Now a dastardly notion is gittin' about Thet our bladder is bust an' the gas oozin' out, An' onless we can mennage in some way to stop it, Why, the thing's a gone c.o.o.n, an' we might ez wal drop it.

Brag works wal at fust, but it ain't jes' the thing For a stiddy inves'ment the shiners to bring, An' votin' we're prosp'rous a hundred times over Wun't change bein' starved into livin' in clover.

Mana.s.sas done sunthin' tow'rds drawin' the wool O'er the green, antislavery eyes o' John Bull: 140 Oh, _warn't_ it a G.o.dsend, jes' when sech tight fixes Wuz crowdin' us mourners, to throw double-sixes!

I wuz tempted to think, an' it wuzn't no wonder, Ther' wuz really a Providence,--over or under,-- When, all packed for Nashville, I fust ascertained From the papers up North wut a victory we'd gained.

'twuz the time for diffusin' correc' views abroad Of our union an' strength an' relyin' on G.o.d; An', fact, when I'd gut thru my fust big surprise, I much ez half b'lieved in my own tallest lies, 150 An' conveyed the idee thet the whole Southun popperlace Wuz Spartans all on the keen jump for Thermopperlies, Thet set on the Lincolnites' bombs till they bust, An' fight for the priv'lege o' dyin' the fust; But Roanoke, Bufort, Millspring, an' the rest Of our recent starn-foremost successes out West, Hain't left us a foot for our swellin' to stand on,-- We've showed _too_ much o' wut Buregard calls _abandon_, For all our Thermopperlies (an' it's a marcy We hain't hed no more) hev ben clean vicy-varsy, 160 An' wut Spartans wuz lef' when the battle wuz done Wuz them thet wuz too unambitious to run.

Oh, ef we hed on'y jes' gut Reecognition, Things now would ha' ben in a different position!

You'd ha' hed all you wanted: the paper blockade Smashed up into toothpicks; unlimited trade In the one thing thet's needfle, till n.i.g.g.e.rs, I swow, Hed ben thicker'n provisional shin-plasters now; Quinine by the ton 'ginst the shakes when they seize ye; Nice paper to coin into C.S.A. specie; 170 The voice of the driver'd be heerd in our land, An' the univa.r.s.e scringe, ef we lifted our hand: Wouldn't _thet_ be some like a fulfillin' the prophecies, With all the fus' fem'lies in all the fust offices?

'twuz a beautiful dream, an' all sorrer is idle,-- But _ef_ Lincoln _would_ ha' hanged Mason an' Slidell!

For wouldn't the Yankees hev found they'd ketched Tartars, Ef they'd raised two sech critters as them into martyrs?

Mason _wuz_ F.F.V., though a cheap card to win on, But t'other was jes' New York trash to begin on; 180 They ain't o' no good in European pellices, But think wut a help they'd ha' ben on their gallowses!

They'd ha' felt they wuz truly fulfillin' their mission, An' oh, how dog-cheap we'd ha' gut Reecognition!

But somehow another, wutever we've tried, Though the the'ry's fust-rate, the facs _wun't_ coincide: Facs are contrary 'z mules, an' ez hard in the mouth, An' they allus hev showed a mean spite to the South.

Sech bein' the case, we hed best look about For some kin' o' way to slip _our_ necks out: 190 Le's vote our las' dollar, ef one can be found, (An', at any rate, votin' it hez a good sound,)-- Le''s swear thet to arms all our people is flyin', (The critters can't read, an' wun't know how we're lyin',)-- Thet Toombs is advancin' to sack Cincinnater, With a rovin' commission to pillage an' slahter,-- Thet we've throwed to the winds all regard for wut's lawfle, An' gone in for sunthin' promiscu'sly awfle.

Ye see, hitherto, it's our own knaves an' fools Thet we've used, (those for whetstones, an' t'others ez tools,) 200 An' now our las' chance is in puttin' to test The same kin' o' cattle up North an' out West,-- Your Belmonts, Vallandighams, Woodses, an' sech, Poor shotes thet ye couldn't persuade us to tech, Not in ornery times, though we're willin' to feed 'em With a nod now an' then, when we happen to need 'em; Why, for my part, I'd ruther shake hands with a n.i.g.g.e.r Than with cusses that load an' don't darst dror a trigger; They're the wust wooden nutmegs the Yankees perdooce, Shaky everywheres else, an' jes' sound on the goose; 210 They ain't wuth a cuss, an' I set nothin' by 'em, But we're in sech a fix thet I s'pose we mus' try 'em.

I--But, Gennlemen, here's a despatch jes' come in Which shows thet the tide's begun turnin' agin',-- Gret Cornfedrit success! C'lumbus eevacooated!

I mus' run down an' hev the thing properly stated, An' show wut a triumph it is, an' how lucky To fin'lly git red o' thet cussed Kentucky,-- An' how, sence Fort Donelson, winnin' the day Consists in triumphantly gittin' away. 220

No. V

SPEECH OF HONOURABLE PRESERVED DOE IN SECRET CAUCUS

TO THE EDITORS OF THE ATLANTIC MONTHLY

JAALAM, 12th April, 1862.

GENTLEMEN,--As I cannot but hope that the ultimate, if not speedy, success of the national arms is now sufficiently ascertained, sure as I am of the righteousness of our cause and its consequent claim on the blessing of G.o.d, (for I would not show a faith inferior to that of the Pagan historian with his _Facile evenit quod Dis cordi est_,) it seems to me a suitable occasion to withdraw our minds a moment from the confusing din of battle to objects of peaceful and permanent interest.

Let us not neglect the monuments of preterite history because what shall be history is so diligently making under our eyes. _Cras ingens iterabimus aequor;_ to-morrow will be time enough for that stormy sea; to-day let me engage the attention of your readers with the Runick inscription to whose fortunate discovery I have heretofore alluded. Well may we say with the poet, _Multa renasc.u.n.tur quae jam cecidere_. And I would premise, that, although I can no longer resist the evidence of my own senses from the stone before me to the ante-Columbian discovery of this continent by the Northmen, _gens inclytissima_, as they are called in a Palermitan inscription, written fortunately in a less debatable character than that which I am about to decipher, yet I would by no means be understood as wishing to vilipend the merits of the great Genoese, whose name will never be forgotten so long as the inspiring strains of 'Hail Columbia' shall continue to be heard. Though he must be stripped also of whatever praise may belong to the experiment of the egg, which I find proverbially attributed by Castilian authors to a certain Juanito or Jack, (perhaps an offshoot of our giant-killing mythus,) his name will still remain one of the most ill.u.s.trious of modern times. But the impartial historian owes a duty likewise to obscure merit, and my solicitude to render a tardy justice is perhaps quickened by my having known those who, had their own field of labour been less secluded, might have found a readier acceptance with the reading publick, I could give an example, but I forbear: _forsitan nostris ex ossibus oritur ultor_.

Touching Runick inscriptions, I find that they may lie cla.s.sed under three general heads; 1. Those which are understood by the Danish Royal Society of Northern Antiquaries, and Professor Rafn, their Secretary; 2. Those which are comprehensible only by Mr. Rafn; and 3. Those which neither the Society, Mr. Rafn, nor anybody else can be said in any definite sense to understand, and which accordingly offer peculiar temptations to enucleating sagacity. These last are naturally deemed the most valuable by intelligent antiquaries, and to this cla.s.s the stone now in my possession fortunately belongs. Such give a picturesque variety to ancient events, because susceptible oftentimes of as many interpretations as there are individual archaeologists; and since facts are only the pulp in which the Idea or event-seed is softly imbedded till it ripen, it is of little consequence what colour or flavour we attribute to them, provided it be agreeable. Availing myself of the obliging a.s.sistance of Mr. Arphaxad Bowers, an ingenious photographick artist, whose house-on-wheels has now stood for three years on our Meeting-House Green, with the somewhat contradictory inscription,--'_our motto is onward_,'--I have sent accurate copies of my treasure to many learned men and societies, both native and European. I may hereafter communicate their different and (_me judice_) equally erroneous solutions. I solicit also, Messrs. Editors, your own acceptance of the copy herewith enclosed. I need only premise further, that the stone itself is a goodly block of metamorphick sandstone, and that the Runes resemble very nearly the ornithichnites or fossil bird-tracks of Dr.

Hitchc.o.c.k, but with less regularity or apparent design than is displayed by those remarkable geological monuments. These are rather the _non bene junctarum discordia semina rerum_. Resolved to leave no door open to cavil, I first of all attempted the elucidation of this remarkable example of lithick literature by the ordinary modes, but with no adequate return for my labour. I then considered myself amply justified in resorting to that heroick treatment the felicity of which, as applied by the great Bentley to Milton, had long ago enlisted my admiration.

Indeed, I had already made up my mind, that, in case good fortune should throw any such invaluable record in my way, I would proceed with it in the following simple and satisfactory method. Alter a cursory examination, merely sufficing for an approximative estimate of its length, I would write down a hypothetical inscription based upon antecedent probabilities, and then proceed to extract from the characters engraven on the stone a meaning as nearly as possible conformed to this _a priori_ product of my own ingenuity. The result more than justified my hopes, inasmuch as the two inscriptions were made without any great violence to tally in all essential particulars. I then proceeded, not without some anxiety, to my second test, which was, to read the Runick letters diagonally, and again with the same success.

With an excitement pardonable under the circ.u.mstances, yet tempered with thankful humility, I now applied my last and severest trial, my _experimentum crucis_. I turned the stone, now doubly precious in my eyes, with scrupulous exactness upside down. The physical exertion so far displaced my spectacles as to derange for a moment the focus of vision. I confess that it was with some tremulousness that I readjusted them upon my nose, and prepared my mind to bear with calmness any disappointment that might ensue. But, _O albo dies notanda lapillo!_ what was my delight to find that the change of position had effected none in the sense of the writing, even by so much as a single letter! I was now, and justly, as I think, satisfied of the conscientious exactness of my interpretation. It is as follows:

HERE BJARNA GRIMOLFSSON FIRST DRANK CLOUD-BROTHER THROUGH CHILD-OF-LAND-AND-WATER:

that is, drew smoke through a reed stem. In other words, we have here a record of the first smoking of the herb _Nicotiana Tabac.u.m_ by an European on this continent. The probable results of this discovery are so vast as to baffle conjecture. If it be objected, that the smoking of a pipe would hardly justify the setting up of a memorial stone, I answer, that even now the Moquis Indian, ere he takes his first whiff, bows reverently toward the four quarters of the sky in succession, and that the loftiest monuments have been read to perpetuate fame, which is the dream of the shadow of smoke. The _Saga_, it will be remembered, leaves this Bjarna to a fate something like that of Sir Humphrey Gilbert, on board a sinking ship in the 'wormy sea,' having generously given up his place in the boat to a certain Icelander. It is doubly pleasant, therefore, to meet with this proof that the brave old man arrived safely in Vinland, and that his declining years were cheered by the respectful attentions of the dusky denizens of our then uninvaded forest. Most of all was I gratified, however, in thus linking forever the name of my native town with one of the most momentous occurrences of modern times. Hitherto Jalaam, though in soil, climate, and geographical position as highly qualified to be the theatre of remarkable historical incidents as any spot on the earth's surface, has been, if I may say it without seeming to question the wisdom of Providence, almost maliciously neglected, as it might appear, by occurrences of world-wide interest in want of a situation. And in matters of this nature it must be confessed that adequate events are as necessary as the _vates sacer_ to record them. Jaalam stood always modestly ready, but circ.u.mstances made no fitting response to her generous intentions. Now, however, she a.s.sumes her place on the historick roll. I have hitherto been a zealous opponent of the Circean herb, but I shall now reexamine the question without bias.

I am aware that the Rev. Jonas Tutchel, in a recent communication to the 'Bogus Four Corners Weekly Meridian,' has endeavored to show that this is the sepulchral inscription of Thorwald Eriksson, who, as is well-known, was slain in Vinland by the natives. But I think he has been misled by a preconceived theory, and cannot but feel that he has thus made an ungracious return for my allowing him to inspect the stone with the aid of my own gla.s.ses (he having by accident left his at home) and in my own study. The heathen ancients might have instructed this Christian minister in the rites of hospitality; but much is to be pardoned to the spirit of self-love. He must indeed be ingenious who can make out the words _her hvilir_ from any characters in the inscription in question, which, whatever else it may be, is certainly not mortuary.

And even should the reverend gentleman succeed in persuading some fantastical wits of the soundness of his views, I do not see what useful end he will have gained. For if the English Courts of Law hold the testimony of gravestones from the burial-grounds of Protestant dissenters to be questionable, even where it is essential in proving a descent, I cannot conceive that the epitaphial a.s.sertions of heathens should be esteemed of more authority by any man of orthodox sentiments.

At this moment, happening to cast my eyes upon the stone, whose characters a transverse light from my southern window brings out with singular distinctness, another interpretation has occurred to me, promising even more interesting results. I hasten to close my letter in order to follow at once the clue thus providentially suggested.

I inclose, as usual, a contribution from Mr. Biglow, and remain,

Gentlemen, with esteem and respect,

Your Obedient Humble Servant,

HOMER WILBUR, A.M.

I thank ye, my frien's, for the warmth o' your greetin': Ther' 's few airthly blessin's but wut's vain an' fleetin'; But ef ther' is one thet hain't _no_ cracks an' flaws, An' is wuth goin' in for, it's pop'lar applause; It sends up the sperits ez lively ez rockets, An' I feel it--wal, down to the eend o' my pockets.

Jes' lovin' the people is Canaan in view, But it's Canaan paid quarterly t' hev 'em love you; It's a blessin' thet's breakin' out ollus in fresh spots; It's a-follerin' Moses 'thout losin' the flesh-pots. 10 But, Gennlemen, 'scuse me, I ain't sech a raw cus Ez to go luggin' ellerkence into a caucus,-- Thet is, into one where the call comprehen's Nut the People in person, but on'y their frien's; I'm so kin' o' used to convincin' the ma.s.ses Of th' edvantage o' bein' self-governin' a.s.ses, I forgut thet _we_'re all o' the sort thet pull wires An' arrange for the public their wants an' desires, An' thet wut we hed met for wuz jes' to agree Wut the People's opinions in futur' should be. 20

Now, to come to the nub, we've ben all disappinted, An' our leadin' idees are a kind o' disjinted, Though, fur ez the nateral man could discern, Things ough' to ha' took most an oppersite turn.

But The'ry is jes' like a train on the rail, Thet, weather or no, puts her thru without fail, While Fac' 's the ole stage thet gits sloughed in the ruts, An' hez to allow for your darned efs an' buts, An' so, nut intendin' no pers'nal reflections, They don't--don't nut allus, thet is,--make connections: 30 Sometimes, when it really doos seem thet they'd oughter Combine jest ez kindly ez new rum an' water, Both'll be jest ez sot in their ways ez a bagnet, Ez otherwise-minded ez th' eends of a magnet, An' folks like you 'n' me, thet ain't ept to be sold, Git somehow or 'nother left out in the cold.

I expected 'fore this, 'thout no gret of a row, Jeff D. would ha' ben where A. Lincoln is now, With Taney to say 'twuz all legle an' fair, An' a jury o' Deemocrats ready to swear 40 Thet the ingin o' State gut throwed into the ditch By the fault o' the North in misplacin' the switch.

Things wuz ripenin' fust-rate with Buchanan to nuss 'em; But the People--they wouldn't be Mexicans, cuss 'em!

Ain't the safeguards o' freedom upsot, 'z you may say, Ef the right o' rev'lution is took clean away?

An' doosn't the right primy-fashy include The bein' ent.i.tled to nut be subdued?

The fect is, we'd gone for the Union so strong, When Union meant South ollus right an' North wrong, 50 Thet the People gut fooled into thinkin' it might Worry on middlin' wal with the North in the right.

We might ha' ben now jest ez prosp'rous ez France, Where p'litikle enterprise hez a fair chance, An' the People is heppy an' proud et this hour, Long ez they hev the votes, to let Nap hey the power; But _our_ folks they went an' believed wut we'd told 'em An', the flag once insulted, no mortle could hold 'em.

'Twuz pervokin' jest when we wuz cert'in to win,-- And I, for one, wun't trust the ma.s.ses agin: 60 For a People thet knows much ain't fit to be free In the self-c.o.c.kin', back-action style o' J.D.

I can't believe now but wut half on 't is lies; For who'd thought the North wuz agoin' to rise, Or take the pervokin'est kin' of a stump, 'thout 'twuz sunthin' ez pressin' ez Gabr'el's las' trump?

Or who'd ha' supposed, arter _sech_ swell an' bl.u.s.ter 'bout the lick-ary-ten-on-ye fighters they'd muster, Raised by hand on briled lightnin', ez op'lent 'z you please In a primitive furrest ol femmily-trees,-- 70 Who'd ha' thought thet them Southuners ever 'ud show Starns with pedigrees to 'em like theirn to the foe, Or, when the vamosin' come, ever to find Nat'ral masters in front an' mean white folks behind?

By ginger, ef I'd ha' known half I know now, When I wuz to Congress, I wouldn't, I swow, Hey let 'em cair on so high-minded an' sarsy, 'thout _some_ show o' wut you may call vicy-varsy.

To be sure, we wuz under a contrac' jes' then To be dreffle forbearin' towards Southun men; 80 We hed to go sheers in preservin' the bellance; An' ez they seemed to feel they wuz wastin' their tellents 'thout some un to kick, 'twarn't more 'n proper, you know, Each should furnish his part; an' sence they found the toe, An' we wuzn't cherubs--wal, we found the buffer, For fear thet the Compromise System should suffer.

I wun't say the plan hedn't onpleasant featurs,-- For men are perverse an' onreasonin' creaturs, An' forgit thet in this life 'tain't likely to heppen Their own privit fancy should ollus be cappen,-- 90 But it worked jest ez smooth ez the key of a safe, An' the gret Union bearin's played free from all chafe.

They warn't hard to suit, ef they hed their own way, An' we (thet is, some on us) made the thing pay: 'twuz a fair give-an'-take out of Uncle Sam's heap; Ef they took wut warn't theirn, wut we give come ez cheap; The elect gut the offices down to tide-waiter, The people took skinnin' ez mild ez a tater.

Seemed to choose who they wanted tu, footed the bills, An' felt kind o' 'z though they wuz havin' their wills, 100 Which kep' 'em ez harmless an' cherfle ez crickets, While all we invested wuz names on the tickets; Wal, ther' 's nothin', for folks fond o' lib'ral consumption Free o' charge, like democ'acy tempered with gumption!

Now warn't thet a system wuth pains in presarvin', Where the people found jints an' their frien's done the carvin',-- Where the many done all o' their thinkin' by proxy, An' were proud on 't ez long ez 'twuz christened Democ'cy,-- Where the few let us sap all o' Freedom's foundations, Ef you call it reformin' with prudence an' patience, 110 An' were willin' Jeff's snake-egg should hetch with the rest, Ef you writ 'Const.i.tootional' over the nest?

But it's all out o' kilter, ('twuz too good to last,) An' all jes' by J.D.'s perceedin' too fast; Ef he'd on'y hung on for a month or two more, We'd ha' gut things fixed nicer 'n they hed ben before: Afore he drawed off an' lef all in confusion, We wuz safely entrenched in the ole Const.i.tootion, With an outlyin', heavy-gun, case-mated fort To rake all a.s.sailants,--I mean th' S.J. Court. 120 Now I never'll acknowledge (nut ef you should skin me) 'twuz wise to abandon sech works to the in'my, An' let him fin' out thet wut scared him so long, Our whole line of argyments, lookin' so strong, All our Scriptur an' law, every the'ry an' fac', Wuz Quaker-guns daubed with Pro-slavery black.

Why, ef the Republicans ever should git Andy Johnson or some one to lend 'em the wit An' the s.p.u.n.k jes' to mount Const.i.tootion an' Court With Columbiad guns, your real ekle-rights sort, 130 Or drill out the spike from the ole Declaration Thet can kerry a solid shot clearn roun' creation, We'd better take maysures for shettin' up shop, An' put off our stock by a vendoo or swop.

But they wun't never dare tu; you'll see 'em in Edom 'fore they ventur' to go where their doctrines 'ud lead 'em: They've ben takin' our princerples up ez we dropt 'em, An' thought it wuz terrible 'cute to adopt 'em; But they'll fin' out 'fore long thet their hope's ben deceivin' 'em, An' thet princerples ain't o' no good, ef you b'lieve in 'em; It makes 'em tu stiff for a party to use, 141 Where they'd ough' to be easy 'z an ole pair o' shoes.

If _we_ say 'n our pletform thet all men are brothers, We don't mean thet some folks ain't more so 'n some others; An' it's wal understood thet we make a selection, An' thet brotherhood kin' o' subsides arter 'lection.

The fust thing for sound politicians to larn is, Thet Truth, to dror kindly in all sorts o' harness, Mus' be kep' in the abstract,--for, come to apply it, You're ept to hurt some folks's interists by it. 150 Wal, these 'ere Republicans (some on 'em) ects Ez though gineral mexims 'ud suit speshle facts; An' there's where we'll nick 'em, there's where they'll be lost; For applyin' your princerple's wut makes it cost, An' folks don't want Fourth o' July t' interfere With the business-consarns o' the rest o' the year, No more 'n they want Sunday to pry an' to peek Into wut they are doin' the rest o' the week.

A ginooine statesman should be on his guard, Ef he _must_ hev beliefs, nut to b'lieve 'em tu hard; 160 For, ez sure ez he does, he'll be blartin' 'em out 'thout regardin' the natur' o' man more 'n a spout, Nor it don't ask much gumption to pick out a flaw In a party whose leaders are loose in the jaw: An' so in our own case I ventur' to hint Thet we'd better nut air our perceedin's in print, Nor pa.s.s resserlootions ez long ez your arm Thet may, ez things heppen to turn, du us harm; For when you've done all your real meanin' to smother, The darned things'll up an' mean sunthin' or 'nother. 170 Jeff'son prob'ly meant wal with his 'born free an' ekle,'

But it's turned out a real crooked stick in the sekle; It's taken full eighty-odd year--don't you see?-- From the pop'lar belief to root out thet idee, An', arter all, suckers on 't keep buddin' forth In the nat'lly onprincipled mind o' the North.

No, never say nothin' without you're compelled tu, An' then don't say nothin' thet you can be held tu, Nor don't leave no friction-idees layin' loose For the ign'ant to put to incend'ary use. 180

You know I'm a feller thet keeps a skinned eye On the leetle events thet go skurryin' by, Coz it's of'ner by them than by gret ones you'll see Wut the p'litickle weather is likely to be.

Now I don't think the South's more 'n begun to be licked, But I _du_ think, ez Jeff says, the wind-bag's gut p.r.i.c.ked; It'll blow for a spell an' keep puffin' an' wheezin', The tighter our army an' navy keep, squeezin'-- For they can't help spread-eaglein' long 'z ther's a mouth To blow Enfield's Speaker thru lef' at the South. 190 But it's high time for us to be settin' our faces Towards reconstructin' the national basis, With an eye to beginnin' agin on the jolly ticks We used to chalk up 'hind the back-door o' politics; An' the fus' thing's to save wut of Slav'ry ther's lef'

Arter this (I mus' call it) imprudence o' Jeff: For a real good Abuse, with its roots fur an' wide, Is the kin' o' thing _I_ like to hev on my side; A Scriptur' name makes it ez sweet ez a rose, An' it's tougher the older an' uglier it grows-- 200 (I ain't speakin' now o' the righteousness of it, But the p'litickle purchase it gives an' the profit).

Things look pooty squally, it must be allowed, An' I don't see much signs of a bow in the cloud: Ther's too many Deemocrats--leaders wut's wuss-- Thet go for the Union 'thout carin' a cuss Ef it helps ary party thet ever wuz heard on, So our eagle ain't made a split Austrian bird on.

But ther's still some consarvative signs to be found Thet shows the gret heart o' the People is sound: 210 (Excuse me for usin' a stump-phrase agin, But, once in the way on 't, they _will_ stick like sin:) There's Phillips, for instance, hez jes' ketched a Tartar In the Law-'n'-Order Party of ole Cincinnater; An' the Compromise System ain't gone out o' reach, Long 'z you keep the right limits on freedom o' speech.

'Twarn't none too late, neither, to put on the gag, For he's dangerous now he goes in for the flag.

Nut thet I altogether approve o' bad eggs, They're mos' gin'ly argymunt on its las' legs,-- 220 An' their logic is ept to be tu indiscriminate, Nor don't ollus wait the right objecs to 'liminate; But there is a variety on 'em, you'll find, Jest ez usefle an' more, besides bein' refined,-- I mean o' the sort thet are laid by the dictionary, Sech ez sophisms an' cant, thet'll kerry conviction ary Way thet you want to the right cla.s.s o' men, An' are staler than all 't ever come from a hen: 'Disunion' done wal till our resh Southun friends Took the savor all out on 't for national ends; 230 But I guess 'Abolition' 'll work a spell yit, When the war's done, an' so will 'Forgive-an'-forgit.'

Times mus' be pooty thoroughly out o' all jint, Ef we can't make a good const.i.tootional pint; An' the good time'll come to be grindin' our exes, When the war goes to seed in the nettle o' texes: Ef Jon'than don't squirm, with sech helps to a.s.sist him, I give up my faith in the free-suffrage system; Democ'cy wun't be nut a mite interestin', Nor p'litikle capital much wuth investin'; 240 An' my notion is, to keep dark an' lay low Till we see the right minute to put in our blow.--