Chapter 12.

To me Christmas was just like any normal day on the calendar. Growing up I never really got to experience Christmas unless it was watching Christmas movies on television. I loved the simplicity of Christmas and how it used to be. It used to be just about spending time with your loved ones and opening a few gifts. However, over the years it's become something more commercial.

In my twenty years I had never bought a gift for someone because until I came to school it was just Cynthia and I would never buy anything for her. I remember when I was little I always heard the other kids in my cla.s.s talking about how amazing Christmas was. They got brand new bikes, Barbie dolls, and games. I remember always hearing my cla.s.smates complaining about how they got clothes, but something that those kids took for granted I would have killed for. Until I was old enough to get a job my wardrobe consisted of shoes with holes in them, jeans, and shirts that were too small and donated winter coats.

Even if Cynthia could've afforded better I was a nuisance to her and I didn't matter. Looking back, I realize how sad my childhood was and if I ever do have kids I won't let them feel that way. I plan to let them know how much I love them each and every day.

For as long as I live I will never forget this one Christmas. I was maybe five years old.

Walking out into the living room on Christmas morning I feel my heart beating rapidly. I can't wait to see what mommy and Santa got me for Christmas this year. I really want that new Barbie doll with the pretty pink dress and glitter heels. Or maybe the new tennis shoes with the wheels on the bottom.

I start to tiptoe down the stairs because mommy wasn't feeling good last night and I don't want to give her a headache. Especially on Christmas. After all, it's the best day of the year. I do hope she's feeling better today though. As I walk through the kitchen I hear snoring coming from the living room. I feel bad that mommy fell asleep on the couch again. She does that a lot when she drinks her juice. I want some of the juice but I can only have apple juice.

Quietly walking into the living room I see there is nothing here. I wonder if maybe mommy put them somewhere else? But there is always Santa. What if he didn't know how to get in here because we don't have a chimmey, or whatever you call it. I start to walk over to mommy to ask her if she is okay but I see her begin to wake up.

I'm standing in the middle of the living room holding my hands as I patiently wait for her to yawn and stretch. I begin to open my mouth to say something but mommy lifts the juice bottle from the floor and takes a big gulp of it. Then she takes out one of her candy cigarettes and starts playing with it.

I don't understand why she likes them so much because they smell really gross. I smell like it all the time and the kids at school make fun of me. They say I'm dirty and I don't know how to get clean. They all say I have cooties, but what I don't get is even the girls say it. I thought only boys had cooties? Not me.

Once mommy takes another huge sip of her juice she looks over at me and yells, "WELL WHAT DO YOU WANT?"

I jump back because I don't know why she's angry with me. I want to cry but maybe she still isn't feeling good. Taking in a deep breath I ask, "Are you okay, mommy?" Sometimes she looks at me like she doesn't like me. I don't know what I do so wrong. Maybe it's because I accidentally left her Christmas card and present at school. I made her a card with all types of glitter. I even drew a rainbow on the inside. It was hard but mommy is worth it.

Her present was a story I wrote. I wrote about a princess and how her mommy rules the kingdom. I wrote about how pretty the mommy is and how I want the mommy to find a daddy. I don't know my daddy, but at least I have my mommy. She's not perfect, but neither am I. Or at least that's what mommy says.

Screaming at me again mommy asks, "WHAT DO YOU WANT?" I feel tears coming but I try to blink them away and say, "It's Christmas mommy." She takes another sip of her juice and starts laughing. I think maybe mommy is playing a joke on me and she hid the presents from me. Kind of like buried treasure and we're the pirates. I start to laugh along with mommy but she asks, "What are you laughing at?"

Still giggling, I say, "You hid the presents." She starts laughing again and puts the candy cigarette in her mouth and says, "Nope. I just didn't get you anything." I feel wetness on my face and try to wipe them away but mommy starts laughing again and says, "All you do is cry. You're a bad child and that's why I didn't get you anything. h.e.l.l, you didn't even get me anything, you selfish brat."

I hate it when she calls me a brat. I know I'm not supposed to say the word "hate" because it's a bad word but I don't care. I just...I really don't like it.

I stand in the same position and just start crying. I mean, I know I don't listen all of the time and I know that I only get okay grades in school. I'll admit that sometimes I read my books way too much but I don't think I'm as bad as mommy says. I bring my hands up to my face and try to wipe away the tears but I hear mommy laugh again. Taking my hands away from my face I hear her say, "You're such a d.a.m.n cry baby." Lifting the juice to her lips she takes another sip and says, "It's only fair. You didn't get me anything so I didn't get you anything."

After taking a deep breath I say, "I made you a card and I wrote you a story but I accidentally left it at school, mommy." I begin to walk over to her because I want to give her a hug. I think maybe she's just not feeling well. Maybe she has the flu or something, but as I walk over to her and try to wrap my arms around her she pushes me away. It's enough for me to fall on my b.u.t.t.

She looks down at me and says, "I don't want a stupid card or a story brat. You know what I want?"

I shake my head and begin to stand up on my feet again. Taking another gulp of her juice she says, "Of course you don't know what I want. I want you out of here. You were a mistake and I can't believe I'm stuck with you. I should have gotten an abortion when I had the chance. Now when I get my Christmas gift you can have yours. Does that sound like a deal?"

I don't know what an abortion is but I can tell mommy is really mad at me. Sometimes I think she hates me and we all know that hate is a bad word. Quickly getting up on my feet I run out of the living room and hear mommy laughing really hard. Running up the stairs I curl up under my covers and I make a promise to myself that I will never let this happen again.

When I got older and got a job I would have my own little Christmases. I was always extremely careful with my money and how I spent it. Throughout the year I would just get the basic necessities but my birthday and Christmas were different. I would go out on a little shopping spree buying a few pairs of jeans, shirts, and shoes. Of course they were all from thrift shops or second hand stores, but to me they were brand new. If I really wanted to splurge I got a couple of books to keep me busy over Christmas break. And while most families were having turkey I was ordering Chinese takeout and getting Ben and Jerry's Creme Brulee ice cream.

But now I have people I can buy Christmas presents for. I want to get everybody a little something but I really want to go all out for Maddox. Not only is he my boyfriend but in my time of need he offered a helping hand and not just anybody would do that. It wouldn't even matter if they got me anything. All that matters to me is that I had people who I could actually give a gift to.

Ashlynn and I decided to do our Christmas shopping after we both got off work at the library. We decided to go to the mall and look around for ideas for everybody's Christmas gifts. I had already gotten Sarah, Gabe, and Ashlynn's gifts and I had to order Maddox's gifts off the internet. Since Maddox wasn't making me pay for rent then I was able to save up my money. I figured since I had finally found a family then I wanted to get them all extravagant gifts. I had never been able to do this before. Yes I may have splurged just a little bit, but it was all worth it in the end. I couldn't wait to see all of the smiles on their faces. Especially Maddox's.

Currently, we were in Spencer's because I was looking for Jade's gift. I decided to get her a s.e.x Positions book and a little something extra because I knew she would love it. After picking up the book I decided to go into the costume department and saw this really cute Santa outfit.

Hmmm, this could be a good idea?

I was looking at the costume when this guy walked up to me. "You know if you want to try that out I will be a willing partic.i.p.ant." I turned to yell at the guy but he was actually really good looking. He was around the same height as Maddox. While Maddox was majorly built this guy was more lean but still had muscles. He had bright blue eyes and curly brown hair with an eyebrow ring. He must have noticed I was staring at him because his lips turned up into this c.o.c.ky grin.

Immediately, I went back to looking at the costume and without looking at him again I said, "Sorry, but the position has already been filled."

"Well d.a.m.n, that is some lucky b.a.s.t.a.r.d. I'm Neil by the way." I turned to look at him and shook his hand. "Isabelle. Nice to meet you Neil." I tried to pull my hand back but he kept a hold of it. "You too Isabelle," he said and he let go of my hand and disappeared before I could say anything.

Ashlynn ran up to me. "Who the h.e.l.l was that good looking guy?"

I looked at her and shrugged my shoulders. "His name is Neil. He saw what I was holding and started hitting on me." Ashlynn made some grumbling noise. "Why is it that you get the guy of your dreams and still have good looking guys checking you out? Meanwhile I can't even get Jason to notice me!"

I just patted her on the shoulder. "Don't worry Ashlynn. Jason just has his head so far up his a.s.s he hasn't seen what's right in front of him. But trust me when I say he will notice and if he doesn't then he's a jacka.s.s!" I saw Ashlynn smile and then she laughed. "You're right! I should just move on and forget about him." Ashlynn decided on some edible lube and furry pink handcuffs for Jade's gift.

"Sweetheart, what did you want to do tonight?" We were currently cuddled on the couch and Maddox was watching a movie on television while I was half watching the movie and reading a book. I put the book down and said, "I don't know. What'd you have in mind?"

Maddox turned the television off and faced me. "I was thinking maybe we could go ice skating or snow tubing if you wanted."

"I've never been ice skating before!"

"You have never been ice skating before?" I laughed at how serious he was making it and then nodded. Before I could say anything else Maddox was on his way back to his bedroom and yelling back to me to get changed because we were leaving to go ice skating in a couple of minutes. He told me to dress warmly because the skating rink was outside. I decided on jeans and a sweatshirt with my winter coat. I also had on some heavy socks with boots and gloves and a scarf.

After we each changed we hopped in the car and were on our way to the skating rink. Once we got there and paid for our skates we were getting on the rink. Maddox stepped on first and then turned to me and put his hands out toward me. "Come on sweetheart. I won't let you go." I put my hands in his and before I stepped out onto the rink I said, "You promise?" Without blinking he said, "Yes."

I was way too scared to actually skate so for a few minutes Maddox skated backwards pulling me along. He laughed at how I held his hands in a death grip. But after a while I started to get a little braver.

"Ok, I think I'm ready to just hold your hand like a normal person."

Maddox laughed. "Sweetheart, you are anything but normal. But if you're ready then ok." He let go of my one hand and we started skating along together. We were skating at a snail's pace but whatever.

For a while we skated in complete silence watching the other people skating. Parents teaching their kids how to skate. Couples holding hands and skating together. Friends skating with one another. And my least favorite, the people who were skating by themselves showing off.

Maddox squeezed my hand. "So sweetheart, you know how my parents invited us to come for Christmas?"

"Yeah. Why what's up?"

"Well, there might be a change of plans."

"What do you mean? Do they not want me to come?"

Maddox pulled me in close, wrapped his arm around my shoulder and then kissed me on the cheek. "Isabelle, sweetheart, it's nothing like that. I just had an idea and I wanted to run it by you."

"Oh. What's the idea Maddox?"

I turned to look at Maddox and while his face was red from the cold I could also tell that he was blushing. Maddox blushing is probably the cutest thing I have ever seen. "Well, um, I thought we could stay at the apartment and have Christmas there. You know, just the two of us?"

Next thing I knew I was falling down. Maddox tried to help me stand but he fell down and pulled me along with him. For a second we just laid there laughing but then Maddox realized he was lying on the floor of the skating rink. "Jesus Christ I'm freezing!" I started to get up but Maddox wrapped his arms around my waist to keep me there. "Sweetheart, it was just an idea. If you don't want to we don't have to. I just thought it would be nice."

"I'm not going to lie. The idea sounds like a good one. I mean, if you still want to?" I'd been nervous about spending Christmas with his family. After I saw that Santa costume I decided that I wanted to have s.e.x with Maddox on Christmas Eve. It would have been really awkward having s.e.x with Maddox for the first time with his parents sleeping at the end of the hall.

Maddox smiled really big and said, "h.e.l.l yeah, I still want to! But um, sweetheart, can we get up? My a.s.s cheeks are frozen together."

"Oh no, we can't have that now, can we?"

We decided to get some hot chocolate to warm up our frozen bodies. They were offering regular and peppermint so Maddox got regular and I got peppermint so could share. Maddox had an arm wrapped around me and was moving it up and down against me. "You warm enough sweetheart?" I just snuggled into him and murmured against his body, "Yes." I took another sip of my peppermint hot chocolate. "Can I try yours?" I started to hand him my cup but he pulled my face to his and swept his tongue in my mouth and kissed me.

I kind of forgot where we were and moved to sit on his lap to kiss him deeper. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me as close as he could. I moaned and then heard him groan against me. Then some kids started chuckling and one yelled, "Get a room!"

I pulled away blushing but it didn't faze Maddox. He looked at the kids and said, "Can you blame me?" My face was buried in Maddox's chest so I just heard a lot of, "No ways," "Absolutely nots," and even a, "She's smokin' hot!" Maddox was laughing but he corrected them, "No. She's beautiful." I kissed him again on the lips. "Alright stud, what do you want to do now?" Maddox squeezed me around the waist and said, "I was thinking we could go get our own Christmas tree. Oh and by the way" -he kissed me again, "I love the peppermint hot chocolate."

"So which one do you want to get sweetheart?" Maddox and I were walking hand in hand looking at the Christmas trees. While they were all beautiful none of them were really the "It" tree. We were getting ready to leave when I saw the best tree there. I let go of Maddox's hand and ran towards the tree. "I want this one." Maddox walked over to me and started laughing. "Isabelle, this tree looks like it's going to die. How about we at least pick a tree that will last us until Christmas?" He started moving me to a different tree but I stood my ground. "No. I want this one. I think it's beautiful and besides, no one wants it. All the trees in this lot are going to die eventually." I poked out my bottom lip and looked up at Maddox from under my eyelashes.

He waved his hand back and forth. "Oh no! Don't even think about the pouty lip sweetheart because it won't work." I walked over to him really slowly and ran a hand from his abs up to the back of his neck. I pulled his head down to mine so he was eye level with me. In a husky voice I whispered, "What about this?"

I sucked in his lower lip and then lightly bit down on it and heard him moan. He pulled me right up against him where I could feel how badly he wanted me. I wrapped my arms around his neck. When he stuck his tongue in my mouth I sucked hard. I leaned back and looked at him and saw that his face was one of s.e.xual desire. I moved back to kiss his lips but at the last second I kissed the side of his mouth, then his jaw, and then his neck. I felt the vibrations of his moans against my lips. I then licked his neck and bit that same exact spot. I felt Maddox push me back and I wondered what I did wrong but he said, "Alright after that you can have whatever the f.u.c.k you want." He waved me away and said, "Go get the tree Charlie Brown."

We ended up getting the tree free. After loading it on the top of Maddox's car we went to get decorations and lights for the tree. Back at our apartment, Maddox carried the tree up while I got the bags of decorations. After taking off our jackets we decided to change into something more comfortable.

Maddox got the tree up and put the lights on while I made some sandwiches for us and got chips and drinks. Maddox walked backwards and plugged the cord in and, like magic, all of the lights turned on. I knew Maddox was hungry so I told him to sit down and eat while I got started on decorating the tree. Even though I was hungry I wanted to decorate the tree more because it was so foreign to me.

I was in the middle of placing a red ornament on the tree when Maddox said, "I feel like this is going to be the best Christmas yet." I walked over and sat down on the coffee table facing him. "Why do you say that?" He set his sandwich down and pulled me onto his lap and kissed me. And as simple as breathing he said, "Because you're here."

Chapter 13.

Sarah and Gabe decided to throw a Christmas party at their apartment the night before Winter Break was supposed to start. It was just our core group of friends and we all decided to get everyone in the group a gift. At first we thought about doing Secret Santa but opted against it. To make it more festive and get everybody in the holiday season we all had to wear ugly Christmas sweaters. Maddox was dressed in a brown sweater with a stocking attached to it that read, I've been a Bad Boy and I was wearing a red sweater that read, All I got for Christmas was this f.u.c.king Sweater!

Walking next door we could hear Christmas music blasting. I was about to knock on the door when Maddox just opened it and walked in. I almost wanted to leave the second I walked in because it looked like Santa and Mrs. Claus lived there. From the top of the walls to the carpeting there was something Christmas related. Christmas music was playing and currently muted on television was Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. There were nutcrackers and elves on the counter of the breakfast bar and stockings hanging along the side.

Even the food was Christmas themed. There were Christmas cookies in the shapes of Santa Claus, Rudolph, and candy canes. They all looked professionally decorated. The frosting was in the perfect place and the cookies actually looked real.

When I try and frost a cookie or a cupcake the icing gets all over my fingers and I just give up. I figured they wouldn't go to all this trouble and not have a gingerbread house. So I started to look around the apartment and spotted a gorgeous gingerbread house. The gumdrops were neatly placed on the roof with sweet tart candies. The path leading up to the house was neatly covered in an array of candies. Sarah had even made a candy cane lamppost. I went over to the perfect little gingerbread house and took a gumdrop off the rooftop. I stuck the gumdrop in my mouth to hide the evidence and saw Gabe watching me and he started laughing.

After swallowing the chewy gumdrop I walked back over to the food that was on display. There was a cheese tray in the shape of a Christmas tree along with Christmas tree crackers, bacon wrapped scallops, quiche, and shrimp with c.o.c.ktail sauce. There were some pretty awesome drinks like the Grinch martini, candy cane shooters, and, my favorite, Boozy Peppermint Hot Chocolate. Not only was it delicious but so were the memories that came with the beverage. After filling up on some of the yummy hot chocolate I walked around the room to look at all of the decorations and then stopped at the sight of the tree.

Holy Moses! I thought my tree decorating skills were good but they were s.h.i.t compared to Sarah and Gabe's tree. Every ornament was put in its rightful place and the tinsel was thrown about the tree like a professional decorator did it. The tree looked like it came from a magazine shoot.

Maddox followed my gaze and said, "Yeah, Sarah is a little crazy about Christmas." I looked at him and let out a breath. "Ya think?" Maddox didn't say anything because the next thing I knew he was sweeping me off my feet and planting his lips to mine. I wrapped my arms around him and nibbled on his lower lip and then felt his tongue against my own. We got a little carried away and then I heard someone yell, "Get it!" I laughed against his mouth and pulled back. "What was that for munchkin?" Maddox kissed me again and set me down and pointed above his head. "Mistletoe, it's tradition" - then he leaned in so only I could hear the rest of what he had to say, "plus I saw you drinking the peppermint hot chocolate and I just couldn't resist."

After hanging out for a while Sarah said, "Alright guys, let's go in the living room and open up presents." One at a time we went around the room and gave each other our gifts. Earlier Maddox and I had decided we would give our gifts to one another on Christmas day.

I got a basket filled with a Rabbit vibrator and some lotion and oils from Jade and then she turned to Maddox and said, "You are very welcome," perfume from Jason, The Sea of Tranquility from Ashlynn, a shirt from Gabe that read I know How to Handle My Man's Baseb.a.l.l.s and Bat and a shirt from Sarah that read: Maid of Honor (noun)

Definition - Bride's b.i.t.c.h

I, Isabelle, am Sarah's Maid of Honor!

It was finally my turn so I handed everyone their gifts. I thought it was only fair that I spent around $50 on each person just so there wasn't any favoritism or anything. I'd gotten Ashlynn a $50 gift card to Barnes and n.o.ble, a snow board for Jason, the s.e.x positions book and a c.o.c.k ring for Jade, I got Sarah something blue which was a single blue diamond on a necklace for her to wear on her wedding day. I told her she didn't have to wear it if she didn't like it but she started tearing up and jumped into my lap and hugged me. I almost thought I was going to die right then and there but she loosened her hold and said, "Thanks Isabelle," with this huge smile on her face. As for Gabe, I got him a shirt that read Sorry Ladies but this s.e.xy Man is TAKEN along with a book t.i.tled How to Not f.u.c.k Up Your Marriage.

We hung out with everyone for a little while longer before leaving. I told Maddox I was getting tired because of the alcohol but really I wanted to have us a little party of our own. Walking in the door, I gave Maddox a kiss and started walking back to my room. I heard the television going on in the living room and the fridge opening.

After I closed my bedroom door I got out my Santa outfit and quickly changed into it. The outfit was actually really cute with a short red skirt with white cotton at the edge, a red bra with cotton and a cute little Santa hat that had glitter all over it. I paired the outfit with thigh high black boots which I'd borrowed from Ashlynn. After curling my hair a little, applying a fresh coat of mascara, and spraying myself with some peppermint perfume I left my bedroom.

I peeked out and saw Maddox's eyes were stuck on the television and he had a beer in his hand. I walked over to the end of the hallway and stood there with a hand on my hip and waited for Maddox to look my way. He was just about to take a sip of his beer when he saw me and his jaw dropped.

I walked over to the television, never taking my eyes off him and turned it off. He placed the beer on the coffee table and stared at me in amazement. With my arms crossed I said, "I heard you've been a naughty boy this year Maddox Mitch.e.l.l." I thought he was going to laugh but he played along with me. "Yes, I have. How are you going to punish me?"

How was I going to punish him? I hadn't actually thought that far ahead. Then an idea came to me and an evil smile came across my face. I lifted my left leg onto the coffee table and he sucked in a breath. He could see that I was commando and could see just how much I wanted him. He started to get off the couch but I put my hand out in front of him and said, "I'm going to punish you for being so naughty." I waved my hand and gestured for him to sit down. With a frown on his face he sat back down but never took his eyes off me.

"So Maddox, would you like to tell me why you have been so naughty this year?" He was about to answer me but then his mouth dropped and his eyes got wide. I had never done this before, at least not in front of someone but I just went with it. I placed my thumb against my c.l.i.t and started rubbing in circles. I was going torturously slow but I knew if I went faster with Maddox watching me I would come right then and there and I had to keep my head in the game.

I raised an eyebrow and said, "Fine, if you won't answer that question then answer this one. What do you want to do to me?" I saw his Adam's apple move and then he said, "I want to kiss your beautiful lips." I applied a little more pressure and said, "What else?" He swallowed again and said, "I want to suck on your nipples." I added a little more pressure and then pulled down the bra and started pinching and pulling one nipple. Without taking my eyes off him I said, "What else?"

He moved to the edge of his seat and said, "I want to suck on your c.l.i.t and put my fingers inside you." He'd started to get the hang of the game so I rubbed a little harder and then placed a finger inside myself. "What else?" He moved off the couch and started walking towards me and with a face of s.e.x he said, "I want you to come harder than you ever have and I want to hear you scream my name." Without stopping I whispered, "Make me."

I wasn't even able to finish saying the two words before Maddox lifted me up and slung me on the couch. He ripped off his shirt and then sucked in my lower lip and bit down a little roughly but the pain was a pleasurable one. The second I gasped he shoved his middle and ring finger inside me and used his thumb to apply pressure to my c.l.i.t. I wrapped my legs around him and he sucked hard on my nipple and pinched the other one while I played with his hair and sucked on his neck.

I started moving against his fingers and sucked on his earlobe and said, "Harder." And that is exactly what he did. Maddox added his pointer finger and slightly curved them all the while moving down my body. Before I knew it he sucked my c.l.i.t into his mouth and within seconds I was screaming his name over and over again. The second he took his fingers out of me I was on his lap kissing him.

There was something about tasting myself on him that made me extremely hot. I moved off his body and was kneeling next to him unbuckling his pants. His c.o.c.k sprung out in my face and I sucked him into my mouth while squeezing his b.a.l.l.s. I was bobbing my head up and down and then I felt a hand in my hair moving it aside and then I felt two fingers push inside of me forcefully. I moaned around his c.o.c.k and sucked him harder and moved my head up and down faster.

I heard Maddox moaning and saying, "f.u.c.k Isabelle," over and over again. I felt him getting bigger in my mouth and I knew he was going to come any second. As his sweet liquid squirted in my mouth and his c.o.c.k twitched in my mouth, he pushed down roughly on my c.l.i.t and I came around his fingers again. It was harder and more powerful than any other time. I was having uncontrollable spasms and breathing in and out heavily and it felt like someone else had taken over my body. I couldn't move even if I wanted to and before I knew it Maddox lifted me up into his arms and started nuzzling my neck. My mouth was right by his ear and I was still breathing hard. I was trying to form words but then I felt him get hard against my stomach. He could tell that I felt it too because I sucked in a breath and then he put a hand on either side of my face and looked at me. "Sweetheart, when you are breathing uncontrollably like that because of me I get so turned on. h.e.l.l, I get turned on just hearing your name."