ELIZABETH. But you'll have to marry and settle down one of these days, you know.

TEDDIE. I want to, but it's not a thing you can do lightly.

ELIZABETH. I don't know why there more than elsewhere.

TEDDIE. In England if people don't get on they go their own ways and jog along after a fashion. In a place like that you're thrown a great deal on your own resources.

ELIZABETH. Of course.

TEDDIE. Lots of girls come out because they think they're going to have a good time. But if they're empty-headed, then they're just faced with their own emptiness and they're done. If their husbands can afford it they go home and settle down as gra.s.s-widows.

ELIZABETH. I've met them. They seem to find it a very pleasant occupation.

TEDDIE. It's rotten for their husbands, though.

ELIZABETH. And if the husbands can't afford it?

TEDDIE. Oh, then they tipple.

ELIZABETH. It's not a very alluring prospect.

TEDDIE. But if the woman's the right sort she wouldn't exchange it for any life in the world. When all's said and done it's we who've made the Empire.

ELIZABETH. What sort is the right sort?

TEDDIE. A woman of courage and endurance and sincerity. Of course, it's hopeless unless she's in love with her husband.

[_He is looking at her earnestly and she, raising her eyes, gives him a long look. There is silence between them._

TEDDIE. My house stands on the side of a hill, and the cocoanut trees wind down to the sh.o.r.e. Azaleas grow in my garden, and camellias, and all sorts of ripping flowers. And in front of me is the winding coast line, and then the blue sea.

[_A pause._

Do you know that I'm awfully in love with you?

ELIZABETH. [_Gravely._] I wasn't quite sure. I wondered.

TEDDIE. And you?

[_She nods slowly._

I've never kissed you.

ELIZABETH. I don't want you to.

[_They look at one another steadily. They are both grave. ARNOLD comes in hurriedly._

ARNOLD. They're coming, Elizabeth.

ELIZABETH. [_As though returning from a distant world._] Who?

ARNOLD. [_Impatiently._] My dear! My mother, of course. The car is just coming up the drive.

TEDDIE. Would you like me to clear out?

ARNOLD. No, no! For goodness' sake stay.

ELIZABETH. We'd better go and meet them, Arnold.

ARNOLD. No, no; I think they'd much better be shown in. I feel simply sick with nervousness.

[_ANNA comes in from the garden._

ANNA. Your guests have arrived.

ELIZABETH. Yes, I know.

ARNOLD. I've given orders that luncheon should be served at once.

ELIZABETH. Why? It's not half-past one already, is it?

ARNOLD. I thought it would help. When you don't know exactly what to say you can always eat.

[_The BUTLER comes in and announces._

BUTLER. Lady Catherine Champion-Cheney! Lord Porteous!

[_LADY KITTY comes in followed by PORTEOUS, and the BUTLER goes out.

LADY KITTY is a gay little lady, with dyed red hair and painted cheeks. She is somewhat outrageously dressed. She never forgets that she has been a pretty woman and she still behaves as if she were twenty-five. LORD PORTEOUS is a very bald, elderly gentleman in loose, rather eccentric clothes. He is snappy and gruff. This is not at all the couple that ELIZABETH expected, and for a moment she stares at them with round, startled eyes. LADY KITTY goes up to her with outstretched hands._

LADY KITTY. Elizabeth! Elizabeth! [_She kisses her effusively._] What an adorable creature! [_Turning to PORTEOUS._] Hughie, isn't she adorable?

PORTEOUS. [_With a grunt._] Ugh!

[_ELIZABETH, smiling now, turns to him and gives him her hand._

ELIZABETH. How d'you do?

PORTEOUS. d.a.m.nable road you've got down here. How d'you do, my dear?

Why d'you have such d.a.m.nable roads in England?

[_LADY KITTY'S eyes fall on TEDDIE and she goes up to him with her arms thrown back, prepared to throw them round him._

LADY KITTY. My boy, my boy! I should have known you anywhere!

ELIZABETH. [_Hastily._] That's Arnold.

LADY KITTY. [_Without a moment's hesitation._] The image of his father! I should have known him anywhere! [_She throws her arms round his neck._] My boy, my boy!