"Isn't he on the blanket?" asked Jan. "I told him to stay with Chloe." Forcing herself to breathe deeply, Carrie looked up and down the beach. "There he is!"

she said after a moment. Ralphie was talking to the boys who'd been with him at the bay beach the other day. Chloe was not with him.

Together, Ian and Carrie ran toward Ralphie. "Where's my sister?" Ian asked Ralphie.

Ralphie looked over to the blanket. "I told her to stay right there," he said.

"Oh, G.o.d!" Carrie cried. From that moment on she felt as if she were in a dream. A nightmare. Everything had a feeling of unreality. It was as if she were functioning on some sort of internal automatic pilot, moving with purpose but without thought. Her entire being was in a state of emergency.

"Chloe!" she called, running down to the surf and slogging through the water.

"Chloe!" People stopped and stared at her. "What does she look like?" a woman asked.

"She's four, brownish-red curls, blue one-piece bathing suit. With Minnie Mouse on it," she added anxiously.

The woman shook her head. "I'll run up and ask the lifeguard to look for her,"

she volunteered.

"Thank you," said Carrie. A large wave crashed at her feet and made her stagger backward two steps. Chloe could easily have been knocked down. And it was so crowded. A little girl who went down and didn't get up might not even be noticed. Tears sprang to Carrie's eyes.

Carrie ran along the wet sand. "Chloe!" Around her people took up the search, looking around, asking their children if they'd seen the little girl. No one had.

Gazing over the sea of people, Carrie remembered Ralphie's words. "Are you really Graham Perry's kid?" If he knew, others might. What if someone had kidnapped Chloe for a big ransom? Or worse? The world was full of twisted people.

"I don't see her anywhere!" cried Ian, on the verge of hysteria. His slim chest heaved with agitation.

"We'll find her, Ian, don't worry," Carrie said, struggling to stay calm herself, her eyes moving continually up and down the sh.o.r.e. "You keep looking along the water. Get Ralphie and those boys to help you. I'm going to look around the beach." "Okay, okay," Ian panted.

Picking her way through the crowd, Carrie looked over to the lifeguard. He was standing on his chair to get a better look at the beach. She stopped under his chair. "She's wearing a blue suit with Minnie Mouse on it," Carrie told him.

"Check the boardwalk," he advised.

Carrie ran up to the boardwalk and climbed onto one of the wooden benches.

"Chloe!" she called so loudly that it hurt her throat.

"You can't find Chloe?* said Emma, who had come up beside her. The Hewitts were with her; the family had been about to leave the beach.

"I'll go check the other end of the boardwalk," Jeff He witt volunteered. "Come on, Ethan, Wills, help me look." Without another word, they took off at a jog down-the boardwalk. "We'll bring her to the lifeguard stand if I find her," Jeff called over his shoulder.

"I'm going to go down to the beach and keep looking," said Emma, hurrying down the wooden steps to the beach.

"Katie and I will check the concessions," Jane Hewitt said, laying down her beach chair and towels. "Where would you go if you were going to wander off?" she asked Katie sensibly as they headed for the concessions.

Carrie saw Katie point to the ice cream concession. Sure, Carrie thought hopefully. Maybe Chloe got impatient for me to return with her ice cream. She watched as Jane stuck her head in the door, but her hopes were dashed as Jane came back out and shook her head.

Walking quickly, Carrie headed down the boardwalk in the opposite direction from the way Jeff and the kids had gone. Her heart was in her throat as she looked from side to side. She was searching so intently that she never noticed Billy running up after her.

"Carrie," he called when he was nearly behind her. "I have to talk to you. I need my-" "Huh? Oh, Billy," she said with a start.

"I need to come by and get my camera," he said.

She looked at him blankly. It was as if her mind couldn't process his words.

"Sure, whatever," she said. "I can't talk to you now, Billy. I have to find Chloe. You haven't seen a little girl with reddish curls in a blue Minnie Mouse suit, have you?" "Shoot, you mean Chloe is lost?" he said. "I'll help you look."

"Okay. I'm going to keep going down the boardwalk. I don't know where else to look," she said, heading off again.

Billy ran on ahead. She caught up to him when they were nearly to the end of the boardwalk.

Over to their right was Juggler's Wharf. It was a spot where mimes and jugglers entertained the crowds and then pa.s.sed the hat. Today a crowd was gathering watching something that Carrie couldn't see.

To the left was a long, narrow pier where small motorboats were tied up. "Go check that crowd on the wharf," she instructed Billy. "I'll go down to the pier." Both of them took off at a run in their different directions. Carrie ran to the middle of the pier. It was wide open. There was little place for Chloe to hide, so there was no sense going further.

A gentle thud made her look down into the water. It was just the sound of a small motorboat b.u.mping into the pier. She was about to look away when something purple caught her eye.

It was Chloe's purple unicorn. And it was floating in the water.

Panic and horror surged up inside her. Chloe had fallen in. Or been abducted by someone in a boat.

Kicking off her sandals, Carrie jumped into the water. She swam out a few feet, then dove down. Perhaps Chloe had fallen and gotten hung up in a boat's propeller or underneath its hull. With her lungs bursting for air, she swam from boat to boat, staying under as long as she could. Maybe it had just happened.

Carrie had taken a course in CPR and mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. If she could find her in time, maybe it wasn't too late.

Carrie came up for air a third time. Breathless, she hung on the end of a boat.

Then she saw something, and for a moment she thought it wasn't real. But it was.

Standing on the pier, looking down at her, was Chloe.

Billy stood beside her. "She was watching a puppet show," he said.

Kneeling down, he extended his hand and pulled Carrie out of the water. Carrie knelt in front of Chloe and held her tight. Tears gushed down her cheeks. She let them wash over her, not even trying to control them. After a moment, she wiped her eyes with the palms of her hands. "Don't cry," said Chloe, patting Carrie's wet hair. "I'm all right." "I'm crying because I'm happy to see you,"

Carrie sniffled. "Chloe, how did you get all the way down here?" "I wanted to meet you at the ice cream place. But you weren't there. Then I couldn't find the bIanket. I kept walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking-" "So I see," Carrie interrupted.

Suddenly Chloe's face lit up and she pointed to the water. "My uni-horsie!" she cried. "I dropped him and he floated away. He came back to me. Get him, please."

Lying on her stomach, Carrie fished the toy unicorn from the water. "Here he is," she said.

"You thought she fell in, didn't you?" Billy said, sizing up the situation.

Carrie gulped and nodded. She still felt terribly shaky. "I don't know what I would have done. I'd have lost my mind if she had drowned." "I wouldn't have drowned," Chloe told her seriously. "I would have swum all the way home. I came down here to look for you. I leaned over to see the boats and I dropped my uni-horsie. I almost cried. Then I went back to keep looking for you, but I stopped to watch the puppet show." "She didn't want to come with me at first but I told her I was with you," said Billy.

"Good girl, Chloe," said Carrie, taking her hand. "Next time, don't go with stranger even if they say they know me. You don't go with anyone you don't know." "I know," said Chloe as they walked up the pier. "Mommy told me that, too. But he looked nice to me." "It doesn't matter," Carrie said firmly. "Dont go with anyone, whether they look nice or not." "Okay," Chloe agreed.

Carrie looked at Billy. "Thank you," she said.

A look of unease crossed his handsome face. "No problem. I, uh, I have to go.

See you." "See you!" she said to his back as he took off up the pier.

"Come on, Chloe, get up on my back," said Carrie, kneeling so she could climb on. "We have to tell everyone you're okay." Alternately jogging and walking, Carrie made it back to the center of the boardwalk. She didn't see Emma or the Hewitts, so she brought Chloe down to the lifeguard station. "Would you blow your whistle and hold her up so everyone knows I've found her?" she asked the lifeguard.

"Gladly," said the lifeguard with a smile. Chloe looked at Carrie nervously as the lifeguard lifted her and blew his whistle. In minutes, Ian and his new pals, Emma, and the Hewitts all gathered by the lifeguard station.

"Thank goodness!" said Jane, running her hand fondly across the top of Katie's hair. Carrie could see that the very thought of losing a child had shaken her up.

After telling everyone what had happened, Carrie thanked them all for helping with the search. She said good-bye to Emma and the Hewitts and headed back to the blanket to gather their things and go home. Carrie had suddenly lost her desire to be at the beach. "Come on, Ian," she called when she was several paces from the lifeguard station.

-Ian wasn't paying any attention. He was in the middle of a heated argument with Ralphie. "Ian," Carrie called at the same moment that Ian shoved Ralphie back hard.

Taking Chloe's hand, Carrie hurried back toward Ian. "It's not my fault," she heard Ralphie shout. "I told her to stay where she was." "She's just a little kid," Ian shouted back, red-faced with anger. "You were supposed to watch her."

"You were supposed to watch her!" Carrie said, coming up behind Ian. "She's your sister, not Ralphie's. I left you in charge, not Ralphie."

Ian whirled around and faced her. "You should talk!" he shouted. "You do it all the time. You leave us when you're supposed to be watching us. You did it twice already!" Carrie was speechless. She couldn't even defend herself by saying she'd left Sam in charge the last time. After all, that's exactly what Ian had done. He'd left Ralphie in charge.

"Well, I was wrong to do that, Ian," Carrie said finally. "And you were wrong to leave Ralphie in charge. Now, come on, let's go home." "I'm sorry I pushed you,"

Ian said sullenly to Ralphie.

"No problem, man," Ralphie replied "I'm sorry I left your sister there. I thought she'd stay where she was. See ya tomorrow, maybe." "Yeah, maybe," said Ian. "So long." Ian and Carrie didn't say much as they gathered their belongings. They were both emotionally drained. Chloe picked up on their mood and played quietly with her unicorn in the sand until they were ready to leave.

As they drove home, Carrie felt her spirits sink lower and lower. It had occurred to her that when Ian and Chloe told their parents what had happened, it would be the last straw. She could ask them not to tell, but that seemed wrong to her.

So this was it. Her summer at Sunset Island was over. She shook her head sadly.

Who would ever had guessed that out of inexperienced Emma, wild Sam, and sensible Carrie, it would be Carrie who blew it? / certainly wouldn't have thought it, she thought as she pulled up the drive and into the garage. h.e.l.l, even Lorell hasn't gotten kicked out! I wanted to be a new me and I did it. The new, screw-up Carrie.

Getting out of the car, she unloaded the beach things from the trunk. "Ian, would you hang up these towels for me?" she requested, holding out the sandy towels with one arm as she continued gathering other items. When Ian didn't answer she turned to look for him. "Ian? Chloe?" They had been standing right next to her a second earlier.

"Not again," she muttered as she checked around the garage. In a moment she found them sitting in the back seat of the car together, talking seriously.

"What are you two doing?" she asked, opening the back door.

"Ian doesn't want me to tell that I was lost today," said Chloe. "He doesn't want Mommy and Daddy to be mad at you." "I figured you're kind of in trouble already," Ian explained. "I don't want you to get fired or anything. And Chloe's okay. Nothing happened to her." "Something could have. We were very, very lucky," Carrie pointed out, surprised to find a lump coming to her throat.

"I know, and neither of us will ever leave her alone again. Mom and Dad don't have to know about it. If you get fired they might hire some new, geeky person who'll ruin our whole entire summer," Ian said. "You should have seen the woman who took care of us last summer. Chloe, you remember Hannah, don't you?" "Bigfoot!" Chloe cried, her eyes wide with alarm.

"She always wore these big black shoes, even on the beach," Ian explained.

"Hannah wouldn't let us do anything. It was the worst summer of my life. If you go, they might even call Hannah up again." "Oh, no," cried Chloe, clapping her two hands to her pudgy cheeks and slowly dragging them towards her chin so that the bottoms of her eyelids were pulled down.

The sight made Carrie laugh. "I wouldn't want that to happen," she chuckled lightly.

"Me neither," said Ian. "So if it's okay with you, I don't think we should tell Mom and Dad." "Uh-uh," Chloe agreed, shaking her head vigorously.

"All right. But we'll both promise to be more responsible for the rest of this summer. Deal?" Carrie asked, sticking out her hand to Ian.

"Deal," Ian replied, shaking. "I promise, Carrie." Inside, Carrie was climbing the stairs with Chloe, headed for the bathtub, when Claudia called to her from the living room. "There was a phone call for you," she said, coming to the stairs dressed in shorts, a T-shirt, and red cowboy boots. "Billy Sampson called and said he wants to pick up his camera tonight. He wasn't sure when he would get here, but it'll be sometime after eight o'clock. He said you could just leave it by the front door." Claudia looked at Carrie sympathetically. "I'm sure it would be safe there if you don't want to see him.

Or I could give it to him, if you like." Carrie smiled ruefully. "Either way,"

she said with a shrug. "It's pretty clear that he doesn't want to see me." "The island is full of boys," Claudia said kindly.

Carrie nodded. But there's only one Billy, she thought as she trudged the rest of the way up the stairs.

Carrie held Billy's camera in her hands. Once she had given it back there would be no more reason for them to communicate. Their romance-which had never really begun-would definitely be over.

Might as well use it one last time before he gets here, Carrie decided. Claudia had given Carrie the evening off, saying she wanted to spend some quiet time with the kids. Emma and Sam had called, but Carrie didn't feel like going out.

The last few days had been emotionally and physically draining. She just wanted to be alone.

At seven o'clock she loaded the camera with a fresh roll of film. She placed it in her beachbag along with her box of stationery, her novel, and a beach towel.

b.u.t.toning up her drop-waisted blue cotton sundress and slipping into her huarache sandals, she headed out of the house and down toward Thorn Hill Beach.

The beach was at the bottom of a bluff. A long wooden staircase was the only access point. Carrie made her way down, stopping to look at the blue cornflowers and graceful orange daylilies that grew up along the sides of the railing.

At the bottom, she found the beach was empty. This wasn't surprising. Thorn Hill Beach was usually empty in the evenings. That was one of the reasons she'd chosen it.

Carrie spread her blanket and sat, hugging her knees. The surf pounded against the large boulders that sat several yards out, spraying water high into the air.

At the water's edge, long-legged sea birds hunted for food washed in by the tide. They seemed to play a game of tag with the water as it swept in and then ebbed back out to sea.

She picked up her stationery and began a new letter to Josh.

Dear Josh, It's almost impossible to describe how beautiful this island is. No matter where you turn there is another scene calling out to be photographed. I don't know where to begin. Should I get up close to a wild/lower, or stand back and take in the length of a winding country road with its stone fence and old barn off to the side?

The other day, I wrote you a letter which I'll stick inside this envelope. I meant everything I said; I just want to say a few more things. Today I almost lost Chloe at the beach. For a moment I thought she'd drowned. That would be the most completely devastating thing I could imagine happening.

Remember when you were reading books about Zen and you explained to me about satori, a moment of sudden illumination? I think I had a sort of satori on the dock today. It was the moment when Chloe stood in front of me and I realized she was all right.

What did I realize? It's kind of hard to put into words, but I'll try. I realized that all the things I've been concerning myself with lately-my looks, my image-don't matter. Chloe matters. My friends, my family, you matter. All the people I touch and who touch me back. That's what matters, and the care I take of those relationships is what's important. All the rest of it is just entertainment, diversion. It's not what's at the core of things.

Maybe that's why I'm writing now. My relationship with you has been one of the most important ones in my life. I don't want to abuse this relationship. It's too precious. But maybe I am abusing it by continuing to write to you and keep the connection after I've refused to make a commitment. I would like to keep writing because you are still the only one I can tell certain things to. But I wonder if I'm being selfish.

Please think hard about what I'm saying. If you think we should have some real s.p.a.ce between us, write one more time and let me know. If you're sure you can deal with me as a friend, I'll be glad to keep writing. But I don't want to mislead you or hurt you.

I'm going to sign off now. This is the last day I have to use this great camera I've been loaned. I want to make the most of it. I hope you're having a terrific summer. Let me know what you think about everything I've said.

Love, Carrie.

Sticking her letter in her bag, Carrie fished out the camera and got to her feet. Her first photo was of the wildflowers by the bottom step. Their petals were beginning to close, yet they seemed to lean their heads as if to catch the last of the evening sunlight.

Walking along the sh.o.r.e, she spotted an old high-top sneaker someone had left behind. When she got nearer, she was startled by a crab that seemed to have made its home inside it. Quickly she dropped to her stomach, focused, and snapped.