FOOTNOTES:

[516] John Heywood, the well-known epigrammatist and interlude-writer.

His Proverbs were edited in 1874, with a pleasantly-written Introduction and useful notes, by Mr. Julian Sharman.

[517] Dyce refers to a pa.s.sage of Sir John Harington's _Metamorphosis of Ajax_, 1596:--"This Haywood for his proverbs and epigrams is not yet put down by any of our country, though one [marginal note, M. Davies] doth indeed come near him, that graces him the more in saying he puts him down." He quotes also from b.a.s.t.a.r.d's _Chrestoleros_, 1598 (Lib. ii. Ep.

15); Lib. iii. Ep. 3, and Freeman's _Rubbe and a Great Cast_ ( Pt. ii., Ep. 100), allusions to the present epigram.

IN DAc.u.m.[518] x.x.x.

Amongst the poets Dacus number'd is, Yet could he never make an English rhyme: But some prose speeches I have heard of his, Which have been spoken many a hundred time; The man that keeps the elephant hath one, Wherein he tells the wonders of the beast; Another Banks p.r.o.nounced long agone, When he his curtal's[519] qualities express'd: He first taught him that keeps the monuments At Westminster, his formal tale to say, 10 And also him which puppets represents, And also him which with the ape doth play.

Though all his poetry be like to this, Amongst the poets Dacus number'd is.

FOOTNOTES:

[518] Samuel Daniel. See Ep. xlv.

[519] All the information about Banks' wonderful horse Moroccus ("the little horse that ambled on the top of Paul's") is collected in Mr.

Halliwell-Phillips' _Memoranda on Love's Labour Lost_.

IN PRISc.u.m. x.x.xI.

When Priscus, rais'd from low to high estate, Rode through the street in pompous jollity, Caius, his poor familiar friend of late, Bespake him thus, "Sir, now you know not me,"

"'Tis likely, friend," quoth Priscus, "to be so, For at this time myself I do not know."

IN BRUNUM. x.x.xII.

Brunus, which deems[520] himself a fair sweet youth, Is nine and thirty[521] year of age at least; Yet was he never, to confess the truth, But a dry starveling when he was at best.

This gull was sick to show his nightcap fine, And his wrought pillow overspread with lawn; But hath been well since his grief's cause hath line[522]

At Trollop's by Saint Clement's Church in p.a.w.n.

FOOTNOTES:

[520] So eds. B, C.--Isham copy and ed. A "thinks."

[521] Old eds. "thirtie nine." MS. "nine and thirt.i.th."

[522] Lain.

IN FRANc.u.m. x.x.xIII.

When Francus comes to solace with his wh.o.r.e, He sends for rods, and strips himself stark naked; For his l.u.s.t sleeps, and will not rise before, By whipping of the wench, it be awaked.

I envy him not, but wish I[523] had the power To make myself his wench but one half-hour.

FOOTNOTES:

[523] So Isham copy.--Ed. A "he."

IN CASTOREM. x.x.xIV.

Of speaking well why do we learn the skill, Hoping thereby honour and wealth to gain?

Sith railing Castor doth, by speaking ill, Opinion of much wit, and gold obtain.

IN SEPTIMIUM. x.x.xV.

Septimius[524] lives, and is like garlic seen, For though his head be white, his blade is green.

This old mad colt deserves a martyr's praise, For he was burned[525] in Queen Mary's days.

FOOTNOTES:

[524] So ed. B.--Isham copy, ed. A, and MS. "Septimus."

[525] "Burn" is often used with an indelicate _double entendre_. Cf.

_Lear_ iii. 2, "No heretics _burned_ but wenchers' suitors;" _Troilus and Cressida_, v. 2, "A _burning_ devil take them."

OF TOBACCO. x.x.xVI.

Homer of Moly and Nepenthe sings; Moly, the G.o.ds' most sovereign herb divine, Nepenthe, Helen's[526] drink, which gladness brings, Heart's grief expels, and doth the wit refine.

But this our age another world hath found, From whence an herb of heavenly power is brought; Moly is not so sovereign for a wound, Nor hath nepenthe so great wonders wrought.

It is tobacco, whose sweet subtle[527] fume The h.e.l.lish torment of the teeth doth ease, 10 By drawing down and drying up the rheum, The mother and the nurse of each disease; It is tobacco, which doth cold expel, And clears th' obstructions of the arteries, And surfeits threatening death digesteth well, Decocting all the stomach's crudities;[528]

It is tobacco, which hath power to clarify The cloudy mists before dim eyes appearing; It is tobacco, which hath power to rarify The thick gross humour which doth stop the hearing; 20 The wasting hectic, and the quartan fever, Which doth of physic make a mockery, The gout it cures, and helps ill breaths for ever, Whether the cause in teeth or stomach be; And though ill breaths were by it but confounded, Yet that vild[529] medicine it doth far excel, Which by Sir Thomas More[530] hath been propounded, For this is thought a gentleman-like smell.