"Those are excuses."

Daniel didn't answer. He picked up his jacket from the sofa and slipped into it. "I'll talk to you later."

As he walked past, Ethan caught his arm. "You will talk to Sarah?"

Daniel inhaled deeply, not wanting to lie.

"Why don't you admit what's really bothering you?" Ethan said before he could reply.

"What?" Daniel asked in a low voice.

"You're blaming yourself for what happened to her. You're thinking that you're the reason she had to go through this nightmare again and you can't live with that thought."

"She's better off without me."

"Let her make that decision."

Daniel didn't respond and Ethan continued. "You once told me when I was unsure about my relationship with Serena not to mess up something that could be good for me. I'm telling you that now-don't deprive yourself or Sarah of something that could be good for both of you."

Daniel moved away and walked out the door heading for he knew not what. All he could see was darkness.

SARAH SPENT THE REST of the day visiting with Serena and Gran and it was exactly what she needed. Ethan came back, but he didn't say a whole lot about Daniel, just that he was going through a difficult time. He told them about Boyd's plan and a chill ran up her spine. She wanted to go to Daniel and to comfort him because she knew how much he loved his brother. She restrained herself knowing he needed this time with his family, but her heart ached for him.

Serena and Ethan left late afternoon to catch a flight back to San Antonio. It was just her and Gran again. Aurora embraced her granddaughter.

"I'm so happy you're okay, darling. I couldn't stand to lose you a second time."

Tears filled Sarah's eyes. "Thank you, Gran."

"I made so many mistakes with your mother and I promised myself I wouldn't do that with Serena. She turned out so beautifully that it's hard to believe I raised her."

"Serena's sweet and compa.s.sionate and everything a woman should be."

Aurora stroked Sarah's cheek. "So are you, my darling."

Sarah smiled, feeling so much love she thought her heart would burst.

"All those years Serena was growing up, I tried not to think about you because if I did I wouldn't be able to live with myself. But now you're here in my life, and you always will be. I love you, precious granddaughter."

"Oh, Gran." Sarah hugged her tightly. "I love you, too."

Sarah was home. There was just one other place she had to be before she was completely home-with Daniel.

She stepped back. "I'm going over to the hospital to check on the cops that were shot and a patient." Sarah reached for her jacket.

"That's fine, darling," Aurora said. "I have to call my friends and let them know I'm back."

"I'll pick up something for dinner on my way back."

"'Bye, darling."

MAC WAS RESTING comfortably and was expected to have a full recovery. Sarah walked down the hall to Chad's room and knocked lightly. There was no response so she pushed the door open and glanced in. Chad was propped up on pillows, his chest bandaged, and blood dripped into his arm through an IV. His heart was also being monitored. He was asleep, as was the young woman sitting by his bedside, her head resting on their clasped hands.

Sarah started to close the door when Chad opened his eyes and saw her.

"Ms. Welch," he muttered in a weak voice.

"What?" The young woman immediately jumped up as if something was wrong.

Sarah had no choice but to enter the room.

"It's okay, honey," Chad said. "This is Ms. Welch, and Ms. Welch, this is Niki, my girlfriend."

"Nice to meet you," Sarah said, and Niki tried to smile, but Sarah could see how incredibly exhausted she was.

"Why don't you go get some coffee and something to eat," Chad suggested.

"I..."

"I'll stay until you get back," Sarah offered.

Niki rubbed her eyes and stood up. "Okay. I won't be long." She kissed Chad and quietly left.

"Gosh, Daniel said you were fine, but it's good to see with my own eyes," said Chad.

"It's good to see you, too. The nurse said you were doing great."

Chad glanced away. "I should never have let Drew in the house. I just never dreamed he had anything to do with all of this. I feel so responsible-as if I've let Daniel down."

"Don't blame yourself. I told you to let him in, remember? And if you hadn't, they'd have found a way to break in. I'm sure Daniel doesn't blame you for anything, either."

"I suppose."

Sarah thought she should change the subject. "I like Niki."

Chad raised his eyes. "She's been here since they brought me in. My friends and parents have been in and out, but Niki hasn't left and I can't get her to go home." He looked at Sarah. "She really loves me and we talked for a long time. I guess I had to get shot to do that, and you were right, she was insecure about my feelings. I finally have this love thing figured out."

"Have you?"

"Love is when you want to be with that person more than anyone and you're there for that person no matter what. Even if I was paralyzed, Niki would still be here. I know that beyond a doubt."

"You have that besotted look in your eyes," she teased.

He grinned. "Yeah."

They were silent for a moment.

"Daniel was here earlier and he looked like his heart had been ripped out."

Sarah's chest tightened, but before she could say anything, Niki came back and Sarah said her goodbyes.

In the hall she paused to gather herself. Daniel, where are you? Please talk to me.

She hurried to Brooke's room before she got bogged down in crippling thoughts. Brooke and her parents were getting ready to leave.

"Oh, Ms. Welch," Brooke ran to her. "You're okay."

"Yes."

"Detective Devers said the rapist was killed and it was safe to go home."

"Yes. It's over." Sarah wasn't sure how much Russ had told her, but from what she knew of Russ, probably not much.

Brooke heaved a long sigh. "I'm glad. I'm ready to go home."

"That's a good sign."

"I've talked with Dr. Mason and I really like her. Not as much as you, though," Brooke added quickly.

"It's okay, Brooke, as long as you're talking to someone."

"Dr. Mason said Brooke could go back to cla.s.ses whenever she wanted." Brooke's mother spoke up. "What do you think?"

"That's up to Brooke," Sarah replied. "The sooner you get back into life, the sooner you can put all this behind you."

"But it never really goes away, does it?" Brooke asked. She sounded so sad.

"Honey, let's go." Brooke's father tried to stop Sarah from answering and Sarah understood why.

"Did Dr. Mason set up some appointments for you?" she asked instead.

"Yes."

"Then we'll talk about your question in those sessions. Just remember you did nothing wrong and you have nothing to be ashamed of." Like I have been for so many years. That had been the root of all her insecurities. But not anymore-thanks to Daniel and her many talks with Brooke. She'd stripped because she'd made a conscious choice to stay alive. That was nothing to be ashamed of-if anyone didn't understand that, then they didn't deserve to know her.

"Dr. Mason said there's a rape victim's group that I could join."

"Yes. That would be very helpful."

Brooke looked down. "I don't know if I can talk about it in front of other people."

"If you don't feel like it, you don't have to. You can just listen. Sometimes it helps to hear what other people have been through."

Brooke gave her a shaky smile. "I'm glad I got to meet you. You helped me more than I can tell you."

"Thank you," Sarah said. "I'm glad I met you, too."

"I'll see you in the office," Brooke said as they left.

Brooke was going to be fine, Sarah thought as she made her way down the corridor. She kept looking for Daniel, hoping he'd be here. She asked at the desk and they said he'd stopped by earlier.

Russ had said she had to give a statement so she decided to do it now. Maybe Daniel was at the station and she could talk to him.

When she got there and asked the officer at the desk, he said Daniel wasn't in. She then asked for Russ and was shown into the same room she'd been in earlier. She took a seat and waited. She glanced around-all the files were gone, there were only a couple of desks and chairs. A few hours ago she'd sat in this same chair waiting for a killer to be caught, but it was tolerable because Daniel had been with her. Now everything had changed. The killer was dead, Drew was dead and Daniel was suffering. That she couldn't reach him was intolerable.

Russ came charging in. "Sarah," he said in surprise. "What are you doing here?" He still wore the same rumpled clothes of the night before. His beard was now almost full and the toothpick was back in his mouth.

"You said I needed to give a statement," she reminded him.

"Don't you want to give that to Daniel?"

"Yes, but he's not here." She frowned. "Russ, have you been here all night and all day?"

"Yep. We finally got everything out of Arnie and Tom and the A.D.A. feels she has enough to get an indictment and conviction so I'm fixing to go home and crash for a few hours. h.e.l.l, I might crash for two days."

"Has Daniel been in?"

"For a little while, then his father called and he had to leave."

"I see," she replied, then bit her lip. "I might as well give you my statement. Daniel needs to be with his family."

Russ hesitated for a second. "Okay. I'll get a tape recorder."

For the next thirty minutes she told Russ everything that happened after she'd left the station. She didn't leave out a thing, not even the part where she started to strip to keep Claude occupied, hoping to catch him off guard.

Russ clicked off the machine. "I'll get it typed up and you can sign it tomorrow."

She stood. "Okay. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Sarah." She glanced back at him. "I apologize for ever calling you Colder Than Ice. It took a lot of courage to do what you did last night."

More courage than she'd thought she had. "Don't shatter all my illusions, Russ. Let me go on thinking you're a macho, insensitive, tough guy."

He grinned. "I can do that because most of the time it's true."

"Good night, Russ."

He followed her to the door. "I'll give the A.D.A. a copy of your statement and if she needs you to testify, I'll let you know."

"She won't be testifying."

Sarah swung around to face Daniel and her heart sank to the pit of her stomach. Like Russ, he still had on the same clothes of the night before and they were more wrinkled than Russ's. His hair was tousled and he had a growth of beard, but the pain in his eyes was vivid and strong and it took everything in her not to reach for him.

"That's not your call," Russ said.

"She's not testifying," Daniel repeated.

Russ held up both hands. "Okay. I get the message and now I'm going home before I have to punch you in the mouth." He walked off down the hall.