"She's staying with Mom."

"What?"

"She went to see Mom and pleaded her case. My guess would be, Mom saw it as the perfect means of separating you and me and has joined forces with Beth."

"I don't believe this."

"Mom is going to do whatever she feels is necessary to get you out of my life," Ellen reminded her. "You know that's why she insisted you take your vacation early. She thought you would go visit your parents, and by the time you came back, you'd be ready to move on to someone else."

Jody tossed her cold coffee into the gra.s.s and set the cup on the patio table beside her. "What do you want?" she asked.

"I want the same thing I wanted yesterday."

"Which is?"

"Stop pretending to be so dense. I love you, Jody Scott, and I want to try to make a life with you. If I can ever get you to stop thinking of commitment as a dirty word. I think the question now is, what do you want?"

Jody stared at the fresh, rich soil of her rose garden. She was glad she'd gotten rid of the old depleted dirt, so the new roses would grow. Maybe it was time to make a fresh start herself, to let go of the distrust Mia's desertion had instilled in her. She took a deep, shaky breath and slowly exhaled. "I love you, Ellen Murray, and I want you in my life for as long as you can stand me."

"That could prove to be a very long time."

"Is that a promise?"

"Yes. Can you handle that?"

"I think so," Jody said.

"Is that a promise?" Ellen asked, mimicking her.

"No, that's a commitment."

"I knew you had it in you." She laughed.

"Are you free tonight?" Jody asked.

Ellen groaned. "No, I'm having dinner with a client. I would reschedule, but it's a new client and my boss asked me to attend. I probably won't be free until after ten and then I'll have some work to do afterward. I'll need to type my preliminary report while everything is still fresh in my mind."

Jody looked at the garden again. If she could find the bench and arbor today, she could set them up and plant the roses tomorrow. She could then show Ellen the completed project. "How does tomorrow night look?"

"I'll make it a point to keep tomorrow evening free," Ellen said. "There's only so many nights with you that I'm willing to give up."

"Good. Come by after work. I'll make us a nice dinner and show you my latest creation."

"What creation?"

"No. You have to wait and see the final product."

"All right. I'll come by right after work."

"Make sure you forget your jammies. You won't need them."

"Promises, promises," Ellen teased and said good-bye.

Jody sat on the patio for several minutes. She waited for the regret in uttering those three scary words to set in. When it failed to appear, she felt the vise around her heart loosen. Maybe this time really would be different.

With a new wave of hope, she went into the house and grabbed a pad of paper and the phone directory. Pouring a fresh cup of coffee, she began to make a list of all the home improvement and garden centers in the area. After organizing them by location, she set off to find the perfect swing and arbor for her rose garden.

It took two hours and six shops before she found exactly what she was looking for at a small family-owned outdoor furniture shop. The redwood swing displayed a carved rose on its crossbeam. The three-inch vertical slats of the seat would provide more comfort than the usual one-inch slats. She chose a matching redwood arbor that was wide enough to fit over the swing. She purchased the two pieces and arranged for delivery. The owner agreed to set the items in the backyard if Jody was not home when they arrived.

From the furniture shop, Jody drove directly to Leti and Maricela's garden center. With Leti's help, she chose a dozen rosebushes in various shades of red, pink, white and yellow. Some of the bushes already had several small buds. While there, she picked out a few basketball-size landscaping rocks and a small birdbath. With all of her purchases complete, Jody headed home to finish her project.

Impatient to begin, she planted the roses that would be along the back edge of the bed and then mowed the yard to kill time. The furniture arrived late, but the deliveryman helped her set the swing and arbor into place and showed her how to attach and drive in the stakes that would anchor the arbor.

An hour later, with the arbor securely anch.o.r.ed, she planted the remaining rosebushes, four of which would eventually climb over the arbor. With the roses in place, she arranged the landscaping rocks. The rocks were heavy and she was glad she only had a few to handle. The birdbath was easy to set up.

Darkness set in before she was satisfied with the arrangement of the rocks and fountain. Once again, she was forced to hang a light from the tree in order to finish up.

After everything was complete, she turned out the light and sat in the swing. It felt so comfortable, she stretched out and stared up at the thin sliver of a crescent moon, and the faint glow of stars. The night sky was the only thing she disliked about city living. She couldn't see the stars clearly.

It didn't take long for the mosquitoes to find her and drive her inside. She made a note to find something that would repel them enough for her to enjoy her new outdoor creation.

She wanted to call Ellen and tell her all about the rose garden, but it was after ten. She settled for a shower and fell into bed. She was too tired, or maybe just too excited, to sleep. She tried to watch a movie, but thoughts of Ellen and the fact that they had made a commitment of sorts kept sneaking in and distracting her. She finally gave up on the movie and turned the television off.

The neighbor's security light cast shadows of tree limbs dancing on her wall. Would Ellen move in with her? Or would Ellen want to have her own place? She tried to imagine Ellen living in her house and was surprised to find it wasn't hard to do. As a test, she tried to imagine one of the various other women she had dated living with her, and she couldn't form a mental picture.

Was it too early to ask Ellen to move in with her? Ellen was miserable at the hotel, and even with the corporate discount, it must be costing her a small fortune. How was Denise going to react if they decided to live together? As she mulled over the questions, she fell asleep.

Chapter Nineteen.

A loud ringing pulled Jody from sleep. Disoriented, she fumbled for the alarm clock, trying to turn it off before she realized it was the phone. She squinted against the brightness of the room. The long ray of sunshine dancing across the foot of her bed startled her. She glanced at the clock on the bedside table as she reached for the phone. It was almost ten. She couldn't remember the last time she had slept so late.

"h.e.l.lo," she answered, still staring at the clock. There was silence. "h.e.l.lo."

She was about to hang up when Ellen spoke. "I need to talk to you."

"What's up?"

"Nothing really, I just..." She hesitated.

"Are you all right?" Jody froze. Had Ellen already changed her mind about Beth?

"Not really." Ellen took a deep breath. "The doctor just called with the results from the tests I had on Monday."

Jody shivered suddenly and pulled the blanket up across her shoulder. "That was quick."

"Apparently Dr. Chavez requested a rush."

"And?"

"She's scheduling me for a biopsy at eleven tomorrow morning."

"A biopsy? Shouldn't you be getting a second opinion or another mammogram?"

"Why? She can feel the lump and the mammogram confirmed it was there. What good will another mammogram do?"

Jody tried to think of something positive to say, but all she had were questions. "Who's doing the biopsy and where is it going to be done?"

"Dr. Chavez will do the procedure in her office. She said she would make a small incision and insert a biopsy needle to remove a sampling from core tissue of the lump. Afterward the incision is closed with a st.i.tch or two."

Jody could tell Ellen was reading the information.

"Would you like me to go with you?" Jody asked.

"The doctor said I would be able to drive afterward. It's really no big deal."

"It is a big deal, Ellen. You should have someone there with you. If not me, at least call Denise."

"No. I don't want to tell Mom yet. I don't want to worry her."

"Then let me go with you."

Ellen hesitated. "You can pick me up at work tomorrow around ten-fifteen, if you like."

"Thank you. I'll bring you back here and you can rest for the day."

"No. I'm going back to work afterward. Dr. Chavez says I'll be fine. I can take Tylenol if I need to after the local wears off. In fact, I'm going to have to cancel our dinner engagement this evening. I'm sorry, but I've got so much work to do, and the doctor appointments are putting me further behind."

"Ellen, you need-"

"Jody, don't tell me what I need. I called you because I thought you'd understand. I'm going back to work afterward, and I intend to spend the night at the hotel, alone. I have a lot of work to do. It seems like ever since I've gotten here it has been one thing after another. I'm behind in my work and I don't want someone else to have to pick up my slack."

Jody realized Ellen was scared. With her family history, Jody thought, who wouldn't be? "I'm sorry. You're right. I got a little overprotective. I'll pick you up at ten-fifteen. I'll sit in the waiting room at the doctor's office, and I won't even hold your hand on the way over."

Ellen laughed at Jody's absurdity. "All right, I got a little melodramatic. I'm starting to feel overwhelmed, I guess."

"I'll be around if you want to talk."

"Thanks for being so understanding. I really am sorry about all this drama. Please don't be upset with me about canceling our dinner plans."

"Don't worry about me," Jody said and sat up. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Jody slipped into shorts and a red T-shirt and made coffee. As it brewed, she stood at the kitchen window watching a pair of ruby-throated hummingbirds darting between feeders. The morning sun reflected off their iridescent backs. She watched the male, with his brilliant red throat, as he veered away from the feeder and hovered outside the window as though he were gazing at her. It took her a minute to realize that her red shirt was the source of his attention. She moved away from the window. If she continued standing there, the hummingbird might fly into the windowpane in an attempt to investigate the red object.

She poured herself a cup of coffee and carried it out to the rose garden where she sat in the swing. The morning sun hadn't yet cleared the roof of the house, but already she could feel its warmth. The earthy smell of the topsoil rose up to greet her. Somewhere in one of the trees behind her, a cardinal chirped for its mate. Several mourning doves cooed from various locations around the yard. She needed to refill the bird feeders.

Without warning, it hit her. Ellen could have breast cancer. I could lose her before we have a chance to know each other.

You don't have to put yourself through this, a voice whispered. You can leave now.

Jody ran her fingers over the tender leaves of the rosebush nearest the swing. There were several small buds that would soon be bursting open. She caressed one of them with her fingertip. As she stared at the rosebud, she realized Mia's leaving hurt her so badly, she had hidden her heart away as a means of protecting herself. She hadn't loved Lauren or any of the other women she had dated. She hadn't allowed herself to love them. She let go of the rosebud and took a sip of her coffee.

I'm in this for the long haul, she thought. If Ellen had cancer, they'd face it together. Jody ignored the cold fist of fear that began to settle deep in her stomach.

Chapter Twenty.

The following morning, Jody parked the Jeep in front of Ellen's office building and waited. The sun beaming through the windshield reminded her that the hot, humid days of summer were only a few weeks away. She rolled down her window and inhaled the sweet smell of mountain laurel. A dozen or more of the st.u.r.dy plants lined the sidewalk, yet only one was still blooming.

She gazed at the drab gla.s.s and brown brick multistoried building, glad that she no longer had to do the normal nine-to-five routine. She put in a lot of hours at the flower shop, but for the most part the time was enjoyable.

The large number of people who hustled in and out of the building soon convinced Jody why time-motion studies were a booming business.

Ellen walked out precisely at ten-fifteen, dressed in an expensive-looking cream-colored suit.

Jody smiled when she saw that Ellen was wearing matching heels. Grateful for her own freedom, she wriggled her toes inside her comfortable loafers. Giving up the job on Wall Street had been the best decision she had ever made.

"Good morning," Ellen said as she slipped into the Wrangler and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek.

"It's a good thing I haven't gotten around to removing the top yet," Jody said, giving it a thump. She normally removed it around the first of May, but with so much going on, she hadn't gotten around to it. "The wind would have messed up your hair."

Ellen stuck her tongue out at Jody, then ran a hand vigorously through her short brunette hair. It simply fell back into place. "I'm completely low-maintenance," she declared.

They were silent until Jody pulled onto the freeway that would take them across town.

"How are you doing?" Jody asked.

"All right. I guess I'm a little nervous."

Jody reached for her hand. "I'll be there if you need me."

"I appreciate that. I'm trying not to get ahead of myself and worry for nothing. The doctor said that eighty-five percent of the time lumps aren't cancerous."

There it was. The word Jody was fighting to avoid. A sudden jolt of rage shook her. Why did Ellen have to say it? Now it existed. Now it could invade her life. It could invade Ellen.

"I guess you'll be working this coming weekend," Jody said, hoping to change the subject.

Ellen took a moment before she responded. "I really should. I'm so far behind. It seems like I get a new account every day. I don't even have time to wrap up one project before they give me another one."