I don't know. I'm home by myself. Getting ready for bed.

Sounds nice. I could come over and tuck you in?

Goodnight Jesse!

I thought tonight was a Jason night?

I couldn't believe it. He had been stalking me for so long he knew my all date nights.

I guess it got cancelled.

Are you are okay?

I'm fine. We are just on a little break.

What does that mean exactly? A couple of weeks apart and then you see where you guys stand or what???

Maybe. Who knows.

As long as you are okay, Niki...So since you are "on a break", how about that sext? :-) Back to that are we? :) I was grinning from ear to ear. His messages had put a smile back on my face at the end of a sour night. The texts had been flying back and forth rapid fire speed, when suddenly there was a pause. My heart jumped. He wasn't responding. Finally another text came, Niki, believe in yourself. You are beautiful, very beautiful, and smart. You are the smartest person I know. I'm not just texting a bunch of bullshit. Seriously, I think there is something very special about you.

Can I take you out tomorrow night if you are free?...if you would rather wait, then soon...

My heart melted a little and I sat up straighter on the bed. Fuck it, I need this right now. I'm going for it. I took a deep breath and answered.

Took you long enough to ask. Lol! But the odds are against us.

Fuck the odds. We'll make our own odds.

Chapter Sixteen.

Jesse Thirty more minutes and I was outta here. I rushed through my end of shift duties at work. Chase came walking out of the front to where I was stacking boxes of vodka in the back hallway.

"So who's your prom date for tonight, Cinderella?" He was busting my chops. He knew I was in a hurry to get to a date. He tossed me a bottle of disinfectant spray and a rag.

"Niki."

Chase raised his eyebrows. "Niki?"

"Kat is playing tonight at Hotel Cafe in Hollywood. It's open mic night and Niki and I are going."

"No fucking way. What about..." I held up a hand. I wasn't the National Inquirer and I didn't want to go into the details right now. I told it like it was, short and sweet.

"She dumped the muther fucker."

"Huh." He sounded astounded.

"Technically, she says they are on a break. But I know what that means."

"What the hell, it works for me. Way to go, champ." He gave me a high five and walked into Kenny's office.

Ever since coming to California I had experienced "good days," and occasionally they accumulated into weeks. More and more I felt like my "old self," the affectionate and charming guy my friends back in New York had cherished. And now, this girl, this incredibly amazing creature just walked into my life and I felt so passionate about her. Things were heading in the right direction.

Tonight, after "stalking" her for a week or so, I was going to have a real date, quality time alone with her, just the two of us. Holy shit, I couldn't stop thinking about her lips and kissing her again. It had been a whole week since we kissed at the beach. Pace yourself, Jesse. I should go slow. Very slow. I didn't want to fuck this one up, but sometimes my cock has had a mind of its own. Jesus fuck, I was nauseous.

My shift was finally over and I high tailed it home for a quick shower before picking up Niki. It was like running on air. My head were in the sky. Every fucking love song I knew was running through my mind, all of them making sense now.

An hour later I parked my truck at her apartment and skipped up the step to her door. She opened the door and Holy shit, she took my breath away. Her long dark hair was hanging in those big curls that made we want to grab a fist full and pull her lips to mine. Those perfectly sculpted luscious lips. I wanted them all to myself and all over my body. She had on a light colored tight fitting and a short dress. I looked down the length of her bare legs. They ended in those hot heels girls call "fuck me" shoes. For the love of God, dressed like that, she was making it hard for me not to be a dickhead and jump her bones right here and now.

"Damn, you look hot, Niki."

"Thank you. I'm ready to go if you are." Her smile melted me.

I stepped back allowing her to go first. The light scent of her perfume rolled across my senses as she passed. The desire to hold her hot body pressed up against mine, on cool white sheets, flashed through my mind. I put my fist to my mouth and faked a cough, to cover the involuntary groan that threatened to erupt from my throat. She thought I sneezed and sweetly said "bless you" as she stepped down to the sidewalk. She was so fucking cute and ladylike. I didn't want to mess this up by going all caveman on her. I saw myself messing up all that dark hair, as we twisted in deep kisses. It was driving me crazy. She was the best thing in my sorry ass life right now. I don't know what I did to bring on this kind of sweet karma, but I sure as hell didn't want it to go away. Fucking ever.

We rolled into the parking lot behind the Hotel Cafe with just a few minutes to spare before Kat would go on stage. On the drive over I kept up a mantra, "keep your dick in your pants, just keep your dick in your pants" to myself. I figured if I kept repeating it enough times, it would distract my urge to rip that tight dress off her body, possessing her right here in the front seat of my truck. I wanted this girl so bad.

Open mic night was already under way when we walked in. It was dark, except for the lights on the performer on stage where Kat was about to go on. There were no tables available up front but that was cool. We scored a cozy, round table in the back, suited to my liking, very secluded.

"This is really nice, Jesse." She sat down and I got right next to her. Goose bumps rose up on my inked skin when a strand of her long hair tickled my arm. In all my exuberance I had moved a little too close. She giggled and pulled all of her hair to one side of her neck with her hand.

Oh fuck.

Now my eyes were glued to her long perfectly exposed neck. Right next to me. Within striking distance. I thought I could just die in her arms tonight, like a fucking eighties song.

"Can I get you a drink?" I turned away looking for the waitress. Something twitched in my pants. Damn.

"After last night, I need one. It's not easy going on a break even when you know in your heart it's over. Do you know what I mean?"

"It's his loss. He doesn't know what an idiot he is for letting you go. But I'm glad he did. Finally I get to take you out."

I kept looking for a waitress but there were none in sight, so I stepped up to the bar, returning with a Coors light and a glass on white wine. I leaned in with my elbows on the table, angling my body to keep her pinned under my gaze. "You know, tonight is a new beginning and I want to know everything about you." I took a swig from my beer. "Tell me, what's up with that designer school? Chase told me that you were planning on going to law school as well?"

She was right in the middle of taking a sip of her wine. Seems my words interrupted her ability to swallow and she nearly choked.

"Hey there, are you okay? Is law school a bad word?"

"Law school, well." She gave a big sigh. "That's a long story and it's just that it reminds me of some of the shit I've been going through lately."

"What do you mean?

"Let's just say, my dad and I don't see eyes to eye on a lot of things. He wants me to go to law school and as you know I'm taking fashion design classes right now. "

"Yea, I kind of wondered about that. The day I was "stalking" you at lunch I kind of thought it was strange that you were taking fashion classes when you just got your B.A."

"God Jesse, you don't know the half of it. You don't know what it's been like for me. All these years I've always done what my dad wants. And he's so intimidating and controlling. "

"Just do what you want. You are an adult and it's your life, Niki. The past is history and tomorrow, well tomorrow is just a mystery. "

"That's very prosaic," She chuckled. "But you don't know my dad. He's a bulldog and a fighter. He doesn't give up easily when it comes to getting his way."

"Hmm. So I take it you haven't told him yet that you're taking these fashion classes." She shook her head and pushed her lips together hard, like it was difficult for her to say what she wanted.

"What about your mom? What does she think of all this?"

"My mother died when I was twelve."

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"It's okay. It was a long time ago, back when everything changed. We were one big happy family. My dad didn't seem so, so...intense back then. I mean he worked a lot but he was a lawyer, so it was to be expected."

"I know what you mean."

"After my mom died I couldn't cope. I think I was too much for my dad to handle. He tried to deal with it, but he just wasn't the kind of person that was cut out for a preteen with problems. And I was a handful, believe me. I went on rages and screamed and freaked out, I just let all my emotions go, like I had no control of them. I thought that if I screamed enough maybe I could scream away all the hurt and anger." She took a sip of her wine. "Guess that strategy didn't work. My dad sent me away to boarding school in New York. Can you believe that?"

After a moment, her body relaxed and she slumped down into her seat again. "I felt so emotionally abandoned." Her gaze drifted off to a corner in the room as if it were some imaginary day in her past. I reached out and took her hand. She gave me a little smile and I rubbed the back of her hand with my thumb. She was so fucking sweet, I couldn't picture anyone abandoning her. I wanted to find her dad and punch his fucking lights out. What a shithead, abandon his twelve year old daughter like that.

"Didn't he even try to help you? Get you some therapy maybe?"

"Oh, he did. The schools he sent me to were not the kind of boarding schools for rich kids. These schools had therapy as their focus, you know for troubled kids. It was supposed to be a brief stint while he figured out his next move. But it ended up being nearly four years that I lived away from home and he was no closer to understanding me at the end of all of that, than he is now. My worst fear is that it may be too late to ever have a decent relationship like other fathers and daughters. I have a lot of "issues" and self-doubt as a result of it all. Yea, I know, thanks a lot dad, what an inheritance."

"No. Really? You, a troubled teen? I can't see that." I feigned disbelief. I couldn't picture this sweet girl ever getting in trouble.

"Well, it's true. I'm not proud of some of the things I've done in the past, but I'm more hopeful now. I finished college. I did it his way for four years. Now it's my turn to finally take control of my own life." She sat up and squared her shoulders with an air of confidence.

"That's what I like so much about you, Niki. I can see the determination in your eyes. It's like there's a fire burning in there." She blushed and looked down. I took her hand in both of mine and pressed it to my lips. "And like I said in my text, you are a very special person." I took a moment to drink her all in, enjoying the tactile pleasure of her skin on my lips. It tasted good and I wanted like hell to taste the rest of her.

"You know, Niki, if you want to talk about life changes, I've got a hell of a story for you." She cocked her head to the side, curious to hear.

"Jesse Morrison? King of "dangerous cool" has a sordid past? The guy with a trail of drooling women tripping over his heels at every step? Why, I could throw a damn rock and hit a hundred other women eagerly waiting for you to grace them with your presence." She was being sarcastic. I got it. I'm a dickhead.

"Don't be so hard on me. I'm a sensitive mother fucker. I watch chic flicks with a box of Kleenex, tacos and a beer. And that tear rolling down my face at the end of the movie, is not from the strong onions in my taco." She swatted my arm. It was good to see her smile. I was overwhelmed with the urge to protect her. Hell, I was a shark and although we hadn't known each other long, I already knew I would slay dragons for her.

"So, what's your story Jesse? You came out of nowhere with your bulging biceps, a charming smile and that hot "Carpe Diem" tattoo. I bet if I looked at your cell phone it would be blown up with messages from some poor broken hearted girl you left in New York."

I was getting lost in giving little kisses to her hand while she talked. I didn't want to let it go. Her skin on my lips. She wanted to talk, communicate, verbalize. Shit, I wanted to touch, get busy and fuck. Reluctantly, I released her hand from my lips and set it back down on the table.

"My life story is one sorry ass story." I leaned back ready to spill my guts. "No, I didn't leave a girl pregnant back in New York." Her eyes popped out and she sat up with her mouth open.

"I didn't say pregnant. Wait. No. Did you?" She gasped.

"No-oh. You were thinking it though. Thanks a lot, Niki." My eyes narrowed with humor. I enjoyed watching her twist in her seat, so I continued the ruse. "Now I know what you really think of me."

"I didn't, I didn't mean..." Her cheeks pinked up so cute when she was flustered. It was a little dark in the bar to see it, but I'm sure they were bright.

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding already." She relaxed again, shooting me a look that threatened playful revenge. "The truth is, I'm a jackass. I was living with my brother Jimmy and his wife. I just kept fucking up. I had everything going for me, my career was on fire. I was racing and doing great and then..."

"You had the accident that messed up your leg and hand, right?"

"Yea, I did, but that's not what really fucked with my head. My mom, she, she's not well...she tried to commit suicide a year ago. I whine and cry that my hand will never heal, but shit, that's not what really sent me into a funk, it was my mother. I felt responsible for it, you know, like if I had been there for her, instead of all over the world racing, she wouldn't have done what she did. If I had been there she wouldn't still be confined to a fucking mental institution. So, I started drinking, drugging and well...whoring. You know the typical guy way to deal with emotions. Push them all down and drink them away."

"Did you get help? Go for any therapy?"

"Absolutely! My therapist's name was Jack. Jack Daniels. You may have heard of him."

"Yea, right." She pursed her lips and tucked her chin in, looking up at me with a little scold in her eyes. "Even now you are trying to dodge the issue, so your mom is in a mental hospital?"

"Well, it's more like a long term care hospital. She has to stay until she's well enough to be on her own. You know, well enough to not try killing herself again."

She laid her dainty hand on my forearm. "I'm so sorry Jesse but don't blame yourself. These things are complicated. The human mind is a mysterious thing and we are all driven by our emotions to do crazy things sometimes. I believe things happen for a reason. You are here in California, sitting here with me, right now because of all that."

She was really staring long and hard into my eyes. And hers were kind of half closed, very sexy looking. It would have taken an act of God to pull my gaze away from her face. I moved a little closer. My pulse was picking up and something was making my head feel dizzy, and it wasn't the alcohol this time. I was being real careful tonight not to drink too much around Niki.

Damn, I had to have those lips now.

I leaned over inhaling her scent and slipped my hand around the nape of her neck. I pulled her to me and filled my mouth with her softness. She leaned into the kiss. Yesss. She was submitting to my advance, twisting into the kiss, and I could feel her warm breath on my lips when she pulled away. God she was so sexy. And sweet. Her kisses tasted fucking sweet. I swear, like candy. I couldn't believe she would give a jerk like me the time of day, and here she was cuddling up next to me. I can't explain it, everything is just different with her. It was like she was my clarity, my remedy and I wasn't used to this, putting myself on the line. It made me feel raw and exposed, vulnerable I guess would be the word. It excited me and scared me at the same time. I think I found my heaven in this joint tonight.

Fuck, look at me, I'm such a pussy.

I was just getting my groove on with Niki when Kat announced her last song to the audience. She sounded amazing. I was surprised but she was very talented. Here I had thought she was all looks and no brains, or talent. After finishing her set Kat came to our table and ruined my monopoly on Niki. Shit, I was already becoming possessive of her attention. I wanted her all for myself, but I was different than that other asshole she just dumped. I can take it slow if that's what she wants. It will be hard, I mean difficult. Hard is what was happening in my damn pants every time I kissed her.

After a couple of hours we left Hotel Cafe with Kat and a couple of her friends who had showed up to watch her perform. We were headed towards Kat and Niki's place for a little after party. I was craving more alone time with Niki but that wasn't going to happen tonight.

Chapter Seventeen.

Niki My stomach fluttered as I waited for Jesse to pick me up. It was another summer day in California, the place where beautiful weather was included in the rent. Jesse rolled into the parking lot of my apartment complex in his big pickup truck and I hurried down the stairs to meet him.

"Ready for your tour of Santa Monica?" I asked as I crawled up into his giant of a truck."

"Sure, I mean, as long as you are my guide, we can do whatever you want."