Barely ten minutes later, somebody knocks on my door. I head over and squint through the peephole. Jax. For f.u.c.k's sake... Do I ignore him?

He knocks again and calls my name. Loudly. I yank the door open and pull my best disdainful face as I look back into the drunk eyes and flushed face of a lost-looking Jax.

"I said no, Jax. Be quiet and go!" In case he attempts to throw his drunken self at me, I cross my arms tightly over my chest. He runs a drunk look along the length of my body and I ready myself for the inevitable comment. "Did the other girls say no? 'Cause you won't find a yes from me."

"What? What girls?" He glances around.

"Goodnight, Jax." I step back and prepare to shut the door.

"I need to talk to somebody."

"Talk. Right." I look around the edge of the door at him. He doesn't move any closer or attempt to touch me.

"I do! Things have gone to s.h.i.t, Tegan!"

"Why? What's wrong?"

"Please. I need to talk to someone." His shoulders are slumped as if the world has crashed onto them and, annoyingly, concern creeps in.

"What's going on?" I ask, more gently "Ruby Riot. We're screwed!" He throws his hands in the air, voice rising. "I should make the most of all this because it's over!"

"Shush! What the h.e.l.l happened? Did you have a fight with Ruby? Or the boys?"

He mutters something under his breath and wipes a hand down his face. "Can I come in?"

"How drunk are you?"

"A bit." He huffs. "I don't know who else to talk to about this s.h.i.t, Tegan."

In a move I could live to regret, I open the door far enough for Jax to walk in. He pa.s.ses, stinking of whisky and I wrinkle my nose. Unsteadily, Jax heads for the large blue sofa in one corner of the suite and flops down. For a few moments, he stares at the ceiling. Is he going to sleep?

"I'm listening. What happened?" I ask.

"Got any beer?"

"No." I approach and sit next to him on the sofa. "I'm sure you're just drunk and can sort this out. Tell me the story if you want my opinion."

Jax gazes at me, his ice blue eyes focusing on my mouth, and he reaches out to touch my lips. "You're f.u.c.king beautiful."

I take his hand and move it away. "So eloquently put, Jaxon."

"Sorry I forgot to call earlier." He curls his hand around mine and I pull it away. "When she told me, I lost the plot and she tried to talk to me and I went to the hotel bar then I drank too much then I remembered and called you and -" He pauses his burbling and stands abruptly. "f.u.c.k!"

"Jax, calm down. She? Ruby? What did she say?"

Jax slumps next to me again. "Ruby's pregnant."

Wow, not what I expected.

"And she wants to give up everything for a baby? That's crazy!"

"Yeah, she says until it's born and she'll be back, but I bet she won't!"

"Why wouldn't she come back to the band?"

Jax looks at me as if I'm stupid. "Um, because... baby?"

"Yeah?"

"She can't have a baby and be in Ruby Riot!" he says with a small laugh.

I straighten. "Are you and the twins are kicking her out? What does Jem say? The band would be ruined if you did that!"

"No! I haven't spoken to Will and Nate yet. Not sure they know. What I mean is, she can't do both."

"Seriously, Jax?"

"What?"

"That's a bit s.e.xist. In fact, a lot s.e.xist! Tell me you're joking."

His brows tug together, what I'm saying isn't what he expected either. "We're at the very edge of success! We can't stop now."

"Is she cancelling the tour?"

"No, but -"

"So what's the problem?"

"She's having a kid!"

"When?"

"I don't f.u.c.king know!"

"Do you want me to talk to you or not?" I stand. "Leave if you're going to swear at me!"

"Sorry," he says quietly. "I don't know. Summer maybe."

What do I say to him? I hardly know any of them, but Ruby's famous for her tenacity and ambition, she wouldn't give up her music career.

"The kid will have a dad that can help out, you know? It's not like she'll be stuck at home minding the baby." I pause. "It is Jem's?"

Jax's mouth hardens. "Yeah. At least it's not Dan's. Her ex."

"And Jem's fine with it?"

"I dunno. Can't imagine he'll stick around. This is Jem f.u.c.king Jones we're talking about. She's screwed!"

I inhale sharply at the vehemence in his tone. "They seem close to me."

Jax grunts and I sit back next to him. Talking about Jem has. .h.i.t another nerve I don't want to expose. "I know this is a shock, but it doesn't mean the end. It's a baby, not a split!"

Another grunt.

"I'm sure once you all sit down and talk through the future plans, you'll feel better. I know it sounds mercenary, but people are investing time and money in Ruby Riot. You've signed contracts. This isn't about to end any time soon." He stares at the floor. Am I wasting my breath? "Sleep on it, Jax. Talk to her in the morning when you're calmer."

Jax's eyes glaze for a moment and he blinks at me. "Did I upset you?"

"No, I'm tired. I was going to finish my movie and crash. I want to explore some of Paris tomorrow before we move on." I stand.

As if noticing for the first time, Jax takes in the shortness of my shorts and the fit of my top before turning a drunken smile to me. "Can I stay?"

"No!"

"I want to make it up to you, make you feel special because I f.u.c.ked up tonight." He stands too and wraps a finger around a loose tendril of my hair.

"Don't, Jax," I warn him as he edges closer. "I don't want to kiss you."

"Why?" He brushes his lips against my cheek and I jerk my head away.

"How do I know what you've been doing tonight? Or who with?"

"I told you! I was on my own at the bar!" He rubs his brow. "There was a girl at some point, I think, but I didn't do anything with her. I wanted you."

My stomach turns. He was with a girl. How do I know he's not lying about whether he did anything? She could've knocked him back and now he's trying me. Tonight has pinpointed my lack of trust and I don't think I can be involved with Jax. He didn't call me, and I immediately jumped to conclusions. If this relationship or whatever we are continues, it's going to ruin my time on tour.

"I don't want to be your second choice."

"What? No!" He strokes my hair. "You're not! I want you. You're special, like... I dunno. Special."

I half-smile at his struggle to express himself. "A challenge?"

"Is that what you think?"

I shrug. "Maybe."

"Tegan..." Jax folds his arms around me and hugs me to his chest. I'm happy the smell of alcohol and his inebriated state have deadened my usual heart-thumping arousal from being close to him. "That's not true," he mumbles, breath tickling my skin.

I disentangle myself from his arms and duck my head as he moves in for a kiss. "We'll talk tomorrow. When you're sober."

"Huh. Fine. Whatever."

See. This is why I can't continue. I've never been a jealous person around guys, but this is crazy. I hardly know him.

"I need to take a p.i.s.s," he says and walks off, not looking at me.

Whoa. He really doesn't like the word no. I perch on the sofa and wait for him to return, lost in my confused thoughts. Ten minutes later and Jax hasn't returned. Worried he may have pa.s.sed out, I head towards the bedroom.

"Jax?"

The ensuite bathroom door is open, nothing's on the floor apart from the shiny grey tiles, and he hasn't decided to try the bath for size.

No, but he's trying out my bed.

Jax lies on top of the bedding, fully clothed apart from his shoes which bizarrely he decided to take off. Snoring. Loudly.

"Jesus, Jax!" I shout but he doesn't flinch.

Now what? Try to move him? An immediate image of Jax dragging me onto the bed and what could follow jumps into my head. I'm not worried he'll force himself on me; I'm worried that a part of me would be happy for Jax to pin me to the bed. The stupid part that replays our encounter last week every night before I fall asleep.

I grab a pillow and pull the duvet out from under him. He mumbles and turns to the side. As I drag the duvet out of the bedroom for a night on the sofa, I look back and I can't help giggling at the situation.

"I guess you managed to get into my bed, Jax Lewis."

20.

TEGAN.

Nine a.m. An hour ago, I left the loudly snoring rock star resident in my bed and headed to the gym. Now, on the way back to my suite, I daydream about my plans for a Parisian day out. Without said rock star.

My exhaustion and the size of the sofa meant a half-decent sleep last night although, at three a.m., Jax was snoring at a volume to rival a freight train. I was on the verge of dragging him out of my bed and shoving him out the door, conscious or not. Deciding that'd take too much effort - and lead me to close physical contact and temptation - I pulled the blanket over my head and went back to sleep on the sofa.

Last night sharpened a few things into focus for me. When I played around with Jax, holding him at arm's length, whilst I laughed at his obvious attraction to me, the situation was amusing. I'm used to dealing with guys who hit on me, and normally I'm immune to their attempts to undress me. Allowing him closer is a mistake.

Since I broke up with Scott late last year, I've been extra cautious. My heart wasn't broken, but severely bruised, and the effect our break-up had was unpleasant. Sure, I dealt with the hurt but the betrayal p.i.s.sed me off. I'm a straight-up person. Scott bulls.h.i.tted me for months, insisted he wasn't interested in Heather. He claims nothing happened between them until after our relationship finished, but I fail to believe that. Scott and Heather lived in the same Halls at uni for a whole semester. I was in Asia.

I'm not nave; we were - are - too young for a relationship like that to survive. What p.i.s.ses me off is, it was me who insisted long-distance wouldn't work; but Scott was adamant that, after being together two years, we should try. The lies and betrayal hurt more; the lack of respect, the worst part of the whole situation.

Allowing myself closer to Jax dredges unpleasant reminders. Suspicion and jealousy are on a hair trigger for me after my experience with Scott, and my reaction to Jax not contacting me until late last night is a shock. I'm rawer than I thought, and the fact Jax triggered these emotions so readily when we barely know each other, flashes a huge warning light. I'm fooling myself that time with Jax on tour is fun; my heart already betrays me into caring more than I should.

By the end of my workout, the decision is made. Time to rewind.

Sliding the keycard into the door, I walk into the darkened suite and pause. The sound of the shower running reaches my ears. In my bedroom, the white duvet is scrunched into a heap and what looks suspiciously like Jax's clothes from last night are dumped on the floor. I wrinkle my nose at the distinctive smell of stale alcohol and stare at the scene in disbelief. Seriously?

The ensuite door clicks open and Jax appears. Naked. Almost. A white hotel towel is slung and knotted low around his hips, barely reaching his knees, but aside from that... naked.

Naked. My breath disappears. The word won't leave my head; and if I closed my eyes, I'm d.a.m.n sure the image of his firm, muscular chest glistening with water wouldn't leave either.

Relieved my mouth isn't hanging open, I attempt to switch on the snarky Tegan who was about to give him a mouthful. Jax runs a hand through his damp hair and I'm distracted by the drops of water on his lips as they curve into a sheepish smile.