"So, the first chance you get, you go there and f.u.c.k him again."

"I beg your pardon? Don't speak to me like that. On second thoughts, maybe you should go, Rick." I went to leave the room, but he grabbed my hand and wrenched it back.

"I'm sorry, Lex, I didn't mean to yell at you like that. It just sickens me that you are being intimate with another man."

"Well it sickened me that you sold me out for money, so I guess we are even." I took back my hand, walked around to the other side of the bed and kicked off my shoes.

"I'm sorry, Babe. Please give me a chance, the kids and I have a special surprise for you." He came round to my side of the bed and wrapped his arms around me. I literally went rigid. I couldn't help it, maybe it was because he had just had a go at me, or maybe it was because I know longer felt anything for him, I wasn't sure. He pulled back and shook me loose. "Come on, Lex, loosen up. You're going to enjoy our date." I smiled briefly. "Now put something nice on and meet me out in the dining room."

"Put something nice on? Where are we going?"

"Nowhere."

"Then why do I have to put something nice on."

"Because we are on a date. Work with me, Babe, this was your idea. Remember?" f.u.c.k, don't I know it.

"Okay, I'll put on a dress."

"Good." He scooted off down the hall and disappeared into the spare room. f.u.c.k, what have I gotten myself into? I don't think I want to date Rick anymore. One minute he kissed me like he never kissed me before, and the next he was hurling hate at me. I looked down the hall to the spare room, at the door he was behind, then down to my arms where he had just grabbed me. When he touched me there was just nothing there I had felt nothing, it paled in comparison to Bryce. Rick had only just seconds ago embraced me, but I didn't feel the lingering effects of his touch, instead my skin still buzzed with thoughts of Bryce, when he had consumed every inch of it, and that was hours ago.

I rifled through my wardrobe with no enthusiasm to dress up for this date. Alexis, make an effort. You asked for this from him, and he is doing it. The least you can do is make an effort and try and enjoy what could be your last romantic meal together. I sighed but agreed with my annoying amini me' conscience who always invisibly sat on my shoulder. I begrudgingly pulled out my black plain slip dress which sat just above my knee, and sported a split to about half way up my thigh. I couldn't be bothered doing my hair so ran the brush through it quickly, and put on a little lip gloss and mascara. I took a deep breath, practiced my smile in front of the mirror for a second, and then left the room.

When I walked into the dining area Charli was dressed in her best party dress, she cleared her throat and began her act.

"Mrs Summers, your table is just over here." She held her arm up, suggesting me to link mine around it. I smiled, and scrunched up my face at Charli's cuteness. She opened her eyes wide and tilted her head, indicating I needed to take her seriously, so I swallowed my humour and linked my arm around hers.

"Thank you, Ma'am." Charli escorted me to a table that was set with my abest' dinner set, two candles, two Gerberas and wine gla.s.ses. She pulled out my chair and pointed to it. "Please take a seat."

"Thank you." I sat, and she tried desperately to push me in. I whispered to her, "It's okay, I'll do it."

She whispered back, "Cool, thanks."

Nate rounded the corner in black slacks and a plain white shirt, he had even put some hair gel through his hair and combed it back. My heart started to thump heavily in my chest, these two incredibly adorable children were revelling in this charade for their mother, it was just so sweet. Nate walked into the kitchen, opened one of the drawers and pulled a tea towel out. He meticulously draped it over his left arm and then carried a bottle of wine over to the table, displaying it to me like they would do in a restaurant.

"Would you care for a gla.s.s of wine, Mum...I mean, Mrs. Summers?" He closed his eyes and shook his head, embarra.s.sed at breaking character. I couldn't help but giggle, and rea.s.suringly squeezed his leg.

"Yes, please, Sir." I watched a look of shock and horror pa.s.s his face and nearly panicked myself. s.h.i.t, what did I do? But, then his eyebrows lifted, displaying he had an epiphany, and then he ran out of the room.

"I'll be right back," he called out behind him. I heard the noise of a cork popping and watched Nate enter the room again looking relieve, holding a now open bottle. Oh you two gorgeous, gorgeous little loves of my life, I just want to break character and hug you both. Nate poured wine steadily into the two gla.s.ses on the table, and Charli approached with a smugness about her.

"Mr Summers will be joining you shortly." She nodded, curtsied, then walked back into the kitchen. I laughed and placed my head in my hands, hiding my amus.e.m.e.nt in fear of offending them. Suddenly, there was a hand on mine pulling them away from my face.

"May I have this dance, Mrs. Summers." Rick was standing above me in a tuxedo, grinning, but trying to keep an air of seriousness about him.

"Sure." I said looking around and listening for any sign of music. He led me to the lounge where he had cleared the s.p.a.ce and created a makeshift dance floor. He picked up the remote control for the stereo and pressed play. Brian Adams filled the room, and a memory of our first dance as husband and wife popped into my head. He firmly pulled me into his arms, and we began to dance to aEverything I do (I do it for you).'

Rick and I had taken dance lessons before our wedding so that our first dance together would be special. Rick was exceptionally good at dancing, so we continued to go to the lessons and cla.s.ses for a couple of years after we got married. When I had Nate, the lessons had stopped. I'm not quite sure why we never went back to them, we just didn't. I put my head on his shoulder, not saying a word while we danced. It was kind of strange, nice, but strange. For me it felt a little like closure, it was our first dance as husband and wife, and it would more than likely be our last dance as husband and wife too.

I lifted my head from his shoulder as we twirled around the room. There were pictures on the walls of us on our wedding day looking happy, which we had been. When he had placed my wedding band on my finger and promised to alove and cherish me for as long as we both shall live', I had believed he would. And when I had put his wedding band onto his finger and promised to alove and be faithful for as long as we both shall live', I believed I would too. Now, I'm standing there in his arms, dancing like we had done twelve years ago, after just pledging those vows to each other, and I realised those vows have now been broken. We had broken them and we had taken them for granted.

A tear rolled down my cheek just as Nate and Charli peeped around the corner. Nate's smile faded to confusion, but it was Charli as always who opened her mouth.

"Mum, why are you crying?" Rick pulled back from me to see for himself. He looked concerned and unsure if it was a happy or sad tear. I didn't want to ruin the date that the kids and him had planned for me, so I lied.

"It's a happy tear, ratbag." Rick and Charli smiled at me, but it was Nate who showed a small sign of hesitation. The music on the stereo changed, and Elvis Presley filled the room. Rick stood back and threw his hands in the air, pointed his toes to the ground, then as if he were born to do it, he flicked his knees into each other simultaneously as he swung his hips from side to side. Charli started clapping and made herself comfortable on the couch. I pulled Nate over to me, bear hugged him and whispered into his ear. "I'm okay, little man." He squeezed my arm then we watched his Dad do what his Dad did best, dance!

Rick paraded his Jailhouse Rock moves for a few seconds more than grabbed my hand. Nate quickly jumped out of the way so that Rick and I could jive around the lounge. He really was a fantastic dancer, I'd almost forgotten. We hadn't danced together for years, I think the last time was at his brother's wedding just after Charli was born. He spun me around and pulled me back to him, and repeated this until the song finished. I sat on the arm of the couch catching my breath and laughed.

"You've still got the moves, Rick."

"You're not too bad yourself, Lex."

"Ha, that's the most exercise I've had in a long time, I'm stuffed." The non-s.e.xual kind anyway.

"Well, I hope you've worked up an appet.i.te then, come on," He took my hand and led me to the table, where unlike Charli Bear, he successfully pushed in my chair. He disappeared into the kitchen with the kids, leaving me alone to sit in a state of confusion and emotional ruin. I'd gone from anger when I first came home, to reluctance and unwillingness, to closure and sadness, then to recognition, reminiscing, and fun. Now, I was sitting there clouded, muddled, and in complete disarray as to how I was going to break his heart and end our marriage for good. The kids walked out of the kitchen and into the family room, each with a bowl of pasta. Rick followed behind with two plates of Veal Scallopini and vegetables. "Your favourite, Lex." I looked at the plate, it was my favourite. I loved Rick's Veal Scallopini.

"Thanks, that's sweet." I forked a medallion of veal and some mushrooms and popped them into my mouth. It was delicious, but I couldn't help wonder to myself what Bryce's Veal Scallopini would taste like in comparison to this. Alexis, you're a b.i.t.c.h. "Yum, it's beautiful, Rick."

"No, you're beautiful, Lex." I forced a smiled then looked back at my plate. He reached over and grabbed my hand. "I f.u.c.ked up big time. I noticed early on you were forming an interest in Bryce, and instead of persuading you otherwise and showing you how much I loved you, I ignored it. I let you down. You are smart, talented, beautiful, and funny. You are a wonderful mother and wife. You're sweet, shy, and bashful, but you also have a raw don't mess with you side. You're perfect, Lex, and I don't blame Bryce for falling in love with you. Instead, I blame myself for encouraging it instead of stopping it." I let go of his hand and spoke as calmly as I could.

"Rick, I don't think you could've stopped it even if you had tried. Bryce and I share a connection that I cannot explain. I felt it the first day I b.u.mped into him, before I even knew who he was. Listen, you can't blame yourself for aletting' this happen, because you didn't-it just happened on its own. Could you have stopped us from taking it any further when we did? Well, yes, but you chose to risk it in order to profit, and that is not something you can take back. Honestly though, Rick, and this might hurt you, and if it does I'm truly sorry, but Bryce and I were inevitable, and we still are." I let out a breath, knowing I had just ended our marriage for good. He didn't say anything, he just sat there letting it sink in, then finally after a few minutes of silence he broke down and started to sob. It hit me hard, I had never seen Rick shed a tear, let alone sob. It just wasn't him; he didn't get emotionally distraught over anything.

I was about to get up and offer what relief I could when he spoke through his grief.

"Alexis, I don't deserve you anyway, I never have."

"Rick I..."

"No, let me finish, because if I don't say it all now, I probably never will and you deserve better than that. Our family deserves better than that. You need to know, though, that I love you. I always have and I always will, and I love those two kids in there more than anything." He pointed to the family room. "I don't want to lose them as well, Lex, I've already lost you. Please don't take them away from me. Promise you'll never take them away from me."

"Rick, I would never keep Nate and Charlie from you, ever."

"You might when you hear what I'm about to say." His face went pale and he wiped the tears from his eyes. I watched him suck in a deep breath then blow it out harshly, composing himself to deliver something I knew I did not want to hear, but strangely enough knew I could handle.

"Lex, I did sleep with Claire all those years ago, I couldn't help myself. She was young, beautiful and she threw herself at me. You were dealing with your own self-esteem issues after having Charli, and you shut me out. I'm not saying it was your fault, not at all, because it wasn't. It was mine. Instead of helping you with your demons, I abandoned you and succ.u.mbed to temptation and have regretted it ever since." I went to say something. "Please, let me finish, Lex." I nodded. "Claire has been blackmailing me ever since, and I have been paying her monthly to keep her quiet. I know that's f.u.c.king stupid but on the flip side Lex, you and our marriage were worth more to me than money. That's why when Bryce came to me and offered me the five million, I saw it as a means to an end with Claire once and for all, and that's the only reason I accepted it." We sat there staring at each other for what felt like minutes, not saying anything. I felt relieved that he had in fact cheated on me. How seriously f.u.c.ked up is that? I was so relieved, that in a sick way I cackled in my head like a witch on crack. My newfound craziness continued when I broke eye contact with him, picked up my fork and persisted with my dinner. Why? Because I was hungry.

After dinner, Rick and I cleaned up together, still not uttering a word. The atmosphere wasn't tense, it wasn't even awkward, it just wasn't anything at all apart from the weirdest kind of calm I had ever experienced. The kids went to bed, so I grabbed my bottle of Gin and went out to sit under our pergola.

Rick opened the sliding door and finally spoke.

"I guess I'll get going. The kids won't know any different, but tomorrow after work we might have to tell them something."

"Rick, can I ask you something?"

He stepped out and took a seat opposite me. "Yeah."

"Do you feel relieved?" I watched him search for the answer within his head, and not to my surprise he found it quite quickly.

"Yes, really relieved. I've held this horrible secret for so long, and it's been killing every part of me."

"I reckon it would have. I'm actually relieved myself. When you confessed before, I thought the relief I felt was because your infidelity justified my own, but it wasn't that. I'm relieved for you. I'm relieved that you no longer have to carry this around with you, and that you can finally go back to being the person you were before this happened." I took a sip of my drink. Rick looked at my gla.s.s, so I slid the bottle over to him. "Knock yourself out."

"Nah, I've got to drive to the hotel I'm staying in."

"Rick, sleep in the spare room. Really, what's the difference? It's not like we will ever repair this. We are done." Those three words tumbled out of my mouth so easily, but they did leave a twinge of pain in my chest. "So, you might as well crash in there until you find yourself a new place, and that way the kids can see you like they normally do."

He nodded and put the bottle to his lips. "I never thought you'd react like this." Pfft, neither did I.

"Rick, I've been angry, I've been upset, I've been confused, I've been hurt, I've been depressed, and I've been f.u.c.ked in the head. I've pretty much felt everything you could feel since you first told me you had an affair, and then you didn't have it, and now you have had it. The only thing left for me to be is just how I am right now. I can't explain it, I am just....... Blah." I laughed and drank some more. Alexis, the crazy witch on crack. Rick scoffed with a slight smile.

"That actually makes perfect sense, Lex."

"I know."

I woke up the next morning still feeling ablah', but when my head cleared enough to come to the realisation that I was on my way to see Bryce completely free to be with him, unattached or hindered in way shape or form, I smiled, then cried. I cried a lot driving along the Tullamarine Freeway; I cried tears of joy, I cried tears of pain, I cried tear of loss, I cried tears of exhaustion, and I cried tears of fulfillment. I parked my Charger in its normal parking spot, then a.s.sessed the panda that looked back at me from the rear-view mirror. Shiiiiit! I wiped my eyes with a tissue and patted my cheeks. When I did this, I noticed aBrylexis' sparkle at me. I had put it back on my finger this morning, but not on my ring finger because that was not where it belonged. Brylexis now belonged on the opposite hand and it looked perfect. I sat there staring it for a few minutes smiling as much as a person could smile, and when I looked back to my reflection in the mirror the panda was now a cub. I stepped out of the car and made my way to Bryce's apartment.

When the doors opened I could smell the aroma of a cooked breakfast that I was slightly jealous I had missed. I could hear Bryce's voice outside, but he wasn't alone. I skipped towards the balcony and found him and Lucy at the bal.u.s.trade in deep discussion. She was in the middle of saying something when I approached the bi-fold doors. They didn't see me at first.

"...you are just going to have to be careful and delicate with how she finds out."

"I know Luce, but she has been hurt enough, and I can't bear to see her beautiful face struggle to deal with I have to tell her, she's been through enough."

"I know that Bryce, but Alexis deserves to know."

My smile faded and I stepped forward. "Know what?"

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX.

I hate the horrible sensation in your stomach that formulates when you go from feeling sheer happiness to utter dread in the s.p.a.ce of a second.

"Know what, Bryce?"

He walked over to me and cupped my face. "How long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough to hear that you have to tell me something that you know will upset me." I laughed. f.u.c.k, I really am crazy cackling witch on crack.

"Are you okay, Hunny? You look like you have been crying."

"Yeah I have, but trust me there are no more salty menaces alive in this body. I have completely and utterly evicted them all, so, whatever you have to tell me, say it. Fire away." I ran my hands up my face and interlaced them on top of my head, waiting for his bad news. Bryce grabbed them, and pulled them down into his own hands then smiled.

"You're wearing Brylexis!"

"Yep." I smiled back at him.

"What's Brylexis?" Lucy came over and looked at my hand. "Oh, that is Brylexis, cute." She put her hands on both our shoulders. "Bryce, what do you want me to do? Organise it now, or for later?" He looked at me with sorrow, then back to Lucy.

"Now, organise it now. I want to get it over and done with."

"Okay, I'll be back shortly." She squeezed his shoulder, and gave me a rea.s.suring smile then hurried out the door. I released my hands from his and wrapped them around his waist bringing myself into his peaceful arms.

"So, are you going to tell me what's wrong? Trust me, after the night I have just had with Rick, I can pretty much take anything you throw at me." He pulled away, concern and fear on his face.

"The night you had with Rick? What happened?"

"You first."

"No, you first." He was stern and conflicted with his new secret, but I was still harbouring crazy witch crack and burst into laughter. "Alexis, are you okay. You seem a bit, I don't know, a part of me wants to hug you because you seem sad, but a part of me wants to haul you over my shoulder, take you up stairs, and have my way with you because you also look deliriously happy."

"Well, why don't you do both then? Right after you tell me what you have to of course."

"Once I tell you, you may only want the hug, which is fine, I'm more than happy to have just a hug, I..."

"Bryce, just f.u.c.king tell me! You're starting to p.i.s.s me off." I narrowed my eyes at him and stood back. He ran his hands through his hair, clenched his fists and twitched his eye. s.h.i.t, all three in succession, I better sit down.

"f.u.c.k." He growled. "Okay, come with me. I need to get you away from this bal.u.s.trade." He led me into the lounge and sat me on the sofa, then paced back and forth a few times before stopping and kneeling at my feet. Just as he was about to say something Lucy walked through the door.

"Thank f.u.c.k, your timing couldn't be better. Did you get what you needed?"

"Yes, what I needed is in the foyer."

"Good." He turned back to me. "Okay, Hunny, I'm sorry you have to hear this from me, but you have the right to know the truth. s.h.i.t, here goes. I know you hate how we conduct creepy research but we do it for a reason. We do it to protect ourselves and the ones we love, and we love you. d.a.m.n do we love you. I love you more than it is f.u.c.king imaginable." I smiled at him and touched his face. "Hunny stop smiling at me. This hard enough to say to you as it is already, let alone if you are smiling at me. When Rick said he didn't have the affair, I didn't believe him, so I asked Lucy to dig deeper. I was sure he was lying, things just didn't add up." I went to interrupt him, to tell him he was a good judge of character, but he put his finger to my lips. "Please, don't stop me, Hunny. So, Lucy looked into his bank accounts and found he was transferring money into Claire's account every month, and has been doing it for five years." I tried to speak again, because I was now interested in finding out just how much Rick had been paying her. He kissed my lips to prevent me from speaking. Where's baby Alexander? I scanned the room quickly looking for the little adorable bundle of cuteness. I didn't know where he was and it was really bugging me. Bryce carried on talking while I searched for Alexander. "I know, my love, I'm sorry, but I'm not done yet. So..." This time I did interrupt.

"Lucy, where's Alexander?" Both her and Bryce looked at each other shocked, then back at me again.

"He's upstairs asleep in his cot. Why?" She shook her head rather briefly.

"Oh, no reason, I was just wondering where he was, that's all."

"Alexis, are you listening to me?" Bryce put his hands on either side of my head and turned me to face him.

"Yes, I'm listening. You didn't believe Rick was telling the truth, so you got Lucy to conduct more creepy research, she did, and found Rick was paying Claire money to keep her mouth shut about their affair five years ago. Yes, I'm listening." He leaned back on his knees and stared wide eyed at me. "Oh, by the way, how much was he paying her? I forgot to ask him that last night." Bryce looked at Lucy, who shot him a blank expression.

"$2,000 a month for five years." She said slowly.