"In truth, Sam, Caitha is a good cook, but May is the best in the community. I can boil but an egg and would not do that unless needed."

"Ah, but you wield the best sword in either of the communities."

"But Keddi is a master with her bow and arrow."

"We should make her teach us."

Meera nodded, thinking that a good idea.

Caitha and Jandra finally came out with rocker in-hand, but followed by May, "Just as I thought. These two were up to no good. They have been rearranging the bedroom furniture."

Caitha sat down in the rocker next to Meera, and tried to look innocent, "It is just located all wrong in their room, Meera. I could not but help myself. It called to me."

- 235 -.

Jandra went over to Sam, "I am sorry, Sam. I know it to be your bedroom, but it does not look like it is well cared for, so we just began to make it more, well"

Sam interrupted, "It be fine, Jandra. Caitha. Whatever you wish to do be but fine." She went back to eating her meal, "May, this meal is my favorite and is most delicious. Thank you for making it for us."

"Would you like more, Highest?"

Sam nodded, "Is there enough?"

May didn't wait to give an answer but went to bring more back for Sam.

Caitha brought her meal to the rocker, "Sam, I have heard that you but visit with the children. Did the executions do much damage?"

Jandra frowned, not wanting such a topic raised, but saw that it was too late.

Sam also frowned, shook her head, and halted her eating, "Everything I do or touch of late seems to be involved with betrayal. The children have been infested with the idea of evil. I but tried to replace some of their thinking with other notions, but I fear the ideas are with them. We will have to work hard as a community to rid them of such."

Jandra noticed that Sam had quit eating, when May returned, "Here is another helping, Highest."

"I have changed my mind, May. I will settle for just some tea."

May glared at Jandra, and Jandra glared at Caitha. Caitha saw that she had raised a bad topic that had caused Sam to halt her eating. "Sam, you but get me into trouble by not eating."

Sam looked around and saw that May wasn't going to leave until she ate some more, "Are you all certain that I am old enough to be The Highest? You but treat me as a child."

Meera laughed, but Caitha hit her gently on the arm, "Do not side with her. Look how thin she gets."

Meera moved away, in play, "She be correct, Caitha. She can live her own life quite well. If you but saw her with a sword or a bow and arrow, you would understand. When we fight together, I know that my back be but well tended."

Jandra shook her head, "That be fine, Meera, but it be not enough.

She may be a decent warrior, but she tends not to herself at all well. Eat, Sam, or May, Caitha and I will have to force it down you."

Sam laughed and looked at Meera, "Sounds like a bet, to me. Should we take them on?"

Meera shook her head and continued to eat, "You are on your own. I like this food much and will not waste my moment on this bet. Given their frustration with you, we may lose as we will not pull out a sword."

- 236 -.

Sam grinned and held up her hands, "You win, May and Jandra. I eat."

Sam sat down, and finally all were eating their meal.

After her Second helping, Sam sat back and drank her wine, "Meera, I want to tend to the boundary."

Meera looked well surprised, "During these moments, Sam? Now?"

Sam nodded, "It has calmed down some, and I haven't been at the boundaries in well over a moon. I am past due. And, unless someone else arranged for it so, Betten and Anja, and Sumi and Nodda need supplies.

They haven't recently come to the community."

"I have not seen or heard from them either, but I think it better that I but send someone else, Sam."

Sam looked at the gardens, "Meera, I go."

"Who goes with you?"

Jandra noticed Sam's funny use of language, "What be this word you usehaven't?"

"I read it in the diaries of old. Does it not sound old to you?"

"What is it?"

"Haven't for have not, I but think."

"The First Ones used such a word?"

"Many such words. Shouldn't. Can't."

"Can't? What does this mean?"

"Cannot. I can't go to the boundary because Meera is overly mean to me."

Meera laughed, "I say again, Sam, who goes with you? You cannot go alone."

"Who would you have go with me?"

"All our guards would please me well."

Jandra interrupted, "Who are these people you speak of? Are these women of our community?"

Meera looked at her, "You know them not?"

Jandra shook her head, "No."

"They are of our community but wish to be self-reliant. We trade goods with them and Sam takes out needed supplies to them when she but goes."

"How do I not know of this?"

Sam and Meera both shrugged but said nothing. It was becoming obvious to both Sam and Meera that there was much that went on in their small communities that had been hidden.

Sam sighed and changed the subject, "Speaking of your guards, Meera, and I am but sure you have already tended to this. Will you re-train Keet's guards for us?"

- 237 -.

"It has already begun. They are but lazy. We have them on a training schedule that they but complain about."

"Should we have a replacement for Keets, or would you be willing to provide leadership to all the guards?"

Jandra interrupted, "Make her a Second of Defense, and have her be the advisor to all the guards."

Meera shook her head, "Keddi could replace Keets."

Sam shook her head, "No. We have other uses for her. We must consider beginning the scouts once again. I need you to take over the command of all the guards. Will you do this for me?"

Meera looked hard at Sam. "Who but goes with you on your boundary round?"

Sam laughed, "Must I always get one thing by giving away another?"

Meera raised her eyebrow and said nothing. She waited, smiling her wily smile.

Sam thought about it a moment, "I have gone alone prior, Meera."

"You were not Highest then. And you also left before I but knew."

"I could do so again."

Meera shook her head, "I would warn you not to place a wager on that statement. You are well watched these moments."

Sam sighed again, "You have imprisoned me, then."

Jandra didn't want the eve to deteriorate, "Sam, what if we turned it into an adventure? I have never been to the boundaries and much enjoyed the scenery on our last journey to the Woman in the Woods. What if we took Meera and Caitha, Keddi and Margeria, and you and me? It would be fun. You would be well guarded, and I would get to see the boundaries.

Caitha, what do you but think?"

Caitha was yet eating. She loved May's cooking. "Meera tries to keep me but safe and secure in the community. But for myself, I would love to see the boundaries. I have not yet seen them prior, either."

Meera looked at Sam, "Be this what you want?"

"You?"

"That and two more guards and I will but agree."

May brought out sweets for all, "Highest, I think you will but like this.

It is a new type of cake I make. Try it and let me know."

Sam took a bite, "This is wonderful, May. What is in it?"

May winked, "I will not tell. The more you eat of it, the more familiar it will become."

Sam ate and enjoyed her cake. It tasted of a spice cake but looked like it had some vegetables in it. She cared not. It was a sweet and delicious.

She asked for another piece after she finished her first.

"I agree, Meera. Four guards and four of us."

- 238 -.

Jandra looked suddenly troubled, "Sam, perhaps I should not ride with you. I must tend to the festival."

"We will be gone but two or three eves. Can you not have the others tend to it during that moment?"

"If it be no more than three. That will leave me three to tend to the festival, and it will be enough."

Meera arranged the trip for them to leave the next morn. The horses, supplies, guards, and weapons would all be ready by early morn. Meera and Caitha then left as Jandra had her meeting to arrange for the festival. Since she had some moments of peace, Sam retrieved the community's diaries so as to continue her reading. She returned to the patio to read since the sun was yet up, and since Jandra had taken the meeting room.

Entry #11: After 2 cycles here, our scouts have finally returned with good news. We have our land. We've been saving provisions in preparation for the move, but it's been a hard battle to keep them. The colony keeps raiding our temporary community, but we keep holding them off thankfully, not for much longer. I have buried the original diaries in order to keep them safe, in a small box. We have marked the site with a large stone, 250 paces in from the sea, in the middle of our temporary community. The large stone sits among four nut trees. We will try to take the diaries with us, but I believe we'll have to fight our way out of here, so will probably have to return at some point to retrieve them. And I don't think we have enough room in the boat for everything.

Some more women from the colony have risked coming over to join us. We now have 44 women who will make the move in just a few days. Most of us have never been on the sea so are fearful of the voyage, but would rather face the sea than risk further enslavement from the colony.

Many women and men leave the colony now. People are put to death daily for an infraction of any rule. While some men seek refuge with us too, we will accept only women from this point on. After the rule of silence imposed on all women, man-datory laws to birth five children each, and the loss of all personal freedom, we can no longer stay here. We have lost many lives in this battle, but we now leave soon. The colony will be unable to follow us, as we have sunk most of their boats.

As a community we fight hard, but have few skills. We hope our gardening and building skills, as miserable and pathetic as they are, will allow us to get through our first cycle. Our scouts tell us that we will be able to sustain ourselves through fishing, if necessary, until our crops are successful. While I don't - 239 -.

wish to eat fish for longer than necessary, I would eat raw worms for many terms than stay in this place any longer.

Entry #12 We prepare to depart. We have managed to steal another boat. Our own attempts at building one were disgraceful, but since we don't want Burn and the likes of him to follow us, we stole one of his. It isn't as good as the others cause we had burned his good ones, but it's the only other alternative we have.

We've saved some garden seeds for replanting, have made some leather hides for blankets, but they don't smell too good, and we have a lot of dried food. We're hoping we can stop to fish and catch some game along the way. Our scouts have told us that it will take us at least 3-4 weeks, perhaps longer.

I'm excited about the new land. Our scouts have told us much about it. It has three very large rivers. It borders the forest and the sea. It has grasslands for good crops. And it is well sheltered and far away from all other communities.

It'll mean having to rebuild everything, though, as we can't take everything we have made during our wait. It's all we can do to carry enough food, water, supplies, tools, our tamed livestock, and weapons. We've finally decided to let the men come in another boat and build a community next to ours. They've volunteered to have only a men's community, follow our laws and offer their assistance and protection. Like us, they've begun to pair off within themselves. They no longer need or want women.

There's been far too much abuse between us to try to get along anymore. There's been too much abuse and control on their parts for us to ever trust them again, at least in my lifetime.

I can't go back to retrieve the diaries I buried. Burn has taken over that area and camps right on top of them without knowing. Perhaps in time I can return to retrieve them, but I fear they are gone from us forever.

It's strange, now. I have come to see this as my home and this violent life as my life now. Once upon a time, I was a noted scientist. Now I'm becoming a gardener, builder and woman-warrior; and perhaps, lesbian if such a label even applies. I still think of home, so many light years away, but no longer think of it as home. Now we will begin a new life. One I hope more from. We have begun to talk about a system of governance and have agreed we need a leader, but we haven't decided if it should be voted like we did back home, with elections every so often, or if we should just have a monarchy and be done with it. We leave in the morn, winds willing.

- 240 -.

Entry #13: It's night of our first day at sea. Most of the women are sick on board the boat I'm on. Only two know how to sail and give orders to the rest of us. We had a very difficult leaving.