"I take everything seriously," the Doctor replied. "Except myself."

"Come off it, Professor. It's just a song. Nothing more."

"Never jump to hasty puddings;" he told her. "They're usually the wrong ones, and sticky to boot. Remember what I told you about not judging cultures by their own standards."

This was too much for Ace. "That's exactly the opposite of what you told me last time."

"Of course it is," the Doctor agreed, blithely. "Haven't you ever read Hegel?"

"I don't know. Did he write Watership Down Watership Down?"

"No he didn't." The Time Lord frowned. "Take this seriously, for a change.

You can't hide yourself away from the world behind a barrage of explosions forever, you know. Hegel suggested that you take an idea - a thesis - and its opposite - the ant.i.thesis and put them together to get an end result, the synthesis. So, apply yourself. Avram's song is quite correct, and tells a true story. But it's culturally biased, based on his own experiences. Use your imagination, and what you know of the Universe through my tuition, and take a guess what it's really talking about."

Ace hadn't listened to most of the lecture; she's already been thinking.

"Professor! That ark - was it really a s.p.a.ceship?" He beamed. "I knew you'd get there, sooner or later, with my help."

"The six months darkness - the trip! No sun, of course. And the scorpion men - people in s.p.a.ce suits? With lasers?"

"I do believe you've got it," the Doctor approved. "And the story had other interesting aspects, didn't it? Utnapishtim and Ishtar were foes. According to En-Gula, Ishtar is now living in Kish. According to Avram, Utnapishtim and his band of merry men landed in these mountains of Mashu. That talisman Avram has is some sort of electronic key, lending credence to his story. Fascinating, isn't it?" Then his face fell. "The only thing is, what do we do about it all, eh?"

Ace had no idea, but that was generally the Doctor's department, anyway.

He was the planner. She preferred to act. "Why don't we sleep on it?" she suggested.

"Why not?" The Doctor turned his attention back to Avram's latest song.

Somehow, he wasn't at all surprised to discover that Gilgamesh's choice of entertainment was about the s.e.xual exploits of the G.o.ds. The king was probably hoping to emulate them later, he mused.

In Kish, things were less festive. Ishtar, too anxious to wait, had summoned King Agga. She slithered about the main altar, lashing her tail back and forth. The human was infuriatingly slow! Granted, it was night, and he was probably resting, but that was a pathetically poor excuse for keeping her waiting.

Finally the King arrived, looking haggard. "What is it?" he growled, not in a good mood.

"I think, in light of recent events, Agga," Ishtar ordered, "that we will step up the rate of work. I want more men a.s.signed to laying the copper pathways to the walls. And I need a second team of slaves. They are to begin work on my power supplies. I am impatient to reach the culmination of my plans."

"What are these power supplies that you speak of?" he asked, curiously.

"The words are meaningless to me."

"Of course they are!" she sneered. "To you and this pathetic little town of yours, power is measured in terms of slaves and the work they can do. I speak of real power, Agga, king of dust and sand! Power to move mountains, to level the hills! Power to fly, or build up. Power, should I so choose, to destroy. Ah; she said, disgusted at his lack of understanding, "I don't know why I bother talking to you insects. You are too feeble to comprehend: Then she smiled, coldly and evilly. "But one thing you will understand. I know that you have been curious about what lies within my inner sanctum. Come, and see - and fear!"

She didn't bother to check whether he was following her. She knew that he would not dare to decline her offer. Moving through the inner rooms, she reached her own private chambers. Quickly, un.o.bserved, she disconnected the defences she always placed, and led the way within.

All of the equipment from her damaged shuttle was here. The electronic devices that sustained her, the controls that linked her mind to those of her slaves. They were all beyond the limited mental prowess of King Agga, of course. He stared in wonder at the blinking lights and the snakelike traces across the VDUs. The computing potential of the equipment was meaningless to him. However Ishtar knew that there was one device that even he, stupid and dull as he was, might understand.

It was a smallish box, about a foot in each direction. She stroked it tenderly, and smiled down at him. "One of the reasons I came here, Agga," she purred, "is that I could detect a source of radioactivity in the area. So far your men have mined a small amount for me, and it powers all that you see. In the past few days, I have garnered enough spare material to fill this box."

Agga shrugged. "It means nothing to me," he confessed. "What difference does it make what is in that box of yours, Ishtar?"

She laughed long and hard, enjoying his foolishness. She stopped. "O king," she smiled, "you saw the damage done to my temple by the intruders, did you not? Well, it was accomplished using. some simple explosives. They made quite a mess. This," she stroked the case again, "is what is known as a thermo-nuclear bomb. It is linked to me electronically.

Just a grain or two of the minerals in here could create the same effect as the bomb that harmed my temple. And in this box is several pounds of the destructive ore. If anything happens to me, Agga - anything at all - then this will explode."

Trying to understand this, Agga ventured: "You mean that if you should somehow be destroyed, then your box will demolish my city?" Your city?"

Ishtar laughed again. "Agga, this box will destroy everything that you've ever seen, or even heard of! It will despatch this portion of your miserable little planet into complete oblivion!" Agga stared at the box with increased respect. And he could see in her eyes that Ishtar would be more than happy for such a catastrophe to happen.

13: SPLIT INFINITIES.

Despite all the carousing Gilgamesh was up bright and early the next day, having called a council meeting. The Doctor brought Ace, Avram and EnGula to it, despite the frowns aimed in his direction by Ennatum and the other n.o.bles. They were not keen on either women or commoners attending the sacred sessions. The Doctor didn't particularly care what they liked.

Gilgamesh was the only one allowed to be seated. Even the powerful lords had to stand while tactics and plans were discussed. As soon as everyone he had sent for had arrived, Gilgamesh rapped on the stone floor with his sceptre, and silence fell.

"As you all know," the king explained, "Enkidu and I visited the city of Kish on a spying mission. We discovered some very disturbing things. First of all," he stared around the room, at each of the dozen or so n.o.bles present, "the people of Kish knew that we were coming. My initial thought was that someone had made my plans known to them." He looked directly at Ennatum, who withstood the stare without a flicker of doubt appearing on his face. "Where is Gudea?" Gilgamesh asked, deceptively mildly. "He seems to be missing."

Ennatum spread his hands. "I have sent messengers to try to locate him, O king. So far, though, I have heard nothing from them or him."

Gilgamesh nodded, and then continued with his lecture. "But there is another possibility. It seems that the G.o.ddess Ishtar has blessed Kish with a personal appearance." The n.o.blemen murmured sceptically until the king stared them down and appealed to the Doctor, who nodded unsmilingly.

Gilgamesh continued. "She now resides in her temple in Kish, and she controls the warriors of that city. Enkidu and I had to fight our way out by night, and she knew where and when to send troops to attack us both.

Clearly, then, she was responsible for discovering our approach earlier, and not some traitor on this council. For which, you may all be thankful." He stared directly at Ennatum. "Nevertheless, I would like a few words with Gudea when you locate him."

"As you wish, lord," Ennatum replied, smoothly. Nothing in either his eyes or his bearing indicated the panic churning his insides.

"Now, the king said, gesturing again towards the Doctor, "we ourselves are blessed with divine visitors. It would appear that this season a number of the G.o.ds walk among us. This is Ea, G.o.d of wisdom, and he has brought Aya, G.o.ddess of the dawn." Ace wondered if she was expected to curtsy at this. Instead, she elected to smile sweetly. "They wish to help us in our struggles against Kish."

The Doctor stepped forward, and leaned on his umbrella to face the council. "As your king has said, n.o.bles of Uruk," he began, "the city of Kish is host to someone calling herself Ishtar. However she is no G.o.ddess, but a demon from the pits of h.e.l.l. She can cloak herself in the likeness of a G.o.ddess to deceive men. Lying, she tries to claim the glories due to the G.o.ds alone. She infects the minds of those she touches, and she is preparing to lead Kish in a war against Uruk."

"If she is a demon, O Ea," Ennatum asked, "then why does the real Ishtar not blast her to pieces with divine wrath?" There was a murmur of agreement from the other n.o.bles at this display of logic.

"Because, O man," the Doctor answered, "there is a deep balance to the eternal battle between good and evil. True, the G.o.ds could simply destroy this false Ishtar - but what would mortals learn from that? No, this must be a battle fought by men."

Another of the advisers, an older man named Lagash, stepped forward.

"While you sit and watch?" he asked, cynically.

"No. Aya and I will aid you in the ways that are permitted to us. We can offer you guidance, and also a little physical help. But this must be your fight, and not ours alone." He smiled disarmingly at them. "And there is one other who will aid you - Utnapishtim."

Even Avram looked amazed at this piece of news. The Doctor paused for a moment to revel in the surprise he had caused, and then explained: "He and the demoness are foes from ages past. When he knows she is in Kish, he will help to destroy her."

"Are you sure about that?" Ace whispered to him, while the n.o.bles considered the news.

"It can't be a coincidence that there are two different starships from two unrelated races here in one small part of the Earth at the same time," he answered. "Ishtar's ship is an escape capsule, and shows signs of scorching from radiation weapons. I'd hazard a guess that Utnapishtim's forces destroyed her main craft, and thought she perished in the fight."

"Could be," Ace agreed, sounding less than completely convinced.

"Trust me," the Doctor grinned.

"Do I ever have any choice?" she sighed.

The Doctor rapped on the floor with his brolly, silencing the chatter. "Now, what I would suggest is this: we send a party to speak to Utnapishtim and to seek his aid. Meanwhile, the rest of us will stay here plan how to get back into Kish to probe Ishtar's temples and defences. Since Utnapishtim is such a great man, only the greatest man in Uruk would be fitted for the task of meeting him." He looked at Gilgamesh.

The king laughed aloud with pleasure. "Ea, your words have a strong ring of truth to them. I would like to meet this man who survived the great flood that destroyed the lands. Enkidu and I will prepare to leave immediately."

"I would suggest not," the Doctor said, carefully choosing his words. "If anything should happen while you are gone, such as Ishtar making a move, then Enkidu would be an invaluable helper for me here. He alone could act with your authority."

Gilgamesh frowned. "Ea, you are not suggesting that I travel alone to meet with this Utnapishtim? It would not be fitting, either to myself or to him."

"Of course not, O king," the Doctor replied. "You must take with you Avram, who knows the way to the mountains of Mashu. He will be your guide. And also the lady Aya, who will advise and aid you."

"What?" Ace screeched in disbelief. "Doctor! Don't do this to me!"

"Do as I ask," he pleaded quietly. "I need you to keep an eye on Gilgamesh."

"You can't keep pulling that excuse on me," she said. "He'll be safe without me around - I'm more liable to kill him than anyone."

The Doctor smiled rea.s.suringly. "Excuse us, just a moment," he begged, and then dragged Ace outside. "Ace, just this once, please - do as I ask."

Furious, Ace refused to listen. "This so-called monarch really gets up my nose," she stormed. "And there's no way I'm putting up with going on a cross-country trek with him. Absolutely not. If you want him to go and see this Utnawhoozit bloke, you take him."

The Doctor sighed. "Ace, don't be difficult. It has to be this way. I've got to stay here in Uruk in case Ishtar makes any changes to her plans. But I need someone to go with Gilgamesh who's used to dealing with aliens, who won't be overawed, and who won't overreact. It must be you. You're the only person I can trust." He smiled at her in what he hoped was a winning way.

Unwilling to be swayed by his logic, Ace retorted: "Why are we doing this the hard way? Can't we just let them all sort it out? Zip over to find Utnawhoozit in the TARDIS, bring him back and let him do the job?" The Doctor shook his head. "It's not that simple. I've no idea where Utnapishtim's base is. I could never get the TARDIS there. And remember, we've supposed to be here for an appointment with a Timewyrm, whatever it is. I don't want to chance using the TARDIS. After all, if this creature is somehow connected to time, then it will zero in on something. I don't want to move the TARDIS."

"But the TARDIS is outside Kish," Ace pointed out. "How will you know what's going on?" He pulled a small device from his inside pocket. It looked like a pocket calculator. "I removed the time path indicator from the TARDIS," he explained, "while you lot were asleep. It will register any activity in the Vortex heading for the Earth and the TARDIS."

"I've not seen that before."

The Doctor shrugged. "I don't have a lot of use for it. It's not often that there's another time machine on my trail. Haven't used this since. . . " He broke off, remembering the last time he had called on the device. It had been the time the Daleks were chasing him, seeking to regain the Tarranium Core he had stolen from them. A long time ago, before his first regeneration. That had been the time that Sara Kingdom and Katarina had died. He firmly shut his memory on those events. "Anyway, if a Timewyrm is heading for the Earth, I'll detect it. Which is another reason I have to stay here and you'd be better off with Gilgamesh."

"I don't like your reasoning," scowled Ace. "But I don't think arguing will get me anywhere. But if I've got to go with randy rex in there, you tell him to keep his hands well away from me - or he'll be sorry."

"I'll make it very clear," he promised her in a voice that did nothing to rea.s.sure her.

"You'd better."

The Doctor put an arm about her shoulder. "I know how you feel about the king," he said, sympathetically. "He's not someone I'd choose to go on a hiking holiday with, either. But at the moment, he's our best chance to defeat Ishtar. Believe me, if I could think of any other way to do it, I wouldn't put you through this."

"Yeah," Ace agreed, knowing he meant it. "But that doesn't make it any easier to take, Professor."

Gilgamesh stared thoughtfully at Ennatum. He had never liked or trusted the man, but so far the adviser had been far too cunning to be caught out, either in deceit or in a lie. It was only a matter of time, Gilgamesh knew.

Ennatum twisted and squirmed so much behind the cold mask of his face that one day he would betray himself. Gilgamesh could wait.

"You say you found Gudea?" Gilgamesh asked. "Then why is he not here?"

"Alas," Ennatum replied, looking anything but sad, "I am afraid that it is beyond his powers to come to you now, O king. It seems he had a troubled mind, and to settle it he drank some poisoned beer."

"Indeed?" Gilgamesh raised an eyebrow. "Curious. I wonder whether he knew that he was doing so?"

Ennatum feigned a look of surprise. "Do you mean that he may not have killed himself?"

"I hardly care," replied the king. "It saved me the bother of having to kill him myself. On the other hand, I shouldn't like to think that there might be further examples of people drinking the wrong thing."

Bowing, Ennatum murmured: "I am sure that he will be the only one, lord."

"I am sure that he had better be." The king dismissed his adviser from his presence, but not from his mind. As soon as Ennatum had left the room, Gilgamesh beckoned Enkidu to him.

"Enkidu, my friend, I shall be leaving in the morning on this quest for Utnapishtim. Whether we shall find him, I cannot say. My heart is heavy that you will not be with me on this venture."

The hairy man nodded. "Mine too, Gilgamesh. Ah, you'll have many an opportunity to add to your story! What an adventure this will be."

"Aye, perhaps." The king took the cylindrical seal from about his neck, and placed it over Enkidu's ugly head. "Here is my seal, Enkidu. It confers on you my full authority. Use it wisely, my friend. And be very wary about Ennatum. While I am certain that Gudea plotted to have me killed because of his wife, I suspect the same of Ennatum, but cannot prove it. The man is an insect, but one with a sting. Take care about him."

Nodding, Enkidu asked: "And what of the Doctor, and his young companion? Do you believe that they are truly Ea and Aya?"

Gilgamesh laughed. "Ah, you hairy monster, you too have your doubts as to their divinity? Well, I'm with you there. As to whether they are G.o.ds, who can say? But I feel that we can trust them. There is much mystery in them both, but little guile, I feel. They have their own reasons for what they do, but they work with us - at least for now."

"Travel well, my king and my friend." Enkidu reached out and clasped Gilgamesh's arm in a strong grip. "Return as quickly as you are able. I feel that we are living in dangerous times."

"True," Gilgamesh agreed. "But those are the best of times. With danger comes the chance to grasp glory - aye, and perhaps even immortality. And it staves off the boredom of life, eh?"

"There are worse things in life than boredom."

"Ha! Name one."

With a sober glance at his king, Enkidu replied: "Death."

Gilgamesh shrugged. "Death is not to be feared, my friend. When my time comes, I shall die willingly enough, with my battle-axe dripping the blood of many enemies. The people shall sing of me forever!"

"A week?" Ace howled, furiously. "A week with that... that. . . "

"King?" suggested the Doctor, quickly. He turned to Avram, and clapped the musician's shoulders. "Take care of yourself, songsmith. And keep an eye or two on Gilgamesh." He looked at Ace. "I've a feeling he may need all of the help he can get."

14: THE MOUNTAINS OF MASHU.