"Can all the philosophic ingenuity of London, this evening, produce such a scene? The gardens no doubt will be glorious, but the groundwork is also G.o.d's; but why say I that in particular? All is his; the very notes that warble through so many guilty throats are his creation; all the art of man cannot add to their number. Sweet bird, thy notes are innocent, O how sweet. Lovely trees--ye who stand erect, and ye who weep and wave; I wish no brighter scene. The shadows lengthen fast, so do yours and mine, my sovereign;* a few, a very few anniversaries, and we must change the scene--change to where no courtiers flatter, no false meteors blaze--where shadows flee away, realities appear, and nothing but realities will stand in any stead.

*Mrs. Graham received a pension as a British officer's widow until her death.

"O may we meet; for me, I nothing have, I nothing am. But One there is, who was and is all that the mind of saint or angel can conceive of glory and of happiness; and he is mine, and I am most blessed. Lengthen on, ye shadows, until all is shadow on these orbs of flesh. Then, O then,

"'My captive soul set free From cloggish earth which oft has made me sigh, Ascends the eternal hills, as seen to see, As known to know, and grasp the Deity.'"

"1802.

"Our friend B---- has now proved how far it is safe to leave the fate of eternity unsettled. He is gone to the state of the dead: with whom his soul is gathered, He only knows whose mercy none ought to limit; he is gone to his own place; if without a Surety-righteousness, which he sought not after in health, we know where that place is; but after reading of a thief on the cross, nothing with G.o.d is impossible.

My mind is much impressed; that sentence rings in my ears, so often repeated, 'I am determined to do all the good I can, and leave the rest to G.o.d. I have no time to search.' Oh, oh, one thing is needful.

"'Life's a folly, age a dream Borne along the common stream, Earth's a bubble light as air, If my rest be centered there.

How can that be solid joy Which a moment may destroy?'

"Mr. B---- was seized with the fever in its most malignant form; for him every genius was exerted, and the medical store ransacked for the healing balsam, but in vain. The Judge calls for the soul, and the body must, at his command, dislodge its tenant; how awful, if no surety was at hand, if he must stand naked--we know the rest: did I say we know? O no. What can we know of that wrath which in the garden of Gethsemane, when no murderous hand was near, no high-priest, no council, or cross, wrung the blood through every pore of the pure, the innocent Lamb of G.o.d, supported by G.o.dhead. If such things were done in the green tree, what shall be done in the dry?"

Another of her grandchildren was shortly after removed by death; his illness is noticed in the following meditation:

"AUGUST, 1802.

"'And that which cometh into your mind shall not be at all, that ye say, We will be as the heathen, as the families of the countries, to serve wood and stone.' 'And I will bring you into the wilderness, and there will I plead with you face to face: like as I pleaded with your fathers in the wilderness of the land of Egypt, so will I plead with you, saith the Lord G.o.d; and I will cause you to pa.s.s under the rod, and I will bring you into the bond of the covenant.' 'And ye shall remember your ways, and all your doings, wherein ye have been defiled; and ye shall loathe yourselves in your own sight, for all your evils that ye have committed: and ye shall know that I am the Lord, when I have wrought with you for my name's sake, not according to your wicked ways, nor according to your corrupt doings, O ye house of Israel, saith the Lord G.o.d.' Ezek. 20:32, 35, 36, 43, 44.

"It is good, yes, Lord, it is all good; too often have we said, 'we will be as the heathen, to serve wood and stone.' Often hast thou chastened, often have we confessed, often resolved that we would walk more softly, more tenderly, more circ.u.mspectly before thee. But, alas, when thy hand is removed, when thou healest us, and restorest to us health, comfort, and our pleasant things, we wax fat and kick, nestle in our comfort, abuse thy gifts, and lose sight of the giver. Alas, Lord, thus it must ever be with us, when we keep not near to thee; we cannot walk one step alone without stumbling. Thou knowest these naturally wicked hearts, that they are deceitful above all things; they betray us before we are aware. Blessed, ever blessed be our G.o.d for his well-ordered covenant. Blessed for the discipline of it. O Lord, we are again in the wilderness, and under thy chastising rod: for weeks past, we have 'eaten no pleasant bread;' thy rod is still suspended over our pleasant, our dear child; the streams of life ebb, he sickens, he dies, if thou interfere not. But the issues of death are in thy hand, and our eyes are towards thee. In vain are all means, all medicines, if thou impart not the healing virtue. Thy weeping servants seek the healing virtue from thy waters, thy seas, thy pure air. All nature is in thy hand and ministers thy pleasure; to some conveying health, to some disease. An herb to be boiled in simple milk, as the figs for Hezekiah's boils, has been proposed, O let this prove the appointed means, or direct and point out that which thou wilt bless, and let our hearts and tongues give the glory to thee.

"We deserve this bereavement; but, Lord, what do we not deserve?

Even according to the const.i.tution of the covenant of grace, and consistent with thy pardoning, saving mercy, and all thy long-suffering, wert thou to take vengeance on our inventions, by exercising all thy threatened chastis.e.m.e.nts, should we ever be out of the furnace? But even in this view, thou never hast dealt with us as our iniquities deserved. 'He will not always chide, neither will he keep his anger for ever.' Thou hast, in thousands of instances, 'cast our sins behind thy back, into the midst of the sea; blotted them out, to remember them no more for ever. Thy ways are not as our ways, nor thy thoughts as our thoughts,' We may plead, 'Deal not with us as we sin; but according to the mult.i.tude of thy mercies blot out our transgressions. Pardon our iniquity, for it is great.' Affliction is appointed, but it is 'in measure, when it shooteth forth.' O debate with it, and according to thy promise, 'stay thy rough wind in the day of thine east wind.' Lord, say it is enough, give the blessing, and by this measure shall iniquity be purged, and the fruit be to take away sin. All means are alike in thy hand, and any measure. In holy sovereignty and consummate wisdom thou afflictest, and in thy hand afflictions yield the peaceable fruits of righteousness: the hearts of thy people are melted, and they sing of mercy and of judgment, and glorify thy name. But, O Lord, a look, such as thou gavest to Peter, will melt our hearts and restore our backsliding souls. The announcing of our pardon by the same power, will make them overflow with love. If thou but call us by name, as thou didst her who sought thee at thy sepulchre, with the same power we shall recognize our Saviour and worship him.

"O Lord our G.o.d, ever faithful to thy promises, thou hast said, 'Whatsoever ye ask in my name, believing that ye receive, I will do it.' O Lord, I ask not the life of this child on this ground. I have through life asked one thing of thee, and that will I seek to obtain while life and breath remain, and reason and grace; I will seek it, seek it with importunity, holding fast by thy promise to do it, and believing that it shall be according to my pet.i.tion. Make good to me this thy promise, in a spiritual and eternal sense. Be my G.o.d, and the G.o.d of my children, and of my children's children, to the latest generation. Let my children according to the flesh, be thine by regeneration of the Holy Ghost: it is a great boon; but hast thou not said, 'Open thy mouth wide, I will fill it?' Father, do as thou hast said: this is my one pet.i.tion, and I cannot be said nay. I ask for myself, my children, and my children's children, to the latest generation, the life which Christ died to purchase, and lives to bestow, that we may be made one with him, and our life hid with him in G.o.d. Amen, and Amen.

"But, O my Father, thou hast said, 'Be careful for nothing; but in every thing, by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known unto G.o.d.' I ask, with submission to thy holy will, if consistent with thy glory, his good, and the good of the parents, the life of this child; that thou mayest spare him for our comfort, but first for thine own glory; that thou mayest give the different branches of this family a joyful meeting, a full feast of grateful thanks to thee for all thy mercies; and our hearts may rejoice before thee for the abundance of comfort. Shouldst thou, in thy adorable wisdom, otherwise determine, thy blessed and thy holy will be done. Wash the soul of this child in the blood of Jesus, clothe him with thy righteousness, sanctify him by thy Spirit, and fit him in every respect for thy kingdom. And O, my divine Redeemer, I renew my pet.i.tion which thou didst so evidently grant in the case of our dear Isabella: take him in thine arms of mercy; soften and shorten the parting pangs, and carry him gently through the dark valley, and give him an abundant entrance into thy heavenly kingdom, to join the hosannas of thy little children, of whom thy kingdom is partly made up: and O, sanctify the affliction to all concerned; direct our discipline according as thine all-seeing, heart-searching eye sees we need; that it may bring forth the peaceable fruits of righteousness, and 'the fruit of affliction be to take away sin,' and the glory of all redound to thee, Father, Son, and blessed Spirit. Amen, and Amen."

"SEPTEMBER, 1802.

"'What manner of persons ought ye to be in all holy conversation?'

"'O give thanks unto G.o.d, for he is good; his mercy endureth for ever.'

"'How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O G.o.d; how great is the sum of them.'

"'If I should count them, they are more in number than the sand.

When I awake I am still with thee.'

"'The Lord is gracious and full of compa.s.sion, slow to anger, and of great mercy.'

"'The Lord is good to all, and his tender mercies are over all his works.'

"'All thy works shall praise thee, O Lord, and thy saints shall bless thee.'

"'He hath not dealt with us after our sins, nor rewarded us according to our iniquities.'

"'Who is a G.o.d like unto thee, that pardoneth iniquity, and pa.s.seth by the transgression of the remnant of his heritage. He retaineth not his anger for ever, because he delighteth in mercy.'

"'He will turn again, he will have compa.s.sion upon us, he will subdue our iniquities, and thou wilt cast all our sins into the depths of the sea.'

"'Let Israel hope in the Lord, for with the Lord there is mercy, and with him is plenteous redemption.'

"'And he shall redeem Israel from all his iniquities.'

"'The Lord hath done great things for us, whereof we are glad.'

The Lord hath turned our captivity, filled our mouth with laughter and our tongue with singing.

"Thomas," her grandchild, "is restored to perfect health. Thou hast heard our pet.i.tions, and continuest to us all our pleasant things.

"It is a time of prosperity; thou givest us the 'upper and the nether springs;' thou blessest my children 'in their basket and in their store;' and while the riches of many are making to themselves wings and flying away--while many are sinking from affluence to poverty, falling on the right hand and on the left, by thy most manifest providence thou hast preserved them from the wreck. O teach them to acknowledge thy hand in all this, and to say and feel, 'Not unto us, O Lord, not unto us, but to thy name be the glory.' It is G.o.d that giveth power to get riches. O, enable them to honor thee with their substance, and with the first-fruits of all their increase.

"In the day of prosperity let them rejoice, but let this joy be in the Lord. O let thy gifts ever, ever lead them to the giver, and fill their hearts with grat.i.tude, their mouths with praise; and let their very actions be worship, while they acknowledge thee in all their ways, and thou directest their steps. May they be as 'a city set on a hill, which cannot be hid,' and their light so shine before men, that they seeing their good works, may glorify their Father in heaven.

"And now, O Lord, we wait for thy blessing in the restoration of our dear D---- and I. B---- and J----. 'Thou hast shown them great and sore adversities,' and thou hast manifested thy power to save. When they pa.s.sed through the waters thou wast with them, and through the rivers they did not overflow them. When they walked through the fire they were not burnt, neither did the flames kindle upon them. For thou art the Lord their G.o.d, the Holy One of Israel, their Saviour.

"Thou didst stay thy rough wind in the day of thine east wind, and in the mult.i.tude of their thoughts within them did thy comforts delight their soul. Thou humbledst them under thy mighty hand, and thou hast in the mult.i.tude of thy mercy exalted them in due time.

"In all their sojourning thou hast been with them; and in fellowship with thy church greatly hast thou comforted them. Thou hast given them favor in the hearts of thy people, and made 'the stones of the field to be at peace with them.' And now, O Lord, restore them to their friends and Christian society, and to their place which thou hast in thy goodness given and preserved to them. Here may they be thy witnesses, that 'thou art the Lord, and besides thee there is no Saviour.'"

"SEPTEMBER, 1802.

"This day has the Lord our G.o.d answered our prayers, and enriched us beyond the ordinary lot of humanity. D---- and I. B---- and J---- are restored to their preserved places, and to the bosom of their family. We are as men who dream; our mouths are filled with laughter, our tongues with singing; the Lord hath done great things for us, whereof we are glad. Thou hast turned our captivity as the streams in the south. We sowed in tears, we have reaped in joy. Bless the Lord, O our souls; ever true and faithful is his word: 'He that goeth forth and weepeth, bearing precious seed, shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him.'

"'O Lord, from thee is our fruit found;' may our sheaves be many and weighty, thou working all our works in us, to thine own glory and our blessedness. Amen."

"1802.

"Dear brother Pero,* happy brother Pero, thy Jesus, in whom thou trustedst, has loosed thy bonds, has brought thee to that rest which remains for the people of G.o.d; thou drinkest of the pure river that maketh glad the city of our G.o.d; of that blessed fountain from which issue all the streams which refresh and revive us weary pilgrims. But a little while ago, and thou wast weary, dark, and solitary; thy flesh fettering and clogging thy spirit; thy G.o.d trying thy faith, hope, and patience, which he had previously implanted, watered, and made vigorous, to stand that trial more precious than gold that perisheth, though it be tried by fire, and was made manifest to the glory of that Saviour who leaves not his people in any case. If need be, they are in heaviness, through manifold temptations; but he knows how to deliver them, having himself been tempted.

*Pero was an elderly man of color whom Mr. Andrew Smith had purchased, and made free.

Pero had previously been a freed man of Christ. He had been for some time in ill health; Mrs. Graham kindly attended on him, and read the Scriptures to him: he died by the bursting of a bloodvessel, at an hour when none of the family were with him. Mrs. Graham, in humility of spirit, reproaches herself in this exercise, for having been absent from him, without inquiring into his situation for one hour.

"Thou hadst a taste of his cup: like him thou didst endure the contradiction of sinners; like him thou didst experience the desertion of friends, even thine old mistress, whom thou lately didst esteem as a sister in Christ, and to whom thou didst look for fresh communication from and through that written word, which she could read and thou couldst not. Oh, how did she prove as a broken reed unto thee; how did she neglect thy necessity, and her own opportunity of bringing forth fruit in its season. Thou hast been no loser. The Lord pa.s.sed by the slothful servant, the unfaithful steward, who neglected to give thee thy meat in due season, and himself took her place; took thee from that household which was not worthy of thee, and led thee to those mansions of bliss which himself purchased and prepared; set thee at that table which shall never be drawn, where thou shalt feast on all the fulness of G.o.d, and drink of those pleasures which are at his right hand for evermore. No need of old mistress now; no need of any earthly vessel now, nor of that written word which thou didst so highly prize. The Word made flesh has removed the veil that shaded the glory of the G.o.d-man from thine eyes; flesh and blood could not behold it; of this he has unclothed thee--left it with us to look upon and mourn our sin. Thee he has introduced into the full vision of eternal day, where thou knowest as thou art known, and seest as thou art seen. O that full communion enjoyed between a holy soul and the perfection of holiness! O that light of life, that ocean of love, that inconceivable blessedness.

How hast thou outrun us, brother Pero; how distanced us in a moment.

Oh, could I not watch with thee one hour? Oh that I had received thy last blessing, instead of which, conscious offence, deserved rebuke, painful compunction wring my heart; and perhaps the rod of correction may be suspended, and now ready to fall on my guilty head.

"Father, O my Father, am I not still thy child--still thy adopted? Have not I an Advocate with thee, Jesus Christ the righteous, whom thou hearest always? does not the blood of Christ cleanse from all sin? yes, O yes. This is my universal remedy; thousands and ten thousands of times have I experienced its efficacy. Father, I again apply; blessed Spirit, do thine office. Wash me, and I shall be clean; purge me, and I shall be whiter than snow. I confess my sin, I acknowledge mine iniquity. Thou didst bring to me an old disciple, near and dear to his and my Saviour; thou didst require me to minister unto him all that he needed; the honor was great, the opportunity valuable. Thou didst empty thy servant for a time, thou didst hide his comfort, that I might, through thy written word, draw living waters for him, and give him to drink. O the honor; O the negligence. Thou didst send the call for thy disciple to come up to thee; in thy providence thou didst make it first known to me, that I might be instrumental in conveying to him, through the same channel, oil and tr.i.m.m.i.n.g for his lamp. Great was the honor; dignified the service; but lost to me for ever. I pa.s.sed by on the other side. Blessed, blessed Jesus; thou good Samaritan, who pouredst the oil and wine into his wounds, and tookest him, not to an inn, but to those mansions in the skies which thou, with thine own blood, purchasedst for him; sanctify, O sanctify to me this thy providence; pardon my neglect. Saviour, wash me in thy blood, and sanctify and bring good out of even my transgression. By thy grace, let it be a means of stirring me up to more watchfulness, that I may meet the opportunities afforded me in thy providence, to occupy till thou come."