Anne-Lise looks up from her work. Henrik is still wearing his office clothes: white shirt and neatly pressed trousers. Theres a concerned frown on his face.

Id have to explain and I would. Id say, Its offensive, I know, but I simply could not bear having Malene next to me at the table. If I cant sit away from her, I shall have to leave. In my fantasy, the other guests become anxious and stare, but Im not bothered. In front of these people, who all think they know her, I continue: Every day at work Malene torments my wife, Anne-Lise. My wife is developing problems with stress as a direct result of Malenes behavior. I would rather sit beside a drug-addled gangster. Shes so mean and selfish. She may appear to be well educated and privileged, but she clearly couldnt care less that her behavior is making our entire family suffer.

Anne-Lise tips the chopped vegetables into the blender. You dont think Im a bad mother, do you?

No, no. Not at all! You know that. But what if Malene is really making you physically ill?

She pulls his face down close to kiss his cheek quickly before she adds the celery to the blender. Do you think you would truly do all that what you just said?

Certainly.

Something tells me that the guests would still believe that Malene is a wonderful person. And youd never be invited back.

They wouldnt take kindly to it, of course. At dinner parties youre meant to behave yourself and make polite conversation. Its at home and at work that people show their true colors. I suppose people must think she is a fine woman.

Clara has come in, complaining that Ulrik has. .h.i.t her.

Anne-Lise takes the sizzling pan off the burner. Did he hit you? Show me where it hurts and Ill blow on it.

Clara sobs, but it doesnt sound that bad.

Anne-Lise and Henrik have lived together for nearly twenty years, but waited longer than most before starting a family. Anne-Lise wanted to give Henrik s.p.a.ce and time to satisfy his youthful ambitions and capacity for hard work. If they waited, shed thought, they would both have more time to enjoy their children and their home life. Many years pa.s.sed before she realized that Henrik would never change. It was a stark choice for her: would she take on the whole burden of raising the children or resign herself to being childless? She made her decision and has coped well, feeling that she has grown as a person. Henrik is working at least as hard as she does. He has had a meteoric career as an economist with a major Danish bank. It is thanks to his income that they were able to buy a large house and turn it into the home they had always wanted.

But even if I were never invited back, they would have something to think about. Afterward, they might see Malene differently, and maybe it would occur to them to wonder about her now and then. What does go on inside her head when shes not having a good time? When shes not dressed up and smiling at us? G.o.d knows. Is she really a witch, as that man claims? Id do the same to Iben and Camilla. They all deserve it.

I had no idea that youve been dreaming about revenge on my behalf.

I havent. I only want to tell the truth. Theyre ganging up against my lovely wife.

Clara is allowed some of the berries set aside for the dessert and runs out to Ulrik again. Anne-Lise returns the frying pan to the stove.

Henrik, what can I say? You paint quite a picture!

A knock on the door. Childrens voices in the driveway.

Anne-Lise calls from the bedroom. You open it. Im not quite ready.

She throws herself on the bed. She hasnt had a minutes peace since she closed the DCIG door behind her this afternoon. She looks up at the white ceiling. Such a large, smooth surface, like a glacier. She stretches out her arms. The white bedspread follows her movement and the folds form a pattern. Its like making angels wings in the snow.

As if I were dead, she thinks. The thought is meaningless.

Ulrik rushes into the room. Her fragment of peace shatters. She gets up and helps him find a plastic lizard that he wants to show the other children. Then she walks downstairs.

Lovely to see you!

Many happy returns! Thank you for asking us!

Of course. Were so pleased you could come.

Their cheeks are glowing as they step from the cold autumn evening into the golden lamplight of the hall.

What a tempting smell!

I do hope youll like it.

The children are jostling to get their coats off in the small hall. Mette bends to hand her son two little parcels. Now, off you go to find Ulrik and Clara, and give them their presents.

The adults, still trying to deal with their own coats, keep b.u.mping into each other.

Sorry!

Dont worry. Here, have a hanger.

Oh, Henrik, h.e.l.lo! Happy birthday!

Thank you. We wanted to wait and have a big party, but when neither Lotte and Michael nor Rikke and Morten could make it for the next two weekends, we thought Happy birthday! And, for you, a small token Thank you! Thats very nice of you.

Henrik leads the way into the living room, where he offers everyone a gla.s.s of white wine.

Anne-Lise stands in front of the hall mirror. Her body is still tense. This is how she feels each morning when the alarm clock cuts into the middle of a dream. Even in her sleep, she can sense that something is wrong. Soon everything will fall apart.

But she is at home, and shes awake. She must force herself to believe that the Center isnt the only reality. Her anxiety stays with her, however, as she joins the others.

Henrik raises his gla.s.s.

Cheers and welcome!

Upstairs the alarm clock ticks away on the small gray bedside table. The dream will end, and soon she will be walking through the dark morning to face another day.

Training to become a librarian was something that had appealed to Anne-Lise partly because she had so many happy memories of going to the library as a child. Every evening, when her parents closed their grocery store, she would go to bed in her room over the shop and read long, difficult novels. Shed always dreamed of a job working with books.

After school, she used to help out in the shop. She was embarra.s.sed that their items were more expensive and of worse quality than those in the supermarkets. The customers were mostly old folk or neighbors picking up a last-minute ingredient just before supper, or her schoolmates wanting cigarettes and sweets.

Many of her school friends came from well-to-do homes, and most of them went on to study law, economics, or business, in line with the family ambitions. Anne-Lise didnt want to decide her future that way.

Not until Henriks banking career took off had she experienced wealth. Now old friends would make remarks such as It must be such fun to have a lot of money. And it was fun; but Henriks success also led to arguments, especially because Anne-Lise never cared for the lifestyle that many of Henriks colleagues considered appropriate for the wives.

The soup has turned out well. Its just the right consistency, thanks to her last-minute addition of Jerusalem artichokes. The venison steaks are perhaps a little too well done, but they still taste good with the mushroom ca.s.serole. And Henriks special selection of red wine suits the main course to perfection. The children have wolfed down fish cakes and fried potatoes at a separate table and are already off to play. Anne-Lises mother leaves the table to find out what they are up to. The adults propose toasts, drink, talk, and laugh.

Anne-Lise goes to the bathroom. She takes three cotton-wool pads from a clear plastic bag hanging on the side of the cupboard, pulls the pads apart, and rolls the woolly fluff into small, hard b.a.l.l.s.

The dessert is a Spanish-style custard layered on top of forest berries.

Mette, who is married to Henriks brother, leans forward to speak to Anne-Lise across the corner of the table. Hows work?

Fine. Im busy, but its good to know that what you do matters. This week alone weve had requests from Buenos Aires and Rome, as well as from New York and Brussels, though thats not unusual. Lots of other inquiries too. And the project leader who takes most of the calls was away lecturing on a couple of occasions, and so I was the one who Henrik said the other women dont always you know, treat you right.

He said what?

Well, that it could be hard at times.

What exactly did he say?

Please nothing special. Just that sometimes you were fed up when things didnt go well.

I see. And was that all?

Mette glances apologetically at Henrik, whos looking alarmed.

It was like this, she says, speaking more rapidly than before. I was telling Henrik about one of my superiors who is being difficult. Hes out to get me, you know. And Henrik said that its normal to have problems with people at work. At some point when we were talking about how common it is, he said that, to him, your colleagues seem extremely unpleasant. He also said that youre very, very good at your work and have always treated them as pleasantly as you can, but they dont talk to you.

It isnt that bad, you know.

Anne-Lise looks at Mette, and then at Henrik. Shes unable to organize her thoughts enough to let her sister-in-law know that she hasnt said anything wrong. Instead she stays very quiet. She smiles at Mette but can feel the corners of her mouth start to stiffen into a grimace.

She knows what has happened. It is the office atmosphere its sheer nastiness; she has dragged it home and is inflicting it on these innocent people.

She has to get away.

Henrik hurries after her and catches up with her at the top of the stairs. She pulls him into the bedroom and slams the door.

Everyone judges each other by how well they do in their jobs. And they believe its your own fault if youre doing badly. I dont need my friends to think that I cant get on with my colleagues.

Of course they dont think that.

No? Ill tell you, they do! Right now some of them are wondering if it isnt Anne-Lise who is being difficult, Anne-Lise who is trouble. Shes an oddball.

Im sure youre wrong.

And Im sure Im right. I trusted you and confided in you and now youve betrayed that trust. Why dont you tell everyone your own secrets instead?

Anne-Lise She throws herself on the bed and buries her head in her pillow, though no tears come. All I want is just one place where Im free to be myself, where Im not marked down as a lousy, boring librarian.

n.o.body ever called you anything of the sort.

If people dont respect you they start treating you like dirt.

She feels Henrik stroking the back of her head and neck.

Darling, calm down. Please forgive me for mentioning it. Ill never, ever look down on you. Neither will our children, nor our friends. That just wont ever happen.

chapter 8.

two policemen stop Anne-Lise when she steps into the lobby of the DCIG building the following morning.

Where are you headed, madam?

The policemen seem so serious, she thinks someone in the building has died. Their manner affects her.

I work in the Danish Center for Information on Genocide.

Do you have any identification?

Of course. But could you tell me what this is about?

The men speak without emotion: there have been threats against the employees of the Center.

Is anybody hurt?

Nothing like that. But youd better speak to our colleagues. Theyre in your office right now.

They let Anne-Lise pa.s.s. She hurries along to the elevator and phones Henrik on the way up, but hes not in his office.

No policemen on the landing. No guard at the door to the Center. Anne-Lise steps into the Winter Garden. Camilla is just coming out of Pauls office, and when she sees Anne-Lise her face lights up as if she were about to hug her colleague out of sheer relief.

Oh, Anne-Lise! There you are! We had no idea where you were.

I only Come in here! Were all in Pauls room.

The others are seated around Pauls conference table. Two police officers are at the head. One of them has a sensitive face that reminds her of a teacher in Claras nursery school, and the other one looks older and is presumably more senior. Iben makes room for Anne-Lise by shifting a pile of folders with data on East Timor.

We tried to get in touch with you last night. We phoned several times, but you werent in and you hadnt turned your answering machine on. And then when you didnt turn up at your usual time I was just a little delayed. Im so sorry, I had no idea.

Now Paul takes the lead. You see, we were quite worried about you, afraid that something might have happened. Listen, did you get one of the e-mails?

Anne-Lises colleagues are all staring at her with interest. Thats new.

E-mails? No. What do you mean? Anyway, I was at home last night.

You were?

Yes. It was Henriks birthday.

Anne-Lise sits down. Iben flips through her address book and realizes that she has the wrong number for Anne-Lise.

Iben turns to the policemen. Well, so far it looks like only Malene and I have received these messages.

Anne-Lise pours herself a cup of coffee while Paul explains what happened and Iben elaborates.