"Did you have any pale ale?"

"No; we didn't have the pail."

A cement maker advertises that his cement is strong enough to mend the break of day.

Rowley Powley, pudding and pie, Kissed the girls and made them cry.

But _entre nous_, that legend of yore Only tells half; they cried for more!

"Are you the photographer?"

"Yes sir."

"Do you take children's pictures?"

"Yes sir."

"How much do you charge?"

"Three dollars a dozen."

"Well, I have to see you again. I've only got eleven."

THE MAN--Edison's a wonder, isn't he?

THE MAID--I don't think so! You can't turn his incandescent lights down low.

"When were walking-sticks first invented?"

"When?"

"When Eve presented Adam with a little Cain."

"Pat," said one Catholic friend to another, "how would you like to be buried in a Protestant graveyard?"

"Faith an' I'd die first!"

--No matter how high an awning may be suspended, it is only a shade above the street.

An Irishman, just landed, seeing an electric-motor car running for the first time, exclaimed: "Well, well, Ould Nick must be pullin' it wid a string."

DAME RUMOR ought frequently to have her named spelled without the e.

"Where are you working now?"

"I'm working down in a match factory."

"How is business?"

"Light."

An Irish doctor advertises that the deaf may hear of him at a house in Liffey street, where his blind patients may see him from ten till three.

"Where are you going, my pretty maid?"

"Out automobiling, sir," she said.

"May I go with you, my pretty maid?"

"If you can steer the old thing, you may," she said.