I still couldn't form simple words so I just kissed him on the lips and nuzzled into him. Maddox lifted me up with him. I thought he was going to take me to my room but he pushed his jeans off. He lay down on the couch with me on his chest and covered us up with a blanket. We both fell into a blissful sleep.

The next morning I woke up in Maddox's arms and it was the best feeling in the world. Every time I slept in his arms I got the best night's sleep and I felt safe and warm. I was tracing a finger around his nipple ring when it twitched and I looked up and saw Maddox was smiling down at me. "Good morning beautiful." I smiled and kissed his stomach. "Mmm, yes it is."

He pulled me even closer to him and then my back was on the couch and he was on top of me. He started to move his head down but I put a hand to his chest to push him off me. "I just have to brush my teeth really quick and then I'll be back." Maddox put a hand over my wrist and brought it up and around his neck while inching his mouth closer to mine. "I don't care about your morning breath sweetheart. There's nothing that could keep me away from your sweet little mouth."

I moved my head to the side and then he started nuzzling my neck but pulled back. "Although on second thought, you probably do have really bad morning breath." I turned my head and started to yell at him but his mouth was on mine. He was sucking on my tongue before I could argue with him. I wrapped my arms around him and tilted my head to deepen this kiss and moaned into his mouth.

After a couple minutes of the best make out session ever he leaned back. He looked at me and then tilted his head to the side. "Yep, maybe you should have brushed your teeth." A huge smile came across his face and then I started laughing at him. He kissed me again on the lips and then started to lift off me.

I sat up and asked, "Where are you going?" Maddox's back was to me but he turned around and said, "I've got some shopping to do for my beautiful girl today." After he got ready he kissed me and went on his way. For the rest of the day I just lounged around the house. Sarah and Gabe stopped by before they left for home and told me to have a great holiday. I wrapped Maddox's gifts and then read for a while. I thought he would be home soon but eight hours later he still wasn't home. I thought he would call or text me to let me know he was okay but nothing happened.

I was getting ready for bed and as I started to turn off my bedroom light I realized I really missed Maddox. So I walked out of my room and went into his. Even though we were dating we both needed our s.p.a.ce so we still slept in our own rooms but tonight was different. I went into his room and curled up under his covers. My head was on his pillow and his scent was all around me so that even without him being here physically I felt safe and drifted off to sleep.

At some point I felt arms wrap around me and Maddox kissed my neck. I turned around in his arms and he was smiling. "I didn't know if this was okay; I can leave if you want your own s.p.a.ce." Maddox just chuckled and said, "This is definitely okay sweetheart." He leaned down and kissed me on the lips. I thought he was going to deepen the kiss but he simply pulled me closer to him. I wrapped a leg around his waist and cuddled up to him. Within seconds we were asleep in one another's arms.

Chapter 14.

A week later I woke up to Maddox jumping up and down on my bed. "Merry Christmas sweetheart!" He looked so gorgeous in the morning. His hair was all over the place, eyes glistening, and a huge smile on his face. "Merry Christmas Madd." I jumped up off the bed and grabbed him and kissed him. I didn't even care that I had morning breath. It didn't matter anymore because nothing could never stop me from kissing Maddox's lips.

Before he could grab me I jumped up off the bed and ran to my closet to get his gift. I couldn't wait to see his eyes when he opened it.

Maddox was sitting on my bed just staring at me.

Typical.

I walked up to him and handed him his present. "Here you go." He took it from me and started to rub the back of his neck. "Sweetheart, I feel terrible because I didn't get you anything. I didn't know what exactly to get you so I just thought I could take you shopping. Would that work?"

A normal person would have been devastated.

But I wasn't normal. Far from it actually.

I couldn't remember the last time I got a present for Christmas.

Or my birthday.

So this was nothing new. I would have been more shocked if he had actually gotten me something.

I put my hand on his shoulder to try and comfort him. "Hey, don't worry about it. You let me stay here for free so this is the least I could do." He was looking at his present probably trying to figure out what it was but then he looked up at me. "Sweetheart, you really don't understand just how much you already do."

Before I could respond he dropped his present on my bed and was out of my room. I followed after him into his room. "Maddox what are you doing?" He was searching through his closet for something. "Wait, I might have something you could have in here. How about you just go sit on the bed while I look?" I turned around to sit on the bed and when I turned back around Maddox was standing in front of me with a gift in his hands. I looked at it and then looked up at him. "What's this?"

He started to laugh. "What do you think it is Sweetheart? You really think I'd forget to get my girl something for Christmas?"

I sat down on his bed and whispered, "I just - I didn't expect anything." I didn't know what to do so I just sat there like an idiot with a stunned look on my face. "Don't just sit there. Open your gift sweetheart." He pushed the gift into my hands and I looked down at it. The gift was covered in red wrapping paper with Santa Claus in his sleigh and Rudolph and the other reindeers pulling him around. There was gold ribbon wrapped around it and at the top was a bow with a tag attached to it. I read it and almost cried.

To My Sweetheart,

Our first Christmas together, but certainly not our last.

Your Munchkin

I looked at him and bolted out of the room. I could hear him talking to himself in his bedroom and then I heard him kick the wall and march out of his room. "Sweetheart, it's just a gift you don't have to frea-. Oof!" He was hunched over and holding his stomach.

My eyes got huge. "I'm sorry. I was just getting you your gift. Are you ok?" Maddox stood up straight and looked at me. "Oh yeah, I'm fine. Come on, I have tattoos and piercings. I'm a mother f.u.c.king bada.s.s. A little hit in the gut is nothing."

I looked at him and started to chuckle. I could see that my running into him was hurting him but he was trying to play it cool. "Ok well, come on Bada.s.s Maddox." I dragged him into the living room and I stopped dead in my tracks. "What's all this?"

There were presents everywhere, breakfast was made, and hot chocolate was sitting on the coffee table. Maddox walked in front of me like nothing was different. "It is Christmas after all." I could feel my eyes starting to mist and a lump forming in my throat. "Why'd you do all of this?" I didn't understand what was going on. This was just so different from anything I had ever experienced or expected.

Maddox was loading a plate up with breakfast items. Although when he saw that I wasn't standing next to him he put the plate down and turned around. "I f.u.c.ked up, didn't I? It's ok, we can do something else, I just really wanted you to enjoy today. That's all." He started clearing off the table and talking to himself when I walked over to him grabbed his arm.

"Maddox don't do that, I just needed a minute." He was just staring at me so I proceeded. "n.o.body has ever done anything like this for me, so I just needed a minute...or five to take it all in."

"What do you mean Isabelle? You've never celebrated Christmas?" The look in my eyes must have said it all and before I knew it I was in his arms. He started to rub my back and kissed the top of my head. "Well, you will from now on. You hear me?" He was holding me to him so I just nodded. We stood like that for a couple more minutes and then Maddox pushed me back. As he wiped away my tears he said, "Alright, enough of this Lifetime s.h.i.t. Let's get down and dirty in these gifts." He looked at me one more time and the look in his eyes was different.

We walked back over to the breakfast bar and he handed me a plate.

When did he have time to do all of this?

There were eggs, bacon, sausage, hash browns, bagels, and blueberry m.u.f.fins. My favorite. I put the plate down, grabbed a napkin and a m.u.f.fin. I started to nibble on it and smiled. I could feel a pair of brown eyes on me and turned to look at Maddox. "What?" He just laughed. "Really? I make all of this food and you grab a d.a.m.n m.u.f.fin. Unbelievable. Well, more for me."

After Maddox got all situated, we walked into the living room and he handed me a hot chocolate. From out of nowhere he pulled out a can of whipped cream and piled it on my drink.

I took a sip of the hot chocolate and realized it was peppermint flavored. I set it down on the coffee table and then heard Maddox gulp. I thought he was choking so I turned to look at him and he had this weird look on his face. "What?" Maddox put his plate on the coffee table and the second he turned around his lips were on mine. I opened my mouth and felt his warm tongue against mine. I started to moan and then Maddox pulled away. It took me a few seconds to catch my breath. When I did I saw that Maddox had a smirk on his face while he was eating his bagel sandwich. "What was that about? Not that I didn't enjoy it."

Maddox finished the bite that was in his mouth and then swallowed. "You know I have to taste the peppermint hot chocolate. Plus you had whipped cream on your face. We'll definitely have to use that."

Dear Lord,

This is the best Christmas ever!

Amen

I could feel a blush creeping on so I grabbed his gift and handed it to him. He looked down at it and smiled. I had wrapped it in Wizard of Oz wrapping paper that had little munchkins all over it.

He started laughing and then looked at me. "Clever Isabelle. Clever indeed." I just shrugged my shoulders and smiled. "I thought so."

Maddox put it to the side and got up from the couch and grabbed the gift that he had given to me earlier and set it in my lap. "Merry Christmas sweetheart." I started to untie the ribbon and noticed that Maddox wasn't opening his gift. I was just about to ask him when he said, "I'll open mine later. I want to see your face when you open your gifts." He took another bite of his sandwich and I began to open my gift. Before all of the paper was off I knew exactly what it was.

My very own Kindle. I just touched the box and looked it over. I felt my eyes getting watery all over again and I was just about to get the Kindle out of the box when Maddox s.n.a.t.c.hed it from me.

"I will not allow you to open anymore gifts if you're going to cry sweetheart. You have no idea what your crying does to me."

I quickly wiped my tears away and told him to give it back. I got my Kindle out of the box and started to play around with it. I began downloading free books because I was short on money after getting everybody's gifts and Maddox's. I was just about to get Pride and Prejudice when a one-hundred dollar gift card fell into my lap. I picked it up and looked at it and then at Maddox. He pointed to me and warned, "Remember what I said sweetheart."

I dropped the Kindle onto the couch and lunged at him. He didn't even hesitate and pulled me into his arms while I kissed him. We stayed like that for a few minutes and then I broke it. I pushed him onto the couch and turned around to grab his gift.

"Well d.a.m.n Isabelle. If all I had to do was get you a bunch of gifts to finally have you in my bed it would've happened months ago." I turned back around and handed him his gift. "Merry Christmas Madd." He took the gift from me and for a second just looked at me. I felt like he wanted to say something but he shook his head and started to rip the wrapping paper off.

He sat there for a few minutes just staring at it. I thought maybe I had screwed up and was about to apologize. Then he looked at me and I could see tears in his eyes. He wiped his eyes and started to cough. I wanted to grab him and hold him because seeing him cry wanted to make me cry all over again but for different reasons. I couldn't stand to see Maddox in pain and I couldn't believe that I had caused it. I started to open my mouth but he said, "Isabelle this is the best gift I have ever been given. Thank you."

I smiled because I was so relieved that I hadn't screwed this up. I'd gotten him new tattoo guns, ink, and two plane tickets to Las Vegas. There was a tattoo convention there in April that I'd gotten him tickets to as well. I thought that maybe he and Gabe could go since they shared the same pa.s.sion for tattoos.

I was just about to tell him that when he said, "I want you to come with me." I looked at him. "Where?" He picked up the plane tickets and waved them in my face. "Here sweetheart. I want you to come with me." I pushed his arm away and tried to explain. "Maddox, I know nothing about tattoos. All I know is that they hurt like a b.i.t.c.h. I wouldn't have the full appreciation for it. Besides I thought you could take Gabe. You guys would have a lot of fun together."

He put the tickets down in his lap and it looked like he was considering it. "Nah, while he would appreciate it, I would appreciate it more if you were there with me. I want you there with me. I want to experience it with you. Plus you'll be turning twenty-one while we're there!" I started to laugh again. "Ok but Maddox, just remember that there are four months until the convention, so just think about it ok?"

"Alright but my mind is already made up. You're the one I want." The way he said that seemed almost as if he wasn't just talking about me joining him on the trip to Vegas but I tried not to read too into it. I felt like things were definitely changing between us. I mean I thought we were just having fun so I tried to switch the topic. "So what else did you get me Maddox?"

It seemed almost like he knew that I was trying to change the subject. Instead of calling me on it he said, "How about you open them and find out?" Overall I got a pair of UGG boots, some perfume, a Northface jacket with a hat and gloves and some sweatpants.

For the rest of the day we snuggled on the couch and watched Christmas movies and drank hot chocolate. We were too lazy to actually make a Christmas dinner so we just ordered Chinese food and munched on Chicken and Broccoli, Crab Rangoon, Shrimp Fried Rice, and Spring Rolls.

At one point Maddox turned to me and asked, "So did you get everything you wanted for Christmas?" I took my eyes off of the television to look up at him. "Today was the best. Thank you Madd. Did you get everything you wanted?" He didn't even pause. "All I wanted for Christmas was you." I was about to laugh when I saw that he didn't even blink. There was just something about today that was different. Maybe because Maddox gave me my first Christmas. I could feel a change in the air and I knew today that I wanted Maddox to be my first. It wasn't because he had made that Christmas one to remember but I realized in that moment I was in love with Maddox Mitch.e.l.l. I wanted him in every way.

I had never been straightforward with anything in my life, but Maddox made me feel...like I could do or be anything. Infinite. So I grabbed his face and crushed my lips to his. Maddox grabbed a hold of me and pulled me onto his lap without breaking the kiss. He opened his mouth and I gladly opened mine. After a few minutes he started to kiss my neck down to my collarbone and then made his way back up to my lips. I made my way to the bottom of his shirt and started to pull it up over his head. He could see what I wanted so he helped me out a little bit. After he dropped the shirt on the floor he picked me up in his arms and carried me to my room.

Along the way I got rid of my shirt and bra. Before I knew it I was falling on my bed and bringing Maddox along with me. I loved the feel of his skin up against me and I couldn't wait for him to finally be inside me.

He started pinching and pulling a nipple and sucking on my neck. I was sucking on his earlobe when I whispered, "I want you." I thought it was going to turn him on but it did the complete opposite. He jerked his head away and looked at me. I thought his face was going to be filled with desire but he looked...scared. He got up on his knees and started to rub the back of his neck.

I didn't understand what was going on and then felt really uncomfortable because I was topless. So I sat up and wrapped the blanket around me. I watched him and saw that he was looking down and biting his lip and I just had to know so I whispered, "Maddox?"

He jerked up to look at me and started rambling. "Isabelle, this isn't what I wanted for today to be. I just wanted you to have a good Christmas and for us to spend time together. I mean, is this what you thought I wanted? Is this what you want? f.u.c.k, I don't want your first time to be like this!"

I felt my eyes watering and I could feel my chin quivering. "Maddox, I don't understand. I thought... "

"What'd you think? That this is what I wanted?" When I nodded, he said, "No, that is not what I wanted at all."

I could feel tears falling and my heart breaking. I thought he'd wanted me. I thought he'd cared about me, but no. I was stupid enough to believe that someone could actually care about me and not put me down. But I was wrong.

Maddox must have realized what he said and he tried to backtrack. "Isa-," I stood up from the bed and walked over to my closet and yanked a shirt over my head. "Get the f.u.c.k out of my room now!"

Maddox just sat there and rubbed his hands together. "Isabelle, that's not what I meant. I mea -."

I looked at him and if looks could kill Maddox would have been six feet under. "I don't give a f.u.c.k what you meant. I don't give a flying f.u.c.k anymore. I thought you were different but I was so wrong. You completely played me. You went so far as to introduce me to your family. I thought I was actually falling for you, but you know what I fell for Maddox? I fell for your bulls.h.i.t, and guess what? I'm not going to be falling for it anymore. The second I have enough money I am out of here. Do you hear me?"

"Swee a"

"DON'T YOU DARE SWEETHEART ME! NOW I KNOW YOU'RE NOT DEAF SO I WILL TELL YOU ONE MORE TIME. GET THE f.u.c.k OUT!"

I could see tears forming in his eyes but I didn't care. I thought he'd wanted me. h.e.l.l, I'd thought maybe he was falling in love with me. I couldn't believe how stupid I actually was. As soon as I heard the door close behind him I completely lost it. I grabbed the closest thing to me, which was a framed picture of the two of us and slammed it against the wall. Then I fell over and bawled.

The way the gla.s.s shattered was the same effect Maddox's words had on my heart. I knew there was no way I could ever repair that picture frame and I also knew there was no way anybody could ever repair my heart. It was completely shattered.

I finally managed to stop crying and just fell on my bed. I didn't change. I didn't wrap myself up in my blanket. I just felt numb and stared at the wall. Before I knew it my eyelids were shutting and I was thinking that Christmas was the worst holiday ever.

Chapter 15.

The next morning my head was killing me because of all the crying I had done. I wished it was a bad dream and that I'd woken up in the comfort of Maddox's arms, but it wasn't. This was my reality and I had to face it and move on.

After getting ready, I walked out into the living room to get my shoes and jacket. I was prepared to start my apartment hunting today because I couldn't live with Maddox for any longer. I started to walk past the breakfast bar when I saw Maddox's back was to me and he was busy making breakfast. There were two plates set out with orange juice and coffee next to them. Maddox had to be f.u.c.king kidding himself if he thought that was an apology. He must have heard me walk out because he turned around and had this small smile on his face.

I couldn't believe that the b.a.s.t.a.r.d was actually smiling. He'd broken my heart yet had the nerve to think that making scrambled eggs and toast was going to make everything better.

He must have seen the p.i.s.sed off look on my face because his smile turned to a thin line. "Isabelle, I wanted to apologize."

I thought I'd gotten all of my tears and frustration out last night but apparently not. "I don't want to hear it Maddox. I just can't believe I fell for your bulls.h.i.t. I can't believe I actually wanted you to be my first. You completely played me and after everything that I told you about Cynthia." I huffed and puffed and felt tears in my eyes. I thought blinking a few times would make them go away but when I opened my eyes they fell down my face. "But I guess Cynthia was right. I am stupid and n.o.body will ever care about me."