I didn't believe my own press when I was called the next big thing, but it's harder when they're calling you a failure.

SHEILA MARIE: I'm going to call your mom. I'm so sorry - we should've told you.

ME: It's okay. It's not like I haven't heard it before.

I walked into the theater and did my best to smile at the other attendees. We were guided to our seats and Sophie offered to sit on the aisle so n.o.body could bother me. Sheila Marie went off to make a phone call. I knew she didn't have control over what they said. I wasn't mad at her. Strangely, I was more mad at myself. Because some of the article rang true. And I could imagine my fellow students reading the article and believing every word.

I may be a former child star and have millions in my bank account, but I'm still a human being.

SOPHIE: Carter ...

She took my hand and leaned in so n.o.body could hear her.

SOPHIE: I know this isn't the same, but I used to be a big deal back in Brooklyn, before CPA. People actually followed me around the hallways and asked for my autograph at school events. Everybody thought I was going to be a huge star, and so did I. Then I got to CPA and n.o.body would turn around when I came down a hallway. I wasn't special, I was normal. It was really hard to take at first. It's not fun to be called a has-been, but you've shined brighter than most people could ever dream of. And honestly, I think that only the best is yet to come. For both of us. You've handled it all so well. You're still a working actor, you're one of the nicest guys I've ever known, and um, a really good kisser.

She smiled and gave me a soft kiss on the cheek.

SOPHIE: At the end of the day, I don't think I've ever met anybody as special and deserving of their dreams as you.

I look at Sophie now. With each pa.s.sing semester, her confidence gets stripped away. I do my best to comfort her; we both know what it's like to not be the big star you once were. But lately, she's become too desperate for the limelight. She's not the person I fell for, the one who would light up a room simply by entering it. Instead, she walks into a room and takes stock of the compet.i.tion. Now everything seems like a big battle to her.

I want the old Sophie back.

ME: I have no doubt in my mind that you are going to land a spot.

I wrap my arms around her to try to give her some comfort. She holds on to me tight.

SOPHIE: It's our last year. I've got to start making an impression or ... Plus, it isn't even about making the list, it's the order, too.

I don't know what to say. I couldn't care less about the order. But I know, to her, it's everything.

She sighs, grabs my hand, and leads me inside the building.

SOPHIE: This is really the first test to see who the lead contenders for the Senior Showcase are. There are ten spots. The first spot is a big deal because that sets the tone. But then spots two through eight are fine. The second to the last is pretty major, but the last spot - that's the cream of the crop.

I nod like I have any clue what she's talking about. I know she's nervous about the lineup and I want to be there for her, but senior year has made me realize that I have my own issues, too. I thought going to high school would give me some sort of sense of who I really am. But it's just another part I'm playing. And now I'm playing the role of Understanding Boyfriend.

Still, having a girlfriend at school is one of the things that makes me feel normal. Plus, she's superhot.

It's not that I don't want to play the boyfriend role, but I guess there's no denying there's been some tension between us lately. She's become so obsessed with being the biggest star at CPA, it's getting in the way of our relationship. When she's not worried about an audition, she's a ton of fun, and she likes to be out and be seen (something Mom wants me to do for my career - be in papers, online, TV, you name it. Got to stay relevant, I guess). Although sometimes I get the feeling that it's an act to her, too.

SOPHIE: Did you hear that Zach did a monologue from Richard III?

I groan. I know Sophie, and everybody else for that matter, probably thinks my att.i.tude is because Zachary David is the other lead student in the drama department and we are always competing for roles, but he's the one who considers me compet.i.tion, not vice versa. My disgust is over my real nemesis: Shakespeare. That guy kills me. I get why he's a big deal, I really do. But it's hard to memorize pages and pages of something that makes zero sense. And did people ever really talk like that?

But of course Zach auditioned with Shakespeare. He's by far the better actor, one of the best I've ever seen. I'm aware that I'm not even in the top half of the cla.s.s, but I always seem to get the lead. Which p.i.s.ses everybody off. And it should. I know why I get the lead parts - it's because any production I'm in sells out. It's all about the money, and my name equals tween girls and their moms. A school like CPA requires a lot of funding for costumes, sets, instruments, etc. And "Carter Harrison" still sells tickets.

Although I don't think my acting does anything for the school's reputation.

We find some seats in the auditorium and wait for our fates. You could hear a pin drop as Dr. Pafford takes the stage and gets right to what we are all here for.

DR. PAFFORD: The following is the order of the performances for Monday's a.s.sembly. If your name isn't called, please exit the auditorium and have a good weekend. First up, Sarah Moffitt singing "Somewhere" from West Side Story.

Sophie growls at the mere mention of Sarah's name. Sarah is her nemesis.

DR. PAFFORD: Up next, I will be combining two performances. The string quartet of Collins, Hoffman, McDonnell, and Shannon will perform Vivaldi while the art of Trevor Parsons is displayed overhead.

Trevor's an amazing artist. I go to all his openings. I love to draw - I love it more than acting - and he's been an inspiration to me. Although I don't think I could ever show anybody my art. My art is the only thing that I feel truly belongs to me. It would be too difficult to open myself up that way.

DR. PAFFORD: Sophie Jenkins will perform an original song by Amanda Jones.

SOPHIE (quietly): I'm third? Are you kidding me?

I find it odd that her first reaction isn't mine. That song is Emme's. I try to catch Emme's eye from across the room, but she's looking straight ahead, her face bright red. I'm good at reading people (been doing it forever) and it's clear she's about ready to cry. Meanwhile, Ethan, Ben, and Jack look like they're about to commit a murder. I wish I had friends who would stick up for me like that.

The list of performers continues and we reach the final three.

DR. PAFFORD: Zachary David will be performing from Richard III, followed by Connelly, Coombs, McWilliams, and Quinn performing an original song by Ethan Quinn. Finally, we'll close out with Carter Harrison.

I hear the collective dissent in the room. After we get further instructions on the performance, we're excused, and I think it's probably best to leave, more for Sophie's safety than for my own.

I see Jack approach us. He usually has a permanent smile on his face, but not today.

JACK: Congrats, guys. That's really great. Great.

It's pretty obvious he doesn't think it's great.

JACK: Hey, Sophie, I didn't know you weren't performing Emme's song.

SOPHIE: What? Yes, I am.

JACK: Really? Did you bother telling anybody?

SOPHIE: What are you talking about?

Emme approaches us, with Ethan and Ben right behind her. I wonder if she knows how lucky she is to have such supportive friends.

JACK: Did you not hear who they gave the song credit to?

SOPHIE: To be honest, I was a little shocked that my name was only called third.

EMME: Hey, guys, it's fine. Just a mistake.

Ethan is glaring at Sophie. Ben looks like he's prepared to break up a fight.

EMME: It's fine, really. I'll be performing it with her on Monday, so there won't be any confusion. Sophie, why don't you come over tomorrow so we can practice?

SOPHIE: What are you guys even talking about?

JACK: Pafford said Amanda wrote the song.

Sophie seems to come out of her trance.

SOPHIE: Oh, no, I didn't hear. I was so upset over not being in the second half. I'm so sorry, Emme. I really don't know what happened, honestly.

Sophie hugs Emme. And everything seems to be right with them. It always is.

EMME: Don't worry about it. Hey, we're playing at Kat's Cafe tonight if you guys want to come.

I've only seen Teenage Kicks perform at school events. I've always wanted to see them outside of CPA.

ME: Really? That's great. What time?

Everybody turns around. Probably shocked that I'm speaking. I usually don't say much. I'm better if something is scripted out for me.

EMME: Eight. We're testing out some new stuff. It would be really great if you guys came.

SOPHIE: We'll see.

We'll see? I know Sophie's upset, but I want to go. I want to have fun this year. Make friends.

I'm seventeen years old. It's about time I stop pretending and just figure it out already.

I get to the television studio after having an argument with Sophie about our evening plans. She wants me to call Sheila Marie to see if she can get us into any events. But I'm going to the concert. She can do whatever she wants.

I open up the script for today's scene and start to draw.

Mom enters the room, her own copy of the script in hand.

MOM: Carter, fabulous news, sweetheart! I just got out of a meeting with Timothy and big things are happening.

I hate it when Mom talks to the show runner. She's always trying to get me bigger dramatic moments and what she usually ends up doing is making me seem like a big brat.

MOM: What your story line needs is for Chase to come to terms with his feelings for Charity.

She looks so serious, like these are real people. Chase is certainly not a real person. In fact, he's getting so out there, I don't even know how to play him anymore. Not like I ever really liked playing him. But I sometimes get the feeling that Mom thinks that I'm Chase.

Mom starts to clap, mostly to get my attention, because it's clear that I couldn't care less about Chase and Charity.

MOM: Today you'll be filming your first love scene!

Great. Mom's probably convinced that if Charity and Chase get romantically involved, it'll get me more screen time. The original agreement was that when I'm attending CPA, the producers have to reduce the number of scenes that I have each week so I can go to school full-time. But that hasn't really happened.

Most parents would want their children to focus on their studies. But I learned a long time ago that my mother isn't like most parents.

Mom sits down next to me on the couch and places her hand on my knee.

MOM: Honey, I'm so sorry. I completely s.p.a.ced. How did the lineup for the freshman a.s.sembly go?

ME: I got in. Last slot.

MOM: And that's good, right? The last slot, like the headliner, or am I getting that mixed up?

I remember what Sophie told me.

ME: It's good.

MOM: Oh, Carter. That's wonderful. I'm so proud of you. I ... Did you eat lunch?

She rummages through her purse to give me a protein bar. My diet has been a serious topic lately since the producers feel the need for my character to appear shirtless. A lot. Because most seventeen-year-old guys hang out at home in khakis and nothing else. In one scene, I take off my shirt before I open up a book. I don't get it, but apparently the viewers like it. It's beyond embarra.s.sing.

So I'm on a high-protein diet to bulk up. And I've got to work out more. Just more things to add to the list of things I have no interest in doing.

Although Sophie really likes it.

MOM: I know what this is about. Honey, I know that having your first on-screen love scene can be stressful and you've known Charity, I mean Britney, for years and she's like a sister to you, but it isn't a big deal. Just think of that cute Sophie girl and everything will be fine.

She gets up and leaves without even waiting for a reply. It wouldn't matter anyway. The decision has been made.

There's a line outside of Kat's when I arrive, alone, around seven thirty. As I scan the line, I can't tell if these kids are from school or not. I knew the band was getting a reputation outside CPA but didn't know they were this big.

"Carter?" I turn around to find Chloe Nagano, Jack's girlfriend. Even outside of school, you can tell she's a dancer. Her hair is up in a bun and she's got a tight tank top on with leggings, and a sweater wrapped around her waist.

CHLOE: I was just heading inside to say hi to Jack. Is Sophie with you?

ME: No, I came by myself.

CHLOE: Oh. Well, it's just me here, too. Do you want to join me?

I follow Chloe behind an alley to the back entrance of the coffee shop/music venue. The band is crammed in a tiny s.p.a.ce that I guess is supposed to be the greenroom. Emme's doing homework, Ethan's running in place, and Ben and Jack are arguing about some band I've never heard of.

They all look up when I enter the room.

JACK: There's my girl.

Jack gets up to kiss Chloe. I stand there awkwardly, wondering what they all think of me, especially after what happened today. Death by a.s.sociation? Sophie said it was an honest mistake and Emme didn't seem to have a problem, but these guys ... well, it's pretty obvious they don't like Sophie.

Emme smiles warmly at me.

EMME: Hey, Carter! Is Sophie with you?

ME: No, she couldn't make it. But I've really wanted to see you guys perform.

JACK: Well, I don't mean to brag....

BEN: Yes, he does.

JACK: You're in for a treat. We're on for an hour today, which should mean ... three songs with the way this one's been blabbing on recently.