n.

L.

I stood up suddenly. I was trembling.

Rollo was coming towards me.

"Kate!" he cried in astonishment.

I stammered: "Oh ... it is you, then."

"I didn't expect to findjcoy here. Why are you riding that horse?"

"Oh ... of course ... I've got Fidele."

"I passed him ... and I thought ..."

"You thought the Princesse was here."

"It's the horse she usually rides."

"My bay mare is at the blacksmith's. They suggested I take Fidele."

He was laughing now, recovered from his surprise.

"What good luck to find you here!"

"I was very startled when I heard your stealthy approach."

"What did you think I was? A robber?"

"I didn't know what to think." I looked round me.

"It's very lonely up here."

"I like it," he said, looking at me intently.

"Were you sitting there?"

"Yes, sitting there ... thinking."

"Sadly?"

I paused.

"Of leaving," I said.

"I have to go. I've made up my mind."

"Please, not yet, Kate. You promised ... not yet."

"Soon. It must be soon."

"Why? You're happy here. There's work for you. I could find more manuscripts."

"I think we should leave in about a week's time. I've talked to Clare."

"I wish that woman had never come here."

"Don't say that. She is a wonderful woman. The Princesse is devoted to her already." I went on slowly: "You have spoken to her ... The Princesse ... haven't you?"

"I've tried to cajole; I've demanded; I've threatened. She is having her revenge on me at last, but I shall find a way. Never fear.

I am going to marry you, Kate. I'm going to legitimize the boy, and we are going to live here happily for the rest of our days. Tell me what you would say if I could do that? "

I did not answer and he gathered me into his arms and held me fast.

I thought: Soon this will be over and I shall never see him again. I felt that was unbearable.

"You love me, Kate. Say it."

"I don't know."

"You can't endure the thought of going away ... right out of my life. Answer truthfully."

"No," I said,"I can't."

"That's the answer to the first question. We are two strong people, Kate. We are not going to let anything stand in our way, are we?"

"Some things must."

"But you love me and I love you. It is no ordinary love, is it? It's strong. We know so much about each other. We've lived each other's lives. Those weeks in Paris ... they bound us together. I wanted you from the moment I saw you. I liked everything about you, Kate ... the way you looked, the way you worked ... the way you tried to deceive me about your father's blindness. I wanted you then. I was determined to have you. That business of Mortemer was an excuse."

"You could have suggested marriage then when you were free to do so."

"Would you have had me?"

"Not then."

"But now you would. Oh yes, you would now. Don't you see, we had to be ready. We had to know. We had to go through all we went through to learn that this thing we have for each other is not passing ... not ephemeral ... as so many loves are. This is different. This is for a lifetime ... and it is worth everything we have."

"You're so vehement."

"I have said that about you. It is what we like about each other. I know what I want and I know how to get it."

"Not always."

"Yes," he said firmly.

"Always. Kate, you must not go yet. If you do, I shall come after you."

I said nothing. We sat there side by side and I lay against him while he held me tightly.

I felt comforted by his presence. For the first time I was facing the truth. Of course I loved him. When I had hated him, my feeling for him had overwhelmed everything else. From hatred I had slipped into love and as my hatred had been strong and fierce, so was my love.

But I was going to England. I knew I had to go. Clare had made me see that.

I roused myself.

"I must get back. Clare will be coming from the castle. They will be expecting me and wondering where I am."

"Promise me one thing."

"What is that?"

"That you will not attempt to leave without first telling me."

"I promise that," I said. " " Then we stood for a while and he kissed me in a different way from that in which he had previously, gently, tenderly.

I was so filled with emotion that I could not speak.

Then he helped me to mount Fidele and we rode back to the castle.

"Kendal," I said, 'we are going to England. "

He stared at me and I saw his mouth harden. He looked remarkably like his father in that moment.

I went on: "I know you hate leaving the castle, but we have to go. You see, this is not our home."

"It is our home," he said angrily.

"No.. no... We are here because there was nowhere else for us to go after we left Paris. But you can't stay in other people's houses for ever."

"It's my father's house. He wants us here."

"Kendal," I said, 'you are not grown up yet. You must listen to what I say and know that it is for the best. for you and for all of us. "

"It's not the best. It's not."

He was looking at me as he never had before in the whole of his life.

There had always been a strong bond of affection between us and I could not bear to see that look in his eyes. It was almost as though he hated me.

Could Rollo mean so much to him? He really did love the castle, I knew. True, it was a storehouse of wonderment to an imaginative child; but it was more than that. He had made up his mind that he belonged here and Rollo had done his best to make him feel that.

He robbed me of my virtue, I thought. He turned my life upside down; and now he would rob me of my child.

I felt angry suddenly. I said: "I see it is no use talking to you."

"No, it isn't," said Kendal.

"I don't want to go to England. I want to stay at home." Then I saw that stubborn look in his face again, which reminded me so much of his father. I thought: He is going to be just like him when he grows up, and my fear for him was mingled with my pride.

I said: "We will talk of it later."

I did not feel I could bear to say any more.

It was late that afternoon. Jeanne was cooking which she liked to do -and Clare had just come in. She had been to the castle.

"Madame la Baronne is in a defiant mood today," she said.

"I don't like the way things are going up there." She looked at me anxiously.

"This time next week we shall be setting out for home," I reminded her.

"It's best," she said compassionately. I thought it was wonderful, the way she understood.

"Where is Kendal?" she went on.

"He went off with William playing that hunting game they are so fond of, I believe. I saw them go off. He was carrying something. It looked like a bag of some sort."

"Laying his clues, I suppose. I am so pleased that he and William have become friends. It is such a good thing for that poor little boy. I'm afraid he didn't have much of a life before."

"No. I wonder what he will do when we have gone."

Clare knitted her brows.

"Poor little thing! He will revert to what he was before."

"He has changed a good deal since we came."

"I can't bear to think of him. Has Kendal told him we are going?"

"No. Kendal won't accept that we are. He became so angry ... so unlike himself... when I talked of it."

"He'll be all right. Children adjust very quickly."

"He seems to have become obsessed by the place ... and the Baron."

"A pity. It'll all come right in the end."

"You believe in happy endings, Clare."

"I believe that we can do a great deal towards bringing them about," she said quietly.

"I've always thought that."

"You're a great comfort."