"I know. I'm sorry. I'm glad I ran into you because I want to explain."

Aedyn placed his beer on the counter and the expression on his face softened.

"Lauren, I'm sorry. You've been through a lot and I'm acting like a jealous schoolboy. I have no right to act this way. Would you care to join me for lunch or a drink? I'm buying."

I shot a glance toward the door, then glanced at my watch knowing that Chip would be tied up most of the afternoon with work. Aedyn smiled at me, waiting for my answer, his eyes, blue and inviting. I moistened my lips as I felt the flesh on my arms rising into goose bumps. "Okay, sure. That would be great," I said and slid onto the bar stool next to him.

"Can I order some lunch for you?"

"No thanks. But I'll have a beer." I didn't think I could make it through sitting so close to Aedyn without something to distract my hands.

"So what's all the mystery about the boyfriend?"

"Fiance." I corrected him and wiggled my ring finger, admiring the beautiful stone. I dropped my hand when I saw his jaw tighten.

"It's beautiful."

I was quiet for a moment, not sure if I should go on. Technically, he was an old friend and I felt so relaxed around him, like I could tell him all my inner thoughts. But revealing my feelings would also make me vulnerable. Bottom line, I was scared and had lost confidence in myself. I had come to expect that all my actions would be wrong.

He peered into my face with a searching look. "Yes, go on..."

"Well..." I took a breath. "It's everything I thought I wanted, Aedyn. All those years we dated, I was dying for Chip to put a ring on my finger and now..."

Suddenly I felt self-conscious. I shoved my hand back in my lap, thinking I'd said too much and somehow Aedyn knew I had been thinking about him-fantasizing about us being together.

"It kind of sounds like you regret accepting it."

I didn't know how to answer.

"It's not too late. You don't have to marry the guy. You can give the ring back," he said with a slow smile as if he understood. On the surface he was trying to be a friend and help me work through my problem, but underneath his remarks, his body language, and tone were flirting and luring me in.

The smell of his fresh cologne drifted past my nose and I chastised myself. I shouldn't be doing this. I shouldn't have come to look for him and sit so temptingly close, staring at his lips and wondering what it'd be like to kiss them. How was I to answer when my pulse was jumping with excitement? I couldn't speak; I didn't have the answer myself. It was overwhelming. The magnetism was so intense with Aedyn right there in front of me, his blue eyes piercing me with every glance he threw my way, making me want to do things I shouldn't. His very presence disarmed me, pulling every ounce of logic right out of my brain and leaving me with my heart pounding. If there was a shortcut on the path to hell, I had just found it.

"I think we should talk about something else," I said, then reached out and stole a French fry from his plate with the hope that, if I shoved some food in my mouth, I wouldn't say something stupid.

Aedyn paused from taking another draught of beer and I felt the heat of his gaze. His eyes darted to my lips and he looked at me sideways for a long time with half-hooded eyes. His killer looks were making me flush as his gaze slid slowly and seductively over my body. He watched, never taking his eyes off me the entire time I chewed that damn fry. The heat was building between us, or at least I was on fire, although I couldn't determine if he was feeling the sparks. As usual, he remained cool and calm, noticeably unaffected. I was bewildered, seemingly powerless and under his control. All I could do was nervously glance at the door, worried that I'd be found out, as if anyone who walked in right now could see the fire building inside me.

I must have been crazy, or tipsy, and I concluded I really did have a death wish because another beer later, I was leaning into his arm, blabbering about old times, talking about my life and when I moved to Granger. I could easily blame this reaction as a side effect of the concussion, but in my heart I knew better.

"How old were you then?" Aedyn asked.

"Um... it was about a year after I moved here, so close to seventeen I think."

I sat, pitched forward on my bar stool, holding onto his arm for stability, feeling relaxed both from the beers and his warm personality. For the time being, my engagement was just an alcohol-induced lost memory and it was a relief to put it out of my mind for a while. It shouldn't have been, but it was.

"If you think about it, we've known each other a long time. We were friends in high school and now, after all these years, we're still friends. I feel just as close now as I did back then, maybe even closer."

"I guess you're right." He made a good point and now I knew he felt something too. I'd known Chip for just as many years and I'd been with him every day. Why didn't I feel all fluttery in my stomach and excited to see him anymore?

Oh yeah, I remembered, because Chip was a dick! I laughed at my internal joke while Aedyn just stared at me, a curious tilt to his head.

I had to pull myself together, people were turning to look my way. My emotions were getting the better of me and I felt a warm flush rise to my cheeks. "You know what, Aedyn?" We'd been talking for quite a while and I felt safe in saying, "I'm not sure if Chip makes me happy anymore." I rubbed the moisture from my beer glass into the surface of the bar. "I've had all the plans laid out for years. I bought one of those wedding planner books years ago, not long after Chip and I started dating, just waiting for the time to use it. I was so excited, I couldn't wait for the day when I'd start filling out the pages of the book. Now that the time has come... I just don't know... maybe I'm not as sure as I thought I was."

I reached for my upper arm, rubbing where the purple bruises from Chip's angry hands had faded to a pale yellow. Maybe, just like those bruises had faded, my sadness would fade once we were finally married. I could only hope. Tears stung at my eyes, but I didn't want Aedyn to see. I pinched my finger and thumb to the bridge of my nose to squeeze the tears away.

"Hey now," Aedyn said in a gentle voice. He reached over to wipe my tears. Feeling like a fool, I tried to bury my chin in my chest, but he lifted my face, forcing my gaze to his. My hands were trembling and all I wanted was for his lips to consume mine and for me to melt into his arms. He looked into my eyes, then down at my ring and said, "Maybe you need a break."

I blinked. A break from lunch? I laughed and the emotional diversion felt good.

"I think you need a time-out from all this. You should get away from here, this town, and all the pressures. Go somewhere you can have some time to yourself to think things over."

I pulled away from his gaze and grabbed a cocktail napkin off the bar to dab at my eyes. I could've easily let myself go, given in to my raging emotions right now and have a total breakdown. But instead, I pulled myself together, wondering how he understood me so well... and how I hadn't noticed such an amazing guy years ago?

"What you need is a relaxing get away. Why don't you come with me to Chicago for a weekend? It'll be my treat."

I perked up, brought back by the hope that he was right, but then I immediately thought of all the reasons I shouldn't and followed with, "But I can't..."

"Strictly as friends," he interrupted, hands in the air. "I'll show you around Chicago, we can go out for a nice steak dinner and just relax and have fun... as friends. I promise." His whole face spread into a dazzling smile. It was a tempting invitation.

"Fun? Um... define fun."

"Seriously. I won't touch you. I would never take advantage of you like that."

It was difficult to say no; Aedyn was so handsome and charming. I swore he was confusing me with those piercing blue eyes on purpose.

I wanted to scream, "Yes, yes! That's exactly what I need right now." Instead, I said, "That's very sweet of you Aedyn, but I'm afraid I'll have to say no. What would I tell Chip?"

"Say you went to visit friends. That wouldn't be completely wrong; I am a friend."

I bit my lip, pondering the tempting possibility. "I don't know..."

"Or say you need a couple days rest after the accident, after all, you did just have a head injury."

"I wish I could, Aedyn. You don't know how badly I want to come, but I don't think it's a good idea."

"Are you sure? I'd love to have you come see my place in Chicago. My driver will be at my dad's house at six in the morning to take us to the plane. By the time we get there, we'll still have the rest of the day."

Although my tears had stopped, I still felt deeply disappointed. If I were brave, I'd go. But I'm not. "I'm sorry, I just can't right now."

"Look, if you change your mind, let me know. I'll give you my number." He tilted his head to the side, peering into my face for confirmation, then pulled a business card out of the pocket of his suit jacket. "If you can't come tomorrow, maybe another time. Just give me a call. My offer will still hold."

I took the card, knowing it was a way to stay connected with him. If I'd given his phone number back, it would've ended right then and we'd say good-bye. Instead, I tucked his card into my purse, shoving it deep inside, along with my guilt for accepting it. Aedyn reached a strong arm around my shoulder and pulled me into a sideways hug and said, "Come here."

It was an awkward hug at first, with me leaning into him while still perched on my bar stool, but what made it even stranger was, I could have sworn he was about to kiss me as he leaned in. It was as if he changed his mind and pulled away at the last minute, giving me a hug instead. The whole thing rocketed my mind into a realm of possibility, wondering what his kisses would feel like, wondering if I'd made a mistake by telling him I couldn't go. Once more, my blood rushed through my body and the combination of my lust-filled thoughts and the warmth from his arm around my shoulder resulted in an explosive blast of energy, making our hug feel a million times more dangerous than an "old friends from high school" embrace.

I wasn't sure what it meant to Aedyn, maybe this was all me, but it felt like the rug had been pulled out from beneath my feet. Something in the foundation of my belief system had shifted and my life was about to go crashing, full speed ahead, in a different direction. My gut wrenched and I had a feeling I'd have to take the ride, bumps and all, before I would find solid ground again. I was so screwed.

Chapter Seventeen.

Lauren I felt so torn walking out of the bar, the indecision spiraling through my mind and weighing me down. On one hand, I felt like practically skipping... remembering Aedyn's invitation; talking to him again; the way my skin felt when we touched. The connection between us nearly rattled my brain, setting my soul on fire.

On the other hand, I felt horrible. I'm engaged for goodness sake and seriously thought about running away with another man. Chip asked and I said yes. That was supposed to mean for better or worse, until the day I died. Amen.

I sighed, realizing my dilemma was bigger than two men and which one I should choose. My real problem was with myself, the scared little girl inside me just wanting to be loved. I was afraid. Afraid to go and afraid to stay, which kept me stuck in the comfort zone I was beginning to hate.

Was I really willing to settle for a 'good enough' life? Willing to forever justify Chip and his actions for the sake of a picket fence? My heart squeezed as I realized how close I'd come to doing just that. Then Aedyn showed up out of the blue, and turned my comfort zone on its head.

Aedyn. Just thinking about him curled my toes. Sitting so close to him and feeling his arm around me felt crazy good and I nearly changed my mind about going to Chicago.

I could use some time away from here to think things through, but I also knew that it would be nearly impossible with him so close. How the hell would I be able to go? What would I tell Chip? I couldn't believe I was even giving this another thought.

Fear twisted in the pit of my stomach and a wild thought raced through my mind. What if I left and never came back? What if I simply disappeared? I could escape to the ocean, live in a tiny loft, walk on the beach every day.

No! I couldn't run away just to avoid my problems. I had to make a decision about Chip and my engagement... and soon.

I dropped my phone into my purse. After leaving Red's Place, I called Jules, asking her to meet me at the coffee shop where I was waiting for her. Jules would know what to do.

No sooner had Jules sat down when the waitress came with my order. Jules looked up at her and said, "I'll have a hot chocolate."

"Jules," I sputtered, "it's the middle of summer. It's too hot for hot chocolate."

"I know, call me crazy. I think I'm having a chocolate craving."

"You really are... unique, my friend." I laughed.

"But don't you just love me for it?" She laughed too and pulled her ever-present cell phone out to check messages. "Hey, shouldn't you be home resting?" Jules asked, her forehead wrinkling, as she tapped her finger on the screen.

I waved my hand in the air. "I'm fine. I'm so sick of everyone thinking I'm debilitated." I leaned forward. "Really, I'm fine." Her finger paused its texting. "I hit my head when I fell; just a bump. I'm milking it for all it's worth though; I don't want to go back to work yet. I'm sure I'll be quitting as soon as I'm married anyway. Chip's not the kind of guy who wants his wife to have a job."

Jules nodded, eyeing me carefully and said, "I can't stay long."

"Oh? The kids?"

"No, girl. The gardener comes today." A big smile stretched across her face as she took a sip of her hot chocolate.

"You're not..."

"I am. I'm so bad."

From the looks of it, anyone would think Jules and Jack were the perfect couple. But this wasn't the first time I'd learned of her indiscretions, or his. I loved her too much to judge her or Jack; I'm just not sure I could handle having an open relationship.

"Jules, I need your help."

"Anything. What is it? Or should I say who is he?"

"Jules." Damn, she's good. "Okay, look, keep this between me and you... I've been asked to go with a certain someone to a certain place..."

"Oh geez, Lauren just say it. Who is he?" she said, her eyes dancing with delight. Although I hadn't planned on spilling every detail, the floodgates opened and the words just gushed out.

"Aedyn Cumberland."

Before I could explain further she cut me off and said, "Aedyn Cumberland? The geek turned sexy hot mystery man?"

"Yes. He invited me to go to Chicago with him for a visit, but I can't go."

"What the fuck, Lauren? That's amazing. You should totally go. Wait, how the hell did that happen?" Jules wasn't so much shocked as intrigued. "I thought he was only in town for a day or two for the funeral. He should've been long gone by now."

"He stayed to deal with his dad's estate, but I can't take him up on his offer. That would be crazy. What would I tell Chip? He'll kill me if he knew."

"Wait, how did this invite come up? Did he call you, did you see him? What?"

I grimaced. "Well, I sort of ran into him."

She looked at me incredulously. "Ran into him? Seriously? What's going on? I hate to tell you this, but you're not very good at keeping secrets."

I hadn't told Jules all the details, how I went looking for Aedyn this last time, wanting to see him again. Hoping he'd stayed in town longer than planned, testing the waters to determine if seeing him again would help me sort out my jumbled up mess of emotions.

She leaned in and practically whispered, "Are you thinking about fooling around? Oh, you're a wicked one, though I wouldn't blame you, he's drop dead gorgeous. You should definitely go."

"I, no, no. I wouldn't be going with the intention of hooking up... he invited me as friends only and..." I pulled my hand across my brow. "Jules, I don't know what to do."

"Just go. It's only a couple days and you were just in an accident. You need time to recuperate. It would be good for you."

"You really think so?" Those were the words I wanted to hear because in my heart I really did want to go. Something inside of me was pulling me in Aedyn's direction. I'd felt it every time I was near him. Like a drug, the feeling was euphoric and drove me to want more. And just like a drug, chasing the high made me want to do things against my better judgment.

"I don't know, I really could use some time to get away from here, get away from Chip's overbearing surveillance of my every move, his mood swings. He's freaking me out about it. I really could use the time to..." I pressed my hand flat on the table. "Jules, I have to tell you something. I think I might be having some doubts about marrying Chip." I relaxed my shoulders. I'd finally put it into words and it was a relief to finally say it out loud.

"Hallelujah. Seriously? I mean I don't blame you. From what you've told me, he's been acting like a jerk. But he finally gave you a ring and I thought that's what you wanted. What's going on?"

"That's exactly it. I thought I wanted that too. I thought the formality of being engaged would make our relationship better, like he'd calm down and stop being so jealous about every guy I talked to. If he'd proposed years ago, even weeks ago, everything would be different, but now... things have changed and I'm so screwed up, I can't even think clearly."

I knew what'd changed. It all started when Aedyn arrived, but I didn't want to give voice to my thoughts about that until I knew for sure how I felt. So I began to rationalize my growing decision.

I sighed. "Maybe I do need to get away. Sometimes getting out of the usual daily routine helps broaden your perspective on things, you know what I mean?"

"Yea, I get you. Sometimes this small town feels like it's crushing me, everybody knows everything about you. I think you should go and just do what you feel you have to do. Have one last hoorah before you get married... if you get married. Hell, guys do it at bachelor parties, why can't women? Otherwise you'll always wonder, what would've happened and all the "what if's" will haunt your marriage." Her eyes brightened. "I'm telling you, an out-of-town get away, and one good fuck from a super-hot guy... that should clear your mind for sure." She tapped her finger on the table top. "You know, it'd be like comparison shopping before you settle down." She laughed. Jules could see I was upset and this was her effort to try to pick up my mood. She raised her brows waiting for my answer. "Well?"

"Geez, you have a one track mind. So in your book, sex cures all?"

She shrugged. "I'm just saying..."

"Well, I'm not going there with the intentions of a 'hook up'," I argued, but Jules just rolled her eyes. In the back of my mind, I knew it would be difficult to resist. Jules was right about being out of town. It did have an otherworldly effect on reality, making it easier to forget your daily life and all your commitments. But getting away from the usual routine also allowed a kind of opening for things to surface that had been pushed down and I was sorely in need of that. I needed to look inside myself, and sort through my feelings. I'd already been playing a dangerous game in my head. I was comparing Aedyn to Chip and I realized it was the first step in giving credence to my doubts about the man I was supposed to marry.