"If weighing out your options is what you have to do Lex, then do it."

We finally fell asleep after one of our longest deep and meaningful conversations ever.

Carls had been snoring which woke me up earlier than usual. Maybe she should have slept in with Mum, afterall? She was so cute in her pink leopard print PJs, so much so, that I wanted to give her a kiss. I leaned over and pulled a lipstick out of her makeup bag, aRavishing Rouge' perfect. I put it on thickly, and with a wet wipe in hand, ready to wipe the evidence off my lips before she noticed, I forcefully placed a kiss on her forehead.

"Wake up, b.i.t.c.h." I turned my head instantly and wiped the red residue off my lips.

"f.u.c.k off, I was sleeping." She grumpily turned over, so I pulled the blankets off and flicked the elastic band on the waist of her pajama pants.

"Get up! You are going to help me bake a cake today, then we are painting each other's toenails, while eating popcorn and watching Bridesmaids." She opened her eyes ever so slightly and scowled at me, I had to refrain from laughing, instead grinning at her like the Cheshire Cat.

"There's no way I'm eating popcorn while painting your toe nails, that's just foul."

"What? You know what I mean, get up."

Charli, Nate, Carls and I trashed Mum's kitchen but made the yummiest Lemon/Lime Meringue Cake to have ever existed. Poor Carly had no idea what was aso funny' during breakfast and the cake making process. My family had all been at the end of one of her jokes at some stage in their lives, so we all thought it appropriate not to inform her of the extra set of red lips on her forehead.

Dad decided he would take the kids to a clearance sale just outside of Shepparton for a couple of hours, allowing the three of us to conduct pedicures and watch Bridesmaids. In hindsight this was not a very good idea, because every time you tried to complete a perfectly steady brush stroke, you would start hysterically laughing and cover your entire toe. Mum was absolutely hopeless at both the painting and the receiving, especially during the moment in the movie when the girls were trying on their dresses, and unfortunately had to suddenly deal with a horrible bout of vomiting and diarrhoea as a result of food poisoning. She laughed so hard, she kicked me in the face with her foot, smearing what polish I had put on across my cheek. Carls thought it was hilarious of course and had mentioned that Karma was a malicious b.i.t.c.h who always had the last laugh.

As we got ready for our night out, I smiled genuinely for the first time since my heart was torn in two. I may have been in the love triangle from h.e.l.l, and in the midst of a f.u.c.ked up combination of l.u.s.t, love, bribery and lies, but strangely enough I was also grateful, grateful and thankful for my family and friends. I loved them all dearly, and was blessed to have them in my life. At the end of the day, there was always somebody far worse off than you, and what you feel to be like the end of the world, was probably only trivial to them.

CHAPTER TWENTY.

The pub wasn't enormous by any means, but as pubs go, this one was definitely on the larger side. I guess it probably had to be considering it was the only pub in Shepparton that had a decent band. As you walked through the door, you pa.s.sed a counter where a bouncer scanned your ID, which I found hilarious. h.e.l.lo aMr Bean on steroids', I'm 35, not 17! I should be flattered really, but I found it laughable when he seriously scrutinized my licence, then my face, then my licence again. He almost gave me a complex to the point where I was about to haul a.r.s.e to a mirror and check to see I hadn't morphed into another person. Once he was satisfied we were who our licences said we were, he waved us through.

We walked down maybe six or so steps and along a corridor into a s.p.a.cious underground room. I noticed not only how busy the pub was, but also the large stage. On it was a lovely black grand piano, drum kit and all the equipment required of a band, it faced the bar which was on the opposite wall approximately fifteen metres away, and to our left spanning that entire wall. We headed straight for it, and were lucky to secure the last three seats there.

Jen had chosen to be the designated driver as she wasn't in favour of a hangover with a 5 a.m. feed scheduled, and between her and Carly, they had found a complete outfit for me to wear. I had on a pair of dark denim skinny jeans, black pumps, a white drapey tank top, and a long layered gold necklace. Carls had also put long loose curls through my hair, giving me a new look. She did, however, try to convince me to chop it short, but I didn't trust her with a pair of scissors, especially after the alipstick lips' I had left on her forehead that morning.

"So, what have you been up to Carls?" Jen hadn't seen Carly for about a year now, so while they caught up on each other's lives I thought I'd catch up on a well needed trip to the toilet.

"I'll be back in a minute." I said as I made my way to the lady's room. I began the treacherous journey to the loo, weaving in and out of person upon person, when I came across a small group of tradesmen. You always know when at least one of them is going to make a smart a.r.s.e remark because they sn.i.g.g.e.r to themselves and then look at the one who either has the biggest b.a.l.l.s, or who has had the most to drink and thinks he is G.o.d's gift to women. I spotted this particular atool' in question and prepared myself for the derogative comment which was soon to be fired my way.

"Hey, I like a hot cougar. If you are looking for a seat I've got one right here." He pointed to his lap. I kept my steady pace, and as I pa.s.sed them, I stared him down.

"Cougar? Really? If I were a Cougar I'd bite your f.u.c.king head off, you stupid s.h.i.t." I smiled mockingly at him and continued on my way to the toilet.

Pub toilets were always very interesting. When you first enter, you are automatically greeted with a queue of at least three other women because for some reason, there are never more the two cubicles. Secondly, while you wait, you become pa.s.sively informed of how one achick is a slapper' and has been hitting on another achick's boyfriend'. If that is not riveting enough, when you finally get into the cubicle you put your quadriceps through h.e.l.l as you squat; hovering just above the filthy toilet seat for fear of touching it. Then, while your thighs tremble and burn, you gain the ever so life changing information that is written on the walls. So far I had read, aShaz Luv's Mick 4 Eva', aSally Jones was here in 07', and how to play as.h.i.thouse Tennis' by following the written directions on the cubicle walls. Look to your left-Okay, looking to my left. Now look to your right-Okay, now looking to my right. Look to your left-Okay, now looking back to my left. Look to your right-Okay, now looking back to my right. f.u.c.k! Stupid game. After looking from one side of the cubicle to the other and back again, I was now bored and frustrated at myself for falling for the stupid game in the first place, then to top it all off I discovered there was an absence of toilet paper. Fear not, Alexis, you are a human tissue box at the moment. I secretly applauded myself for having a tissue and not having to vigorously shake. I finished up the wonderful ritual of Pub Toileting by squirting the liquid soap, not in my hand but on the vanity top. Why do I always do that?

I made my way back to the bar, but not before I was greeted with a wolf whistle from my tradesmen afriend'. I politely flipped him the bird and stepped up my pace, now desperate for something alcoholic.

"f.u.c.k, I hope that clear looking drink is either Gin or Vodka and that it is for me?" Before waiting for an answer, I consumed it anyway. The look on my face must've said it all because Carly burst into laughter and Jen looked annoyed. "Jen, water, really?" I flagged down the barman.

"Yes, water, and I'll have another one thanks." She was clearly annoyed that she was now without a drink, so I ordered two shots of Black Sambuca for Carly and me, followed by Malibu with c.o.ke, and replaced Jen's water supply. All three of us clinked our gla.s.ses together, toasting to a good night ahead. Suddenly, the G.o.d-awful squeal from the microphone along with the annoying tap that usually followed, cleared out my ear ca.n.a.l.

"Excuse me, everybody, I need to inform you that Rural Science will not be playing tonight due to unforseen circ.u.mstances." A few people voiced their disappointment with boos and hisses. "Now, now," the manager said as he put up his hands to rea.s.sure the crowd. "The replacement band-Live Trepidation-are very good, and they will be starting in just a minute." Ah c.r.a.p! I was looking forward to Rural Science.

Live Trepidation started to make their way on stage. The lead singer repeated the aggravating microphone tap and introduced the band. He looked somewhat familiar but I couldn't place it, I'd probably seen them before somewhere. The drummer tapped his sticks four times, and they got straight into it, playing Vertigo by U2. I already liked them, what a great song to kick off with. Everyone else seemed to think the same, and the atmosphere in the room went from doubtful to relief almost instantly. They played another six songs or so then took a break.

"I really like them, they're great! I wonder if they are local or from Melbourne?"

"I'd say they are from Melbourne, Lex, they don't look like a typical country town band," said Carls.

"Yeah, you're probably right." I reckoned Steph would like them too, so I made a mental note to look in to it when I returned home, we might just have to become sad little groupies! We spun our chairs back round to where the barman was already standing before us, and waiting to serve the next round.

"What's it going to be this time, ladies?" He was sort of cute, a bit like the boy-next-door, but with an edge to him. I thought he could be just the type of guy Carly might like to have a bit of fun with. I looked at her, but she was fixated on someone across the room, so I gave her a nudge.

"What do you want to drink, Carls?"

"You pick, I've got my eye on that hottie over there in the black shirt." Jen and I both looked in the direction she was pointing.

"That's Leigh, sorry he's engaged." We all spun back round to the barman who shrugged his shoulders apologetically.

"Aw, s.h.i.t. Right, I'm scanning again." Carly rotated once more and began searching the room. I smiled and raised my eyebrows at the barman.

"What about you Mr. Barman, are you taken?" He gave me a cheeky grin. Carls however, was oblivious to the match making session I was having for her, so I kept my scheme alive by gathering further information. "So, what's your name?"

"Lucas."

"Well, Lucas, are you single or not?" Jen laughed, she seemed to be enjoying herself a little more now, after I had convinced her to have at least one drink. She was no longer breast feeding so there was no harm, and one drink would not lead to a hangover, not even for her!

"Yes."

Excellent! "Hey Carls, meet Lucas." She didn't turn round; instead, she hit me on the arm. The band started to play November Rain by Guns and Roses, I recognised the song straight away because I loved it, it had to be one of my all-time favourite songs, and whoever was playing the piano was very good. I would've glanced over to them, but I was having too much fun with Lucas. "Lucas, Carly is 35 and single, she likes dancing, beaches and long walks in the sand..." Jen and I began to giggle even Lucas thought it was funny.

"Alexis."

"What, Carly? Now it's your turn, Lucas."

"No, Alexis." What? It's just harmless match making. I looked at her, but she was looking at the band.

"I'm just having a little fun, Carls. Anyway, he's cute, what have you got to lose?" I winked at Lucas.

"No, Alexis, isn't that Bryce? Up on stage?" What the f.u.c.k? I spun round, too quickly mind you, because if had it not been for my legs slamming into the person next to me, I would have performed a complete 360. I frantically scanned the stage but didn't see him. The only people with spotlights on them were the lead singer and the pianist, so it was the brunette sitting at the piano who I recognised at first.

"It's Lucy, oh my G.o.d!" She looked up slightly and displayed the smirk that Bryce and her must have inherited from someone in their family. What the h.e.l.l? My cheeks flushed, then I spotted Bryce standing on the stage in shadow and my entire body reacted to his presence. There was no way I could mistake that silhouette, let alone mistake the sensation that now pulsed in between my legs, a sensation only he could render.

My heart started pounding in my chest as I realised he was on that stage for me, but it wasn't until the lead singer began his vocals, that I also realised, this song was chosen to deliver me a message, a message contained in the song's lyrics. I listened to the very words Bryce was delivering through the song. He was telling me that when he looked into my eyes he could see my love for him was now restrained. Which it was, and I hated that it was. But, he had gone behind my back, and when I had given him the opportunity to confess what he was hiding, he had chosen not to. I desperately wanted to close my eyes so that he could not read me so easily, but I couldn't, I couldn't take my eyes from his shaded figure which looked as s.e.xy as h.e.l.l. I knew he was looking at me, too, because I could feel it. I could feel the heat that radiated from his shadowy, burning gaze as he watched my reaction to the message he was delivering.

Jen raised her voice just enough to ask Carly which one he was. "That taller one. Over there, with the guitar." Carls quite obviously pointed directly at him.

"I can't really see him, it's too dark."

"Just wait Jen, you won't miss him, I promise." Carly was spot on, there was not one woman in this room that would miss him when those lights switched on, he was like a magnet that drew you to him, and right now I was magnetised to his message that continued to convey his understanding of how I felt. He knew it was hard for me to love him now, but I had done it before and I could do it again, and he would wait for me and give me the time on my own if I needed it. Geezus, he's good, he knows just how to communicate with me. The lights came on and he began to play. Oh, Holy f.u.c.k, he is sensational. He is up on stage, playing the guitar in a song that gives me chills, and he is playing it for me.

Jen made a noise. "You're right Carly, I know what you mean." I could see her fanning her face from the corner of my eye, then stopping abruptly when she realised what she was doing. Feminine wolf whistles started sounding throughout the room, along with a few shout outs about the ahotness factor' of the guitarist. He, as per usual, was oblivious to the salivating women around him, and only had eyes for me as he made his way off the stage, casually playing his chords and heading my way. Oh s.h.i.t! I watched as the amp cord connected to his guitar started to unravel as he made his way toward me. A security guard made sure the extra-long cord did not get in anybody's way as it dragged along the ground behind him. The muscles in between my legs started to tremble, and wake up from their many days in solitude, and as I watched his d.a.m.n s.e.xy as h.e.l.l, slow, and seductive walk in my direction, my heart skipped a beat. "He's coming over here," Jen whispered to Carly.

Everyone in the room seemed to follow him, as this was an unusual display from a pub band. It was also due to the fact he looked unbelievably hot, and everyone knew the guitar solo was not too far away. He stopped his s.e.xy walk directly in front of me, and gave me one h.e.l.l of a smirk. I held my breath and offered one back then watched as he played the solo. Again, I was in awe and sheer pleasure at how he held the guitar when he fingered the longer notes, and how they moved with fast precision up and down the finger board, like they were simply put on this earth to do only that. Of course I knew that was not the case, as his fingers were quite capable of performing many other wonderful things, things that I knew I had to experience again, and in order to do that, I had to forgive him.

He finished the first solo, stood back, and eyed me ferociously. Oh, Mr. Clark, you know I will cave for you, and you know just how to make me do it. I remembered what that look meant the last time he finished playing for me, and I desperately wanted it to mean the same thing. Just the thought of it had me aching for his c.o.c.k to be inside me, it was simply uncontrollable. I hate you right now. I hate you. I let out my breath, a breath I was not sure how long I had been holding, I'm a.s.suming it was a while though because my chest was hurting and I was panting for the need of more oxygen. f.u.c.k, I must look like a b.i.t.c.h in heat. Stop panting like a dog, Alexis!

He finished the second solo, leaned in, kissed me on the cheek and whispered in my ear. "I will give you time on your own, if you really want it." He pulled away and searched my eyes. I could see his sorrow and hope that I did not need the time he was offering me, so I shook my head ever so slightly and mouthed the words akiss me'. He didn't hesitate and grabbed my face, planting a pa.s.sionate but quick kiss on my lips. He pulled away with the biggest smile and basically jogged back to the stage ready for the end of the song, with the security guard frantically scooping up the amp cord behind him.

I turned to Carly who had nearly fallen off her seat, and then looked at Jen who resembled the big mouth at Luna Park. "He is good, really good." Jen said, simply stunned. I did try to warn her of the enormity that was Bryce, but I guess she hadn't taken me seriously. Lucy began to emphasize the piano lead up to Bryce's finish. He stepped up onto a chair then on top of the piano just like Slash had in the song's film clip. I laughed and clapped my hands at his showmanship. Then right before he began the coda to the end, he pointed to me, winked, and played the absolute s.h.i.t out of it. I was in love, it was one of the best performances I think I have ever witnessed, and that wasn't because his performance was for me. It was simply because he was brilliant. Everyone cheered for the spectacle he had just put on in front of them, but they also cheered at the sheer brilliance of his guitar playing ability. He was fantastic, and everyone loved it. He held that last note till it died down, then jumped off the piano and put his Les Paul Guitar on top of it. He turned around and made his way toward me. What do I do? I knew exactly what I wanted to do, and couldn't help myself. I pushed off my stool and ran to him, jumping and wrapping my legs around his waist.

I swear the room went completely silent as our lips met, and as they met, the unbearable torment of waiting for their reunion together with the desperate craving and withdrawal I had felt over the last few days, vanished. At first it felt like we were the only two people in the room, but that was until I realised the room was not silent at all, in fact, the roar and applause were deafening. I had been physically and mentally empty the past few days, but now as Bryce thrust his tongue into my mouth, and clenched my a.r.s.e with force, he filled the void, making me feel somewhat satisfied again and he seemed to do it so easily. He walked me out of the room and into the area the band went for intermission. Oh Holy c.r.a.p I have missed this. We continued the reunion of our mouths, desperately and aggressively ravaging each other. I ran my hands through his hair as he pressed me to him tightly, and if it weren't for the fact that as humans, we need to inhale air, I probably would not have pulled away. Our noses were resting on each other's as we caught our breath, and as he went to revive our kissing again, I stopped him.

"Wait, Bryce, we need to talk."

"Then talk my love."

"Not here."

"Where?"

"Upstairs." I caught his fiendish smile. "It's not what you're thinking Bryce."

"It's only a matter of time, Alexis," he said confidently. I had to agree, it would be only a matter of time before we were f.u.c.king each other senseless again. Our cravings and need for one another was just too strong.

I unwrapped my legs and walked back into the still cheering and crowded room. As I led him to the bar, he signalled the band with his athumbs up', they all reciprocated, even Lucy. We stopped in front of Carls and Jen, and as per usual no one could find any words.

"Jen, this is Bryce. Bryce this is my younger sister, Jen." He took her hand and kissed the top of it. She went crimson and looked to me in horror. I smirked. I think that f.u.c.king smirk is now contagious. "Carls you've met Bryce."

"Yes, I most certainly have". She shot her hand out ready for it to be kissed too. Bryce humbly obliged her forwardness.

"We need a few moments upstairs." I looked at Jen apologetically, but she knew exactly what I wanted to discuss with him. Carls on the other hand had her mind well and truly in the gutter.

"Yes, it appears the two of you definitely need a room." I glared at her as Bryce hastily led me upstairs.

"Do you know where we are going?" I asked as he practically dragged me out of the room.

"Up."

"Yes, I gathered that, but where?"

"Anywhere."

We went up a few flights of stairs, past the accommodation levels and to a door which read aRoof Top Garden'. Fortunately, there was n.o.body up there as it appeared everyone was downstairs in the bar. I watched him roll a rather large heavy pot plant in front of the door in order to prevent anyone from disturbing us, then he stood back, and brushed his hands together looking quite happy with himself. He turned and made his way towards me, once again displaying a s.e.xy, desperate need for me. I threw my arms around his neck, as our lips and tongue reuniting again. I automatically went up on my tippy toes for the need of extra height, so he wrapped his arms around my lower waist and lifted me, spinning us both around. Deep down, I knew I needed to stop him, to let him know I had boundaries now, and rules. I had to let him know that I was not putty in his hands and that I could resist him if I wanted to. The problem was, I obviously did not want to, and he knew it.

"Bryce?"

"Uh huh?" He did not want to break our kiss.

"Stop kissing me."

"No, Ms. Summers, are you crazy?" I giggled, which seemed to do the trick and break the kiss, so I pulled away while I had the chance, and looked into his compelling eyes, eyes filled with complete joy, and eyes filled with love for me.

"Sit down, I have a few things I need to say."

He sighed then conceded. "I know." We walked over to the cast iron patio setting near the brick bal.u.s.trade and took a seat. I inhaled a few deep breaths, and quickly ran over a few things in my head before actually opening my mouth to speak. Right, do it.

"Rick came up Tuesday and stayed." I watched his body go rigid, so continued instantly. "He needed to see the kids, and they needed to see him. It also gave us a chance to talk." He didn't move, just sat there quietly, letting me speak. "I'm not angry with him anymore, and I'm not angry with you anymore either. Don't get me wrong, I'm f.u.c.king hurt by what you both did, but I've also come to realise this is all partly my fault too." He went to object, so I hushed him, not only with my finger and sharp ashhh' but also with my piercing stare. "Yes, I am partly at fault. I flirted with you and crossed too many lines when I shouldn't have, and that was wrong. Rick deserved better than that. Now, that being said, he knows he f.u.c.ked up, and he knows he should never have accepted the money. He also now realises that you and I are in love, and he pointed out that if he had recognized that before accepting your money, he would never have taken it." Bryce rolled his eyes, and that p.i.s.sed me off. "Don't sit there and f.u.c.king mock him." My tone seemed to shock him. "Rick and I have been together for a very long time, Bryce, and he loves me very much. So, yes, I believe him when he says he has made a huge mistake." He shifted in his seat and showed the first sign of worry. "You should never have offered him money Bryce. Did you not stop and think for one second that I would find out eventually?"

"I knew you would find out."

"Yet, you did it anyway, knowing how disgusting, hurtful, and wrong it was. I knew you were hiding something from me, and I gave you many times to confess, instead you chose to lie to me by omission."

He leaned forward and clasped both his hands together.

"Yes, I knew how wrong it was, it tore me apart every time I saw the hurt you felt and every time you blamed yourself. It f.u.c.king killed me, Alexis, and it frightened the h.e.l.l out of me to think that when you found out what I had done, you would leave me. I couldn't tell you because I had to show you just how much I loved you first, to make you see that no matter what happened we would overcome anything. Hunny don't you see? All I could do before the truth came out was convince you that we belonged together, and that I couldn't possibly love anybody as much as I love you. You know that, don't you?" I do, how could I not?

"Yes, I know you love me, but things have changed. Rick did not cheat on me, and that was a big factor in deciding I was going to start a new life again."

Bryce squinted his eyes and clenched his fist.

"What?"

"Nothing, I just don't believe it."

"Believe what?"

"That Claire set him up."

"You saw the photos, Bryce, it was clear he did not want her there." I noticed the pained look on his face. I think he desperately wanted Rick to be guilty.

"Things aren't always what they seem Alexis, I will find out the truth."

"You need to stop with the creepy research, Bryce. It's wrong."

"No. Research plays a vital part of what I do and who I am. What I need to do is make sure my research is fool-proof, which obviously it wasn't in this case."

"No, Bryce, it wasn't." We sat there in silence for a minute stubbornly a.s.sessing each other. "I've decided I am now single, unattached, and neutral. Switzerland if you may." He let out a laugh and sat back smirking. "Do you find that funny, Mr. Clark?"