"It was almost like last time. Claude broke in and shot Chad and Ron and..."

"Oh, Sarah."

"I didn't fall apart like before, though. I fought back until he shot Daniel's brother."

"You saw all this?" Serena asked in a shocked voice.

Sarah nodded. "Yes. I tried to help them, to help Drew, but..."

Suddenly, Sarah grabbed her sister and they clung together. "I'm so glad you're here."

"I wouldn't be anywhere else-not when you need me."

Sarah pulled back and brushed away tears. "I need Daniel, too."

Serena blinked. "Oh."

"The past few years you've been trying to get me to date and I have stoutly resisted saying I wasn't like you, that I didn't need a man in my life. But I realized I'm more like you than I ever thought. I want a man who loves me-a home and kids. And I want Daniel."

Serena took Sarah's hand again and settled close to her. "Tell me how all this came about."

Sarah told her everything that had happened since she'd last seen her, but she didn't go into detail about that night in Daniel's condo. She was sure Serena could put two and two together.

"All this time I've been suppressing my real feelings for Daniel-out of betrayal to Greg, guilt, whatever. I know now I've been falling in love with him for a very long time."

"And he feels the same way?"

"Yes. His brother's death has. .h.i.t him hard, though, and he's pushing me away."

Serena shook her head. "I just feel so sorry for what he's going through."

"I do, too, and I want to be there for him, to help him through this but..."

"But what?"

"I keep remembering back to that time when we were rescued from Boyd and you wanted me to talk. I just wanted to be left alone and that's how Daniel is feeling now. He's shutting the whole world out...including me."

"The trauma of last night will fade and Daniel will think more clearly," Serena promised. "He's probably already regretting what he said."

"Always the optimist," Sarah remarked.

"You bet. I believe in happy endings and I know they're real every time I look into Ethan's eyes. And when I look into Ja.s.sy's there is absolutely no doubt."

"I love you." Sarah smiled, realizing she'd been yearning for family and roots and she had all that by being part of Serena's life, by being her twin. As a woman, though, she needed so much more.

"I love you, too." Serena smiled back. "We'll get through this just like before."

Sarah wasn't so sure. She couldn't survive this without Daniel and that shook her. Through sheer will-power she'd overcome the past braver and stronger; she wondered how long she could sustain that strength without him. He might want her to forget about him and their love, but she knew she never would.

Not ever.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN.

DANIEL SAT IN Drew's apartment trying to piece together the shattered remnants of his life. He'd told his parents about Drew and his mother had become hysterical. They'd called the doctor and he'd sedated her. His father had been drowning himself in a bottle of scotch when he'd left.

The room was dark, but outside the sun was heralding a new day. He glanced at the watch on his arm. It was after nine. How long had he been here? He didn't remember nor did he remember how he'd gotten here. All he knew was that he had to be close to Drew. His things were here-the pool table, big-screen TV, video games and a state-of-the-art stereo system. Everything was here but Drew.

There wasn't a sound in the room. He listened to his breath-in, out. He shouldn't be breathing. Claude should have shot him. Boyd should have killed Daniel instead of Drew. But then, Boyd wouldn't have gotten what he wanted. He'd wanted to hurt Daniel and he had. He was hurting worse than he'd ever hurt in his life.

In ways you can never imagine. Boyd's words kept torturing him.

He got to his feet and flipped on the light. A picture of him and Drew stood on a table. The two of them were fishing and Drew looked happy. Happy? How well did he know Drew? Claude was right; the Garrett family had been eager to hand over the responsibility for Drew. A week of fishing did not make up for years of closing his eyes to Drew's problem.

When Drew would run away, he'd come to Daniel. He often looked dazed, Daniel had thought from the medication. But it wasn't that-he'd been doing heroin. As a narcotics detective, he should have been able to see that. He hadn't. He hadn't seen a thing. He'd ignored the signs, he'd ignored everything and now Drew was dead.

An overpowering helplessness gripped him and he picked up the picture and threw it against the wall, a vase followed, video games, movies-anything he found, he slammed against the wall.

"Hope you're getting it out of your system because you're making a d.a.m.n mess." Russ stood in the doorway.

"Get out of here, Russ," Daniel shouted.

"Ah, Daniel, you know I don't take orders very well."

"Shut up and leave me the h.e.l.l alone."

"Sorry, can't do that, either. I promised Sarah."

Sarah. Sarah. Sarah.

He stuck out his hand as if to ward off the power of her name, but it seeped through his defenses. Oh, G.o.d, Sarah, no. Weak and empty, he sank to the floor and rested his back against the wall. As exhausted as he was, he couldn't let her memory take control. He couldn't. She was better off without him.

Russ sank down beside him on the floor. "I'm sorry about Drew."

"Thank you," Daniel mumbled. "I should have seen what was going on. There were signs and I ignored them. Claude had scratches on his arms. He said it was from a cat he rescued out of a tree and I believed him. They were Brooke Wallace's scratches as she'd fought for her life. I didn't suspect a thing, just like I never suspected Tom. I've lost my edge. I shouldn't even be a detective."

"h.e.l.l, Daniel, you're not G.o.d. No matter how hard you try, you can never second-guess a corrupt mind."

"Boyd planned all this in prison." The diabolic plan was clear in Daniel's head but the details were sketchy.

Russ stretched out his legs. "Yep. I've been at the police station and Arnie's talking his head off. We can't seem to shut him up. He said Boyd started telling him about all the money he had stashed away and how he could get it and the clubs if Arnie did what he wanted. The plan at first was to get to you through Drew-seems Drew's been involved with Boyd for a long time."

"I don't understand that," Daniel said. "How could my brother be involved with that lowlife? He knew how hard I worked to get him off the streets."

Russ rubbed his beard. "Well, Daniel, you might not like to hear it, but Drew was a drug addict and you've been in narcotics long enough to know that addicts will do anything to get their drug, even betray someone they love."

Daniel's throat muscles closed up.

"Something else you might not like to hear," Russ went on. "Drew was more than a little involved in this. Arnie said the plan was to start killing young women to get the police in a frenzy. With the heroin in the arm, Boyd was counting on you to pay him a visit. Then with his help to solve the crimes, he was betting that the D.A. would pull some strings to lighten his sentence. Arrogant b.a.s.t.a.r.d evidently doesn't understand the judicial system. And to put the screws to you, Boyd wanted Drew to kill the first girl, but he couldn't, so Claude took over. Drew was there for the first rape."

A tortured moan left Daniel's throat. Russ stopped for a second, then continued. "Arnie said Drew was so upset that Claude had to give him more heroin than usual, then later he withheld it from him because he didn't do what Boyd wanted him to. Drew went into deep withdrawal and Claude was afraid you'd stop by unannounced so he gave him an injection." Russ paused again. "Claude supplied drugs to college kids. He chose girls from the parties who wouldn't take drugs. The plan was just to kill the first girl. When Drew couldn't, Claude dragged her into the bushes and raped her. That was his personal spin on this evil scheme."

Daniel felt the anger in him turn to disillusionment then denial, but he couldn't close his eyes anymore. He had to face the truth.

"For each rape and murder, Arnie and Claude received money and t.i.tles to property. Sarah's death was to be the big payoff. Boyd wanted her dead in the worst possible way and he knew you had a thing for her. It was just ironic that she happened to be counseling Miss Wallace instead of Dr. Mason. Claude checked at the hospital to see if Brooke was still alive and he saw Sarah coming out of her room. He told Arnie and Arnie relayed the news to Boyd who thought the plan was coming together better than expected. Claude left the messages."

Daniel's insides churned as if he was on the high seas, each rolling wave, each news flash, hitting him with such velocity that all he yearned for was a measure of peace.

"You taking her into your personal protection probably saved her life. Tom didn't know where you had her so Arnie forced him to put the tracer on your car."

Daniel couldn't think about what could have happened to Sarah. She was safe-away from him. He wanted to say so many things, but what came out of his mouth was, "I don't understand how Claude fooled my parents."

"Daniel." Russ sighed with fatigue. "Open your eyes. Claude didn't fool them. Drew did. Drew went through caretakers like cheap toilet paper. He never liked any of them because they watched him too closely. He didn't like those restrictions. He liked going out and doing what he wanted without it being reported back to your parents. Claude coaxed Drew into persuading your parents to hire him. Drew knew about the rapes, he lied to you about the scratches on Claude's arm and he got Claude into your house past the alarm and the guards, knowing what Claude had in mind for Sarah. Drew didn't care as long as he got the heroin."

Daniel clambered to his feet in an angry movement. "For heaven's sake, don't even try to spare my feelings."

Russ got to his feet more slowly. "When you start blaming yourself, it's time to take a reality check. You can't help someone who lies and deceives you at every turn. Drew's mind was messed up bad and there's no way you could have known what he was doing unless he wanted you to-and he didn't."

"I was his brother, his best friend," Daniel mumbled.

"No. Heroin was Drew's best friend."

Daniel paled as the truth hit him like an avalanche, taking him down into a dark hole where there was no light, no air. He was suffocating.

"That's hard, but it's the truth, so stop beating yourself up over this. Grieve for your brother, then get on with your life. There's a woman just waiting for you to call her, so pick up the phone and get your a.s.s over there."

Daniel pressed his hands against the sides of his head, trying to breathe normally and trying to block out Russ's words. "Get the h.e.l.l out of here. You're not helping. You're making me angry."

"Good. That means you're feeling and if..."

"Get the h.e.l.l out of here!" Daniel swung around as he heard a knock on the door. It was Ethan.

"Is it okay to come in?" Ethan asked.

"Ethan Ramsey." Russ walked over and shook his hand. "d.a.m.n good to see you."

"Good to see you, too." Ethan glanced at Daniel. "I heard shouting."

"That's Daniel's response to my lack of social skills," Russ said. "So I'll let you handle it from here." He glanced at Daniel. "Chad and Mac are out of surgery and the lieutenant wants to see you as soon as possible."

Daniel nodded and Russ left.

Daniel stared at his old friend and wanted to ask how Sarah was, but if he did, he'd fall apart completely. Right now he was walking a tightrope and he didn't know how much longer he could stay balanced.

Ethan took in Daniel's haggard appearance. "You don't look good."

Daniel fell onto the sofa and buried his face in his hands. "That's an understatement."

"I'm not going to say I'm sorry about your brother because you'll hear that a hundred times in the next few days and you know how I feel. I'll do whatever I can to help you."

"I'm not sure that's possible."

"Why?" Ethan sat in the chair opposite him.

"I'm not sure it's possible to live through this kind of pain." He glanced at Ethan and knew he'd been through similar circ.u.mstances. "How did you get over losing your son Ryan?"

"I won't lie to you. It wasn't easy-the healing has to come from within. Somewhere deep inside you'll find the strength to survive, to go on. You don't have much of a choice. I could have drunk myself into oblivion but that wasn't the epithet I wanted for my son. I wanted him to be proud of me just like you wanted Drew to be proud of you."

Daniel grimaced. "Drew would always ask if I was going to catch the bad guys. I thought he was proud of my work and I..."

"I went by the station," Ethan said when Daniel stopped talking. "Bill told me some of what Arnie Bishop was telling them. Since no one's heard from you, he's worried and sent Russ over here. That's how I found you."

"I treated Drew like a child," Daniel murmured as if Ethan hadn't spoken. "But he was an adult and understood a lot more than I gave him credit for. He lied to me, Ethan. He lied for Claude and I'm having a hard time accepting that."

"I didn't know your brother, but I know what drugs can do to the mind."

Daniel jerked to his feet and started to pace. "I thought Drew had learned his lesson with the overdose. h.e.l.l, I went into narcotics because of Drew, to get the sc.u.m that sold drugs to kids off the streets. My brother was working with the creeps! Drew knew exactly who Boyd was when we busted him. He was Drew's source. When I visited with Boyd in prison he said I would pay in ways I'd never imagine. He knew he had my brother under his control and he was holding the winning hand."

"Not quite," Ethan said. "Bill said Boyd's execution date has been set."

Daniel stopped pacing. "His death won't bring back Drew or those young girls or Greg or alleviate the h.e.l.l he's put Sarah through. Boyd's death won't make any of this right."

"Maybe not," Ethan admitted. "But his reign of terror will be over."

"Everything is over," Daniel muttered.

"What do you mean?"

Daniel took a deep breath and looked off to the windows and the sun streaming through. "I've loved Sarah for what seems like forever and it was very clear she hated me. I hung in there, though, waiting, hoping until finally she told me to stay away from her because I reminded her too much of the past. Boyd's note brought us back together, but it would have been better if she still hated me."

"Why?"

"We became very close in the past few days and I could see all my dreams coming true-I just had to keep her safe. Now I have this empty hole inside me and there isn't any room for anything else. I just feel the pain-that's all-and Sarah doesn't need any more pain in her life."

"No, she doesn't," Ethan agreed. "Serena and I didn't know what to expect when we got here, but we didn't see any of the old Sarah. She wasn't withdrawing into herself or cowering away in fear like the last time. She's stronger and braver than any woman I know and that includes my wife."

"I've always admired her fighting spirit."

Ethan stood. "Then let's go to the house so you can tell her that."

"I can't," Daniel said. "I have to check on my parents, then the guys at the hospital and I have to see Bill."