money, Fanny. It scared me out of my wits. I tried to do what he would have wanted me to do. I married a good man so he would give me children. The only problem was I didn't love him. Cotton didn't say anything about lodng him. It enabled me to do things for other people. I wanted to be as good and kind to others as Cotton was to me. The single most wonderful thing was helping my sister and finding Seth. I still haven't found Josh, and I don't know why that is. I guess I shelved it and . . . I'm making an excuse for my laxness."

"I understand, Sallie. I never really initiated a search for my mother. I wrote a bunch of letters, that's the sum total of what I did. I didn't follow through. Life got in the way, that's the best way I can explain it."

An ear-piercing sound ricocheted around the cottonwoods.

"Sallie, that was wonderful! Let's do it again. You a betting woman, SaUie?"

"Two bits," Sallie said.

336 Fern Michaels 'You're on. On the count of three! "It's a draw. Again," Fanny said.

"One more time," she said after the second try that resulted in another tie.

"Three out of three," Sailie said.

"And the winner is . . . Sailie." Fanny whooped.

Upstairs behind the curtains. Birch grabbed Sunny by the neck. **You got me out of bed to watch our mother and our grandmother whistleT'

"You are so stupid. I can't believe some coUege is letting you in their doors. Mom just made it right for Grandma. The whistle is like when she used to give us a Popsicle. Remember how good it felt when she smiled and handed it to us? No matter how bad it was, that always made it right. Whatever happened down there was serious."

"Okay, I'm gonna give you that one because in your own cocka-mamie way you make sense. Is it okay if we go back to bed?"

In the garden, Fanny sat back on her haunches. "If I knew somebody worthy of my affections, I'd contemplate an affair."

"It's not the answer. You have to deal with the problem first. I know what I'm talking about, Fanny."

"Sometimes I ache, Sailie. I'm not a cold, hard person. I have feelings and needs, and I don't know what to do."

"When it's right you'll know. You have to make decisiorts where Ash is concerned. That's where vou have to start."

"What about you, Sailie?"

"I don't know. I have a lot of thinking to do."

"I learned something a while ago. When something disastrous happens, something good usually happens right afterward. If you aren't too caught up in your misery, and you keep your heart and your eyes open, you can usually see it. I'm probably not explaining this right. It doesn't have to be a big major happening, it could be something as simple as seeing a rosebud open or a child's drawing made just for you. In this case it's Billie. Come along, Mrs. Thornton Senior, I have lots to tell you about your youngest granddaughter. We need your advice. First, though, we're going to have a big, whopping breakfast."

Sailie smiled. "Lead on, Mrs. Thornton Junior."

16.

"I think this is what I've missed the m.ost during my life," SaUie said, indicating her boisterous grandchildren. "I'm glad they get along so well. You're going to miss the boys when they leave. I know I'll miss them."

"Just two more days and they're off to college. Give me a kick if you see me start to blubber, Sallie."

"Who's going to give me a kick?" Sallie asked.

"Me," Fanny said sprightly. "You're excused, don't slam the door!"

The two Mrs. Thorntons watched indulgendy as the four youngsters hurtled through the kitchen door, shouldering each other out of the way in their hurry to ride down the mountain to Chue's, where a baseball game was scheduled for one o'clock.

"I should leave, Fanny. I've been here six weeks. It's time for me to . . . it's time."

"Have you made any decisions?"

"No."

"Have you called Devin?"

"No."

"He must be a very patient man, Sallie."

"Among other things. Have you heard from Ash?"

"No. I was going to call him today to remind him the boys are leaving, then I said to myself, why should I do that? He's their father, he should know. I'm so glad Simon is coming. I long to meet him, after all these years. The boys are really looking forward to driving crosscountry with him. Do you think they badgered him into doing it."

Sallie chuckled. "I wouldn't be surprised. I guess they were astute enough to know their father wouldn't make the trip and grown boys don't want their mother showing up with them to hold their hand and then wailing her head off when it's time to leave. It was my understanding that this was all arranged early in the summer. It doesn't surprise me that you and I are the last to know. Simon always waits till the eleventh hour to make announcements. Is everything ready for the party?"

338 Fern Michaels "The Colemans arrive tomorrow, sometime before lunch. At first Seth said he couldn't make it, but I think Agnes talked him into it. They're all coming in the Coleman plane. One minute I feel elated and the next minute I feel like I'm losing ..."

"Your children. Life goes on, Fanny. Sometimes I think it would be nice to be able to stop time. It seems to be modng so fast these days. I remember the day the twins were bom so clearly. Now look at them! They're going to be campus idols, or whatever good-looking young men are called these days. W'Tiat will we do if Ash is a no-show at the party?"

"Try to gloss over it I guess. What else can I do?"

"If he knows I'm here, he might not come. I'm sure PhiHp has told him I've been stadng here. Maybe I should . . ."

"Don't even think about leadng, SaUie. I wish you had allowed me to invite Dedn. He's part of the family and he adores the boys. It's not fair, Sallie."

"I fibbed to you earlier, I did call Devin this morning. Simon will bring him up this evening."

"That's one positive thing you've done since you've been here."

SaUie smiled, but the smile didn't reach her eyes.

"In two weeks the girls will be leaving for school. I hope I didn't make a mistake, Sallie."

"They'll be home the first weekend of every month. It's the best school in the state. Mentally, both of them are ready for it. Sunny needs a big dose of discipline as well as a few lessons in ... in ladylike behavior. Billie needs children her age. Don't get selfish on me now. Think of it in terms of independence. You'll also have more time for your business. You said you wanted to go to New York and to Hong Kong. It's time for Fanny to think about Fanny. You need a life beyond Sunrise."

"I have the business . . ." Fanny said lamely.

"Yes, you sit here designing and make sample garments. Bess runs the offices and Billie takes care of the Texas end of things. You need to involve yourself more. It's your business, Fanny. You gave birth to it, you nurtured it, and you watched it bud and blossom. I don't want to see you make the same mistakes I did. You did this with nothing but guts. W^at I have was given to me. There's a big difference. You can't do it halfway, the way I did. Either you take hold all the way or you sell now while you can make a big profit. My advice would be to talk it over with Simon. I don't know if you know this or not, but Nevada is a community property state. VVTiat that means is Ash is entitled to half of everything you have. You might want to give some thought to that."

"I'll talk to Simon." For the first time, Fanny thought. She could hardly beheve she was going to meet this paragon at last. What would he be like?

"How many people are coming?" Sallie asked.

"Around a hundred, I have things planned for the older people, the middle-aged people, and the youngsters. Birch is going to organize a baseball game. Sunny is the shortstop, whatever that is. Sage says she can catch a pop fly better than any of the guys at school when she's in the outfield."

"I'm almost afraid to ask this, but do you know if Moss is coming?"

"As of last night, Billie didn't know. She said she refuses to beg him. She and Moss aren't. . ." Fanny stopped herself This was not the time to discuss Billie's problems. "She did say Thad Kingsley, Moss's best friend, was coming, but in his own plane."

"I'm looking forward to seeing Simon. I miss him terribly. He's so independent, so unlike Ash. I ask myself often why he's never married, and the only answer I can come up with is he didn't like Philip and my marriage, and he's afraid the same thing might happen to him. He would make such a wonderful husband and father."

Fanny made a production out of getting up from the table to allow Sallie time to wipe at her wet eyes. She wanted to cry herself at the change in her mother-in-law in six short weeks. All the life, the spontaneity, and the sparkle seemed to have gone out of her. Would Devin or Simon be able to bring it back? Perhaps seeing Seth might help.

She doubted her own thoughts as she led the way up the winding stairs.

"Fanny, what time is it?"

"Ten minutes past ten."

"Simon should have been here by now. I worry about him; he drives the way he flies a plane."

"What? And he's going to be driving my sons cross-country! I thought you said he was the stable one of your two sons."

"He is. I will caution him as you will, too, to drive sedately. Simon is responsible.

"I hear a car." The panic on Sallie's face was almost comical. Amused, Fanny watched as Sallie ran into the house to freshen her 340 Fern Michaels makeup. Maybe she should do die same. Too much trouble, she muttered to herself as she got up from the front steps where she and Sallie had been sitting for the past hour.

"Fanny, I don't believe you've met Simon," Devin said, climbing from the car.

Fanny wished she had followed Sallie into the house to freshen up. She knew stray tendrils of hair had escaped the rubber band that pulled her hair back. She'd eaten off her lipstick hours ago, and there was no powder on her face, so she knew her nose was shiny. Her blue jeans, oversize shirt, and sneakers were hardly fashionable. She wished that she had listened to Sallie when she suggested she change into a sundress to show off her golden tan.

"It's so nice to finally meet you," Fanny said, extending her hand.

"No, no, we aren't going to shake hands. I'm your brother-in-law. That means we're family." Before Fanny knew what was happening she was in Simon's arms and he was hugging her tighdy as he kissed first one cheek and then the other. She was aware of the heady scent of his woodsy after-shave, the faint odor of pipe tobacco, 2ind the clean smell of him. In that one brief glance she knew ex-acdy what he was wearing even though the porch Hght was dimly yellow. She took a moment to marvel at the thought before she stepped aside, her cheeks flushed, her heart racing. This was a man. Her heart continued to race.